Author: Ashley

Title: Finding Our Way Back

Rating: M

Part: 10/15

Pairing: Mon-El and Kara Danvers (Zor-El)

Word Count (Chapter Ten): 3,349

Summary: "It had been almost two months and he wasn't getting any better. Her eyes were wide as she sat there staring at him. She didn't know what to do. She didn't know how to help him." - Kara and Mon-El break up in 2x16: Star-Crossed and the Music Meister never pushes them back together. After an incident with his mother, Mon-El has been put into a coma to recover from lead poisoning. Kara moves on without him. When he wakes up, will they be able to find their way back to each other?

Disclaimer: I don't own Supergirl, DC Comics or anything related to such things. The ideas, dialogue and plot points here were inspired by the show, but they are my own. Plagiarism isn't nice. Please don't steal my ideas.

A/N: Hello again!

I was so overwhelmed by the SDCC craziness for all my fandoms this weekend (esp SG tho ahhhhh) that I had forgotten to update last Friday when I had originally planned to! Sorry for the long wait after such a short chapter.

Hope you enjoy this next one. Only 5 more left after this one! I'm sure you all feel like this is taking forever to get to happy, but we're almost there!

Chapter Ten

October 8, 2017

His eyes jumped all across the DEO computer screen, eyeing what the trackers were finding going on in the city. Kara hadn't arrived yet, and he hoped to find some mission to go on without her before she got back. He hadn't seen her since that day he'd met Eric and he wasn't looking forward to talking to her. No doubt she would come looking for him eventually. At least, the Kara he used to know would. He wasn't so sure about the new, angrier Kara.

"Hi," he suddenly heard her soft voice behind him and he cringed. He didn't even hear her step up toward him. He knew they were going to have to have this conversation and he was pretty sure that he didn't want to. He didn't expect her to come and find him so quick, but nonetheless…

"Hi," he turned around in his chair to face her, his eyes leaving the DEO tracking screens and awkwardly looking up at her.

They just stared at each other for a while; Mon-El obviously knowing what she wanted to talk about and Kara not knowing how to start.

"So, your boyfriend…" he started for her, the word like acid on his tongue, lead in his veins.

"I was going to tell you…" she insisted lightly, her voice near a whisper.

"Yeah, I'm sure you were. Eventually…" he scoffed.

She nodded quickly. "Of course I would have told you, I just…I was…"

"Waiting for the right time, I'm sure," he finished for her.

"I sense that you're upset…"

"Why would I be upset, Kara?" he sighed loudly, drawing the eyes of some nearby agents. "And why should you care about my feelings anyway? You don't want to be with me, remember?"

"Mon-El, we might not be together anymore, but I still care about your feelings. We're-"

"Please, don't say we're friends, Kara."

"But-"

"I'm remembering," he stated plainly and she just stared at him. "I'm remembering things. From before the coma."

"You are?" Her voice was surprised.

"I'm pretty sure almost everything. Everything important at least," he paused. "I remember you meeting my parents…on their ship. How they treated you and the things they said…which I'm sorry for by the way. When we talked on the landing by the balcony before you left me standing there without giving me a chance to explain," he nodded his head in the direction of the spot and she turned around briefly, her own memory of that moment flashing through her mind. "I remember that before that you came after me when I said I wanted to go up there alone." Kara watched him as he revealed what he now remembered, pain visible on his face. "I've been remembering things all the time, Kara, and what it feels like to me is that we weren't even friends before the coma. Not after you ended things," he shrugged. "I don't know how you expect us to be friends now."

"But, I want to be friends, Mon-El," she spoke softly, stepping closer to him, aware of the listening ears of the agents of the DEO. "I want to try."

"Kara," he let out a sigh. "I don't want you to want to be friends with me because you feel guilty."

Her eyes widened, "What?"

"I know there's a part of yourself that's blaming what happened to me on you. I know you think that this was somehow your fault, but it's not. Maybe it doesn't seem like it to you, Kara, but I am capable of making my own decisions. I ultimately decided to meet with my mother. I decided to confront her. You just suggested it."

"I gave you the idea," she said simply, a hint of sadness in her tone.

"Whatever," he shrugged. "We weren't together. You weren't threatening me. It wasn't an order. I didn't have to listen to you, you know. I did it because I knew she would come for me eventually. I'm just sorry that you were there and could have gotten hurt."

She sighed, "I really do want to be friends, Mon-El. I don't like this," she moved a hand back and forth between them, "what we've become."

He looked at her for a minute, scanning her face, his eyes darting up to hers to see if he could believe her.

"I didn't tell you about Eric because I didn't want to upset you or hurt your feelings or anything. I know this has all been really overwhelming and really hard for you to adjust to…the coma and the memory loss and all," she paused. "And I mean, Eric and I…we've only been together a few months-"

"A few months is a long time, Kara," he shrugged. "We were only together a few months, and I'd like to think that we had something meaningful. Something special," he added mournfully.

She looked away from him. "I…well, I guess so, but…I just…if it didn't work out, then I wouldn't have told you anything about something that wouldn't even matter anymore…"

"Well, are you guys…you know, getting very…into this relationship?" He asked it, but the second the words left his mouth, he knew they were a mistake. He wanted to take them back. He didn't want to know.

She paused. She really hadn't thought about it. She was only really taking it day-by-day; only starting to look at the full picture of their relationship recently, since he'd woken up from the coma and really started to get her thinking about it. She shrugged slightly. "Yeah…I guess we are."

They were both quiet for a moment before, "So…how did you two meet?"

"Excuse me?" Her voice was small, tinged with awkwardness.

The man looked up from his desk, his bright green eyes connecting with hers, "Yes?"

"Snapper told me that this is my desk…" she trailed off as she bit her lip.

"I'm sorry, what?" He cocked an eyebrow at her, a confused look on his face.

"I'm Kara. I just got…re-hired?" She shrugged awkwardly. "Snapper said that this was my new desk."

He scoffed at her. "Where am I supposed to work then?"

She just stared back at him, her eyes wide. At that moment, Snapper happened to be walking by. He stopped for a quick second, pushing his glasses further up on his nose. "Nicholls," he spoke loudly, "You're in that corner now." His hand pointed outwards and off to the opposite side of the room. All that stood there was a tall table without a chair.

He called back to Snapper as he walked away from them, "That's not even a…" his shoulders dropped, "…desk."

"I didn't have a desk for months," she smiled. "If you need the space to keep working, I-I don't mind sharing," she shrugged.

He sighed as he shook his head, pushing back some of his blonde hair from his forehead. "I'm sorry. I was rude before. Deadline," he smiled a crooked smile and she couldn't help but return the gesture. He held out his hand to her as he stood up. "I'm Eric. Eric Nicholls."

"Uh," she reached her hand out nervously, his having been hanging in the air solo for far too long. "Kara. Danvers." She smiled a toothy grin in his direction as their hands met. Surely his grip was tight, but she barely felt it. She did feel a little twitch in her belly though. A hint of excitement running through her.

"Danvers?" he paused for a moment, his grip still holding against her hand. "I think I might have been hired to replace you actually. Reporter?" She nodded silently as he finally let her hand go. "A month ago?" She nodded again. "Yup, definitely your replacement," he smiled awkwardly and she saw a blush starting to form on his cheeks. "I'll just move my stuff out of your way so you can have your desk back."

She shook her head as she watched him start to pile notebooks on top of his closed laptop. "No, that's okay." She assured him. "This actually wasn't my desk before. I really didn't have one. It's fine. I don't have a story right now anyway. Just…keep working." He smiled back at her with a nod and she turned to leave.

The continuously bumped into each other at the elevators. They shared the same table in the breakroom. They crammed both themselves and their pens, papers, notebooks, and laptops on their tiny shared desk all day long. Mon-El was awoken from his medically induced coma and he kept his eyes shut. She thought it was fate. Fate (and those excited butterflies in her stomach) were telling her that Mon-El was her past and Eric was for the future.

But she didn't tell him any of that.

"CatCo," she nodded.

"Oh," he nodded back. "So, you two work together then?"

"Mhm."

"I see. I guess that makes sense…that he was at CatCo the other day. Well…okay, then maybe if we're just able to casually mention it and don't avoid talking about it together, maybe it all wouldn't sound so…weird to me."

She nodded again, "Okay."

"So, you know, don't be afraid to bring him around to hang out with him here or at the bar and stuff because-"

"He doesn't know I'm Supergirl," she cut him off.

He raised an eyebrow at her.

"YET!" she added quickly.

"Oh," his eyes widened at her revelation. "And how's that working out for you?" His eyes were surprised, and he almost smirked at her when he asked. Almost. He knew better. Not in public…not in the middle of the DEO and all its staff.

"It's working," she spoke.

She lied. She was pretty sure it wasn't working. But she wasn't about to tell him that.

"Good," he nodded. He took her words at face value. He didn't sense the trepidation in her voice. He sighed, "You know, I still care about you, Kara. I just want you to be happy. Whatever that means for you," he spoke softly, his eyes leaving hers as he briefly recalled the memory that had come back to him recently.

"I'm just happy," she smiled at him, her nose crinkling, her eyes lighting up, her cheeks rosy. She was beautiful and she was sitting in his lap, smiling and happy. This was all he'd ever wanted.

"Yeah?" It's all he could think of to say. He was so smitten that his brain wasn't thinking of anything but her.

"Yeah, like that dopey grin, butterflies in my stomach happy."

"Mhm," he hummed in agreement. He knew that feeling well.

"Is that cheesy?" Her forehead fell to his shoulder and he felt those butterflies she spoke of, their wings flapping wildly inside of him.

"It's like a rom com on steroids cheesy." She was looking back at him like this was also all she ever wanted and he knew that this was it. This was where he belonged. This was where he wanted to be. Right here. With her. "I'm happy you're happy."

"I am," she tried to smile and it almost registered on her face. She wasn't quite sure that it had made it out to the surface.

His eyes didn't meet hers. "Even though you're lying to Eric. And to yourself if you think that keeping this from him will work in the long haul. I mean…I would know."

He didn't see her eyes widen and her shoulders drop a little.

"So, friends then," he said as he abruptly stood from his chair, his eyes meeting hers as she jumped slightly.

"Friends," she held out her hand for him to shake.

He cleared his throat awkwardly. "Kara, I don't want to cross the 'friends' line the second after we've established it, but…" his eyes flicked down to hers nervously. "Can I hug you?" Her eyes widened at his question and he rushed to explain his request. "I just…we used to do it all the time and I was just so used to doing it before and now nobody is really strong enough and sometimes you just need a good hug, you know? Like when-"

She cut him off as she pulled him toward her, her arms wrapping tightly around him as their chests collided and she held him against her. She wouldn't dare say it, but she missed that, too; the way her arms could lock around him in a vice grip and he wouldn't cry out, his back wouldn't crack; he'd only grip her in return just as hard.

He sighed against her shoulder as his arms slid under her cape, wrapping tightly around her waist. She tried to bat away the butterflies in her stomach with her mind. She was working toward forgiveness, but the anger should still be there, only just starting to fade, right? But still, those butterflies remained relentless in her stomach, her anger long forgotten, at least for the moment as she held onto him.

Then he was pulling away with a shy smile on his face and she couldn't help but notice that tears were forming in his eyes and it was like a super punch to the stomach. It shouldn't have been, but she couldn't deny it.

"I'll uh…you probably have to go out there…uhm, I mean Supergirl is probably needed on the streets. So, I'll see you later then?" he questioned softly, his eyes not meeting hers and she could only nod as she turned to leave to go check in with J'onn and Alex.

He plopped back down into his chair with a heavy sigh as he watched her go. He knew that this was going to be uncomfortable. He knew it was going to hurt. But that really hurt. Clearly she was moving on. She didn't need him in her life anymore, but at least she seemed to want him in her life.

Maybe it was time to move on. Maybe Alex was right? Maybe they should just be friends. It was better than nothing. Maybe he should take what he could get and just hope that that awful, painful feeling would slowly start to fade.

It was starting to all make sense to her; his lies, how judgmental she had been, and now, that she was doing the same thing to Eric. Unintentionally, of course. But how had she not noticed before this moment?

Kara could feel his eyes on her back as she walked away. Why did that conversation hurt so much? She really did want to be friends. She wanted him in her life. She knew she was furious before, but as time went on, it was becoming easier to understand why he had kept the truth from her. His own mother did attack him and she had clearly been upset over the fact that he was Daxam Royalty.

Then every time he smiled that sad smile or his eyes avoided hers or he awkwardly stumbled over his words, she felt a pang in her chest. She was doing this to him.

She could still feel something for him, way deep down inside of herself. Feelings that she had spent the last seven months supressing. The butterflies in her stomach, the pounding of her heart, that feeling that overcame her when she was around him where she just knew that everything was right.

She still felt all of that.

But not with Eric. Not with her boyfriend. Not with whom and where she should be feeling it.

Not anymore.

When she really let herself think about it, that feeling had worn off pretty quickly. At first, Eric, he was an option. Someone new, exciting, and different. But as time went on, she realized that he was too different.

When Mon-El was in the coma, she thought that she was looking for something different. In reality, she was pretty sure was really just looking for someone to replace Mon-El; someone who would take him off her mind. Someone who was able to give her the same feelings. Someone who elicited the same butterflies, the same pounding heart. But there was only one person out there who really did that for her.

Mon-El.

The man who was standing in front of her asking her to hug him because he'd been feeling so alone.

She missed how he used to hold her, but most of all, she missed holding him. She missed being able to grab onto him, her arms gripping around his sides without the fear of crushing his spine. She could squeeze and tug and pull and he would just move closer and let her cling to him on those days that she really needed to. She knew it well how a simple hug could just bring you closer to people; make you feel less alone.

The first time he'd been unconscious and lying in the DEO med bay, back when nobody knew who he was or where he'd come from, she had promised him that he'd never know what it was like to be alone because she was here. Now, here she still was, only now she was pushing him away; leaving him to be alone.

But not anymore.

This was where that ended. They used to be friends, before they took the next step to lovers. They could be friends again. They'd just have to work a little harder.

So what if Eric didn't know she was Supergirl? She could work up to that. She'd tell him soon. In the meantime, they could still spend time together as a couple with her friends. Maybe Mon-El was right. Maybe saying it out loud and bringing Eric around would make it all seem less weird. They'd been so separated in their relationship from her friends and her Supergirl life. Maybe trying to bring those two worlds together wouldn't be so bad. Maybe eventually she'd be able to tell Eric about her secret and he'd accept her and he'd become a part of their group. Maybe having Eric and Mon-El in the same circle would make her brain realize that she had both men in her life. She didn't need romance with Mon-El. Friendship was enough, as long as he was in her life.

But, she just couldn't help but wonder if this was all so weird because deeply hidden inside of her she didn't want Eric to be a part of their group. Maybe she was trying too hard to force this into working. Perhaps, she didn't see Eric in the same light anymore; not in the way that she used to. Maybe this was all a sign. Mon-El staying in his coma could have been fate telling her to try something new in order to realize that she'd had what she'd wanted all along; that Mon-El was who she really wanted. Perhaps it was all a way for her to realize that even though she was angry, she should try to understand his point of view; to understand why he did what he did; to make it easier to forgive him.

Forgive.

She could do it.

She understood now.

She understood that she was wrong about Rhea. She understood that he didn't want to be the person he once was; the person his parents wanted him to be. He wanted to pretend that his past had never happened because he was ashamed of it. Everyone had something in their past that they wished they could forget.

He had lied to her because he knew she would freak out. And she did. And she pushed him away; something he had feared from the beginning of their relationship. She could see it in his eyes whenever she scolded him for doing something wrong, or crinkled her eyebrows at him when she was upset.

So now, they were going to fix this. Step one: they were going to be friends. This was going to work.

But there was still that nagging feeling in the bottom of her heart and in the back of her head telling her that she actually wanted more.

A/N: Thanks for reading everyone! I'd appreciate any comments, favourites, follows, tweets, etc. I love hearing you guys' thoughts!

I also love getting prompts and fic ideas! I know a lot of you have given me them (dear lord i have literally 30+ fics IN THE WORKS...some have chapters, some have paragraphs, some have just some scattered lines broken down with main points) but whenever I come down with a bit of writer's block, I jump to something new...and sometimes the prompts help shake it up in my brain. So feel free to send them my way! (also I'll be going on a vacation soon where there's no TV, no wifi, and spotty cell service so I'll need something to fill my time with!)

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