"Miss Evans?" A third year was standing before her holding out a letter. "Headmaster Dumbledore gave me this to give to you."
"Thank you." The Head Girl smiled. She and Marlene were sitting outside of the Great Hall while Alice was off somewhere with Frank. They were starting to see less and less of Alice as the days went on. Neither had really talked with Frank, either. So the girls really couldn't tell if they actually liked Alice's relationship.
Dear Miss Evans,
I request your presence in my office as soon as possible. The password is 'gumdrops'.
Sincerely,
Headmaster Dumbledore
Lily, who assumed Head business was in order, excused herself from Marlene and told her that she would see her later at dinner. She knew exactly where Dumledore's office was. And by this late in the school year, she knew exactly what his office looked like because of all the meetings her, James, and Dumbledore had.
"Professor?" He looked up from a stack of parchment on his desk.
"Have a seat, Miss Evans." He wasn't smiling. He had his hands folded neatly on his desk and watched her. Was James called down as well? Surely this had to do with the upcoming Valentine's Day Hogsmeade trip. Could they still go?
"I've had to do this far too often, Miss Evans. It's really a shame. And it's not easy for me to do so either." She hadn't a bloody clue what he was talking about. Had he finally gone off the edge?
"Lily, this morning, several houses were attacked. Each house lived a family of a Muggleborn." He started to explain, "We're almost positive that it was the work of Voldemort." He shook his head and gave a long sigh. "I'm sorry, dear, but your parents were one of the houses they attacked."
"And?" She wanted to hear they were okay. She wanted to hear they were at St. Mungos and she could visit.
"I'm sorry, Lily." She knew exactly what that meant.
She felt like the world had been completely flipped upside down. Her head was suddenly pounding and her stomach had dropped completely. She wanted to throw up.
She couldn't even think of the words to say. Her parents were gone. Her parents were dead. Destroyed because of her being a Muggleborn.
"Th-thank you, Professor." She choked the words out. She couldn't let herself cry. Not yet.
"Miss Evans, anything you need. I'm here." Professor Dumbledore's voice was soft and almost had calming like effects for just the moment being. "Arrangements will be made for you to go home for a day or two to do what you need to do."
She nodded her head.
Her head wasn't functioning properly as she walked quickly down the corridor. She couldn't cry. Not with all these people around. People wouldn't think highly of their Head Girl if she cried.
But her parents were dead. Both of her parents had been killed. They weren't even old. They still had plenty of years. Her mum had yet to expand the bakery like she wanted to. And her father was still working his way up in his career as a lawyer. She wiped frantically at the tears that were leaking.
And Petunia? Petunia probably wanted Lily dead right now. Had they told Petunia how their parents had died? Did she know it all lead back to Lily and Hogwarts?
"Lily! McKinnon told me that Dumbledore wanted to see you. I didn't get a letter. Did he have something to say?" James was heading right towards her with his mouth going nonstop. Her head was pounding and everything was happening too fast. "Lily?" She was shoving past him. "What s'matter?"
"Bug off." Her voice cracked. "I need to go."
He was blocking the doorway into their common room. She just wanted to get in before anyone else saw her. She just needed to scream. "Lily?"
"You're the very last person I want to deal with right now. Would you please move?" She sounded absolutely pathetic.
"What gives? What did Dumbledore want?" He sounded so casual and happy. She wanted to punch him in the face.
"Get the bloody hell out of my way, you prat. It's none of your business." She was shoving against him with her arms.
"Lily, you can tell me." Like nothing, he put his hand on her shoulder. Like she wasn't even pushing him.
"My parents are dead, okay?" She was near shouting. "Does that satisfy you? Now are you done being a complete jerk?"
He immediately released her and stepped aside. "Thank you!" She hissed. But she was relieved of him just yet. The bloody wanker followed her from the entranceway to her bedroom.
"Let me sit with you." She ignored him as she ran frantically around her room to gather various items of clothing.
"I just want to take a long shower, James." She was annoyed. Hadn't his father just passed a couple months previous? Wouldn't he be one to understand?
"Then I'll be waiting right here." He told and gestured to her bed. "Lily, I've been in your spot. As good as it felt to be alone, it was good to have someone I cared about with me."
"Leave me alone. I hate you." She slammed the door connecting her room and the bathroom shut.
She turned the water on as hot as it would go and let the bathroom fill up with steam as she slipped off her uniform. The water scorched against her skin. It wasn't a typical shower for her. She didn't wash her hair or lather up with soap. She let everything she felt the moment she'd found out her parents were dead out. She sobbed into her hands under the running water.
She cried until her skin was wrinkled and her skin was bright red. She wrapped herself in a fluffy white towel and took a seat next to the shower. Her skin burned against the cool tile. She hadn't even realized how hot the water was.
"You okay in there?" James deep voice broke her trance.
"Bloody git." She mumbled as she pulled herself from the ground. She threw on a pair of worn shorts and a long-sleeved button down. Her face was red and puffy, her entire skin was a bright red color, and her hair was starting to dry. She could hardly look at herself in the mirror.
She didn't know how long she'd spend in the bathroom. But James had spent the entire time on her bed reading her book of Head Girls. "Really, Lily, after looking at these pictures, I'm glad I got you as a Head Girl." He showed her a picture of the Head Girl from 1941. She had a mass of frizzy hair with thick glasses.
Lily hushed him. She might have found that funny yesterday. Not right now.
He tossed the book aside and patted the spot next to him. Lily silently obeyed and sat on the edge of the back with her back towards him.
"It'll get better." He reassured her.
"Doubt it." She scoffed.
"You'll never get over it. I still have my dad on my mind every single day. I wonder what I'm gonna do without him. He was supposed to help me become an Auror. He was supposed to be bloody there when I left to complete my first mission as an Auror." He sounded almost angry and disappointed.
"I've got absolutely no one without my parents. My sister hates me." Lily wiped frantically at her eyes, "Neither of my parents are gonna watch me graduate. I've got to find my own place as soon as I'm out of school. And what about my wedding? Bloody fu-"
"You've got all your friends, Lily." He interrupted her before she could say more. "McKinnon and Prewett would drop it all to help you. And of course I'll do what ever you'll allow me to do."
Lily sniffled. She hadn't really thought about even tomorrow. It was even harder to think about the future. How would she even tell Marlene and Alice her parents had died?
"I'm leaving for a day or two coming up to sort things out at home." Lily wondered what home was as she spoke. "Can you manage?"
"I'll get by." He spoke as her pulled her by her waist to a laying position.
"Just don't blow anything up." She asked of him.
"Now, Lily…" He'd wrapped her underneath her blanket tightly. "You can trust me!"
Her sniffle turned into a small laugh. "I have enough to worry about without you mucking around."
"Harmful muck, really." His hand idly played with the covers. "Perhaps Sirius could take your spot for the day?"
"I've got an extra skirt I could let him borrow."
"Blimey, Lily! If there is anything I don't want to imagine, it's him in a skirt." He made pretend gagging noises.
Her face felt stiff from all the crying. Nothing seemed real. It had yet to really sink in that her parents were gone and she'd never see them again. James let her cry on him until she was asleep. And in the morning, when she'd slept right through her first two classes, she could feel him right beside her.
"You shouldn't have stayed." Her head was pounding and every bone in her body ached. "You shouldn't have missed your classes."
He propped himself up on his elbow to look down at her. "I can make up the work, Lils. I probably would have slept on my desk anyways."
"That's not the point, James. It's not going to go over well when people realize we're both missing. We're Head students." Nothing could stop her from her duties as Head Girl. Not even the death of her parents. "I can't bloody believe I slept right through my alarm."
"You didn't." James rolled onto his back and rested his arms behind his head. "I turned it off."
"You insufferable, big headed git!" She was throwing her fists at him. "You can't pull stuff like that!"
He pushed her away slightly. "Go ahead, Lily. Go to class. Have everyone ask you if you're okay. Try to act like everything is okay. You might have to stop in the bathroom a couple times to fix yourself up 'cause you might have shed a tear or two." She sat up to listen to him as he spoke. "Have fun having to explain before class to McKinnon and Prewett why you missed classes. I'm sure my friends will want to know if you know where I am."
He had a point. For the first time since she found out about her parents, she didn't really want to scream and cry. Of course she still felt like she could break any minute.
"Or you could wait. 'Cause I'm sure we'll be getting a visit from our lovely friends around lunch time."
Lily rolled to lie on her side and face James. "I can't avoid everything."
"You don't have to pretend everything is okay, Lily."
"You did when your father died."
James was silent and didn't look at Lily. What made him any different from her?
"That was the worst week of my life, Lily. I've never had to lie so much in my life. I had to lie to everyone and to myself." He told her, "And everyone bloody knew I wasn't okay. And they wouldn't leave me the hell alone. I regret not going home, Lily. My mum needed me and it's not like we learned much that week."
"I just want to go home, James." She'd starting crying once more as soon as she spoke the words.
"Soon, Lils." He gathered the crying girl against his side.
At lunch, as expected, Alice and Marlene, soon followed by Remus, Peter, and Sirius, were all in the common room. James quietly explained that Lily had lost her parents and told them that she was sleeping. She, of course, wasn't. She only sobbed hardier when she heard the knocks at the door. She wasn't ready to speak to her friends and had begged James to speak on her behalf. After much pleading, he obeyed.
She'd received a letter that night from Dumbledore telling her that if she were ready, she could go home the next day to attend her parent's funeral.
James had rested on her bed as she packed a small bag. She set the bag by the door for the morning.
"Thank you for everything. I don't deserve any of it. Yet you're still there for me." Lily confessed and sat on the edge of her bed.
"Not true. You do so much for everyone around you. You deserve every bit of me." She could sense more meaning coming from his words that he had intended.
Lily Evans was the one who initiated the kiss that night on her bed. He let her kiss him for a brief moment before pushing her away and telling her now wasn't the right time.
"I just need to be alone tonight." He obeyed her words and slept in his own room that night. She didn't see him when she left that morning for the train.
Lily Evans cried the entire way to the platform. Not just because her parents were dead. But because she had let herself fall completely for James Potter.
Review…