a/N:update!!yey!!! happy dance.


I go ballistic!!Yeah you make me a crazy chick.

10. Girls my age have cooties too.

Okay so I'm really freaking out. Or overreacting. I haven't quite decided. Tomorrow I am going out with Jared on a date again or for the first time I haven't cleared that one are we could end up doing the deed again, and I'm excited yet nervous. I am not going to wear white undies, again, oh no. I am going to be ready this time. I had never noticed or considered the importance of owning any kind of kinky underwear. Nothing lacy or pretty, or simply seductive was on my drawers. I laughed nervously at myself, now I was seducing Jared.?Who was I kidding? Of course I wanted to seduce Jared, captivate him was more accurate. I mean I had been close with other guys but Jared was simply something else. There was no denying it anymore. Jared was someone special, in the right kind way. He was right I liked him too, and it was weird but it was a good weird.

I was currently browsing for sexy lingerie on the net to get ideas of what to look for. Some of the stuff that came up was pretty revealing, things I am sure only porn stars wore. Did guys really get off from girls wearing these see through nighties, or bra's that didn't actually cover anything up. I totally dismissed those kinds of garments, I was nowhere near confident enough to pull it off. I was thinking along the lines of lace, and ribbons, something pretty but not too outspoken. I don't want to come out as a slut or anything or like I'm trying too hard, even if I am.

I read in a magazine once that red was a good color. I would choose a red matching ensemble and work from there. Red lips, red toenails, and light makeup. Really they should teach this kind of stuff at school, instead of repeating the same things over and over. All the teachers did when it came to talking about sex, was explaining the female and male anatomy, std's and how to prevent unwanted pregnancies. Nothing about what happened after your first time, how much it hurt, how to enjoy yourself or pleasure your partner. So many things were left out, important things that you were then forced to look up on your own.

Unfortunately I was the first one to lose it, so none of my friends could help me much in that department. I didn't want Jared to leave Friday with a hard on again. I didn't know where he was taking me, but I had already traded rooms with my brother just in case. We could end up sneaking in, and take it from there. I was going to be prepared mentally and physically. Having the afternoon free, left me time to browse and study a bit. I found this website that gave you advice to enhance the pleasure of your partner. According to the website one of the things that guys really enjoyed were blow jobs.I cringed when I read it, I had only gone down twice, three time if I counted Jared. And I didn't like it all. I felt like I was choking, my eyes would get teary, and it didn't exactly taste bobbing your head up and down wasn't a turn on. But for some guys it was supposed to be even better than sex.

There was this article gave you pointers to perform a better fellatio. Apparently men loved when you moaned or showed enjoyment from doing it, the vocalizing apparently sent vibrations through their skin stimulating nerves and the fact that you're enjoying it as much as them sends them through the roof. Then there was the eye contact, and I guess it was better keeping your eyes on them, than their things. Jared's chocolate dreamy eyes were certainly a pair of pools where I would gladyly drown myself in. And finally it said that men loved when you let them cum on your mouth. I actually coughed when I read this and turned beet red. Swallowing sperms made me queasy, but maybe I was willing to try for Jared.

Something else I studied for my date with Jared, were sex positions. I didn't want to seem completely unexperienced, he would get completely bored with me, and I was not having any of that. I wanted to enjoy our time together, suddenly the idea of Jared as my boyfriend didn't seemed so far fetched. I could picture myself sneaking with him to be together, or experimenting with him. Some of the ideas that were shown of this website were exciting.

"Watching porn Kimmy"Maddie snickered as she came behind me. I almost jumped out my seat.

"Have you ever heard of knocking" I said trying to close the website, but failing miserably. She only laughed harder and sat on my bed picking up the magazines I had sprawled on the bed.

"Been researching?"Maddie asked.

"Where's Lexie?"I asked trying to ignore her wiggling eyebrows and smirks. My computer was working against me and it got stuck, so I decided to turn off the stupid monitor. Kicking my desk in strolled in with Colin laughing. Leave it to Lexie to joke around with my brother, maybe being an only child makes you crave siblings...

"Hey can we bring your brother?" Colin was like a freaking toy she wanted to entertain herself with. I swear I would gladly give him away, but mom liked him.

"No, he can't he has homework" I lectured "Which you should be doing right now, or I'll tell Dad when he gets home" Colin only pouted and huffed, and Lex patted his head affectionately she whispered something in his ear, and he grinned and left the room snickering.

"I don't appreciate you making fun of me"I said, as I searched in my closet for a jacket. I was cold.

"Well you are no fun"Lexie said "Besides what harm could it do?"

"Besides traumatizing the kid for life after forcing him to watch his sister pick lingerie?"Maddie asked sarcastically. We heard the honk of a car. Sarah was here and it was going to be a long drive.

"Will you finally be kind enough to tell me where we are going??!!"I asked for like the thousandth time. Not looking at him and focusing on the screen before me.

"You need to learn to be patient woman"Jared said laughing

"Don't call me woman it makes me sound old"I said trying to picture a forty year old me with heals in a suit.

"Okay should I call you baby instead" Jared said scooting his chair next to mine "I'm done"Great he was getting the hang of the newspaper.

"You should call me Kim" Or I might call you by the long list of nicknames I have for you although that would only make me look bad and stalkerish or kind of obsessed....

"Kiiiiiim" What was with him and purring my name. I guess sometimes it was just bizarre to other people, a freshmen girl sitting next to us was looking completely creeped out. But Jared didn't even noticed, like always. After my little talk with Sarah I still hadn't gathered the courage to asks him personal questions, but I was more observing when it came to our time together. When Jared and I talked even if it was about stupid stuff, the world simply dissappeared. Like losing awareness of your surroundings, this particular fact annoyed my friends a little bit, especially Lexie who was an attention craving freak.

"You know the end of the year school dance is coming right?"I finally closed the program had been working and turned to look at him.

"Prom??" I asked confused why was he bringing that one up.

"Yes dance slash prom "Jared said "You know pretty dresses, punch, lousy dancing."

"We're juniors why should we be aware of our pseudo prom?" I asked getting excited at the prospect of him asking me to go with him. I know Sarah was going with Anton, he was a senior but before Jared came into the picture I didn't even wanted to go. I had no boyfriend to take me. Not that Jared is but he will be, I think or hope. Or both.

"Because I would like to take you as rehearsal?"

"Rehearsal for what?"

"Of our prom next year"

"Next year??!!! And you're already planning it."

"Doesn't matter we're going together"

"Are you really asking me out to prom next year?" I lifted my eyebrow trying to keep the laughter that was just about to burst. I had the feeling he was being serious again. Jared had these little flashes of seriousness, when he would whisper things with so much emotion or conviction it threw me off.

"I guess I am." I laughed trying to push him off, for being silly but he caught but of my hands in his and leaned close until he was practically breathing on face, making the strands of hair move slightly. "Promise you'll go with me"

"Okay"I said

"Promise Kim. Please"

"I promise I'll go" I said softly squeezing his hands, feeling the bubblign joy on my stomach and not being able to hold his intense gaze. Secrety hoping that he wouldn't forget he had asked in the first place.

Most of the mothers do their groceries on the morning while their kids are at school. Of course except for the ones who work, they are excused. But well my mother doesn't work she's a house mom. Cooking cleaning and caring is what she does. Which is why it pisses me the fuck off that I am here at the freaking super market doing the groceries with Colin while mom goes to some useless dinner with Dad on Seattle.

A change of plans doesn't even cover what I've been forced to do. With my mom and dad leaving for Seattle to the buissness dinner and possibly romantic night out in the city, going out of the house was a big no. Not to mention I was informed of their stupid plan after getting home from my painting lessons. I was a chicken and texted Jared to cancel, I was afraid to call him. I was really looking forward to tonight's big date secret plans...

Then Mom shoved a grocery list on my hands along with money and the car keys, and I was ordered to come here and get things. As a consolation prize Colin and I could have pizza and rent a movie.

I had scoffed at that and bitched all the way here.

"Kim can we get ding dongs??"Dropping two boxes on the cart. I only nodded and he grinned and ran to get probably more sugary foods.

"Kim, kim!!"I hear someone call me I stopped the cart and turned around, it was Emily. And she wasn't alone, her cousin was behind her. Leah Clearwater. Crap!!!

"Emily"I said smiling a little bit trying not to feel intimidated by her cousin's sneer. I swear I didn't know how Emily did it, I wouldn't stand next to that woman, she was amazingly beautiful and gorgeous, even when she was being unpleasant she managed to look stunning.

"Shopping?"Emily asked. I nodded.

"Yeah my parents left to a fancy dinner on Seattle and I had to pick the groceries."

"I thought you were going out with Jared?"Emily said looking confused. That perked Leah's interest and she smirked. "You are Jared's new girl?"

"Leah.."Emily pleaded at her, but I only gulped and tried to glare back at her. Maybe ignoring her was the best course of action. Leah was a self righteous bitch, and I didn't exactly hate her but I wasn't such a big fan of her ways. Besides what did new mean?? Was this Jared's thing, did he just woo girls constantly...

No!He said it was something special.

"I had to cancel"I replied feeling the blood go up my neck and color my face. Leah's wicked grin only widened "Tough luck, he won't be getting any"

"What??!!!"I exclaimed louder than I had intended, but the fact that Leah had hinted I was Jared's little slut was just outrageous.

"Leah"Emily said in the same motherly tone of voice. But Leah had already stepped out and walked to where I was standing.

"Don't be surprised princess"Leah said "Everyone knows" And she kept walking. Emily tried to apologize for her. But I was too stunned to listen to her. I quickly excused myself, the grocery list long forgotten and searched for Colin.

"Why didn't you turn right?!!"Colin whined when I passed the turn and drove home instead, skipping the pizza dinner mom had promised him.

"I'll cook" I replied "I'll even let you eat on the living room"

"No I want pizza"

"Well we'lll order in then"

"You're still mad at mom?"Colin asked. I didn't look at him, he was still a bit young for me to spill my feelings on him.

"No it's not about mom" I said keeping the eyes on the road.

"Is it because she didn't let you go out tonight?"Okay so the kid was pretty perceptive.

"Sort of. I really wanted to go out I guess"Colin snickered and I reached out to hit him.

"You can go, I mean I can take care of myself, I promise I won't tell mom"He said with a serious face. "If she calls I can just tell her you're asleep" I laughed, I couldn't figure mom buying that, and I with the bad luck I usually had, mom would find out and would ground me until next year.

"Nah, she would tell you to wake me up."I said

"But it's Jared" I turned to look at him surprised my eyes practically popped out of my head.

"I heard Maddie and Lex babbling" He admitted sheepishly "Is he like your boyfriend now?!"I laaughed at his horrified face. The kid is only twelve I get that, but I guess he still think girl have cooties, and maybe the fact of thinking of his sister and another guy peeves him. Truth is girls my age still have cooties, but they call them stds and guys don't mind them so much. I could explain that to Colin, but he's young I don't want to scare him off.

"No he's not"I assured him patting his head affectionately "Maybe but a girl could only hope right"

"Eww Kim, he's like fat"

"Fat?"

"He's gigantic, and all fat"

"He's not fat!"

"He is and he looks like a man"

"Well he is a guy"

"No, he looks older than Ade"he said as if I was stupid "Like Sam."

"Well he's a bit mature but he's just so..."

"Kiiiiim"Colin stopped me before I could praise Jared. I parked the car and kept laughing, I loved my brother, talking to him was easy and funny. We didn't fight s much anymore, and I sort of enjoyed when it was just the two of us.

"So are you like in love and stuff?"He asked more seriously. I shook my head. "I don't know maybe"

"Silly Kim"Colin said disgusted at my dreamy face. "You better tell him to watch it if he hurts you..."

"He's not my boyfriend" I said shutting the doorcar loudly.

"Yet" A deep baritone voice said behind me. He stepped into the light, and there he was. Jared in all his manly, mistyfying, mesmerizing hotness looking dashing and ready for our date

a/N: a BIT OF A FILLER AGAIN BUT I WANTED ONE MORE KIM BEFORE ANOTHER JARED ch.

BTW aLL little things i throw like her mother's dislike of jared, her father's overprotectiveness, paul fondling kim,emily's private one on one with kim, the debate internship and now little Leah's comment are all going to play on their relationship...it's just not randomness to fill the chapters....

how cute is taylor lautner as wolf.....people are saying it's abit cartoonish but i just loved it....

i wished they had showed the wolf pack...anyways...

promise ill try to keep updating.