Catching Fire: Rekindling

By: Jamie Sommers

Chapter Nine: Parcel Day

When last we were in D12, Gale and Peeta had been whipped. Effie sent some gifts.

I have finally started my tumblr page, which is a bit barren at the moment, but there are a few musings up there so feel free to check it out. I would also like to thank those of you who have taken it upon yourselves to promote my stories via your own pages. Thank you so much. I'm flattered. Please remember I do not get paid for writing these stories, I do it for the fun, but your kind words are much appreciated. Thank you to A and S for putting up with my super CRAZY. I can't tell you how many times I've changed this chapter...and the next. They really are remarkable. Now, shall we grab a glass of iced tea and catch up on...

Catching Fire: Rekindling

There was a soft glow shining like a beacon through the darkness that consumed him. Gale's mind was foggy and his body ached. He felt as though there were shards of glass embedded in his back. Through the faint light he could make out her features…Katniss.

"Katniss is getting something to help you sleep," Peeta was next to him.

"Katniss? Is she…" Gale felt like he could barely get the words out.

"She's fine. Don't worry about her."

Katniss reappeared with a bowl of something and began feeding it to Gale. "This will help."

Gale swallowed spoonful after spoonful of the sweet syrup laced with herbs. His eyes roamed back and forth between Peeta and Katniss. He wondered why they hadn't tried to leave yet. Surely something like this would've scared Peeta out of his wits and definitely enough to make a run for it. "I thought you two would be gone by now after…"

Peeta glanced over at Katniss then back at Gale. "We're not going anywhere."

"You're not?" Gale asked.

"Nope," Katniss face was inches away from Gale's. "We're staying here and causing all kinds of trouble."

Gale's eyelids were drooping from the sleep syrup. He barely managed a smile as he said, "Me too."

His eyelids felt like they weighed a ton. Gale blinked slowly, trying to determine how much time had passed since he had fallen asleep. The house was so silent…still. He saw her out of the corner of his eye. Katniss was standing in the kitchen by the sink, filling up a basin. He wanted to reach out to her, but he couldn't move. His limbs were too heavy, so he settled for watching her. He could make out the soft expression on her injured face. She didn't need to tell him how she got the welt across her cheek or the black eye that was forming. It had come from the same place he had gotten his injuries.

He heard her voice speaking softly, "Let me do this for you and then I'll change out of my clothes." She set the basin down and began walking towards the table. Gale wanted to keep his eyes open, but they were too heavy so he closed them and just let the sound of her voice ease his weary soul. "You can't blame yourself for this. Don't try and tell me you're not doing that very thing right now, because I know you better than that. We both know this wasn't because of a stupid rabbit…this was a message." Gale could hear her getting closer to him. He was sure she was sitting next to him. "When I saw you get hit today…I was so scared yet…at the same time…I was so proud. You are the most selfless human being I have ever known. You willingly put yourself in danger to protect the people you love…the people I love." Gale's eyelids fluttered open. Something inside of him knew she wasn't speaking to him, but to…

Peeta was sitting on a chair with Katniss in his lap. She was running her hand down his cheek and pressing soft kisses against his forehead. "Katniss, this is my fault. If Gale hadn't been coming to my house…if I hadn't asked him…"

"Stop it, Peeta," Katniss placed a kiss against his lips to halt his words. "If he hadn't been coming to you, then he would've been going to someone else on another day. A day when we may not have been in town. When you weren't there to help him."

Gale didn't understand what she was saying. Peeta helped him?

"Yeah, a lot of help I did," Peeta said.

"You did help him. Those last few lashes could've killed him, but you took them yourself. You stood there and just…" Katniss' voice started to crack. Peeta lifted his hand to her head then put it back down and switched to his other hand. Gale's eyes followed the hand that Peeta dropped down to his side and saw the bandage wrapped around it.

"Shhhh." Peeta stroked her head. "Shhhh." He tried to comfort her as she silently cried into his neck. "I thought you were going to help me get cleaned up?"

Gale's eyes were opened in little slits as he watched them. Katniss stood up and led Peeta into the kitchen. She slowly removed his shirt and had to cut the sleeve to make it wider in order to fit it over his bandaged hand. She pulled off his boots, his socks, his pants…and Gale couldn't seem to take his eyes off of them. Peeta just stood there as Katniss washed him down from head to toe then dried him off. She put fresh clothes on him; some woolen socks and some house slippers then stood up on her toes and kissed him.

Gale closed his eyes when he heard her say, "I love you more than anything in the world, Peeta Mellark."

And Peeta's gruff reply, "I love you too, Katniss…so damn much."

He had expected to feel pain…heartache…jealousy, even hatred, but none of those emotions filtered through his core. Instead he felt shame. This was the second time he had intentionally watched Katniss and Peeta without their knowledge and he didn't like himself much for making a habit out of it. He tried to go back to sleep, but the pain was too much and the quiet from the kitchen too tempting. He had expected to see them locked in a passionate kiss, but they were just standing there looking at one another, moving their lips. Gale couldn't make out what words their lips were forming, but whatever it was it caused Katniss to clench the center of Peeta's shirt in a fist and press her ear against his chest like she was checking his heart rate. Peeta kissed her head then Katniss turned her face to his. 'Okay, so now they're going to start the overzealous kissing,' Gale thought to himself. He wasn't wrong about them kissing one another, but there was nothing passionate about it. Peeta gave her three, soft, slow pecks against her waiting lips. The last one longer than the others. When he was through, he stepped back and Katniss began cleaning up the remnants of his sponge bath.

"Sorry," Gale heard Katniss say to Peeta with panic in her voice. "Did I hurt you? Oh, Peeta. I'm so sorry." She dropped the pile of his dirty clothing onto the floor.

"You didn't hurt me, Katniss." Peeta told her.

"Are you sure?" Katniss lifted up Peeta's injured hand and began turning it from side to side, examining it with her eyes. "I put the basin on top of your fingers."

"Don't worry about it." Peeta pulled his hand away and put it behind his back.

"What's wrong?" Katniss' voice began to raise some. "What aren't you telling me?"

"It's nothing…I just…I'm sure it's temporary." Peeta began.

"What's temporary?" Katniss asked and Gale wondered.

"I can't feel my fingers," Peeta admitted. For a moment, Gale wished he couldn't feel his back. 'It would be great not to be in pain,' he thought, but then the reality of it sunk it. 'If Peeta can't feel his fingers, then how's he supposed to use his hand?'

Katniss reached around Peeta and held onto his wrist, making sure not to touch his hand. "Which fingers?"

"Just the ones Prim had to put the stitches in between."

"You mean the ones you use to hold your paintbrush," Katniss closed her eyes and blew out a breath. "Dear, God, Peeta. Why didn't you say something to mom? She would've be able to…"

"She knows, Katniss." Peeta interrupted her. "I told Prim and she told mom about it."

Gale was trying to take stock of the situation. Not only did Peeta help him, he took several lashes from the whip himself and had to be stitched up. Now, he can't feel his fingers and… "You…" Gale choked and tried again. "You can't…feel…your fingers?" His words were coming out in between slow, uneven breaths and his voice sounded gravely.

"Gale," Katniss turned her head, but held onto Peeta's hand. She turned to look at Peeta and back at Gale again. It was like she was trying to make a choice.

Peeta made it for her. He walked towards Gale and took Katniss' fingers off of his wrist. "You need anything?" Peeta asked. "Some water or juice maybe? I can get you some juice."

"No, I'll get it," Katniss offered. "I've got some apple juice in here. That should be good for your stomach and it won't burn your throat." She went into the kitchen to fetch it as Peeta took a seat next to Gale.

"You…you didn't…" it was so hard for Gale to talk. His throat was so dry and achy, he was parched. "…answer me."

Peeta hung his head down; his bangs flopped across his forehead casting a shadow over the tip of his nose. "No. I can't feel two of them, but I'm sure it'll be fine in a day or two." He lifted his head. "Stuff like this used to happen all the time when I got hit before. I'd get a spanking or something and it would feel…sort of numb and then I'd be fine."

"Are you…numb?" Gale asked. Peeta didn't have to answer; Gale saw it in his eyes. Peeta couldn't feel a thing and that wasn't a temporary problem.

Katniss came back with a small glass of juice and a straw to sip it through for Gale, and then held it to his lips. "It's too soon for more medicine. Are you in pain? You must be. I'd give you something stronger, but I don't know what's what in that apothecary when it comes to pills. My mom doesn't label them."

"I'm sure mom doesn't want us to mix anything with the syrup and herbs she gave him already, Katniss," Peeta leaned his elbows on his knees and bent forward. "We could wake her."

"No," Gale's throat felt much better once he drank something to quench his thirst. "I can deal with it." He took a long pause and said, "I'm really tired."

Katniss sat down next to Peeta and told him, "That's the sleep syrup."

"I'm surprised it didn't knock you out," Peeta said. "I was out like a light for over a day."

"That's because…you're a wimp," Gale gave Peeta a weak smile.

"Yup," Peeta smiled back. "Just call me dough boy."

"Mom mixed it with herbs and she didn't give him as much as I gave you," Katniss turned to Peeta, saying it almost defensively. "Plus you had a high fever, Peeta."

"I know, Katniss. We were just kidding." Peeta looked at Gale. "Weren't we?"

"Yeah," Gale gave Katniss a smile.

"Oh…" Katniss said meekly. "I knew that." She took Peeta's good hand in hers and one of Gale's. "You two need to rest. You're no good to me like this."

Peeta lifted her fingers to his lips and placed a kiss against them. "Go change. You're filthy. I'll sit with Gale until he falls asleep, then I'll try and rest, okay?"

"Okay." Gale could feel her fingers squeezing his and watched as she cupped Peeta's face in her hands and placed a kiss against his lips. "I'll be right back."

He watched her as she disappeared around the corner then turned his attention to Peeta. "How come you get the kiss…while I'm the one…who got the beating?"

Peeta gave him a humble grin. "Guess I'm the lucky one."

Gale looked at Peeta's hand and said, "You don't look…too…lucky to me." The pain in his back was getting worse. He closed his eyes tightly and tried to push thoughts of it out of his mind, but the lasting effects of the whip's sharp stings were too prominent. Gale took in several deep breaths between clenched teeth. He tried to prevent the tears from falling, but he could no longer control his reaction to the pain. He didn't notice Peeta's face so close to his until he began to speak.

"Listen to my voice, Gale. Just concentrate on that. Open your eyes and look at me. Come on, Gale. Look at me." Gale didn't want to look at anyone. He wanted to scream…to yell, but Peeta kept insisting. "Damn it, Gale. Look at me!" Gale's eyes opened to find Peeta's just inches away from his. "Focus on my eyes." Gale did what he was told. "You're not in Katniss' house. You're in the woods. You know that spot by the big maple tree? There's a blackberry bush a stone's throw away. You know where I'm talking about, right? You and Katniss eat there all the time." Gale stared into Peeta's eyes, wondering why he was telling him this, but Peeta just kept on talking to him, describing the area right down to the bark on the tree. Suddenly Gale could see it…the maple tree…the blackberry bush. He had shared many meals there with Katniss over the years. "You can picture it now, can't you Gale?" Gale unintentionally nodded at Peeta. "Good. That's where you are. Its late spring so the blackberries are just starting to come in…" Gale was concentrating on the hypnotic sound of Peeta's voice. "…you can see the berries…firm…big…juicy and when you taste it, the flavor bursts in your mouth. Can you taste it, Gale? How sweet the juice is." Gale could almost see Katniss tossing a blackberry in the air and him catching it in his mouth. "You and Katniss are in the woods…Prim's made some goat cheese and I've sent some fresh rolls for you. Picture it, Gale. You two, having a friendly picnic by the maple tree…the birds are chirping…you can hear the boisterous sounds of crickets rubbing their wings together to fill the air with music…" Gale had never thought about crickets as musical, but he could hear it now. Their sounds in harmony with the buzzing of the bees. "…squirrels are scurrying about…up and down the branches of the trees which are covered in fresh green leaves. Picture it Gale. See it in your mind." Gale felt his eyelids begin to droop and the pain in his back begin to subside. "Prim's goat cheese is creamy today. You break open a roll and hear the cracking of the crust as you split it apart. You spread the cheese over the fluffy center and bite into it…" Gale could taste the flavors of the bread and cheese…the blackberries. See the brightly colored green and yellow leaves…smell the flowers. He could hear the sounds of the woods surrounding him, not the gentle patter of Katniss' feet as she came upon them in the kitchen.

As sleep took him over he felt her kiss against the top of his head followed by her soft spoken voice saying, "I love you."

…..

…..

Katniss sat on the edge of her bed in nothing but her undergarments. It had been a very long day…night. She felt as though she hadn't slept for a week. Gale had been beaten within an inch of his life and Peeta might possibly lose the use of his hand. It was all too much for Katniss to comprehend. Things were so much simpler a year ago, but a year…a week ago seemed like a lifetime ago. Katniss dragged herself off the bed and changed into something warm and comforting, a pair of pants from her dresser and a sweater of Peeta's that Haymitch had packed for him. It came down to the middle of her thighs and she had to roll the sleeves up a few times, but wearing it made her feel like his arms were constantly surrounding her. She pulled on some socks and her slippers then headed for her door. She paused before exiting her room and looked at the clothes she left strewn about the floor thinking, 'You're right, Peeta. I'm a slob.' She went back in and picked them up then placed them in her hamper.

She could hear the sound of Peeta's voice as she walked into the kitchen. It was that warm and soothing tone that he used on her to calm her down. He'd been using it almost nightly on the tour to get her through the nightmares, but tonight he was using it on Gale. Katniss stood to the side and listened as Peeta described a day in the woods to Gale. She saw her friend's eyes slowly closing and knew he was falling into the familiar trance that she had so many times before. She took slow and careful steps towards the men, who had been nothing short of rivals not twenty-four hours earlier, and laced her fingers through Peeta's hair as he quietly comforted her best friend. It amazed Katniss how Peeta could look past people's shortcomings and see them for who they really were. She could tell that Peeta wasn't looking at Gale as the man that tried to take her away, but her friend who was in pain…in need. Katniss rested her cheek upon Peeta's hair for a second then placed a kiss against Gale's head as he slept. She looked into the face of the man she was going to marry and thought, 'I don't deserve you.' She trailed a finger along the edge of his perfect lips and said to him from the bottom of her heart, "I love you."

Peeta stood from his kneeling position in front of Gale and wrapped his arm around Katniss' waist. He buried his face in her hair and breathed her in. The day's events had finally caught up to him. His legs began to shake as he pulled her closer. "I need to sit down," he whispered.

Katniss stepped out of his embrace and pulled a chair over to him. When she went to sit in the empty seat next to him, he held his arms out to her and she climbed into his lap. "Peeta, I really think you should get some rest."

"I will. Let me just hold you for a little while." Peeta could feel her curling into him, but it wasn't enough. It was as though he had to remind himself he was still alive…they were still alive. He could feel himself finally coming down from the adrenaline rush he'd held onto for so many hours, but now in place of steely determination was need. A hunger that only she could feed. "Katniss," he pulled her head back and began to kiss her. As though she could read his every thought, her mouth was warm, willing and waiting for his. Her hands pulled his head closer to her, holding him against her and when their lips weren't enough, their tongues began their merciless dance. He held her as best as he could without using his hand. Her body was precariously perched on his lap, her knees wrapped around his torso, her hands gripping his face, her chest pressed into his. Peeta could feel his heart's wild rhythm and his mind racing in time. 'Katniss,' he thought to himself. 'What would I have done if it were you lying on that table? If you had taken even more of a whipping than you did? Please don't ever try to do something like that again. I know he's your friend, but I'll take care of him…of you. I can't stand the thought of anything happening to you.' He gently yanked her away from him by her hair and said throatily, "I love you," then continued to demonstrate how much. When their breathing became labored and Gale began to stir, they pulled apart.

Katniss slid her body off of Peeta's and sat in the chair next to his. She had almost felt guilty for giving into their needs, but their actions seemed to have a somewhat refining affect on her. She felt whole again. "I want you to get some sleep."

"I think we both know I won't be able to," Peeta told her. "Why don't we just…" Peeta's eyes scanned the living room. "Can you lift that rocker?"

Katniss looked at the large chair and said, "I think so."

"Bring it in here. We'll take turns resting and keeping an eye on Gale."

She couldn't lift it, but she dragged it by the little rug it sat on and moved it alongside of the kitchen table where Gale was laid out. "You first," Katniss said.

"Both of us," Peeta sat in the large chair and held his hand out to her. She climbed into his lap and he pushed a foot against the floor causing a gently swaying motion. "I wish there was something more I could do for him."

"Me too," Katniss said against Peeta's chest. The combination of Peeta's arms wrapped around her and the easy glide of the chair had her feeling very relaxed. She yawned and said, "My mom should be awake in a little while, then she should be able to give him something else for the pain."

"Shhh," Peeta ran his good hand down Katniss' hair. "I don't want to wake him up again. Let's just sit quietly." He pushed his foot against the floor in a steady rhythm. He could feel Katniss' breathing start to slow. Soon it was even and shallow. He didn't have to look to see that she had finally fallen asleep.

Haymitch walked into the house shortly after first light carrying two packages. "Hey, kid."

Katniss had been up for a few minutes and was not too pleased that Peeta had let her fall asleep. She was in the kitchen putting on a pot of tea. "What's that?" She lifted her chin, gesturing to the items in Haymitch's arms.

"Gifts from Effie."

Peeta was wiped out and tempted to take a nap on the sofa, but he didn't want to just in case Katniss needed him for something. "That was nice of her." He didn't really care about new paints since he was sure he wouldn't be able to use them for quite some time…if ever again. He cleared his head of those thoughts, pushing them to the back of his mind, not wanting to dwell on his own misery while there was still so much more to worry about.

"Where's your mom, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked as he walked into the kitchen.

"Asleep," Katniss answered.

"I heard her walking around up there…it's either her or Prim," Peeta informed them.

"Good," Haymitch had a wicked gleam in his eye. "Why don't you go get her?" He said to Katniss.

"If she's up, she'll be down soon enough." Katniss didn't feel like dragging her mother downstairs before she was ready. Her mother was going to have a full day ahead of her and needed her rest.

"Go on, sweetheart. I need to talk to her."

"She'll be down soon," Katniss put the pot of water on the stove for tea.

Haymitch's hand grabbed hers before she could turn the stove on. "Get your mom, sweetheart," his voice was politely demanding.

"Fine," Katniss snapped. She spun on her heels and went to fetch her mother.

Haymitch took the smaller of the two crates and walked up to Peeta. "Want me to open this for you?" Peeta had no idea why his mentor was grinning so wildly.

"I really don't care. It's not like I can use them." Peeta answered.

"Still…might be nice to see what she sent," Haymitch began prying the lid off of the small crate.

Inside Peeta saw rows of various tubes of paints. The selection was huge. Effie had outdone herself. Peeta smiled thinking his escort's heart was in the right place even if her brain wasn't. "I'll have to call her and thank her later."

"Want to look them over?" Haymitch asked eagerly.

"Maybe later, Haymitch."

"Sure…sure, kid." Haymitch looked from side to side and began to pace back and forth. "Maybe we should take these back to your place…put them away?"

Peeta was getting tired of Haymitch dwelling on such an insignificant thing. "Maybe you could bring it there for me? I kind of have other things on my mind right now."

Gale began to stir at the sound of their voices. Haymitch went into the kitchen and set the paints on the counter then lifted the lid to the larger box. He lifted a couple of bottles and examined them, then put one next to the sink. The others he kept holding up to the light, tilting the bottles…looking at them and finally putting one next to the other on the sink. Peeta didn't think he smelled alcohol on the man's breath, but it wouldn't surprise him if Haymitch had been drunk already. Especially if Effie had sent him whiskey. 'Wait a minute,' Peeta thought to himself. 'Effie would never send Haymitch booze.' Peeta stood up and walked over to his mentor, furrowing his brow and looking at the bottles. Haymitch gave him a mischievous grin and twisted the cap off of the brown liquid; he held it up to Peeta's nose for him to sniff before setting it down. Peeta had expected it to smell like Haymitch whenever they were traveling or in the Capitol, but it didn't. It smelled medicinal. It smelled like the stuff the Capitol had made him drink after he won the Games. Peeta's eyes lit up as he realized exactly what Effie Trinket had sent them. 'My God,' he thought. 'I love that woman!'

Katniss' mother entered the kitchen with Katniss following closely behind. "She was up. Prim's still sleeping though, so keep it down," Katniss gave Haymitch a stern look.

"Yeah, no problem." Haymitch turned his attention to her mother. "Thought you might want to give Gale a couple of shots of whiskey to help with his pain. It might help."

Before his soon to be mother in law could protest, Peeta grasped her wrist with his good hand and gave her a nod. "Haymitch hates to share his alcohol, so I'd take advantage of it if I were you."

Haymitch held out a bottle of milky white liquid, clearly not whiskey, to Katniss' mother. She uncapped it and took a whiff then stared at both men in disbelief. Haymitch handed her the other bottle and he whispered in her ear, "Antibiotic."

Evelyn Everdeen ran to her apothecary and took out a syringe, quickly racing back to the bottle that held the milky white liquid. She filled it, tapped the side of it to get the unwanted air bubbles out and ordered Haymitch to, "Pour a shot of that whiskey. I have a small glass in that cupboard." She pointed to the one above his head.

Katniss stood back wondering why her mother was going to shoot Gale with a needle full of alcohol. "Wha…"

Peeta placed his fingers over her lips and whispered in her ear. "Shhh…it's medicine."

Katniss didn't understand what was happening. She wanted to ask them how they got a hold of medications for Gale, but she knew she couldn't do so in her house, so she stood back and watched as her mother lifted Gale's head and made him swallow a glass of whiskey…medicine, she had no clue, then gave him a shot in the arm.

Haymitch whispered something in her mother's ear, to which she nodded and began boiling a large pot of water, then adding in empty glass bottles from her medical cabinet. Katniss knew she was sterilizing the containers, but she didn't know why until her mother began pouring the milky white liquid into the clean jars then sealing them and storing them away. Finally she boiled the empty bottle that had originally held the medication and gave it back to Haymitch. She put the bottle of whiskey in the apothecary along with the rest of her medical supplies and said, "Peeta, have you gotten any sleep?"

"No. He hasn't," Katniss answered for him.

"Why don't I take the kid home for awhile?" Haymitch offered. "He can lie down…get some rest. Katniss can come and keep an eye on him."

"That sounds like a fine idea," Evelyn said. "Gale will be sleeping for a few hours now that he's had some whiskey." She turned to Haymitch. "Thank you for the bottle. I know how you hate to part with it."

"Considering the circumstances…I figured the boy could use it a lot more than I could," Haymitch said. "Come on, kid." He picked up the crate with the paints in it. "Let's get you home for a little while."

"I'm really not tired," Peeta insisted, even though he was exhausted.

"Peeta, go home and rest," Evelyn told him. "Katniss. Take care of him." They were about to walk out before she stopped them. "Wait." She got out the antibiotic and poured Peeta a small shot glass full and handed it to him.

Peeta tasted the familiar flavor of the brown liquid. He hated it. "See you later."

They walked into his house and Haymitch set down the crate full of paints on Peeta's table. "Look through these things kid. I won't know one from the other."

"Do you think she sent something else too?" Peeta asked.

"I know she did. She sent something for your hand," Haymitch answered.

"Who sent what?" Katniss felt like she was losing her mind. Peeta was picking up each tube of paint and staring at it.

"She said something about your favorite color," Haymitch told him.

"Orange," Peeta mumbled as he looked for the tube with the orange lid. "Here it is. Ha! It's oil based. She knows I don't use those."

"Who knows what?" Katniss yelled. "Can someone please tell me what the hell is going on here?"

"Effie!" Haymitch said with a huge smile. "That woman never ceases to amaze me!"

Peeta handed it to Haymitch. "Open this." The smell assaulted Peeta instantly, but the tube was too small to help Gale. "Is there another one?" He began looking through the paints again.

"Doesn't look like it, kid."

"What did Effie do?" Katniss asked trying not to let her frustrations get out of hand.

"She smuggled us medications from the Capitol," Peeta answered. "But…" he picked up tube after tube of paint. "There's not enough."

"What are you talking about, kid? That's plenty to help you out," Haymitch took the medicine from his hand.

"Me?" Peeta felt his anger bubbling over. "What about Gale? What the hell am I supposed to do about Gale's wounds?"

"Wait a minute…you mean that stuff can help you, Peeta?" Katniss took the tube from Haymitch's hand. "What is it?"

"Remember when I cut my hand at the Capitol?"

Of course Katniss remembered. She was the reason he cut it. "Yes."

"This is the stuff Portia used on it to make it better," Peeta pulled out a kitchen chair and let himself collapse. "But there's not enough here for Gale. I don't know what that little tube is supposed to accomplish on his back."

"It's not for Gale." Haymitch told him. "Effie sent it for you, kid."

"And you expect me to use it? While Gale is lying there…" Peeta stood up and kicked the chair away from him. "NO! I will not heal myself and let him suffer!"

"Peeta, don't be stupid," Katniss walked up to him and placed a calming hand on his shoulder. "There's no way Effie could've sent enough for the both of you and you need this."

"So does he. Let him have it."

"It won't do him any good," Haymitch tried his best to get Peeta to change his mind. "The boy needed something for pain…Effie saw to that. She sent enough pain medication to last a long, long time. He needed something to make sure his wounds didn't get infected…she sent him that too." Haymitch paused. "Effie sent the best medicine possible for Gale…and you. Now don't be stupid, boy. Use the stuff."

"No," Peeta turned to Haymitch. "If it's going to be used. Gale can use it. I know how this medication works. By tomorrow I'll barely have a mark on my hand and Gale…he'll…" Peeta turned away. "No. I can't."

Katniss began shaking her head back and forth. "You have to." She reached for his bandaged hand determined to remove the gauze and apply the orange cream. "You can't feel your fingers. If you don't use this you may never be able to use your hand again."

Peeta held his arm above his head, keeping his hand out of Katniss reach. "Stop it, Katniss! If you want to use it so damn bad, go put it on Gale's back."

"Gale's back?" She yelled. "What about your hand?"

"Listen to the girl." Haymitch gave Peeta a warning. "You willing to lose the ability to use that hand because Gale's back won't be pretty anymore?"

"Shut up, Haymitch!" Peeta yelled at him. "Don't ask me to do this, Katniss," Peeta lowered his voice down. "Please."

Katniss backed away from him. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. "And you call me stubborn? Peeta what if you can't paint anymore?"

"I couldn't paint for years…couldn't afford it," Peeta said with a tight jaw.

"You know…sometimes you can be a real ass!" She ran out of his house and slammed the door behind her.

"Katniss!" He called to her, but before he could run after her, Haymitch stopped him.

"Effie risked her life for you, kid. That woman put herself in jeopardy just so you could use your hand again and you're going to throw that away?"

"I'm not throwing it away." Peeta turned to him.

"No. Of course, you're not." Haymitch said sarcastically as he headed for Peeta's door. "Imagine if Katniss went to that feast and you refused to use the medication when she got back to the cave."

Peeta stopped walking and glared at Haymitch. "It's not the same."

"Isn't it?" Haymitch put his hand on the doorknob. "The difference is, if Effie got caught, her life wouldn't be over quickly like a tribute in the arena…they'd make her suffer…torture her for years…yet she risked it, knowing what the outcome would be if someone found out what she was up to." Haymitch twisted the knob and said, "She did that for you, kid. For you…because she loves you." He opened the door and walked out.

Katniss was holding onto Gale's hand with both of hers. She was whispering to him when Peeta walked in.

"How're you feeling?" Peeta walked up to Gale.

Gale gave Katniss a little tilt of his head, like he was telling her to go away. Katniss stood up and walked into the kitchen and sipped at a cup of tea. "Sit down," Gale said quietly to Peeta.

"You need anything?" Peeta asked him.

"Yeah. I need you to pull your head out of your ass," Gale answered.

Peeta glared at Katniss who arched a brow at him, daring him to start something with her. "Gale…"

"I'm about to pass out here, Peeta so come closer and listen." Peeta leaned his head in as Gale began to whisper to him. "Use the drugs. They won't do me a damn bit of good, but they'll help you and you'll need two hands to take care of her." Peeta closed his eyes and pressed his lips together. "My back will be fine…just a bit scarred. Your fingers…" Gale stopped speaking and Peeta thought he had fallen asleep from the medication he was given. He pulled away and heard Gale's voice again. "Someone told me once, 'Pride does no one any good when it comes to survival.' Smart guy. A bit of a dough boy…but smart," Gale gave him a pathetic grin. "Don't let pride stand in your way, Peeta."

…..

….

It had been over eight weeks since Effie sent her gift to Katniss. She had expected to hear something back from them sooner, but it wasn't until the middle of the ninth week that Peeta sent a surprise via Capitol train informing Effie of the goings on within their district. Katniss and Peeta had been speaking to their stylists regularly and Effie called on occasion to keep them up to date with the wedding plans, but they all knew to call for no reason and simply say hi, how are you, would be frowned upon and they most certainly couldn't tell them the things they had said in their recording. Since Peeta's injury only one delivery of art supplies had been sent to him. If they sent too much someone would question it. The only thing keeping Effie's mind occupied was keeping the rebellion efforts going. The uprising in District Eight had come to an end, but that didn't mean the rebels had given up. More and more districts were slowing down their productions. Not meeting quotas due to mechanical malfunctions, lack of supplies… The fishermen in District Four had rigged their gear so they could no longer catch shrimp by the net full and their crab traps had been fixed not to close so the creatures could escape with ease. Each boat had Peacekeepers stationed on them now, and they were reporting back to their superiors letting them know that there was no foul play going on. It was simply a bad season. In District Three the materials they received were subpar and they were unable to meet the supplies the Capitol residents demanded for electronic devices. District Seven slowed down lumber production and so on and so on. The only district that didn't seem to be having a problem producing their "goods" was Two, where Peacekeepers were being pumped out nonstop.

On the bright side, Plutarch had suggested a nationwide contest to President Snow in regards to Katniss and Peeta's wedding attire, planting a little seed in his brain that keeping it in the Capitol might be for the best. In the end, Snow suggested to Plutarch that they run several television specials in the Capitol only and once they got down to the final few choices they could allow the rest of the nation to view it on television. Effie didn't think the rest of the nation would ever see it, but she could hope.

Slowly but surely, Effie, Cinna and Portia snuck items into their hideout. Plutarch brought the food in through his home as his house was the easiest to explain food delivery. Over the course of several weeks, the barren room that had once been dark, cold stone was now lit up by the touch of a button. Cinna had converted his synthetic fire idea and turned it into a way to light the pathways and the room. A storage cabinet from the bar had been brought in one night after closing and was now stocked with bottles of water, non perishable foods, blankets, matches, knives, medications and anything a hiding rebel would need. In the depths of Effie's mind she knew she was preparing a secret home for Katniss and Peeta. If for some reason they needed to run and hide, no one would ever think to look for them right under Snow's nose.

Effie took a breath and brushed a stray hair away from her forehead. 'You can do this, Effie Trinket,' she thought to herself. Tonight would be her biggest haul of medication to date. She couldn't take too much at once as there wasn't an endless supply of the items and people were sure to notice, especially since there were no tributes or mentors in the Capitol and every escort knew that was when the medical supplies were really used. Their little group of rebels at the Capitol had planned this ever since Plutarch told them about the television special. Cinna and Portia would be featured live at the City Center, Plutarch would be running the show and Effie would be stealing medical supplies while the residents of the Capitol sat glued to their television screens to see the unveiling of twenty-four wedding gowns and tuxedo designs. Effie had two hours from start to finish. Two hours to get the items she needed, get them to their hideout and return to the City Center. Every minute…second was accounted for. She wouldn't even have time to unpack the items once she reached the hideout. All she could do was walk into Tigris' shop, dressed as a delivery attendant and leave them behind the closed door, she couldn't even change her clothing there. She'd have to wait until she got back to the City Center and change in the dark corridors leading to the escort's medical bay. She tugged on the sleeve of the attendant's uniform and hoped no one would notice her going into the desolate area of the medical center. She loaded the items she needed into the empty boxes she brought with her and stopped moving when she heard the footsteps coming towards her. Effie looked to each side of her, trying to figure out where she could hide. She pushed the boxes next to a shelf and squeezed underneath it just in the nick of time.

"She doesn't fool me one bit," Effie heard the familiar shrill of a fellow escort speaking. "That woman could care less about those two. All she cares about is getting a better position."

"Can you blame her?" Another escort said. "Who would want District Twelve?" They both laughed and Effie wanted to yank on their spindly ankles from her spot under the shelf and make them fall face first against the floor.

"Goodness knows I could never have dealt with that man for as many years as she has, but when you're desperate to be an escort…"

"Now, now, Lucinda…he did bring home two victors this year."

"Two victors and a hell of a hangover." Effie pursed her lips and clenched her fists at the sounds of their cackling at Haymitch's expense.

Effie heard the shuffling of items on shelves and the two women discussing the products they could use to tighten up their skin and make their lips puffy. She never understood why those things were provided for them since there was no medical value other than cosmetic, but those were the items that went the quickest, second to morphling. She tried not to pay attention to the conversation the escorts were having as it only infuriated her, they were doing nothing but talking about other escorts and their own tributes that had perished in the Games. Calling them useless and weak. When they began insulting her own kids, it took everything in Effie's power to hold her position and not ring their necks.

"That girl was a bit…loose with her kisses. Has she never heard of playing hard to get?"

"Look at where she's from. Not that being from coal country should excuse her promiscuity…"

'Promiscuity!' The word echoed through Effie's head. 'How dare they!'

"…but she should have had enough sense to keep him at arms length…for a little while at least. The way she behaved with him in that cave…"

'They could've died at any minute,' Effie wanted to scream at them. 'And you think she should've played hard to get with Peeta?'

"I heard they shared the same compartment on the train during the Victory Tour. That girl couldn't stay out of his bed."

"Oh, I would have never allowed that if they were my victors!"

Effie cringed at her fellow escort's unspoken accusations.

"At least the boy was polite." Effie heard the woman gasp. "We're almost out of it." Effie didn't know what 'it' was and she didn't care. She just wanted these women to leave.

"Don't worry darling, we can get more."

"I'm not sure when. Things have been taking so long to replace lately. It's as though we keep emptying the supplies and no one bothers to replenish them."

"Hmmm…" Effie closed her eyes as the women made more small talk and ate away at her time. She hoped they would leave before the show ended just so she could make it back to the City Center. She could always come back for the medication at a later date, but Katniss' mother needed the items now.

"I heard they're considering her for a position as a Gamemaker."

"A Gamemaker! Why she hasn't even been moved to a better district as an escort!"

"I know. I know, but someone somewhere is impressed with her recent performance during the Games and if Twelve does well in the Quell…I wouldn't be surprised if Effie Trinket was bumped all the way up to Gamemaker after that."

"Why that's just preposterous! She did no more for her tributes than we did!"

"Yes, darling, but both of hers are still alive and everyone knows that Abernathy was too inebriated to function on his own, so she must've helped him out. I know I saw her talking with sponsors left and right."

"Oh, I hate that woman. It wouldn't bother me so much if I actually believed she cared about her two victors, but you know it's all an act. Everyone knows it. She puts on such a face for the camera and the minute it's off she looks like she can't wait until they're out of her sight."

"Have you ever gotten attached to your tributes?"

"I would if one of them actually won." Both women laughed.

"I don't know why she doesn't care for them. Well…I can understand her apprehension towards the girl, she is a bit rough around the edges, but the boy is exceptionally well mannered."

"All I know is, if it were my victors getting married, I'd make sure I was on every television special talking about how wonderful they were, not avoiding the cameras and hiding out in the shadows. I'd never let the stylists hog all the camera time."

"Perhaps you'd like to be moved to Twelve when she's made a Gamemaker?" One woman laughed while the other gasped. "Then you can be around Katniss and Peeta all the time."

"Oh, stop that. I can't help it if I think they're sweet together. Okay, I'm a little put off by the girl at times, but you must admit…her bravado is admirable."

Effie watched their feet disappear and listened to the sound of their heels clicking as they walked away.

"Peeta is quite…"

Effie didn't know what they said about Peeta and she didn't care. She squeezed out from under her shelf and found her boxes which were untouched. She loaded them with the rest of the supplies she needed and stopped at the cosmetic area that her fellow escorts were so fond of. Effie pursed her lips and made one large motion with her arm sweeping the remaining supplies into the box. Effie mumbled to herself. "How dare you call Katniss promiscuous." She had taken much more than she should've from the medical bay but she was so damn angry with those women, she wanted to teach them a lesson. 'Of course, the rebellion would have no use for the items, but maybe Plutarch could fatten up his lips again,' Effie thought to herself as she ran towards her destination with her boxes of medications.

Effie made it back to the City Center with barely any time to spare, changed into her regular attire, got rid of the black eye liner that adorned her eyes and applied her traditional makeup as quickly as possible. She could hear the sound of applause floating through the air as she stepped off of the elevator and headed backstage. She gave her wig a little tug and stood proudly in the fold of a curtain as though she had been watching the entire interview between Caesar, Portia and Cinna then greeted the host when he stepped off of the main stage.

"Caesar, darling. You were wonderful!"

"Effie. When am I going to ha…Oh, my…" Effie wondered why he was staring at her with such a curious expression across his face. "Your lips, dear. Are we trying something new?"

Her lips! Effie had forgotten to take off the traditional black lipstick the Capitol servants wore and replace it with her own shade of green. "Yes I am," she answered brightly. "Doesn't it make me look…barbaric?" She asked with a wicked gleam in her eye.

"It does, darling," Caesar held his arm out to her and escorted her offstage. "Where did you ever get it? I love it!"

Portia jumped in, "I thought we'd use Effie as a bit of a trial run for a new look we've been thinking about here in the Capitol. You know…black goes so well with the gold in the mockingjay designs."

Caesar turned to Portia and Cinna and said, "You two never stop astonishing me with your creative musings."

Within a week, everywhere Effie looked people were wearing black lipstick and Katniss' gold mockingjay design had become more popular than ever.

…..

…..

Peeta lay with one arm wrapped around Katniss, his hand resting against the flat of her stomach while he held the other in front of him, moving his fingers about…examining the faint scars the whip had left behind. He spread his fingers and looked between them to see the line that had formed there after the medication Effie had sent him, healed it. The scarring there was the worst, but so was the injury he received. He glanced back down at a sleeping Katniss, grateful that she had stayed with him after the night they had shared and didn't try to run away from him. She was good at running away from her feelings. Even after all that they'd been through; she still kept so much of herself closed off from him. He saw through it all, but she still tried to hide her insecurities. He placed a kiss against her forehead and brushed the hair away from her eyes. He felt his index finger twitch and closed his hand in a fist. There were still times when he lost control of his fingers…his paintbrush would simply fall out of his grasp. Trying to retrain his hand was a lot harder than learning how to use his prosthetic leg. His leg had been attached to his nervous system…his muscles…it had become a part of him. His hand however, there was damage done to it, that Effie's medication wasn't able to repair. Damage done to his psyche that nothing would ever fix. Now along with nightmares of the arena in which he lost Katniss and couldn't fine her, he was filled with bad dreams of her being bludgeoned to death by a whip. Sometimes the new Head was dishing out the lashes, others it was President Snow himself. On the rare occasion, Peeta had nightmares about the whip coming down on him, but before it landed, he'd wake up covered in a cold sweat then he'd wait for the Peacekeepers to come and take him or Katniss away, but they never showed.

Peeta remembered the morning the medication had come and when he had finally agreed to use it. Prim had woken up and been sent to his house with them. She had to remove the stitches she had put in there only the day before and applied the cream deep into Peeta's wounds. He remembered screaming in pain a couple of times when Prim had to work on his hand, even though he tried not to, then he remembered sighing with relief when the cream touched his skin. How he wished Gale could've felt that way. The guilt still ate away at Peeta every time he looked at his hand or he'd see Gale heading to and from the mines. He had to keep his hand bandaged in public for weeks afterward, no one would understand how it recovered so quickly and when he and Katniss were at her house, her mother and Prim always spoke to him about it, pretended to look at it making comments about his recovery and how grateful they were that the feeling came back to his fingers so quickly. They were all getting quite good at play acting for the Capitol's listening pleasure. In the meantime, Katniss stayed with him for a short period of time, like they had suggested that very first night Peeta was hurt. They still spent plenty of time at Katniss' house, Peeta had been the one helping Gale move about, taking him to the restroom when he needed to, and keeping him company when he couldn't sleep at night, while Katniss slept on the sofa. And somehow over the course of that time period, Peeta believed Gale was slowly becoming his friend or at least a good acquaintance. The feeling might not have been mutual, but that didn't matter to Peeta. He saw a lot of the same qualities in Gale that he saw in Katniss, but one…Gale was missing the one thing that Katniss had in abundance, compassion. Gale had it for those he loved and was willing to fight in a war for people's rights to be free from the Capitol's power, but he lacked it for anyone other than those closest to him.

Late one night Gale had confessed to Peeta, "I never would've done what you did for me. If I had come upon someone being whipped in the square, I would've been like everyone else and minded my own business. About the only person I would've stepped in for would be Katniss…or my family."

"You mean you wouldn't have helped me out?" Peeta said it jokingly, but somewhere deep inside he wanted to know.

Gale hung his head down and said, "No." And left it at that. Peeta couldn't help but respect Gale for his honesty.

Peeta could feel Katniss stirring against him. "Hey," he grinned down at her and kissed her forehead. "You had a good night's sleep."

Katniss stretched her arms out above her head and flexed her toes. "Mmmmm…I swear, I haven't slept that good in years."

"Gee…I wonder why you slept so well," he gave her a catty smile.

"Shut up, Peeta," she tried to roll out of his arms, but he wasn't having it. She really didn't want to think about her actions last night. "Let me go."

"Not yet." He pulled her against his body and whispered to her. He knew she'd be feeling a little self conscious that morning after the night before, but he had to make her realize there was nothing to be ashamed of. "I love you, Katniss."

She buried her face against his neck and whispered back, "I know. I love you too."

"Then…you're okay?" He asked.

She was quiet for a few seconds then answered. "Yeah. I'm just a little…embarrassed." 'Which is saying something for you,' she thought to herself. 'I think you've been embarrassed about something you've done about three times in your life.'

"Why? You have nothing to be embarrassed about."

"The things I did…said…" Katniss pressed her face even deeper into him. "Oh, God, Peeta. How humiliating. I know I can get out of hand at times, but last night was…I mean…even for me…it was…"

"Katniss, look at me." Peeta put his hand on her face and tried to pull her out of her hiding spot. "Please?" He gently begged. When she lifted her eyes to his he said, "You can say anything…do anything in front of me and I'd still love you. While you were…screaming last night all I could think to myself was…God, I love this woman."

"You're crazy."

"Yes I am. Crazy about you," he kissed her.

Katniss sat up, put her head in her hands and thought back to the night before.

"Why are you playing with that damn thing?" She asked Peeta.

"I like the song." Peeta picked up the music box Effie had sent to Katniss and looked at it. There was nothing inside of it, but some gears and a little metal box, they had all searched it thoroughly thinking Effie might have sent something else in secret to them. They had finally concluded that it was just a music box. The note that came with it had stated it was an antique and hard to come by which is why it was so heavy. "The song's called Beautiful Dreamer."

"I don't know what that woman was thinking when she sent that thing to me. Neither one of us has beautiful dreams," Katniss quipped.

"Maybe she thought listening to the song might help us to have some," Peeta looked over his shoulder at Katniss as she sat on his bed and gave the crank on the music box a twist. He carried it over to the nightstand and set it down next to his phone. "It's pretty."

Katniss couldn't help but grin at him. "You're a sucker for beautiful things."

He pulled her into his arms and said, "You know it."

Their lips met instantly. Katniss had loved being with him at night. She didn't stay at his house every night, but when she did they had kept their physical contact chaste when it came to bedtime, at Peeta's insistence, so she was surprised he was kissing her with such gusto. "What happened to, 'I don't want to tempt myself, Katniss?'" She asked him against his lips.

"I can stop if you want me to," he said huskily.

She shook her head. "Don't." She trailed her hand down his face and let her fingers linger against his chin.

"I miss you, Katniss…miss being close to you like this."

"Me too," her lips found his once again in a passionate exploration of love.

In no time at all they were lying on their sides, their arms wrapped around each other's bodies, their legs entwined. Katniss let her knee travel up his thigh and rest against his hip. She could feel a stirring in her belly…a tightness. Everything in her wanted…craved more. She pushed him flat on his back and rolled herself on top of him, never breaking their kiss. She often wondered how he learned to perform the act of kissing so well, but was afraid to ask him for fear that his answer might send her into a tailspin. Katniss could feel his hands running up and down her back, over her hips and pulling her closer to him. She had never thought she'd be the aggressor when it came to physical contact, she knew where it could lead, however, since getting engaged to Peeta, things had become a little more heated between them, which was why he put their, no kissing in bed rule, into play. Katniss was thrilled that he had made an exception to it that night. It was a great way to end a good day.

Things in District Twelve had changed so much since Gale and Peeta's whipping. The mine shut down for two weeks, Hazelle was out of work…everyone was afraid to use her for their laundry services; food deliveries had become almost nonexistent. The only ones that weren't hurting were the victors of District Twelve. They never wanted for anything. Haymitch had mentioned to Effie in casual conversation that they were getting a bit low on basic items over the phone one day and the next day three crates were delivered full of food items for them. Since then all of their groceries were delivered via Effie Trinket. It made Katniss sick. The people of the district couldn't even rely on the Hob any longer now that the Peacekeepers burned it down. At times Katniss wondered what the Peacekeepers were eating. Her longtime customers were gone and replaced with new Peacekeepers. All of them seemed to be miniature replicas of the new Head, Thread and just as vicious. Katniss and Peeta had tried to give Hazelle as much as they could without being discovered. Haymitch had hired her as his new housekeeper, so it was easy to explain her daily visits, but it wouldn't be easy to explain where she got the food from that she carried home, so either Haymitch or Peeta walked her home. They always carried her bag, only handing it to her once she was safe within the confines of her home. Katniss had barely spoken to Gale since the incident in the square, but Peeta had. It was odd to Katniss that Peeta and Gale would have conversations, even basic ones, without arguing. Katniss had asked Peeta once if Gale talked about her, but he told her no and Katniss didn't think he was lying so she never asked again. Though Katniss and Peeta had taken daily walks through District Twelve, they had become pariahs to almost everyone but their closest friends and even they had to speak to them on the sly, with the exception of Madge, who was just as much of an outcast, being the Mayor's daughter. She came to visit Katniss and Peeta more often than not. Everything had become scarce in their district. Haymitch's liquor supply had been dwindling and Effie couldn't or wouldn't send more via the train. Ripper, the woman that made the white liquor Haymitch was so fond of, had been in the newly built stocks that were now stationed next to several other similar devices in the center of the square. Peeta had walked by her one day and whispered to her that he had checked on her son and the boy was doing alright. Katniss had no clue that Peeta went to the woman's home, where it was or that she even had a child, but she was grateful he had put the woman's mind at ease. The food that was available was limited. Even if a person did have money to buy something, there was usually nothing to buy. More and more beatings had taken place, none quite as severe as Gale's, but the endless supply of injured bodies at her doorstep, kept fresh the cruelty the Capitol was capable of inflicting upon people on a daily basis. The Games were no longer the only thing they worried about. Now people worried whether or not they'd live to make it through a day. More and more kids signed up for the tesserae including Gale's brother Rory, but were turned away empty handed. That day was the last time Katniss had heard from Gale all together. She knew it was because he was ashamed he could no longer provide for his family, the woods were strictly off limits, even Katniss wasn't willing to tempt fate. But today…today was the day. It was Parcel Day. The packages were delivered two weeks later than normal, but they had finally arrived. Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch decided to stay home, away from the crowds, to prevent any unwanted trouble or displays from the Peacekeepers. The entire day Katniss felt a sense of relief knowing that the one good thing the Games did for her district was provide much needed food and oil. So that night, when Peeta took her in his arms she knew why he was willing to forgo his no kissing in bed rule. His need to be close to her was just as great as hers was to be close to him.

Katniss sat up, straddled Peeta's lap and took her hair out of her braid, never breaking eye contact with him. She relished the look of love he had in his eyes when he gazed up at her. When her tresses were flowing freely around her shoulders he ran his fingers through her hair and pulled her back down to his eager mouth. She could feel his heart pounding against her chest, hear his jagged breathing. Her fingers began to roam around his stomach; she slid her hands underneath his pajama shirt and rested her palms against his muscular belly. The sound of his throaty moan was enough to drive her wild with desire. "Peeta," she breathed against his lips. She had never wanted to feel his hands on her as much as she did in that very minute. Her hand shot out from under his shirt and gripped his. She pulled it down to her waist and slid it under her shirt so she could feel him touching her the same way she was touching him.

"Katniss," he pulled his lips away from hers, but she refused to stop kissing him. "We should stop this befo…" His arms gripped her around the waist and pulled her into him then his hands trailed up her bare back and Katniss was sure she was about to explode with desire. She threw her head back and let out a breath of air.

The sound of the phone ringing left both of them panting and staring at the other as if in shock. Katniss rolled off of Peeta and answered it. She didn't want to, but with all of the injured people showing up at her house lately, she didn't dare ignore the call. "He…" she cleared her throat. "Hello?"

"Hey, sweetheart."

"Haymitch." Katniss wanted to kill the man. "What do you want?"

"Talked to Gale tonight?" Haymitch asked.

"No. Why?" Her words were clipped.

"Just wondering." Haymitch paused before asking, "Is the boy around?"

Katniss looked at Peeta who was lying with one arm over his eyes and the other against his stomach. "Yeah, he's here." She held the phone out to Peeta and gave him a nudge. "It's Haymitch."

Peeta took the phone from Katniss without lifting his arm from his eyes.

On one hand she was pissed as hell that Haymitch had called, but on the other hand she was grateful. Regret instantly flooded through her for her actions. She sat on the edge of the bed chastising herself for the way she had behaved with Peeta only seconds ago. 'You're not married to him yet. And when you are married? Then what, Katniss? Are you ready for this? No. Yes! I have no clue. God, yes. No. Shut up. Oh, great, now you're fighting with yourself.' She put her hands over her head and let it hang down before thinking, 'You love him. You've got two months until your married so get yourself together and stop acting like a child. If you think moments like these aren't going to happen in the next couple of months, you're fooling yourself.' She stood up and padded to the bathroom. When she looked in the mirror she didn't recognize the wild eyed look she was still carrying, the frenzied hair, the flushed cheeks…chest, her swollen lips… "Great. I'm a harlot," she sniffed out a breath before splashing some cold water on her face. She walked back into the bedroom to see Peeta sitting on the edge of the bed. She had decided to face the situation head on and not hide behind her insecurities. "Okay, we need to go back to the no kissing in bed rule because I don't think either one of us…" Peeta had a serious expression on his face and Katniss didn't' think it had anything to do with what had just happened between them. "Peeta? Is everything all right?"

"Sit down, Katniss."

"I don't want to sit down." She stared at Peeta trying to think of what could've happened in the past few minutes. He had talked to Haymitch, who had asked Katniss if she had spoken to Gale. "Oh, my God. Is Gale okay?" She ran to Peeta. "Did something happen to him?"

"No…I mean yes. He's fine…sort of." Peeta gulped.

"Then what is it?" Katniss could feel her nerves unraveling.

"The parcels that were delivered today…"

"What about them?" Katniss knew how many people were depending on those packages. Those packages could save the lives of many starving children in their district. Katniss feared the worst. "They came, didn't they?"

"Yes, they came." Peeta held onto her hands. "But they were spoiled and what wasn't rotten had been infested by rodents."

Katniss began shaking her head. "No. No. That's not possible." She began to pace back and forth around the room. "We were told our district would get those each month if we won the Games."

Peeta stood up and sighed. "Did you really think they'd keep their word?"

Anger…fury…downright rage filled her. "Then we'll call them. Complain," she held up the phone to Peeta. "What's Effie's number?"

Peeta took the receiver from her hand and said, "Even Effie can't help with this one, Katniss. She's doing the best she can."

"The best she can? The best she can?" Katniss screamed at the top of her lungs. "Well, her best isn't good enough! You don't see her going hungry…getting whipped! That woman is sitting in her luxurious Capitol home surrounded by her stuck up Capitol friends puking for shits and giggles while people out here are starving to death! Effie Trinket's best sucks!"

"Katniss, Effie sends us what she can. That woman could get in a lot of trouble for the things she's done. Those…gifts she sent to us after Gale got hurt…" Peeta defended their escort, but Katniss didn't want to hear it.

"Screw Effie Trinket and her stupid gifts!" Katniss picked up the music box that was sitting on the nightstand and hurled it across the room and into the wall. The sound of warped music echoed through the room. "That woman has done nothing for us since then!"

"What do you expect her to do?" Peeta turned his head and looked at the shattered pieces of the box. "What has anyone fr…" he walked over to the debris and carefully stepped around it. "What is that?"

"What is what?" Katniss yelled at him.

"That?" Peeta was pointing to something on the floor.

"It's what I think about my gift from Effie!" Katniss found this to be quite humorous and let out an evil laugh, hoping that somehow the woman could hear it thousands of miles away.

Peeta began searching the room with his eyes, "Where are my slippers?"

"Who gives a shit?" Katniss screamed. "People are starving and all you care about are whether or not your feet are warm? You're just as bad as Effie. No wonder you two get along so well."

"I don't want to cut my feet." Peeta lifted the corner of his mouth in a grin and said, "I should've known…I really should've known better."

Katniss didn't understand any of Peeta's cryptic comments. "You should've known better than to get involved with her. She's shallow…self serving…" Katniss was pacing around the room like a chicken with its head cut off. "…oh and the wigs…seriously Peeta, you should say something to that woman about her attire. Does she really think the giant, orange cotton ball sitting on top of her head is attractive?" Peeta was digging something out of the pile of rubble.

"SHUT UP!" Peeta shouted at her. "Please, Katniss." His voice was softer now. "Just shut up," his eyes were pleading with her as he sat on the edge of the bed.

"Why?" She was ready, willing and able to fight. Hell, after everything that had been happening in their district and her feelings of helplessness, she was welcoming an argument.

"Because we won't be able to hear what Effie sent to us in your music box if you don't be quiet."

Katniss froze at Peeta's words. She looked at what he was holding in his fingers and thought it seemed familiar. "What is that?" She snapped at him, not ready to let go of her testiness.

"It's a music chip. Well, it's normally used for music, but I don't think that's what's on here," Peeta answered. "So sit down and let's listen."

Katniss reluctantly dragged herself to the end of the bed and sat next to Peeta. He pushed a button and the familiar Capitol accent filled their ears.

"Hello darling ones. If you're listening to this than Katniss has in fact lived up to my expectations of her. Bravo, Katniss!" Peeta smiled and Katniss dropped her jaw. "I do hope this finds you well…I'm sure you understand my meaning." Peeta wiggled his healed fingers in the air. "Seeing as this is the first time I'm trying something like this, I think I shall keep it simple. We are all missing you around here, but memories of you are being kept afresh in everyone's minds on a daily basis. Katniss your pin is still the highlight of Capitol fashion." Katniss knew Effie was telling her that President Snow was still being reminded of her. "I shall now get to the point. You might be wondering where I thought of the idea for this. It was a combination of thoughts. Peeta you remember our conversation about the piece of furniture I own with the compartment and the comparison you made to your school project. Well…voila! Here we are. Now we can communicate with ease. Alas, I feel we should still try to keep our conversations brief and light. Who knows what ships loose lips might sink. I expect to hear from you soon." Peeta laughed and Katniss furrowed her brow wondering what the hell Effie was talking about. "Please tell me if there's anything you or your family needs, Katniss. Peeta, your art supplies will be there shortly, though I'm sure you won't be feeling up to painting for awhile with your injured hand. Make sure to keep it covered at all times dear one. We wouldn't want you to get an infection. Oh, these little recording devices are something aren't they? All you have to do is hold the button down for ten seconds and it erases everything. Twenty seconds and you can record your own message. Remarkable! Give Haymitch my best…if he's sober. Toodle ooh!"

"Effie Trinket, you are absolutely brilliant!" Peeta grasped Katniss' cheeks in his hands and gave her a smack on the lips. "We've got to get to work. I was wondering why she kept sending me so much sugar…Geez…" Peeta was racing down the stairs and for the kitchen. "Come on, Katniss!" He called to her.

She followed on Peeta's heels. "What are we doing?"

"Making candy."

"Candy?" Katniss asked.

"Yup. Lollipops…though I'd like to name them…Capitol suckers." Peeta began taking items out of his pantry. "Man that woman…I can't believe she remembered that."

"What did she remember?" Katniss felt like she missed half of the message Effie had sent. "I didn't really get what she was saying during some of that."

Peeta stopped what he was doing and told her, "Remember in fifth grade there was that contest for the Harvest Festival? They do it every year for the fifth graders. Prim's probably entered it. You know what I'm talking about, right?"

"No," Katniss had absolutely no clue what he was talking about.

"You don't remember that picture you were handed during the mayor's dinner? It was a little poster?"

"Nope. The only thing I remember about that dinner was what I saw on television that night."

Peeta conceded to her. "Okay…good point. Well there's…God, Katniss. Didn't you ever pay attention in school?"

"Why bother? It's not like I had an actual future outside of coal mining," she answered.

"Okay…the school holds this contest each year for the Harvest Festival. It's pretty much the only time I've ever been encouraged by my mother to do something creative. Each kid and their immediate family have a chance to win a dinner with the mayor." Peeta gave Katniss a questioning stare. "Madge never told you about the kids that went to her house?"

"Nope. Keep going."

"Anyway, you needed to think of a creative way to end the Harvest Festival by congratulating the victor of the Hunger Games. Now every year kids would draw pictures…make signs…stuff like that…some wrote poems…sang songs…"

"Let me guess, you painted a picture of them slaughtering their last tribute?"

"Nope. Everybody was going to be doing something like that, so I thought I'd use my other skill."

"You baked the victor a cake?"

"I can make more than just cakes, Miss. Everdeen." Peeta said with a smug expression across his face. "I can also make candy. Hard candy."

"Whoop-dee-doo," Katniss crossed her arms and said. "I'm tired Peeta and not in the mood for candy." Even though they had gotten a message from Effie, Katniss was still upset with the events that had taken place that day.

"Katniss, you're not letting me finish my story. God, you're impatient." Peeta began pulling out pots and racks she had never seen before. "I made the victor a lollipop and when it was eaten, in the center of it was a piece of paper that said congratulations on your victory."

"I'm guessing you lost," Katniss said dryly.

Peeta glared at her and said, "That's beside the point."

"So what is the point?"

"The point, my dear girl, is…" he held up the tiny recording device in his hand and finished. "…what the Capitol can't see…"

"Oh." The light went off in Katniss' head. "Oh! Peeta, we can tell Effie what we need now. Like…what we really need and not just hint over the phone. We can tell them what's going on out here and maybe they can help or…or…Oh, my God! Effie Trinket is brilliant!"

They had worked until the wee hours of the morning trying to perfect several trial batches of candy. Well, Peeta made candy and Katniss critiqued it. It was important for it to be dark enough to hold the little chip, but not so dark that it would cause suspicion. Plus it had to taste good on the off chance that someone popped one in their mouth. When they were satisfied with their results Peeta and Katniss tested the device. They made a couple of recordings, hid it in the candy then smashed it open. The device withstood all of it. They had decided to tell Haymitch about it the next day and then they'd make a recording for Effie and send it off. By the time Katniss and Peeta went up to bed they were beat.

Katniss saw the remnants of Effie's gift to her, strewn about the floor. "She knew I'd destroy it," she said quietly to Peeta. "Am I that bad, Peeta?"

"No, Katniss. Effie just knows you'd hate something like that. I think that's why she sent it." He ran his hand down her hair. "I knew there was something off about her gift to you. Especially the title of the song, Beautiful Dreamer."

Katniss could feel the tears burning in the back of her nose and her throat closing up. "I said such horrible things about her."

"You didn't mean them, Katniss."

"She saved your hand, Peeta. If she hadn't sent that medication, you would never be able to do the things you did tonight…never be able to paint…I was so horrible to her…said such mean things about her…" Katniss began crying and though she tried to stop, she couldn't. While she and Peeta were washing pieces of candy down the drain earlier, they couldn't exactly give it away to people without them asking why they were made, children…their own neighbors, were starving to death and instead of blaming the Capitol, Katniss had taken it out on Effie, their greatest ally in the Capitol. Katniss didn't know how long she had spent shedding tears. Peeta hadn't tried to stop them either. He simply lifted her up and held her in his lap allowing her to cleanse herself of the events that had taken place since they had won the Games. At one point her body had been jerking, almost convulsing from the force of her cries. She began yelling out and screaming, "I hate that bastard, Snow! Hate him! I want him dead!" Then she'd start crying again. Her outbursts between sobs happened over and over again until finally Peeta placed her head on his pillow. She felt the warm washcloth against her face, heard him squeezing out the cloth in a basin full of water next to her, and then begin wiping her neck, her hands. He disappeared then came back to her and took off her shirt, then pants and put a fresh nightshirt on her, never once dropping his eyes from her own. He gathered her clothes and dumped them in a corner with his then changed and joined her in bed.

Peeta took her in his arms and whispered to her. "You've had a long night. Sleep, Katniss. We'll clean up tomorrow."

Katniss peeked out from beneath her hair and saw the mess on the floor. "Ugh! Look at that."

"You look at it…better yet, go get the broom and dustpan and clean that crap up, because I'm not going to do it."

"What am I going to say to Effie?" Katniss looked at the shattered pieces of the music box her escort had sent to her as a gift. "You know she'll want to know what prompted the destruction of that wretched thing."

"You're going to have to explain your little tantrum." Katniss glared at him over her shoulder. "Okay," Peeta corrected himself, "Big tantrum. Huge…gigantic…enormous tantrum."

"All right. That's enough out of you." She smiled at him amazed at how easily he could make her face her daemons and literally laugh at herself. "You better go and wake Haymitch."

Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch spent the day preparing Effie's gift even though the package was addressed to Cinna and Portia. There were a dozen hard candies and a dozen soft ones as well as a batch of cookies Peeta had made. The letter they had sent was a simple thank you note for working so hard on their wedding attire. When they brought it to the train to be delivered, sure enough a Peacekeeper took a random piece of each treat and ate it to "check for authenticity." Katniss didn't know what Effie could do about the circumstances they were facing; all she knew was that the woman was nothing if not resourceful.

Dinner was eaten as it usually was Katniss, her family, Peeta and Haymitch around Katniss' kitchen table. Haymitch offered to clean the kitchen volunteering Katniss as his aid, much to her dismay. As they dried the last of the plates, Haymitch pulled her to the side and slipped something in her hand.

"What's this?" She asked.

"It's a gift," he whispered softly. "Thought you might want to give it to the boy."

Katniss lifted the heavy gold trinket in the palm of her hand and looked down at it. "This is lovely. Where did you get it?"

"It was my grandfather's," Haymitch didn't go into any other details, but he didn't have to. Katniss could tell from what was engraved in the gold exactly where the locket came from and that it had a matching pin to go with it…a mockingjay pin his grandmother wore.

That night when Katniss went to bed, she slept at her own house. She needed to think some things through and she couldn't do it lying next to Peeta. The piece of jewelry Haymitch had given to her left her with questions and it was time to come up with some answers. She got up, dug through her drawer, taking out the carefully wrapped locket and picked up her mockingjay pin. She studied the locket, tried to open it, but it wouldn't budge. She placed both items in the palm of her hand and pressed them together, feeling the warmth of the gold heat up against her skin. That's when she saw it…the significance the two pieces of jewelry held. Alone they were beautiful. Together, they were one.

Katniss went back to bed with the image of the locket and pin seared into her head. She tossed and turned allowing her mind access to the most intimate details of her relationship with Peeta. Scrutinizing it bit by bit. She even revisited her and Gale's kiss, wondering if she could remember the feel of his lips or if the only thing she could recall was how wrong the kiss had felt. Giving Peeta the locket wouldn't just be taken as a nice gesture on her part and she knew it. They'd both know it. Haymitch had most certainly known it when he gave her his grandfather's token.

Katniss hadn't meant to pull away from Peeta over the course of the next few days, but she had. He continually asked her what was wrong, to which she'd give him a peck on the cheek and a standard, "nothing," but everything was wrong. Katniss found herself at that point in her life where she had to come to terms with her own emotional insecurities.

One morning she woke before dawn and headed for the one place that was strictly forbidden now, even more so than before. She hadn't dreamt of her father in months, but he had been invading her dreams for almost a week straight. Something inside of her yearned to say goodbye to her and her father's special place. It was there, she knew, she could find the answers to the questions that had been plaguing her. As she made her trek through the forest she took in everything around her, the sounds…scents, storing it in a memory bank, knowing in the depths of her heart that she'd never return to this place again. She patted her bow and arrows several times, wishing she could take them with her when she left the woods, hating that she'd have to leave them…such an intricate part of her life behind. The closer she got to her destination the more she missed her father…the more she feared the answers to her questions. She had expected to see the little abandoned cottage next to the lake; she had planned to lunch there. What she hadn't expected to find was a Peacekeeper holding an image of her mockingjay staring back at her.