Chapter 10

Fenris sat in the garden, the recent events wearing him out. He watched Isabella and Varric arguing with the noble´s who wanted to elect a new prince because Sebastian wasn´t well, and they feared he wasn´t going to wake up, that made him angry and terrified. He didn´t want to think about Sebastian dead; that would surely mean the end of him and Isabella, and Hawke. Fenris looked at the garden noticing that lavender was planted all across the garden. He knew Sebastian was in love with her, but he also knew that Sebastian was a man of faith, and so he understood him why he couldn´t break his vows, even for her. He was all the way with him as he watched his best friend change, from Chantry brother to prince of Starkhaven, yet he never gave up. He always found a new source of strength, but he hadn´t tell anyone what Sebastian told him one night, as they camped near the border to Starkhaven. Isabella was sleeping and Sebastian was keeping watch, Fenris couldn´t sleep so he joined him outside. They were talking and for the first time Sebastian laughed at the mention of Hawke. Then Sebastian narrowed his eyes as he looked in the mug in his hand.

"Fenris? May I trust you with something?" Fenris readjusted and looked up at Sebastian, noticing his determined look.

"Of course, my friend." Sebastian smiled as he lifted his head to look at Fenris.

"When I lived with my parents, I wanted to become the ruler of Starkhaven, thinking that I would rule better then my father, and now I am on my way to become prince, yet I lost all will to become prince." Fenris looked at him confused, quirking up an eyebrow.

"But why are we here then?" Sebastian looked back into the contents of his mug.

"When I become prince, I will have the means to look for her." Fenris nodded in response, understanding him completely.

"Then, when I find her, I will marry her." Fenris looked at the prince surprised by his statement.

"So she is the only reason why you take back your throne?" Sebastian looked back at him.

"Aye. Only with her, I will endure this life settled between vipers. Thinking about it, I have never told her how I feel about her." Sebastian darted his eyes back to his empty mug, then Fenris cleared his throat before he asked.

"Do you regret that?" Sebastian gave him a sad smile as he looked at Fenris.

"Aye. Every day more and more…" Fenris stood up from the bench and stretched before he took a walk through the garden. Fenris was in deep thoughts of recent events; he partially understood Varric in why to keep the incident on Hawke a secret, but Sebastian wasn´t a fool, the scars were still on her face and they would not heal very quickly. Fenris stopped and decided to go to Sebastian, he hadn´t seen him since he fell into coma, he just hadn´t the strength. He turned and walked slowly towards the main hall and then he took the stairs to the second floor. He walked slowly, before he came in front of Sebastian`s door and stood still for a few moments, inhaling deeply, before he slowly opened the door. He peeked through the little gap and saw that no one was here; Sebastian was alone. He slowly entered the room and closed the door behind him, before he turned and walked towards the bed. His breathing sped up as he saw Sebastian lying on the bed, as if he is sleeping, like nothing is wrong with him. He lost weight, his cheekbones now stirring more than before, his body was pale and a beard almost covered his entire jaw. Fenris came closer to the bed, standing near the edge of bed. He looked at the lifeless figure that once was such a strong and determined person, now hearing only his deep and even breathing. Fenris shook his head as he felt a lone tear going down his cheek, and suddenly he couldn´t banish the cruel thoughts in his mind. What if he never wakes up again or what if he dies? Fenris realized more tears flowing down his cheeks, and for the first time in his life he started to pray to the Maker and he started to tremble. He closed his eyes to concentrate on praying but then a weird sound startled him. He opened his eyes and looked around, but saw nothing. As he returned to the prayer he heard the same sound again, and his heart hammered wildly in his chest as he saw Sebastian narrowing his eyebrows. Fenris leaned in closer as he heard the same sound again and knew that Sebastian wanted to speak to him.

"Sebastian?" Fenris asked in a whisper, but no answer came from him, only the stuttering sound again. Then all was silent and Fenris feared that it was nothing, but then he made the same sound again as his brows furrowed together.

"Sebastian!?" Fenris asked a little louder, his heart hammering wildly in his chest as he started to sweat. Maker is he..? Then Fenris noticed that his breathing changed, it was faster now and he could see his eyelids move very slowly. Fenris was scared, scared that this was nothing but his nerves playing, but he hopped that the prince would wake up. Time stopped as Fenris waited for something, anything. Then he saw it; he saw his eyes slowly opening, and Fenris was overjoyed.

"SEBASTIAN?!" He said louder this time, he was sure that even the guards outside have heard him. Fenris watched Sebastian as he slowly opened his eyes, breathing out ragged breaths, Fenris had to smile at the sight. Sebastian didn´t opened his eyes completely, but enough so Fenris could see that he watched him.

"Fenris...?" He said his voice a mere whisper. Fenris was smiling, even laughing as he came closer to the prince.

"Yes my friend?"

"Where is… everyone..?" His voice was still low but Fenris could hear him as Sebastian´s eyes opened almost completely.

"Everyone is out doing your business." Fenris joked around a little and saw Sebastian smiling. A stone fell from his heart.

"I am… sorry…" Fenris interrupted him.

"There is nothing to feel sorry for. Henry!" Fenris screamed as hard as he could before Henry stormed in the room.

"Yes, my Lord?"

"Tell everyone that Prince Sebastian Vael has awoken!" Henry blinked a few times not realizing Fenris´ words, before he smiled and cried.

"Immediately!" Was all he said before he left the room. A few moments later the healer arrived to inspect him, his smile never leaving his face. He used his power to look at his heart and brain, to see if there is any critical damage done. The healer smiled as he stood up and nodded.

"There is no critical damage, Your Highness. Enough food and rest will bring back Your balance and strength." Then the healer bowed but before he left, he spoke.

"I am very glad that You are well, Your Highness." Then he left the room. Sebastian used a little strength that the healer gave him to readjust himself on the bed. Fenris helped him holding the pillow behind him so he could lean on them. He took a deep breath and sighed before he spoke.

"Where is everyone?" Then Isabella and Varric stormed into the room. Isabella was crying and Varric had a hard time to suppress the tears. Isabella sat down next to him before she hugged him.

"Isabella he just recently awoke! Don´t choke the poor man!" Fenris growled at her as she broke the hug and she couldn´t help but smile.

"I know but I am so glad. Thank the Maker that you´re back with us." Sebastian smiled at Isabella and looked over to Varric.

"Choir boy, you really scared the shit out of us." He sad as Varric gently patted his shoulder.

"I am sorry for worrying you so much." He looked around the room and knew one person is missing.

"Where is Marian?" Then all went silent. Isabella grew nervous as she looked at Fenris who looked at her with angry eyes. Isabella then looked at Varric and he shook his head, telling her to lie, for now.

"She is sleeping and I didn´t wanted to wake her up." Sebastian smiled at that. Isabella looked at Varric and he nodded in approval.

"Good, then I have time to eat something and to clean myself…" Sebastian rubbed his jaw, feeling the beard on his face.

"Choir boy, you´re our best friend, but you smell like shit." Then everyone laughed as a servant came in with a big plate full with food. The servant placed the plate on his bed, smiling and crying at the same time. She bowed and left the room, outside they heard her sing a song in joy and they all laughed. He took the plate and started to eat, his stomach growling loud.

"So, how long am I unconscious?" Varric sighed before Isabella answered.

"Four weeks. The nobles wanted to elect a new prince but we didn´t let them." Sebastian´s eyes widened.

"FOUR WEEKS? Makers breathe what about the politics?" Varric reassured him.

"Don´t worry Choir boy, Isabella and I have done the dirty job. Everything is fine, the only thing you need to do is step out to the crowd and show them you're healthy. And by the way, happy missed birthday." All of them laughed and Sebastian said a `thank you´ with his full mouth. He ate up the food very fast and looked out of the window, his face growing sad.

"Marian didn´t tried to leave, did she?" Isabella grew serious.

"No, she slept next to you every night, and even prayed to the Maker." Sebastian looked at Isabella, his face becoming serious.

"Is she alright?" Isabella looked at Varric and Varric answered to him.

"She was not alright, but now when she see´s you, she will be." Sebastian tried to get up but his legs gave away. Varric and Fenris held him under his arms as his legs slowly started to regain their strength. Two servants entered the room with four buckets full with steaming hot water.

"Now if you´ll excuse me, my friends, I have to clean myself." All of them went out of his room, happy and content. The servants mixed the water for him and left, before he undressed himself and entered the bathtub. His bathtub was large and he could easily lie down, drowning his face down in the water before he resurfaced. He cleaned his hair with the soap that was on his bathtub and he smiled at the scent.

"Lavender… Hawke must have left it." He remembered the time when she was lying naked in his bathtub, feeling the desire boiling up inside of him.

"Marian… I am so eager to see you…" He took his time with the bathing because he really smelled ugly. He took the towel and went out to dry himself before he went to the mirror to shave. After a few moments, he was shaved, clean and dressed, before he took his leave out of his room. The guards all bowed in respect, telling him that they missed him and sending good health wishes. He walked towards Hawke´s room as a large man got in his way. It was Marcus, and his grin was so wide that Sebastian thought his face would explode.

"Come here, you freaking lad!" Marcus hugged Sebastian and lifted him from his feet. Marcus was two heads taller than Sebastian and twice as big as him so he could easily lift him. Sebastian laughed before he patted Marcus´ back.

"It´s good to see you Marcus!" Then Marcus put him back on his feet.

"You too, lad. You scare´ the shi´ out of everyone, lad. But I am very glad you´re back with us." Marcus hugged him again.

"So where you heading to?" Marcus asked him as they started to walk together.

"To Marian, I have missed her." Marcus´ face grew tense at the mention of her name, but he swiftly replaced his worry with a smile on his face as he patted Sebastian´s shoulder.

"See you later then lad. I am happy you´re with us again." Then Marcus left him and Sebastian was on his way again, but he couldn´t lose the feeling that something was wrong. His heart hammered in his chest wildly as he came closer to his goal. He missed her so much and he had promised her family that he would take care of her. Then he saw her door and his world turned over. He felt happy and he couldn´t suppress the smile on his face. He paced the last steppes; soon he stood in front of her door, his body shaking with desire. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before he lifted his hand to knock. He waited a few moments, but no one answered, so he knocked again and again no one answered. Sebastian became nervous and he decided to open the door. Marian lowered her head towards the floor and bowed and Sebastian immediately noticed the scarf covering her face but this time her hair was not covered. He smiled as he came closer to her, hugging her hard.

"My Marian." Then he broke the hug to look into her eyes, but she avoided him. Something was definitely wrong. She looked at the ground and Sebastian felt her body tremble.

"Marian? What´s wrong, why are you covering your face again?" He asked her with a low but sweet tone in his voice as he noticed a tear flowing down her eye. He quickly chased it away with his thumb and saw the buttons to remove the scarf near her ear. He raised his hand to remove the scarf but her hands stopped him and she sobbed out loud, not able to suppress the tears anymore.

"Please don´t. I am ugly and I don´t want you to see me like this!" She cried out loud and Sebastian was confused, looking at her with narrowed wide eyes and his mouth open a little.

"What are you talking about? You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen." She shook her head, still crying.

"No, not anymore. Please just let me stay like this..." Sebastian felt unwell but he kept pushing her.

"Marian, remove the scarf." She shook her head as more tears started to flow. He raised his hand again, but this time she had no strength to fight him anymore. Her sobs became much louder as he slowly loosened the button that held the scarf. Then he took the end of the scarf and slowly started to remove it, exposing her face to him. As the scarf fell to the side horror overwhelmed him at the sight of her ruined face. He looked at her with wide and angry eyes, his body trembling with rage that was not directed at her. She then looked into his eyes before she spoke.

"You see how ugly I am?! You see why I wear the scarf!?" Then she fell to the ground but Sebastian caught her, hugging her hard to him as he, too, trembled.

"Marian, love, who did this to you!?" He asked her with a shaky but low voice, not able to hide the anger in his voice. Hawke trembled in his arms as they stood, wrapped in each other's hugs.

"I don´t remember, the pain was too high." Hawke didn´t lie, she really couldn´t remember who had done this to her. Sebastian cupped her chin with his thumb and forced her to look at him.

"Marian, love, you are not ugly, I still love you and I will always love you..." Then he kissed her, the anger boiling up inside him more and more. He looked at her and she calmed herself.

"I am ugly... I am a freak..." Then he grabbed her shoulders and shook her a little, her eyes wide with fear.

"Don´t say that. You will always be in my heart." He smiled at her as she smiled back before she hugged him.

"I am so glad you are awake... I missed you so much." Then Hawke noticed that his smell has changed. It was not sweat and incense anymore.

"You smell of lavender?" She asked him as she left his hug to look into his eyes, and he had to smile at her.

"Your soap. You left it after you bathed last time in my bathtub." Then he dragged her back into his hug and kissed her passionately, tasting her as his tongue explored her mouth. He broke the kiss as both gasped for air, looking into her eyes and studying her ruined face.

"I missed you so much, leannan..." Hawke´s eyes widened and she smiled, confused.

"What does that mean?" Sebastian smiled back at her.

"It means my love." Hawke enjoyed his touch and warmth. She was happy that he has returned.

"Sebastian, I am so sorry..." But he cut her off.

"Later, leannan. I have to go and talk to our friends first. Meanwhile you can think of a...suitable excuse." He said to her as he grabbed her ass causing her to jump and laugh. He gave her a kiss and before he left he turned to her.

"Whoever did this, will pay. That I promise to you." He left her room, closing the door behind him. He stood there, his mind screaming at him and his body trembling with anger before he made his way to his study. He knew they were there, and he knew they would answer to him.

"We´re screwed." Varric said to Isabella and Fenris as they entered Sebastian´s study, knowing he would search for them. All of them knew that when Sebastian sees Hawke´s face he would storm back to them. Isabella sat in the chair across the fireplace, crossing her legs and worry written on her face.

"Well, we deserve to be scolded. We couldn´t even protect her; we´re useless." Isabella said as she shook her head.

"We have to tell him the truth." Varric nodded in response.

"I know broody. But he will be furious, you know that."

"We´ll be glad if he chops off our heads right now." Isabella said as she stood up, looking out of the window. Everyone was silent as time passed by, all of them nervous. They paced the study up and down, nervously awaiting Sebastian as suddenly the door fell open with a slam. Sebastian entered hastily the study, pacing towards his desk and ignoring them before he spoke.

"Close the door and tell the guards to leave Fenris. And lock it." Sebastian stood and leaned his arms on the desk, his head hanging down and his eyes closed. Fenris glanced at Varric and Isabella before he turned telling the guards to leave the study. He closed the door and locked it, now they were left alone with him. He was silent for a few moments before he spoke in a low voice, his brogue thick and his hands shaking.

"I want names. All of them..." They looked at each other, tension filling the air of the study. All of them were silent, nobody dared to speak to him. Then Sebastian lifted his head to look at them; Isabella averted her eyes at her feet, Varric was looking at the ground and Fenris was looking at the desk. It was then when Sebastian lost control.

"ARE YOU DEAF?! I WANT NAMES, EVERY SINGLE FUCKING NAME!" Now they were even more scared of him because Sebastian only swore if he was really pissed off. And now he was really pissed off. Isabella took the courage and spoke to him.

"Look, we can give you names but they are not proof enough!" Then Sebastian came very close to her screaming in her face.

"I will decide if they are proof enough! Is it Melinda?!" He asked Isabella and she just nodded in response. Sebastian turned away from her and tossed away everything from his desk with one swift move; paper fell to the ground, ink spilled on the floor, the candle broke on impact. He then roared and flipped the desk over, breaking it in two parts. Fenris walked near him and screamed at him.

"Sebastian calm yourself!" But the prince didn´t heed him as he took his chair from the writing desk and smashed it on the ground, causing the chair to fall to pieces. Fenris approached him but Sebastian shot him an angry glare as he stood, his breathing fast and uneven. He fell to the ground touching his forehead with his hand as he sat near a pile of destroyed wood. Isabella was staring at Fenris and Varric did the same, looking at Sebastian and then at Fenris with eyes wide with fear, before Varric cleared his throat to speak.

"We think it´s her." Then Sebastian broke into laughter.

"Of course it´s her, that crazy bitch! Oh she will pay for that..." Then he stood up and walked towards the door. He unlocked it and called for the guards, as they arrived they looked at Sebastian and at the mess in the room with fear written in their faces.

"Yes, my lord?" The guard asked him with a shaky voice.

"Tell the other guards to bring Melinda here. She is a suspect." The other guard cleared his throat before he spoke.

"Suspect of what, sire?" Sebastian looked at him with wide and angry eyes and the guards immediately bowed and left. Sebastian took a deep breath before he turned and spoke to them with a calm voice.

"Varric, I want your story telling skills to invent a story for the nobles. I don´t want any trouble with them." Then he left the study as two servants came in and started to clean the mess he created. Isabella ran out of the room soon followed by Varric, both glad that they are still alive. Fenris just stood there looking at the pile of broken furniture that his friend created. Then he shook his head and decided to go after Sebastian, he knew where he would find him.