Serena watched as Bernie left the room, collapsing emotionally exhausted against the wall. By this point, Serena who had already shed a few tears, burst into violent sobs. She didn't care if anyone heard her. She couldn't care less if the patients up on Darwin could hear her. She'd lost the love of her life, the breath in her lungs, the one person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And it was her own stupid fault. She wished she'd never let Caroline into her home; wished she'd never got drunk, but most of all, she wished she'd never had sex with her.
Serena got up off the floor and sank behind her desk. She cradled her forehead in her palms, allowing her tears to fall onto the spotless desk. Allowing herself to let all the emotions out, Serena stayed put, just crying her eyes out until she felt she could cry no more. Very quickly, Serena began to feel light-headed. Groaning, Serena realised what was about to happen. She felt herself lose control of her own body. She began to panic, her head feeling even lighter, and chest tightening painfully. Whimpering, Serena tried to curl up in the foetal position, but found her body uncooperative. Scared and unable to move, Serena began to cry so much harder than before. Frantically trying to remember what to do in case of a panic attack, Serena tried to breathe through the pain. Slowly but surely, her head stopped being so light and her chest began to loosen, allowing her to breathe properly again. Reaching for her bag, Serena rummaged, searching for her Xanax. She hadn't had to use this in years, but she knew that she wouldn't be able to calm down without it. The pills felt alien in her hand after so long of not needing them. Quickly swallowing two down, Serena took another deep breath, trying to remain peaceful.
Serena felt anger boiling up inside of her. She needed to find Bernie and explain. She needed to find Caroline and yell. She needed to find Caroline. Walking around the desk, Serena left the office, scampering through AAU to the side room where Caroline was. As soon as she was in the room, her anger dissipated, instead leaving her with a feeling of immense disappointment. She strode over to the chair, eyes cast down, sitting heavily. She looked up briefly at Caroline, who was staring back with great interest.
"Why, Caroline? Why did you tell her?" Serena asked, resigned.
"She asked me where I was and what I was doing last night and said it was imperative to my treatment. I had to be honest," Caroline replied, obviously tired.
"You could have lied."
"I couldn't have. I've never been able to lie to anyone at all."
"What did you say?"
"I told her that I was at your house having sex."
"Why did she want to know?"
"She said that she needed to know how the stitches got infected."
"Oh. Yeah I can see that."
"Serena, what's wrong?"
"Bernie and I had a fight… She hates me."
"Honey, I very much doubt that."
"Don't, Caroline. Just don't."
"Sorry."
"Look, Serena I'm sorry that everything's gone pear shaped. I don't regret last night, and I definitely stand by my feelings. I want you back. I know that I went off with Alex and you with Bernie, but from my end, she was an enigma, and I wanted to find out more about her. I regret how we left things. We never got a proper goodbye and I think I'm clinging to the past. I've never stopped wanting you and I don't think I ever will."
"Caroline, please don't do this to me. I'm already confused. Please don't add to that."
"But, 'Rena I still love you. I still want you so much."
"Don't call me that. I'm sorry, Caroline I have to go."
Serena ran from the room to the Nurse's Station under the pretence of needing more work to do. She was confused. She wanted Bernie, but Bernie broke up with her and Caroline wanted her but she didn't want Caroline. Serena realised that she was in the middle of a very confusing love triangle.
It had been a fortnight since Bernie broke up with Serena. It had been a fortnight since Bernie's life had been turned upside down. It had been a week and four days since Caroline left the ward, eliminating one of Bernie's problems. It had been a week since Bernie found herself almost forgiving Serena. It had been two days since Bernie had last been at work. It was Monday and Bernie found herself dreading going to work. She was dreading walking into the ward that she ran along with Serena and seeing that dratted room that she tried to avoid. She was dreading seeing Fletch, knowing that he assumed that it had been Bernie who hurt Serena. She was dreading seeing Serena, knowing that she would get looks of longing from the shorter brunette.
Bernie swung her legs over the edge of the bed, sitting up and groaning as she felt the effects of last nights drinking. Bernie hadn't really been coping well over the past fortnight. She felt herself drinking more and more as she found she just wanted to forget. Rubbing her face, Bernie stood up carefully, making her way gingerly to the ensuite to get ready for the day. She was relieved when she stepped under the heavy spray of the shower. Bernie found herself basking in the heat of the hot water. After a while, she quickly, yet carefully soaped up and rinsed off, wanting to get her day started as soon as she could. Wrapping a towel around herself, Bernie walked back into her bedroom, to her wardrobe to decide what she wanted to wear. She decided on her trademark black skinny jeans, and a navy blue button-down shirt.
Bernie yawned, and walked over to her bed where she pulled her phone from the nightstand. She turned it on and saw that she had three messages from Serena. They were the same three messages that she had gotten from Serena every morning for the last week; 'I'm sorry', 'Please forgive me' and 'Can we talk?'. Once again, Bernie ignored the messages, finding herself unable to form a sensible response. She had barely uttered a word to Serena since she found out that she cheated on her. Bernie felt a pang of hurt when she thought of Serena and Caroline together. Bernie pushed the thought from her mind as she busied herself with getting ready for work.
It took Bernie five minutes to be completely ready before she was out the door. In her car, Bernie absentmindedly drove the familiar streets to Holby City, instead mentally preparing herself for the day. She considered acting like a total bitch as she did every morning, but reconsidered, deciding on keeping with the same routine as she had been doing. She was going to avoid Serena completely unless she had to speak to her about a patient, which surprisingly wasn't very often these days. Bernie found herself suddenly driving round the last corner before reaching the hospital. When she got top the car park, Bernie took a deep breath before heading inside.
Serena's morning
Serena awoke with a pounding headache. She had guzzled a whole bottle of Shiraz within the hour last night before promptly passing out on the couch. She had woken up a few hours later and taken herself to bed. And now she found herself waking up with a pounding headache and sore neck and back. Groaning heavily, Serena sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes wearily. It was going to be a long day. She reached over to her nightstand and grabbed her phone. She was puzzled when she had a message from Raf. Deciding to ignore it for the time being, Serena typed a message to Bernie, 'I'm sorry.' Then she decided to add two more messages as usual; 'Please forgive me,' and 'Can we talk?'. She desperately wanted to sort things out with Bernie because she wanted to reconcile their relationship… she truly loved her so much.
She quickly flicked over to Raf's message and sighed as she read it,
"Hey Serena, I'm just texting you to let you know that I'm going up to Keller for the day. I've spoken to Hanssen and he's arranged a locum for the day. Sorry for any inconvenience. Raf."
Serena read it and thought, 'That's just all I need." She quickly typed 'OK', before going to return her phone on the nightstand. She was startled when the phone began to ring. After almost dropping it, she looked at the Caller ID and saw that it was Hanssen. Rolling her eyes, Serena answered the call, "Yes, Mr Hanssen."
"Good morning Ms Campbell. I trust you're well. I'm guessing you're wondering why I've called," Hanssen answered formally.
"You could say that."
"I assume that Dr Di Lucca has told you that he would be working on Keller today."
"Yes."
"I have arranged a locum to take his place in the meantime."
"May I ask who it is?"
"Yes, of course you can. It is a… Ms Caroline Scott. She was here a while ago when Ms Wolfe was in Ukraine if you remember."
"Yes. Yes of course I remember. Mr Hanssen, I'll have to go otherwise I'll be late."
"Have a good day, Ms Campbell."
"You too, Mr Hanssen."
Serena hung up, giving a heavy sigh. "God, that's all I fucking need," she muttered, angrily. She quickly got out of bed and headed to her bathroom, where she ran the shower. She stepped in and made sure to quickly get herself washed and ready for the day. When she'd finished, she went to her closet and picked the dullest of her shirts and her usual black pants. She scampered down the stairs and entered her kitchen, where she set about making herself a coffee. When she'd finished making it, she tried to gulp it down as quickly as she could so that she could get to work early. After swallowing the last of the scalding liquid, Serena quickly brushed her teeth and hair, before putting her shoes on, grabbing her bag and coat and leaving the house.
The drive to Holby was spent thinking about how Serena would tell Bernie about Caroline. She knew that this would be a sticky situation and that it would be very awkward for the three of them. Suddenly, Serena thought of the best way to tell Bernie… she would buy her a coffee first and then stick a post-it note on the cup. Serena scowled… it sounded stupid now. She wouldn't do that. But she would still buy the Blonde a coffee as she had been doing every morning for the past week. However, instead of the simple 'good morning' that they usually exchanged she would just tell Bernie about the situation.
Arriving on AAU, Serena went straight to the office, holding two coffees in her hands. She knew that Bernie would be in the office as that was where she was every morning. Walking in, Serena noted that Bernie seemed to be working through her paperwork. After placing the coffee on Bernie's desk, Serena headed back around to her own desk. She began working on her paperwork, but stopped after she heard Bernie sigh.
"Why are you doing this?" Bernie all but whispered.
"Doing what?" Serena decided to play dumb.
"Why are you buying me coffee and being nice to me?"
"Because I can."
"Serena…"
"Bernie."
"You can't just buy me coffee and be nice in the hopes that we'll get back together. It doesn't work that way."
"I know… I just thought that I would take baby steps at first. Besides I do have some rather bad news this morning."
"Oh?"
"Yeah. Umm… Hanssen called me earlier this morning to tell me that Raf was going on Keller today and that he had sorted a locum – "
"I don't see how that's bad news."
"It isn't. But the next part is… the locum, it's Caroline. Hanssen seemed to think she was quite efficient last time she was locum here and decided that she was the best for the job this time."
"You're joking."
"Believe me, I wish I was."
"Why can't she just leave us alone?" Bernie growled.
"Bernie, you need to calm down. It's just for the day and we can try to limit the contact we have with her. Except for the fact that we have to brief her on the patients quickly."
"Serena, just don't. You can take care of her… I don't want to be anywhere near her at all."
"I understand. I think she's arrived. I'll see you later, okay?"
"Oh, before you go, do you want to assist in theatre later? I could use your expertise with this one."
"Yeah. Sure… see you then."
Serena walked around the desks and behind Bernie's chair, taking note of how she tensed up. Quickly, she bent down and pecked her on the cheek before she basically ran out of the office. She was glad that she was making some leeway with Bernie. But Caroline couldn't have come at a worse time. Arriving at the Nurse's Station, Serena looked around for Caroline and watched her as she strolled through the doors. Raising an eyebrow, Serena continued to watch Caroline as she slowly made her way to the Nurse's Station. Looking down at her watch, Serena began, "Nice of you to show up, Ms Scott."
"I'm not late, am I?" Caroline panicked.
"No. But you could move faster than snail's pace. You do have work to do and so do I. Now, let's get this briefing over and done with and then you can get changed and begin your day. You'll be looking after the patient in bed 1 who has a Hernia that needs to be monitored, bed 3 has Peritonitis and needs to have obs taken every 20 minutes. If anything goes wrong with those patients or in they need extra care, come to me first and then we can sort out a plan of action. Understood?"
"Yeah." Serena began to walk away. "Hey, Serena!"
"What?"
"I've missed you."
"Have you?"
Serena walked away from Caroline towards the patient in bed 8. She needed a distraction from her personal life for just a minute. She made sure to concentrate on everything Mr Georges was saying before realising that this would be quite a tricky case. Inwardly, she whooped and then groaned but on the outside she retained her cool demeanour. She was in for a long day…
A/N: That's it for now. This chapter was more of a filler than anything else. I could hardly have gone on to the next stage in the fic without this… However, I am almost done.
Just realised that Serena is in a love triangle with two leggy blondes… I think there's a trend here. HAHAHAHA!
Okay, umm… I had been thinking the other day about this fic and realised that cheating was something that Serena would never do (according to Holby City). But in this, Serena was drunk and I know that when people get drunk, they lose all inhibitions. This is basically what happened with Serena.
Thank you all for your reviews… They make me smile. In response to those who are begging for a Berena ending… don't worry. Everything will turn out fine in the end, which will be very soon. ;)
Tata for now though…