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CHAPTER 10

Quinn nervously pulled her shirt over her head and smoothed it out over her stomach before she tucked it into her slacks. Her hands trembled slightly, making the process take longer than it should, and by the time she finally managed to zip and button up her pants, a light sheen of perspiration coated her brow. She kept telling herself that this was just work, that she had kissed tons – okay not tons, but a good number – of people in front of the camera and that nothing different, but her heart knew that that was a lie.

Because everything about this situation was different.

The scene James wanted to sneak in that evening was originally scheduled to shoot next Monday. Their first lovemaking scene scheduled for two and a half weeks after that, which was right before a three-day weekend that marked their filming transition from being primarily on the Paramount lot to doing more stuff on location. After that, the romantic scenes were spaced out over the rest of the shoot. There were a grand total of three lovemaking scenes and a dozen or so kissing scenes. She didn't know the entire shooting schedule by heart, but she had memorized which days she'd first be expected to kiss Rachel, to touch Rachel, to get naked with Rachel.

She wasn't ready.

Her heart clenched as she realized that in roughly twenty minutes she would be actually doing what she'd dreamed about doing for so long, and she couldn't help being bitter and angry about it. Bitter that her first kiss with the brunette would be for pretend, angry that she was going to be forced to share that moment with who knows how many people. When they filmed their love scenes it would be with a skeleton crew to make the undeniably awkward situation less awkward, but this was just a kiss and that meant that everybody would be there. Watching. Judging. Intruding on what, to her, at least, was an especially private moment.

"It's not fair," she whispered, her voice cracking under the weight of her overwhelming emotions. The statement was childish, but there was nothing childish about the heartbreak she was experiencing. She would finally get to kiss Rachel, and she knew that meant nothing. There was nothing fair about that.

She closed her eyes and lifted her face to the ceiling, trying to use gravity to force her tears back as she took a deep breath and held it, foolishly hoping that the extra oxygen would calm her nerves. Keep cool for now, Q, and when you get home you can lose it, she told herself sternly. Two, maybe three hours and then you can cry, scream, throw shit, whatever, but for now you have to behave professionally.

If only it were that easy.

She took one last ragged breath, opened her eyes to study her reflection in the mirror to make sure that her internal distress wasn't visible, before she walked out of the trailer and started across the lot to the set. Her feet moved slowly, heavily, and she jumped when the sound stage door slammed shut behind her.

Across the large shell of a building, she could see Rachel sitting on top of one of the desks in the 'bullpen' chatting amiably with Chase. The brunette was dressed similarly to herself, slacks and a shirt, fake gun holstered on her right hip, badge hanging off the left side of her belt, and Quinn eagerly drank in the sight of her. Rachel was laughing at something Chase had said and when she looked up at Quinn, her eyes twinkling with mirth and a large, happy smile on her face, Quinn couldn't help but smile back. Her smile must have been off, however, because as she walked up to Rachel and Chase the brunette took one look at her and quickly excused themselves from the writer. Quinn shivered ever so slightly as Rachel's fingers wrapped around her arm and she allowed the brunette to drag her across the set to a dark, quiet corner away from the action.

Rachel frowned as she studied the blonde's face intently. "Are you okay, Quinn?"

No, I'm not, Quinn thought to herself even as she nodded and focused her attention on the wall just over Rachel's right shoulder, not able to meet the brunette's eyes as she lied. "Yeah. Fine."

Rachel recognized the mask Quinn was wearing as the one the blonde had adopted in high school whenever something wasn't right, but she let it drop, once again reminding herself that it wasn't her place to question the other woman. Though she wished for a deeper relationship with Quinn, right now they were just friends, new friends, and she hadn't yet earned the right to push. "If you're sure," she whispered.

Quinn licked her lips and nodded as she dared to look into the brunette's worry-filled eyes. "Thank you."

Rachel smiled understandingly and pulled Quinn into her arms, reassuring the blonde without words that she would be there for her. That everything would be okay. She sighed as Quinn's hands moved to rest lightly against her hips and she leaned in to rest her head against the blonde's shoulder. She had missed not hugging Quinn the night before when had she fled from the blonde's car without a backwards glance, but at the time she hadn't been ready for this. Last night, her newfound attraction had been so overwhelming that she didn't know what to do about it; but a good night's sleep worked wonders in helping her gain perspective on what she was thinking and now she was more than ready to hold Quinn close.

In all honesty, she was more than ready to do even more than just hold her.

As Quinn relaxed in her arms, she tried to figure out what was bothering the blonde and she smiled as she imagined the other woman's response. Somehow Quinn's standard, 'that's a story for another time' explanation popped into her mind and she couldn't help but wonder if all of those stories had something to do with her. Questions, thoughts, and concerns remained unspoken as they basked in the other's presence, both of them drawing strength from the connection, each of them wishing it meant more than it currently did.

After a time, James' voice carried across the sound stage, calling for his actors and forcing the two women to slowly disentangle themselves from each other. Wanting to see Quinn smile, Rachel quipped, "Ready to go make out?"

Quinn's reaction, however, wasn't what she was expecting. For the briefest of moments, Quinn looked pained before a fake smile that didn't come close to reaching her eyes, appeared on her face.

"Let's go. Do you need a tic tac?" the blonde asked.

Rachel shook her head. "Already had a couple. They're in the top left drawer of the desk over there if you want any," she said, pointing at the desk James and Chase were standing in front of.

"Everything okay?" James asked as his two leads stopped in front of him.

"Fine," Quinn said. "How do you want to do this?"

James smiled awkwardly and, feeling more like a pervert than he ever had while directing heterosexual kiss scenes, said, "Quinn, since your character is more dominate than Rachel's, let's have you standing and Rachel sitting on the desk. I know that the script originally called for it to be staged the other way around, but with those couple changes to the dialogue that Chase added in this morning think this will work better with you two. Sound good?"

"Sounds good to me," Rachel said softly.

Quinn remained silent and just nodded her agreement, and before long it was just her and Rachel under the lights as James and the rest of the crew disappeared into the shadows that surrounded the set.

"AND, ACTION!"

Quinn started pacing in front of Rachel, muttering darkly under her breath as her character worked herself up into a frenzy. Charlie had just been forced to rescue Hayden from the private office of the crime boss they were trying to get enough evidence on to convict for multiple homicides.

"Dammit, Conway!" Rachel swore harshly. "Just admit that my way worked!"

"You went against standard operating procedure, again!" Quinn snapped. "What if it was Paulie Parker that had walked in on you instead of one of his easily frightened accountants, huh? What would you have done if you'd been confronted with a Mac-10 instead of a MacBook?"

Rachel shrugged dismissively. "It worked, Conway. And you storming in all fire and brimstone scared him enough that he's cooperating with the investigation and will help us break into Parker's records. So just say thank you and be done with it."

"Say thank you," Quinn seethed. "Right. I should tell you thank you for scaring the ever-loving fuck out of me!"

"I can handle myself, Conway. I don't need you to rescue me!"

"Could have fucking fooled me," Quinn snapped.

"What's your problem?" Rachel demanded.

Quinn ran her hands through her hair as she stopped moving and turned to face Rachel, who was sitting casually atop the desk and looking as if they were discussing where to order takeout from for dinner rather than the fact that the brunette had been very nearly caught in the private office of Cincinnati's most prolific crime lord. "You wouldn't understand."

"Try me," Rachel challenged.

"Walker," Quinn groaned. "You could have been killed!"

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest defiantly. "But I wasn't."

Quinn rolled her eyes dramatically as she threw her hands up in the air in defeat. "Do you know how scared I was?" she asked, her voice quieter as it finally filled with fear rather than anger.

Rachel's features softened as she appraised the blonde. "You had no reason to be scared, Conway. I can handle myself. It was fine."

"It's not," Quinn argued. "You can't just do shit like that!"

"Why?"

Quinn ran a hand through her hair as she began pacing in front of Rachel once again. Her character, much like herself, was conflicted about her desire to kiss the other woman. They both wanted it, oh how they wanted it, but there was that line. That invisible line that once crossed, could never be taken back. "You don't want to know why," she muttered roughly, her personal pain causing her voice to crack dramatically.

"Why not?" Rachel asked, for a moment forgetting she was in character as Quinn's distress rocked her to her core. She knew Quinn was acting, but there was something to the edge in the blonde's voice that spoke to her, that told her that Quinn was very much struggling with the idea of kissing her.

Quinn stopped in front of Rachel and took a deep, steadying breath as she reached out to cradle the brunette's cheek tenderly in her palm. "Because you'll run," she said softly.

Rachel smiled. "Conway, haven't you caught on by now that I don't run away from anything?"

Quinn ducked her head and nodded. "This is different," she whispered as she brushed her thumb over Rachel's cheek.

Rachel's breath hitched in her throat at the gentle caress and when she delivered her next line, it wasn't in the argumentative, demanding tone the script suggested. Her voice was soft. Hopeful. "Why?"

"I want you," Quinn said, her eyes and her voice showing exactly how much she wanted the woman sitting in front of her.

Rachel licked her lips instinctively at the blonde's confession. The words were written in the script, but the longing that was laced in those three words, the look of unfettered desire that caused Quinn's hazel eyes to glow, most certainly wasn't. That was all Quinn.

And it took her breath away.

If she hadn't realized the night before that she wanted the blonde, those three words and that look would have been more than enough to make her come to her senses and she had a hard time trying to remember to stay in character when all she wanted to do was take Quinn, her Quinn, into her arms and kiss her. "Charlie," she breathed.

Quinn bit her lip and nodded, her eyes dancing over Rachel's face as she searched for some tiny fragment of hope that this would mean something to the brunette as well. And then she saw it. It was in the softening of the corners of Rachel's eyes, in the way her pupils dilated. Rachel might not have feelings for her yet, but she could tell that the brunette wanted this. The script called for her to say something in response to Rachel's statement but, as she fell into the brunette's gaze, she forgot what it was. So, knowing that they were on camera no matter how much she wished they weren't, she nodded. "God do I want you," she husked softly, so softly that only the microphone hidden in the collar of her shirt and Rachel heard her. The words might not have been in the script, but they were in her heart.

Rachel smiled softly and leaned into Quinn's touch even as she reached out to grab hold of the blonde's hips and pull her in closer. A frisson of desire rolled down her spine as the other woman eased between her parted legs and she sighed as Quinn's breath danced across her lips. They were close, so close, and yet it felt as if there were an eternity between them. "Kiss me," she whispered.

Quinn licked her lips and moaned softly as she forgot everything around her except for the feel of Rachel's cheek in her hand and the very real want that was glowing in the brunette's eyes. She dipped her head and lightly brushed her lips over Rachel's, just the faintest ghost of a touch and whimpered at the feeling. So soft. "Rachel," she breathed against the brunette's lips before she closed the distance between them for good and captured Rachel's lips with her own.

So this is what I've been missing, Rachel thought as she gave herself over to Quinn's kiss. It was soft and sweet, tender, much like the hand upon her cheek, and she immediately knew that one kiss from the blonde would never be enough. She lost herself in the feeling of silken lips moving against her own, moaning loudly as her grip on Quinn's hips tightened and she pulled the blonde in closer to her even as she arched forward into the standing woman. She wanted more, she needed more. She groaned her displeasure when Quinn began to pull away and moved her hands up to the collar of the blonde's shirt, pulling her back so she could reclaim those delicious lips. It had taken her twenty-five years to finally realize that she wanted to kiss Quinn Fabray and she sure as hell was not ready for this moment to end just yet.

Quinn whimpered as Rachel pulled her back in for more and when the brunette took advantage of her surprise and a nimble tongue slipped inside her mouth, her knees threatened to buckle beneath her. No longer thinking about anything beyond Rachel and kissing Rachel, Quinn wove her fingers through the brunette's hair, her arms flexing as she pulled the smaller woman into her. Heaven, this is heaven, she couldn't help thinking as Rachel's tongue stroked lightly against her own.

Behind the camera, James and the rest of the crew watched the women lose themselves in each other and although they had ignored the script from about the third line of dialogue from the end, James couldn't find it in himself to care. The kiss happening before them wasn't what was scripted, it wasn't an almost violent collision of desire, but it was real. There was no denying that it was real.

And he didn't have the heart to stop them.

Rachel sighed as their kisses slowed to a series of light, lingering connections of lips and when they stopped altogether, she opened her eyes to stare into the most beautiful hazel eyes she had ever seen.

"My god, Quinn," she breathed, her words so soft that they could be easily edited out should the microphone have picked them up. Not that she was thinking about anything beyond the woman in her arms and the feelings the kiss they had just shared had elicited within her. She had been kissed passionately before, but never had she ever felt anything like she was feeling now. It was like she was flying. It was beautiful and exciting and addictive and she wanted more.

For the first time since James had mentioned that he wanted to move this scene up in the schedule, a genuine smile tweaked Quinn's lips as she stared affectionately into big brown eyes that were shining with surprise and joy and desire. Yes, there was definitely desire swirling in those smoldering mahogany orbs. "Hi."

Rachel chuckled at the warmth and affection she found looking back at her, and her heart jumped in her chest at the knowledge that Quinn was feeling the same things she was. "Hi."

And then the bubble that surrounded them was shattered with a loud, entirely unwelcome, "AND CUT!"

Quinn flinched at the intrusion, at the reminder that they weren't alone. Rachel felt it and fisted her hands even tighter in the blonde's shirt so that the other woman couldn't pull away from her. She had accepted the fact that she was attracted to Quinn, but after kissing the blonde she recognized that her feelings already went further than simple attraction. She wasn't ready to put a name to those emotions, but she couldn't deny that they were there. "Look at me, Quinn," she whispered.

Quinn looked at Rachel and was blown away by what she saw. She had thought it wasn't possible, but the way the brunette was looking at her suggested otherwise. "Rachel?"

Rachel smiled softly and lifted her chin to kiss the blonde tenderly. "We need to talk," she whispered before she regretfully pulled away.

Quinn licked her lips and nodded jerkily. "Okay."

James had the grace to look embarrassed as he interrupted the two women. "I, ahm… that was, very good," he said. "Not quite what I was going for originally, but I think it works." He paused as both women turned to look at him, Rachel's hands falling from Quinn's shirt that was now thoroughly wrinkled at the collar to rest upon the blonde's hips.

"Sorry," Quinn muttered embarrassedly.

James gave her a soft smile that said he understood. "Don't be. I like this approach better, actually, but I need to get a couple different angles so I'm going to need you two to run through the scene the same way a few more times."

Rachel smiled and nodded. "Of course."

"Quinn?" James asked.

Quinn tilted her head in understanding. "You're the boss."

"Right, give me a few minutes to move the cameras to where I need them and then we'll hit this again from the top," James said as he turned and hustled back behind the cameras.

Quinn blushed adorably as she turned her attention back to Rachel and took in the brunette's appearance. "I messed up your hair," she muttered as she ran her fingers gently through dark silk, smoothing it back into place.

Rachel smiled. "I don't mind. And, anyways, I wrinkled your shirt."

Quinn looked down at herself and grinned. "I really didn't mind," she murmured.

They shared a shy smile as the hair and wardrobe team walked onto the set to fix up their appearances and soon enough they were starting the scene over again from the top. No matter how much they wanted to sit down and figure out this thing that was blossoming between them, they had a job to do. The only bright side was that the job required them to do something they both wanted to do more than talk.

"God do I want you," Quinn husked.

"So kiss me," Rachel whispered, lifting her chin and meeting Quinn's lips in a soft, gentle kiss that said better than words ever could how much she wanted the blonde as well.

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