Lily's POV

I've been in Hertzelia since January, being taught daily by Miriam, and sometimes Asher's friends come over to teach me about the lives of Nines around here. Now, it's mid-February, and I'm really getting how this life works. I've figured out dolls - it's all just controlling people against their will, which doesn't strike me as fun - and I've discovered a kind of food called candy, which is absolutely delightful to me in moderation, but pure edible nightmare when eaten too much.

I have taken to sitting on the front step of the Shmirtzer home every day after lunch, taking in everything around me. I still can't believe such amazing things such as color and animals stretch on so far past the horizon, and nobody around here even understands. I get many strange looks from the people who jog on the sidewalks, but I still can't get over how colorful their shoes are - almost overwhelming.

I am observing the new life that lays out before me when the front door opens with a quiet whish. "Lily," Miriam says, making me turn around and look up to face her. "Today is Thursday. When the weekend ends, I want you and Asher to go to school."

I don't bother arguing, and I just nod. I'm terrified, but also a bit relieved. I need to be around people, despite my awkward, timid disposition. Besides, I had to get the first day out of the way eventually.

At dinner, I sit beside Asher, with Miriam and Joseph on either ends of the table, as the arrangement has been since Asher and I began coming to the table for meals. We sit with the substance called beef on our plates, but in a disc-shaped, pressed form, between two discs of bread and a thick liquid known as ketchup - which Miriam and Joseph had to convince Asher and I wasn't blood - and a potato beside it.

Joseph and Miriam eat, but Asher and I are hesitant. This strange food displayed before us, completely foreign, doesn't look inedible. I pinch Asher's arm gently. When he turns to give me a puzzled look, I mouth, "I'll eat if you do."

He nods, and we both bring the discs to our mouths. I bite into the soft food, and I am unimpressed. The brisket certainly tasted better. This is not nearly as full of flavor, and the ketchup seems to be the only source of interesting tastes in the whole object.

Asher, however, seems to disagree. He closes his eyes, clearly relishing the moments that the beef is in his mouth. He sets it back down to grin at me. I give him a disturbed look. He likes this stuff?

Noticing my disgusted face, he gives me a huge smile and shoves half of the meal into his mouth. I smirk as he struggles to swallow. Hey, we may be friends, but I can't help laughing at that.

Asher's POV

Miriam has finally set a day for Lily and me to begin attending school - tomorrow. I lay on the bed Miriam pulled out from the sofa, my clothing all laid out - dark pants and a long-sleeved blue, black, and white shirt - and my backpack on the floor beside the bed, and I silently try to comfort myself in the dark.

I must be able to make friends, part of my mind argues. I already have three.

But who's to say they're not just pretending, to be nice to Miriam? Another part of my mind worries. I am torn between excitement and nerves.

Hey, Asher, my former self says in my head. You've got lots of charm, and you're funny. You'll be awesome. You can make friends in the Community, surely you can here.

I smile, in spite of the situation, and try to channel the Asher who only wanted his snack, the Asher who never would worry about this, the Asher who hasn't seen war or guns. Why can't I just try to be that Asher for a few days?

I didn't feel emotions, I realize. We hadn't felt anything true, back in the Community. The Stirring Pills had ensured that lacking in our lives. Thing is, I like not having the lacking. I relish the sadness, nostalgia, nerves, happiness...and real friendship connection. I feel a severed connection to Jonas, one that can be recreated, if we can just meet again.

Thinking of the day that will start in but a few hours, I drift off to sleep. Drowned in the strange world of my subconscious, I dream a dream.

Jonas, Fiona, Lily, and a few faceless strangers are playing Bang, and I am hidden nearby in a bush I remember using as a barrier so many times. Lily is shooting up a storm, causing various strangers to sink to the ground, giggling and shouting, "Augh! You've got me!"

Lily prances over to Jonas and Fiona. "Got them!" She laughs. "Got them all!"

Jonas grins. "Great!" He hands her a real gun, the one in the Memory. "Just one more, now."

Lily squeals in delight. "The arrogant, obnoxious one! I was hoping I'd get your permission to finish that one!"

She approaches me with a maniacal grin and a raised gun. I wake, tears dampening my ever-smiling face, in a fear and heartbreak that did not leave me in my dreams.