Tales of Hey Listen! Chapter 10: Get Lost, a Legend of Zelda + Tales of Symphonia Crossover fanfic

Me: Woohoo! Ten-thousand years can leave a crick in your neck!

Malo: Oh Goddesses. You're back!

Me: Yep! I read this Legend of Zelda self insert I wrote for my "I entered the forest" essay back in sixth grade and I was like "I NEED TO UPDATE! TO THE COMPUTER!"

Malo: *hugs me* Never leave again. Please.

Me: Hehe. Feeling the love! / I am so sorry this took forever to post! I was going to post this chapter on 10/7, but stuff happened and I never got to writing it. Also, today is the one year anniversary of Tales of Hey Listen! I would like to thank EVERYONE for reading this fic! I apologize for never updating, and I'm going to try to post at least (hopefully more) one chapter every month!

Malo: Colette's a Bimbo would like to thank Link Fangirl01, BigBossOfMoss, TiFu, and RubyLust for reviewing.

Me: I do not own Legend of Zelda or Tales of Symphonia! If I did, all of the ToS characters would keep their Japanese voice acting! ~Sigh~ Lloyd would sound like Serge from Arc Rise Fantasia then~ ^.^ T-Hee. Hehehe. /

Malo: Um...Are you feeling okay?

Me:Of course I'm okay! Let's start the chapter! Oh yeah, the first half of the chapter is a self insert-filler. Sorry, couldn't resist. After this chapter and I'm not going to break the fourth wall as much as I can!... Gambare desu!

Tales of Hey Listen!

Chapter Ten: Get Lost

"Hello? Link? Wake up! I'm getting tired of this. Don't make me eat all the cake by myself!" a voice said from above me.

I jumped up and started looking around frantically. "CAKE? Where's the cake?" I screamed.

A girl slightly shorter than me smiled when she saw me awake. She stuck her tongue out and said, "The cake was a lie. I just said that to wake you up."

I groaned then fell back on the floor. Unfortunately, there was a book in the way and I ended up injuring myself instead.

"Eek. That must've hurt... Are you alright?" The girl asked.

I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, I'm good. Who are you anyways?" I asked.

The girl gave an impish grin. "Why, I'm Zeles."

I screamed then fainted again.

"Hey bud! Wake up!" Zelos's voice shouted as he poked me with a stick.

I groaned then woke up again. I rubbed my head and muttered, "Zelos, I had the weirdest dream ever. The authoress just appeared out of nowhere and she told me the cake was a lie then-"

"That wasn't a dream," a small voice whispered from behind Zelos.

Zelos moved aside so that I could see the girl again. "Link, say hello to the authoress."

I screamed as I got a good look at her. She seemed to be 5'2''. She was wearing skinny jeans, green legwarmers, black converse, a Legend of Zelda 25th Anniversary T-Shirt, navy colored fingerless gloves, and purple glasses. She had long black hair tied into a high ponytail, and a slightly tanned face. I didn't have time to wonder about why I cared about all of this because she suddenly started to jump up and down.

"OMFG! I am your number one fangirl Link! Hug me!" She screamed.

I screamed even more and began to run away. Unfortunately for me, Regal was knocked out on the library floor, and I tripped on him.

Zeles casually walked up to me with her hands in her pocket. She yawned then said, "You should have enjoyed that. That's the only time you'll ever see me like that." She stuck out her hand and said, "Zeles, pleased to meet you."

I awkwardly shook her hand. "Uh...Link...Nice to meet you too."

She helped me off the floor then dragged me over to where Presea and Zelos were sitting.

"Okay guys! So me, being the lazy ass, decided that I'm going to help you on your journey a bit. 'Why?' you ask? Because I'm a nice girl and I need some good karma right now." She said the last part sarcastically. "So I am going to answer one question for each of you, give you all a hint on what to do, then leave. Does anyone have any questions?" She asked.

Zelos raised his hand and asked, "Are there any side effects to your generosity?'

She smirked again. "No, but you just wasted your one question."

Zelos face palmed then shouted, "That's not fair! You asked if we had questions!"

Zeles shrugged. "All's fair in life and games...or love and war...or something." She pondered on the subject for a while.

"How did Alicia die?" Presea asked.

Zeles looked up from her pondering then she seemed to think for a moment. "I'm not sure if I remember correctly, but Regal's butler sold Alicia off to a creeper that looked like a turtle. He turned Alicia into an exeb...exa...exebue... a big green monster then gave her back to Regal. She begged Regal to kill her and he did. It's like some sappy love story in those cheesy dramas."

Presea nodded. "I see...So the one I need to kill is not Regal, but his butler."

Zeles smiled as she nodded then handed Presea a black notebook. "That, my dear Presea, is a Death note. Just think about the person you want to kill then write down their full name in it. In forty seconds, they will die. Have fun."

I face palmed. "Zeles, you do realize you just gave a weapon of mass destruction to a twelve year old sadist right?" I asked.

The authoress just blinked then shrugged. "Yeah, I did realize that. I also realized that was your one question! Wow! You're pretty dumb in this story aren't you?" She said in a chirpy voice. She quickly followed it up with a, "Just kidding!"

I breathed a sigh of relief. "So I can still ask my question?" I asked.

Zeles face palmed then answered, "Not anymore. You just asked a another question."

"Hey hey! What about me? Can I also ask a question?" Regal, who seemed to have woken up, asked as he came towards us.

Zeles face palmed then muttered, "Why am I surrounded by idiots?..." She looked up at Regal then simply said, "The butter knife is in Zelos's left pocket."

Regal beamed then began to beat up Zelos until the redhead gave him the coveted butter knife.

"So, the only person who got her question answered was Presea..." I mused. "What about the hint you were talking about?" I asked.

She flipped her hair back then answered in a rather carefree voice, "Get lost. Okay? Have fun!" In a poof of smoke she disappeared. The Death note in Presea's hand also disappeared.

"Aww...I only wrote twenty nine names in their..." Presea mutteredin a sad voice.

I breathed a sigh of relief as I realized I didn't have a last name. Then, I growled in frustration as I realized that Zeles had just flipped me off.

"Well, that was a waste of time," Zelos mused. "I didn't have time to get touchy-touchy with her either." He whined.

I facepalmed then whacked him upside the head.

"So, did she tell you anything important?" Regal asked as he handed Zelos the butter knife back.

"Not really," I began. "She just told me to get lost then left."

Regal sighed. "Well, let's get out of here then."

"Zelos, isn't that the same dead mouse we passed five minutes ago? And that's the same trail of blood we passed a minute ago...Why would a school have a trail of blood on the floor?... ...Admit it, you're lost," I whined. Zelos had been leading us around the academy for the past fifteen minutes, and it seemed obvious that we were lost.

"No, no, we just have to go past this dark and ominous hallway," the redhead started as he marched ahead. I rolled my eyes then followed him. I had to squint my eyes as we continued through the hallway because the lights seemed to get dimmer. Soon, we were surrounded by darkness.

"Zelos, if I can see you right now, I would set you on fire," I threatened.

"Oh! I've got an idea! Let's use some fire magic to light the way!" Regal shouted.

I could picture Presea rolling her eyes as she stated, "Using fire magic in an academy would set the whole place on fire."

"I- hey, I feel a door! Let's enter it!" Zelos exclaimed as he opened a door.

We entered the room and heard a gasp from the inhabitant of the room.

"Who's there?" a female voice asked quickly.

"Um, can you turn on the light? I can't see anything," I said.

Someone lighted a candle and it was then that I could see. The room was very small, and almost everything was shrouded in darkness. There were a few desks with notes and expensive looking machines on them. It seemed that the door we had entered through was the only entrance to the room, unless there was a door behind the bookshelf; but that didn't seem plausible.

"Who are you and how did you get in here?" a girl wearing a white lab coat-looking dress, wiry glasses, and green hair in a bun asked.

"I'm sorry, we got lost," I started. As soon as I said this, my eyes grew wide. "Guys! We were lost! The authoress told us to get lost! Don't you get it! She actually gave us a hint!" I shouted. I began to do my happy dance. While I was doing this, Presea snapped a few pictures, sold them on ebay, and became an instant billionaire.

"Aren't you Tethe'alla's chosen one?" the girl asked as she stared at Zelos in disbelief.

The narcissist smiled and flipped his hair. "I see that even down here in the basement people have still heard of me."

I rolled my eyes then answered the girl's first question. "My name's Link. We were looking for a way out of the academy but we got lost. Sorry. Oh, and this is Zelos, Regal, and Presea," I said as I introduced everyone.

"Oh my gosh! It's Presea!" She shouted to the other person, who we didn't notice until then, in the room. He also wore a lab coat-looking...dress...and he also had green hair. In addition, he looked like Spock from Star Trek...

"Um...if you wouldn't mind me asking, how do you know her?" I asked the girl as I wished I knew what her name was.

"My names Kate," she answered, as if reading my mind. "I know Presea because... well, we tested on her a long time ago. We were trying to create a Cruxis crystal, but we failed."

I nodded and acted like I understood everything. Then, I stopped her, "Kate, it's great to learn about everyone's pasts, but let's put the past behind us and move onto the future. In other words, how do we get out of here?"

Kate blinked. "But don't you want to learn about why we're stuck down here and how you can get Presea's personality back?"

I shook my head. "I can honestly care less about," I started to say, but the girl cut me off.

"We're stuck down here because we're half elves. We are forced to research things and it's been a while since we've seen the light of day. It wasn't always like this. Until two weeks ago, we were as free as a bird. Then, the King suddenly passed a law saying all half-elves should be discriminated. So here we are." Kate droned on.

"Oh great, I've got another Navi! She just wants to talk about her past. Sooner or later she's going to say-" I said.

"Hey listen! Hello! Are you listening to me?" Kate asked. "I'm in the middle of explaining about Presea!"

I sighed. "Okay, Kate, it's been nice meeting you and Spock, but we've got important matters. We have to leave, so if you can point to a door, we'll be on our way."

"If you can cure Presea, she'll stop being a sadistic little kid." Spock said.

I immediately sat down on a chair and smiled. "So, how can you fix her?"

Zelos sat down next to me. "And please skip the explanation of how she came to be. Just tell us how to fix her. We really don't like being locked in a dark place with suspicious people."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, paused, though, then began to talk, "Um...to fix Presea...go into a dark and creepy forest everyone tells you not to enter. Soon, you'll come upon Altessa's house. Go in and show him Presea. He should make you a key-crest that will get you Presea's life back."

I got up then waved. "Well, thank you for the information. We'll be leaving now."

"Please, help Presea," Kate said.

I nodded. "Don't worry! We will! We don't like being bullied by a kid half our size."

I was almost at the door when Kate shouted, "Don't you want to use our awesome secret door behind the bookshelf?"

I jumped a foot in the air. "I knew it! I just knew there was a door behind the bookshelf!"

Spock rolled his eyes then opened the door, behind the bookshelf, for us. "Tell freedom I said hi," he said before going back to his research.

"Can't you just leave?" I asked him.

"It's not in my programming," he said before melting into the darkness.

"I don't like this place," Presea muttered. She took out her ax, split a desk in two, then exited through the door.

"Um...that's not our problem!" I shouted as I ran out.

"I am not paying for that!" Regal screamed as he chased after me.

Kate glared at Zelos. "You are going to pay for that, right?"

Zelos gave a shaky laugh. "How about I treat you to lunch instead?"

She glared at him even more and he ran out.

"I'm sorry!" We (by we, I meant the males) all shouted behind us.

"It lead us out a manhole," Zelos muttered. "I, the Great Zelos Wilder, have been lowered to traveling though manholes!"

"Oh shove it," I told him. "Let's get Presea fixed up. I don't want her injuring us throughout our journey."

"Why am I helping you in the first place?" Zelos thought to himself.

"OH NO!" Regal suddenly shouted. "We forgot Bob in there!"

"Who?" I asked.

"You know, Bob! He's about as tall as me! He has red hair, wears pink, uses a dagger to fight! He looks like a girl from behind!" He shouted as he made hand motions to match his descriptions.

I raised an eyebrow. "Don't you mean Zelos?" I asked quizzically.

Presea looked up from carving wood and answered, "Bob's his imaginary friend. I murdered him after I grew bored of hearing his pathetic pleas of mercy."

I shuddered. I tensed when Presea walked up to me.

"Link," Presea began. "I'm really sorry about the wooden bear I gave you a while back. It wasn't very nice. So, I made this for you as a way to apologize," she said as she handed me a wooden llama.

"Awww, Presea, you didn't have to do that," I said.

"I also made one for Zelos and Regal," she said as she handed a wooden narwhal to Zelos, and a large wooden butter knife to Regal.

"Oh, and I put some lemon gels inside," she said as she walked away.

I froze as I remembered what had happened the last time she had put gels in her creations.

"Link, is it just me, or am I hearing a ticking noise?' Zelos asked.

At that moment, the wooden animals (and butter knife) blew up in our faces.

"YES! I FEEL THE PAIN!" Regal shouted in glee.

Me: Yay! Chapter ten, complete! Sorry it was short! Okay, I've got a quick question.

Malo: Yes, it is weird that you're going to go watch Beauty and the Beast 3D with your friends right now.

Me: O.o … ...You did not hear that... … What I was going to ask was if you'd rather have me write short chapters, but update more, or write longer chapters, but take a while longer to update.

Malo: Short but quick is better! I get more screen time then!

Me: -.-, … ...Please review!

Malo: She's seriously watching Beauty and the Beast though!