Runaway by Kibibe

Nightmare

The rest of the day was was pretty uneventful. For Bella at least. Alice and Rosalie needed to go hunting and after the little dispute between Bella and Rosalie, Emmett decided to accompany his wife to not make her any more furious by staying with the girl and Alice insisted for Jasper to come too because as mad as she currently was with her sister she felt she might need him.

They left late in the afternoon. Bella spend the rest of the day watching TV next to Edward on the couch. Not really paying attention to the program because it was kind of awkward being alone with him. She kept stealing glances at him and caught him doing the same a couple of times. But she wasn't quite sure where they were standing.

Yesterday it sounded like he might have feelings for her. He had said that he was attracted to her. What did that mean? Just lust or – she barely even dared to think – more like love maybe?

But no matter what she still wasn't sure how she could get past what he had done to her by leaving. How was she supposed to trust him again. He might just get up and leave her all over again. How was she supposed to live with that possibility.

She stayed up late. She kind of dreaded going to bed, because Alice wasn't there to hold her tonight. She felt that especially today she'd need someone to hold her. And Alice was the only one she felt like she could ask to do that. She knew that Edward probably would do it if she asked, but she didn't want him to just do it because he felt obligated.

Edward was hoping against hope that after everything that had happened that day and since Alice wasn't there, Bella might ask him to hold her like she had done with Alice the night before. But she didn't. And as she closed the door to Alice and Jasper's room his dead heart sank in his chest.

He waited until her breathing turned shallow and her heart slowed so she would surely be asleep as he entered the room and sat on the floor watching her. Wondering if and how he could ever win her back. He was determined to do what ever it would take.

"YOU" Rosalie growled and charged for Bella. She spun around and ran out of the house as fast as she could, into the snow that reached as high as her knees, knowing that it was probably useless since she could never compete with Rosalie's abilities – could never compete with Rosalie in any way. After all she was still just some plain human girl. How could she have ever believed that she might be something more - something special. She never was and she never would be ... special ... ever. Tears sprang in her eyes. How foolish the things she had hoped for. She hadn't been good enough for him then, how could she be now? After what she had become? Foolish, Bella, so foolish. Running through the deep snow was exhausting and she felt her legs give out under her. She fell. It was over. She couldn't outrun her. So she just waited.

But nothing ever happened and she wondered what took Rosalie so long? Was she playing games now? She sat up looking around her. There was nothing. Just a seemingly endless sea of white and some green peaking through here and there on the trees. Strange. What was Rosalie trying to do?

And more importantly what was she going to. All alone in this forest. If Rosalie wouldn't come for her, what was she supposed to do. Could she find a way out? Would someone find her? Would she freeze to death out here? Was this her grave. How ironic it seemed for her grave to be ice cold – ice cold like the one she had loved so much, the one she had craved for. That thought brought a smile on her quivering lips.

But then out of the corner of her eyes she saw something moving. Something red – flaming red. The dread made the hair in the back of her head stand up. Only once had she seen that color but she sure as hell would never forget it. It was branded into her brain haunting her in her sleep. She would recognize it anywhere. And now it was here. "If you knew what she had planned for you …" Laurant's words echoed in her ears.

Running would be useless now, but what else was there to do? She wouldn't go down without a fight. So she struggled to get back on her feet, her legs protesting, already so close to exhaustion. The snow slowing her down even more. She could almost feel the icy breath on her neck. Tears of frustration sprang in her eyes. Why couldn't it just be over already? What was stopping her? Did she enjoy this?

She ran and ran, her lungs aching with the icy air streaming in, her legs hurting so much, slowing her down more and more as the sky got darker and darker and then there was no forest anymore. She found herself on a street. The icy wind tearing at her shivering frame and blowing a thick stream of snowflakes into her face. A freakin' Blizzard … again. But she was alone there was no one else anymore.

Strange how could she have outrun the devil woman? Unless - and that realization seemed so much more painful than anything that dreadful Vampire woman could have done to her – unless this had all just been her mind playing games with her. Unless she was still stumbling through that damned blizzard on Christmas Eve. Of course. It was all an hallucination because she was dying. Like in that awful fairytale - The Little Match Seller. Exactly like her freezing to death only she somehow she wasn't able to stay in oblivion. Her sweet oblivion was being ripped from her so cruelly. Making reality that much worse.

So with this realization she finally gave up and laid her battered body down on the icy ground – waiting for death to finally take her. Tears flowing in a steady stream down her face as she closed her eyes for the last time. And then she heard the soft murmur of his voice one last time. Heaven.

Edward grew quite concerned as he now saw tears flowing down Bella's cheeks. She had been restless all night. Tossing and turning in her sleep. Groaning and mumbling incoherently. He'd wanted to comfort her. Hold her like he'd done before. So long ago. But he wasn't sure if she'd be okay with that. So he stayed where he was sitting on the floor his back leaning against the wall. But now that she was crying, he couldn't bear it any longer and he finally gave up trying to keep his distance. He cradled her at his chest humming soothing words into her ear until her eyes fluttered open darting around the room. Then they focused on his face. He smiled tentatively holding her gaze as he whispered "Good Morning, love."

He internally berated himself for letting that slip out. An old habit. He knew he was clearly overstepping his boundaries with this. But still he hoped that she might let it slide ... or maybe even like it. But that was totally wishful thinking and he knew it.

Bella opened her eyes and it was finally light again. She was still a little cold. Not as bad as before though. Interesting. She'd always assumed heaven would be warm. And then she saw him smiling at her. He was holding her in his arms and she couldn't help the tears falling again. Swimming her vision. Because she knew he wasn't real. He couldn't be.

It felt so real. His arms around her. His smile. His scent. But it couldn't be real. He couldn't be. They didn't even live in the same world anymore. He was alive down there. She was dead up here. And he would never come here. This couldn't be heaven after all. There wasn't supposed to be pain in heaven. And pain was all she felt now realizing that they could never even be in the same world anymore.

Edward panicked. She was crying even harder than before shaking furiously. Stupid. He shouldn't have given into his desires. Should have given her her space. Should have just let her be. She obviously didn't want him to hold her. He led her down on the bed carefully and turned to leave when she got even more hysterical. What was going on? What should he do? He'd proably need Carlisle. Before he could even call for him he was standing in the doorway.

"What happened?" He demanded bewildered glancing back and forth between Edwards panicked face and Bella's shaking form on the bed. Edward shook his head exasperedly "I don't know."

Bella felt him lie her down on something soft and than he was gone. "No!" She cried grabbing her hair. This couldn't be. Her own personal hell. He was leaving her again. What had she done to deserve this? To end up in hell? "Why?" She cried. "Why … keep leaving me?" She choked out between sobs.

Edward and Carlisle both froze dead in their tracks. Leaving her? "Edward go back to her, now!" Carlisle ordered. And he did. Picking her up in his arms and holding her tight to his body. "Shhh it's okay love." He whispered rubbing her back. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Shhh".

All the while Carlise was examining her. "She's hysterical. We need to calm her down." He observed. "But I don't have anything that I could give her." He frowned just as Esme came into the room. "Maybe if he carried her around? Like you'd do with a baby?" She suggested. Carlisle shrugged. "Could hurt trying. Just keep her warm." He advised.

So Edward wrapped the blanket around her shivering frame and picked her up like a baby laying her head on his shoulder. He paced the room rocking her and rubbing her back while he breathed soothing sounds into her ear. And after a while it seemed to work. Her sobs died down to little whimpers as she held the fabric of the back of his shirt in a death grip.

Bella was utterly confused as Edward came back to her. This afterlife was strange. So could this be heaven after all? But knowing that he wasn't real, because he was now living in an entirely different world - never able to join her here - still hurt her so much. So it still kind of felt like hell. But maybe this was something in between. The only solace she could get in this world. And thinking about loosing even this illusion of him had her heart filled with dread. So she clung to it with all her might.

A/N: Finally a new chapter ... if someone is actually still reading this. The slacking kind of annoys me myself, especially since I've already got this whole thing planned out to the end since like a year ago. Also made a few changes in the first chapter. So you might wanna check that out if you're interested.