Wow! It has certainly been a minute since we were here! Sorry about that, folks. When RL intrudes, it intrudes in big, incomprehensible ways. But here we are. Back again, with another chapter. We do hope that you'll continue to let us know how we're doing, and hopefully, we can start updating on a more regular basis...So Happy Holidays to you all...This is our present to you...

Yours, as always,

butterflyswest and Erin Allen

10

Never again, Ray thought in disgust as they left the soccer field. I am never bringing that man to another game.

He ground his teeth as Brett rambled on about the soccer game, asking anyone that was brave enough or incautious enough to make eye contact what this rule or that rule was. Why didn't they call something for the other team when it was called for this team? Ray grimaced as several parents scurried past, clearly avoiding looking at the certifiable madman with the bruised face and the multi-colored hair. Brett didn't seem to notice but kept with his highly vocal diatribe. For a man who couldn't have cared less about soccer two hours ago, he was acting like a die hard fan.

"Why the hell do I bring him out in public?" he grumbled, earning a peal of delighted laughter from Neela.

"Because he's entertaining," she offered.

"He's friggin frightening. I'm expecting someone to call Chicago PD and report him as an escaped psych patient."

She grinned, glancing back at Brett. When her smile faded, Ray followed her gaze, shaking his head as he found Molly perched on Brett's shoulders. She was really getting too big to be doing that.

Then his gaze lowered to Raymond who was watching the two of them with a look that tugged at Ray's heart. Suddenly he understood the sad look in Neela's eyes. Raymond's look was somewhere between bewilderment and envy. For the first time, he actually thought of the boy who was his namesake, wondering about him. By Neela's own words, Little Ray's father wanted nothing to do with him, which pissed Ray off. Molly was his life, and he couldn't imagine his life without her. From all he'd seen Raymond was a good kid. How could a father not want anything to do with his child?

He glanced back at Neela, suddenly realizing that he'd judged her too harshly. He'd said things to her that could at best be termed as cruel. He didn't have any idea what she'd gone through after she'd returned to England. That was just one of many things they were going to have to talk about.

But not yet. Now was a time for the kids. Later would be time enough to resurrect that pain.

He turned around, smiling down at her son. Without a word, he picked the kid up and set him on his shoulders, ignoring the pain as a cleated foot found his ribs and an excited screech nearly ruptured his eardrum.

"Look, Mama! I'm taller than you are now."

Ray looked at Neela and felt a pang in his heart at the sight of her grateful smile before she beamed up at her son.

"I see that. You will come down for ice cream, won't you?" she asked.

Ray grunted as the kid squirmed, planting a heel into his ribs as if Ray were a favored horse. The kids cheered overenthusiastically, and Ray grinned at Brett's pained wince. Served him right for acting like a psycho.

"Just think, Brett. This is just the beginning. You have them all night, sugar rushed and all."

Brett shot him a wry look. "I don't know if I'm gonna make it."

000000

It was funny how things in life always came full circle. Neela couldn't help but think that as she brought the beer from the kitchen and handed Ray the bottle. They'd once been in this same position; sitting in the couch in their flat, watching celebrity poker and swilling beer and pizza. Here they were again, ten years later, doing the same thing. There was no poker game on the TV. His clothes weren't strewn all over the place, tripping her wherever she went. There were a few more lines on their faces than before, but they were falling back into the old habits that had once defined their friendship.

And she couldn't have been happier about it.

She'd said nothing about Ray's attention to her son, but she would never forget it. It had saddened her to see that look of longing on her child's face as he'd watched Molly with her 'Uncle' Brett. She'd never realized what it meant to a boy to have a male role model around. But the smile that had lit his whole face when Ray had perched him on his shoulders had driven away any sadness she'd held. And the look Ray had given her had warmed her to the core.

"Are you all right?"

She jerked from her reverie to find Ray staring at her with that intense look on his face that he'd been wearing ever since leaving the ice cream parlor. She'd not asked him about it. By unspoken agreement, they hadn't talked about anything more pressing than what to get on their pizza and what they had been doing at work. Not until they reached her apartment. What needed to be said between them was better left away from prying ears and eyes.

"I'm fine," she said, drinking from her bottle before settling on the couch beside him. "I was just thinking about this afternoon." She smiled painfully. "Thank you for what you did with Raymond."

He turned and leaned against the back of the couch, staring at her.

"He's a good kid. You should be proud of him."

"I am. Very much. I just wish…"

"What?"

"That he had a father who cared for him like you do Molly. It's the only thing I…"

She broke off, not wanting to go into that. Nicholas was not something she wanted to think about, but Ray had other ideas.

"You never did tell me about his father," he said quietly.

She winced. "I…Nicholas was a mistake. I thought he was someone he wasn't, and Raymond has had to suffer for it."

He raised an eyebrow. "And who did you think he was?"

She swallowed before looking at him. "You."

He hesitated, his gaze searching her face. He tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, sending a shiver of awareness through her whole being.

"You've done a good job with him, Neela."

She smiled. "I've heard that somewhere before haven't I?"

His smile was all she could have hoped for and left her feeling breathless. God, he had an amazing smile!

"Yes, you did. You said it to a very stubborn ass a week or two ago." He shook his head with a grimace. "Listen, Neela…the reason I wanted to talk to you was…well, I wanted to say I'm sorry. About everything I said and did. I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I know, Ray. I know very well."

He sighed, dropping his eyes to his hands as they toyed with the label on the bottle.

"Brett was right, you know. I never did stop thinking about you. And after Lilly died, there was always a part of me that felt guilty for it…thinking that maybe she'd known…"

"Ray…"

"No, I need to say this. When you left, it tore me apart. I understand it all now, but I couldn't understand then. I didn't want to. Lilly helped me pick up the pieces." He raised his head to look at her, his eyes burning into hers. "But Lilly's gone. As much as I loved her, I can't bring her back. And you were right. I can't keep living like I'm the one who died."

He raised his hand to cup her cheek in his palm. She felt the caress all the way through her. She covered his hand with her own, staring into his beautiful green-gold eyes, smelling the scent of his aftershave surrounding her. And when he leaned forward to take her mouth with his, she thought she would stop breathing with the sweetness of his kiss.

"Help me," he whispered, his breath softly caressing her skin. "Show me how to live again, Neela."

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard those words. Every sense she possessed was now focused on this one man. She could taste him on her tongue; feel his warmth surrounding her, filling her with emotions she'd not experienced in a very long time, hear the harsh rasp of his breathing as he watched her.

No, she thought as his thumb brushed across her cheekbone, sending a shiver through her. I've never felt anything like this.

His eyes searched hers, waiting for her answer, waiting for her to say something. There was nothing she could say. But she knew what to do. Leaning forward, gave him a passionate kiss that held more than simply her promise. It carried with it everything she'd ever felt for him, every thought she'd ever had for him. His hands tangled in her hair as he matched the urgency she was feeling with passion all his own, devouring her as if he were starving for her.

He was going to drown in her. He could feel it in every labored breath, in every faltering thud of his heart as she trailed kisses from his mouth, across his jaw to his throat. He couldn't remember the last time he'd felt this sense of urgency to make love to a woman. Felt as if the need to be with her, to take her was the only thing that mattered. He hadn't felt like this in years. Fisting his hands in her shirt, he wrenched it up over her head, needing to feel the warmth of her skin beneath his hands.

He knew he'd made a mistake the moment he did. His breath caught in his throat at the sight of her white lacy bra that accentuated the honey gold of her skin. The sight of her, straddling his waist, was enough to send him over the edge. She was showing just enough skin to make him hungry for more, and not nearly enough to satisfy. He didn't know anymore if he could be patient. Reverently, he brushed the backs of his fingers over one silk covered breast, staring deep into her eyes to watch her response. Her eyes darkened to almost black as she covered his hand with her own, sliding his hand beneath the silk to the warm skin below. He sucked in a breath at the feel of her nipple beneath his palm, her breast a warm slight weight in his hand. His body tightened painfully, straining against his jeans, making him wish he'd worn something else.

"Ray…" she gasped before lowering her mouth to his.

It was too much. Her searing kiss sent him spiraling out of control. With a groan of pure desperation, he pulled her down to the couch, covering her body with his as he did his best to kiss her as senseless as he was. He didn't hold out hope that he would be able to hold out until they reached her bedroom. He needed her with a desperation that bordered on pain. It had been too long since he'd been with a woman. Or was it simply that he was with this woman? He didn't know, and no longer cared. All he knew, all he ever hoped to known centered on being in her. If he couldn't be inside her soon, he would lose his mind.

She saw the need in his eyes and her body thrilled to it. Heat bloomed in her lower belly as she felt the evidence of his arousal nestled between her legs. She whimpered angling her hips, pressing herself closer. There was an urgency in this, a deep seated need that she hadn't been prepared for. But as his mouth moved lower, tasting his way down her throat to her collar bone, she wondered if anyone could prepare themselves for something like this.

The violence of her emotions didn't scare her as it once would have. She cradled his head in her hands, her fingers twining in the soft strands as he lowered his head to take her nipple in his mouth. No, this had been building in them both for a long time. Time, circumstances, their own stubborn pride…all of it had only delayed the inevitable. But now, they were here, in the moment. And Ray felt anything but dead as he began to remove what clothes she was still wearing, his hands sliding across her skin, marking her with heat everywhere he touched.

He fumbled with her clothes even as she was tearing at his, neither of them willing to break their kisses to tend that small detail. Somehow, he found himself lying atop her, skin to skin, her legs wrapped round his waist, her perfect breasts crushed against his chest. He broke their kiss long enough to stare into her eyes. The look on her face took his breath away and filled him with some heated emotion his mind couldn't put a name to. He swallowed hard, his entire being focused on her eyes, the feel of her body against his so soft and yielding, comforting. The touch of her hands as they stroked across his skin.

He shifted his hips and slid into her slowly, watching her eyes as he went. It was all he could do not to throw back his head and howl. She was ready for him, taking him in as if he belonged there. She felt better than he'd dreamed she would, as if she'd been made for him. And the look in her eyes as she pulled him down for another kiss was almost more than he could take. He groaned against her lips as she moved beneath him, urging him on with the same frenzied need that was in him. Every sense he had suddenly focused on where they were joined and he knew there was no way he could make this last. He needed her too much at that moment to take things slow.

Closing his eyes, whispering her name, he could only hold on long enough to feel her tighten around him before he lost what mind he could still claim. Dimly, he heard her cry out, calling his name as she clutched him to her, his mind failing in that one perfect moment of bliss.

Ray could only lie still in the aftermath, his breathing coming in short gasps as he buried his face in the dark spill of her hair. The spicy sweet scent of her perfume intoxicated him, making him wish that he could just stay in that spot the rest of his life. Completely sated, completely at peace. He'd not felt this in so long…

He felt her fingers combing through his hair and lifted his head to look at her, his emotions churning. He regretted the haste with which he'd taken her, but she could forgive him that if her small smile was any indication. Kissing her softly, he tightened his arms around her, already wanting her again. Later would be slow. Later they could take the time…the time to savor, to explore. This had been about something else. Something that felt almost like...

"Neela…" he began softly, unsure of what to say. How could he put to words what was in his heart? Words didn't seem adequate to encompass what he was feeling. How could he possibly thank her for the gift she was giving him? At this moment, there was no past between them. There was no thought of hurt feelings or pain. No old ghosts to hold them back. It was just the two of them. A man and woman who needed each other.

But then, words weren't necessary as she wrapped her arms around him, holding him close to her, telling him clearly that she was not going anywhere. He tightened his hold on her as he rested his head on her shoulder, letting the warmth of her body and love in her touch seep into him, mending the pieces that had for too long cut him. As he listened to her breathing slow, and felt the soft touch of her hand, he closed his eyes feeling a sense of completion. A sense…

…of Destiny.