A/N: Author has a busy school life. THREE active fics (one non-fanfiction). One starting web comic. Forgive her for this strange chapter.
Hououza: XD thank you, it's good to know at least someone thinks the "kiss" ties in… I wanted to have a good enough reason for igniting the spark!
Rabidanimegurl: No! You shall never find out what goes on inside Itachi's head! Neva! XD
I think I know what may've been confusing so far: I'm using the words "shuriken" and "kunai" without a plural form, but it stands for more than one in most cases. I don't really know why…I know there aren't any plurals in Japanese and it just…feels better writing it that way, for certain words. So beware of that.
Chapter 10 – "These dreams are Mine"
-
"…"
Voreka took in the enormous size of the unnatural crater without comment. It was insane. She forced herself not to dwell on it, running instead to catch up with Kisame, who was busy examining any trace of footprints left on the dusty, newly overturned earth. The soil seemed to have hardened in place already, hinting that a few days could've passed since the ground was violently disturbed.
Wordlessly, on the far side of the crater, the other, black haired shinobi half-turned towards them, signifying that he located which direction to head into. They gathered chakra to their feet in response and followed suit.
There wasn't a clear trail to follow. A few times they halted to search for further clues. Well, the men searched. She stopped trying when it became obvious that she couldn't beat their time. It made sense, though. In the Lost Night, they were trained to disguise, hide, and steal, not to track, stalk, and assassinate. Uhm…with a minimal stalking, that is.
Voreka crouched down and took the opportunity to rest while she and Kisame waited for Itachi's return to point out what the shark man spotted. A footprint on the ground.
"You know," Kisame said casually, after a moment, "I was under the impression that Lorichas' eyes can see and trace chakra." She peered up at him with a veiled gaze. Right, he was a missing nin from the Hidden Mist. A much-wanted one from what Waya described. He would probably know.
"You are correct. There are a few from the clan who have inherited the ability to awaken the Ajnagen, from the looks of it, Waya included. But it is not a dominate trait."
"You have the pink eyes."
She didn't have time to respond to that. Itachi was suddenly there, walking the rest of the few steps to come next to them. All he did was to give Kisame a near-invisible nod and leapt forward again. Seemed like they really were in a rush. Makes life easier for her.
However, not even three minutes into their flight, Kisame rounded back on the topic. "So, if you can't even use the 'third eye', then why are they after you?" He had to raise his voice to be heard clearly through the rush of air.
"…" Tsch…how was she to answer that? "…The usual reasons," Voreka replied. "I…ran away. That is enough reason."
Kisame slanted a look at her.
"They want you back."
She shrugged helplessly, one shoulder. "That, I do not understand either."
Right ahead of her, Itachi came to an abrupt halt. Luckily for her, Kisame reached to the side and grabbed her shoulder to stop her; otherwise she might've crashed into the sudden obstacle in her way. That would've been bad.
Wh-what the hell?
Seeing that the two were gazing down through the weave of branches, she also made to look.
…Is that a corpse?
The red eyed man moved on, without comment. And so they followed suit.
…Tsch. Snap out of it. It's not like you didn't know there are deaths on missions.
But it bothered her, as it always did. To know that every departure is chancing to never return again. Still, some of them had to become ninjas, to keep the strength and tradition of the Night alive.
"Kisame-san…"
He grunted an acknowledgement. He heard her.
"How strong is this Naruto?"
"…"
She could tell that put him on his guard. Instead of answering, he looked to the back of the leader of their group.
"You can give me an idea," Voreka suggested.
"You won't need to face him," Kisame replied with a half-scowl.
"…Or you will most definitely die."
She looked to the front to meet the red-eyed stare he tossed over his shoulder at her. He had sensitive ears.
"I happen to be the hardest working Genin of the Night," she responded monotonously. Not the strongest, but hey, that should count for something.
"…Hmph."
Although…now that I think of it…He did hint at their opponents being stronger. That is highly probable, then…
"…You have no place in the shinobi world. Someone as cowardly as you…should stop trying to play ninja."
Voreka frowned at his turned back. He wasn't looking at her anymore, and so she could glare at him as much as she liked.
You…bastard.
I didn't choose this path for myself.
"So what if I'm relatively incompetent? It is my. dream."
…
A lie. A downright lie.
She wasn't quite sure what she said wrong, but it irritated him. She could feel it on her skin, although outwardly, he remained characteristically calm.
After a long pause in which she thought the conversation was over, his soft, emotionless voice trailed back to her again.
"…Was it your dream to kill, steal, and cheat?"
…
She pursed her lips before she could say something she might regret, thinking.
…I suppose I can view it in that light.
I don't pity him.
"It was my dream to make my clan proud of me," Voreka replied as a matter-of-factly. "It was my dream to protect and fight for those I care about."
"…Only to have run away," he reminded her coldly.
"…"
Crap. I really fell for that one didn't I?
"Tsc- Th-that's not the point."
Kisame glanced concernedly between the both of them.
"…Why did you not stop there?" His breathy question.
…
What does it matter to you
Why was he always…picking on her?
"Stop. You're making Kisame-san uneasy."
"Uh…" was Kisame's obvious affirmation.
Which Itachi ignored.
"…Why did you not choose to live a normal, secure life…staying at home?"
Staying at home?
Why you-!
That did it.
"It's because of you!" she snapped angrily. Immediately she clamped a hand over her mouth. Whoops. That was not right. "It's because of misogynists like you, I mean!" she amended.
For a moment there, I…
…
"Please stay here, the path I follow is sewn with dangers you can't possibly imagine."
…
…I mistook him for…
…
"I'll always be with you, as the shadow you must catch up to…"
…
…his shadow…
…
"And when that day arrives, come and look for me."
…
Haku.
…
I loved you.
I won't forgive you.
"…Women are nothing but hindrances on the battlefield," he murmured coldly.
…
Is he…testing my patience?
Because her fingers were itching to send a swarm of needles his way. Fortunately, she had better self control than that.
She hoped.
Guuh…
"No-…You-…Ugh."
What are you doing? Ignore him, you fool!
"This is why. I hate men," Voreka muttered under her breath to Kisame, as if he weren't a man, himself. "Arrogant, close-minded…selfish…" she could've gone on. Except the object of her affections glanced back, and she still valued her life.
And he stopped moving, too.
Crap.
She almost regretted insulting him as he slowly backtracked towards her. Nonetheless, she spoke the truth, something she hardly allowed room for herself to feel regret for doing.
Kisame stepped away.
Itachi's smooth, velvety voice flowed over her. "…That is what you claim, but…" One hand reached out for her, but then apparently rethought it, coming to rest on the front of his high collar instead. Blood red eyes gazed down at her skeptically.
"…In the end, you all want a man strong enough to look after you…To fight for your honor…" he stated softly, his eyes mocking, or as mocking as it would look on his stoic face.
She felt her jaw go slack. She would've preferred him to have hit her or something.
"Not true."
…But I guess I can see where he got that theory.
Top of his class. Popular. Considered to be extremely dashing by the girls. That was what she could make out from the short span of time she lived inside his mind, his memory.
Just like…
…him…
"Not every girl is like what you've seen!" Somehow she found the strength to speak clearly. "Not every girl wants to feel dominated! Eh-"
Voreka stilled as he leaned forward, far enough that she couldn't look up to see his face. The tip of his shoulder brushed her chin.
"…And you?"
don't.scream.don't.scream.
She was sure her heart was beating loud enough for him to hear.
Crap. Say something, or do something dammit! Get him. off.
"Have I ever told you I love your hair?" Voreka asked monotonously.
-
Voreka shivered, but it wasn't from the sight in laid out in front of her.
Obliterated was the word.
Every time he got as close as an arm-span, she felt the urge to scream. She supposed, given the predatory stalking nature of their mission, it was a good thing he didn't get that close, that often.
She could not begin to describe the destruction their precedents left behind. It hurt her mind just looking at their handiwork.
As the other two surveyed the site, she wandered off, knowing that it would take a while.
So, what am I do to, now?
Follow along, of course. She wanted to meet this Naruto, didn't she?
Yes…but…what happens after that?
…
You really think they'll just let you walk away?
She tapped herself on the side of her head to shut herself up.
No problem. She didn't plan on staying around for that long.
I wonder if the other Genins made it back by now. It's past the halfway point already.
Voreka sighed inwardly.
Not even a single moment of peace…
"…Come…we are leaving."
She was waiting for him to get a bit further away before rising to stand, but he halted, and then glanced back, waiting.
"…"
She made to stand, but abruptly sat back down when his eyes flashed at her.
W-what did I do?
They remained fixed in that position until he finally blinked and spoke.
"…Your internal wounds have not closed."
Yes. She knew that; she could still feel chakra leaking. Someone like Waya would be able to find her easily, again.
"If the fever's gone, I can operate." Voreka raised a hand to her forehead as if to demonstrate, but it came in contact with metal instead. Without knowing it, her fingers lightly trailed the long, jagged slash across her headband.
"…"
She might've been embarrassed if only she knew what it was to be embarrassed about.
He didn't look convinced. No, not at all. Well, she supposed it was impossible to tell with him, but still.
Tsch. Why would he care, all of a sudden?
"…The hardest working Genin…?" The black haired shinobi recalled what she claimed thoughtfully.
"I'm not afraid of pain or hardships," she confirmed, but not in a boastful way.
"…Or just…foolish?"
She stared at him.
Rendered absolutely speechless.
You told me I am weak.
I admit that.
You told me I am soft.
Fine. I admit that, as well.
But now you-…mock me for pushing myself?
What the hell do you want from me?
Finally, after much struggle, she found her voice.
"I don't understand you."
And I will not try. So stop trying to mess with my head.
He turned away, much to her relief.
But the topic was not dropped, not just yet.
"…What do you fear?"
"You're asking a lot of questions today…" Voreka muttered to herself.
"…You are afraid to answer them," Itachi observed.
Her eye twitched. Good thing he couldn't see that, with his back to her.
…
Abandonment.
I fear abandonment.
…
She reached to move up her forehead protector further away from her eyes. Suddenly it felt heavy, a burden.
And because you hold that fate in your hands.
…
I fear you.
"Fine. I am a coward as well as everything else you label me as." Crossing her arms, she turned her back to his back.
Why does it…hurt?
"Are you happy, now?"
Do I see…him…looking through at me?
There is no resemblance.
"…He left you, am I right?" Itachi murmured softly.
"…"
She remembered in time that he overheard several conversations in which Haku was mentioned.
"…Heh…Everyone will leave you," he told her in his quiet, hypnotic voice, "…Even those you thought loved you…"
An image of her flashed into her mind. Her.
Her.
Voreka's hands shot to her temples as if trying to block out the pain.
"Stop."
He might've not even heard her breathless whisper.
"…Whichever clan you immerse into…will betray you once you are of no further use."
She spun back to face him, incredulous that he would think that. "No," she dissented.
"…In the end, you will still be alone. Your search for acceptance…is nothing but foolishness. That longing…is your weakness." He half-turned, meeting her wide eyes with his crimson glare.
"…You are weak."
His whispered words, from before.
"…Why are you weak?"
"…What you fear…is abandonment," Itachi continued, causing her to lose her breath, "…Because of this attachment. You fear failure. You hide your drawbacks. For this reason."
…
I…can't even…contradict him…
Who is this man?
"…How foolish," his cold, soft voice flooded her senses. "…What you seek…is not real," he told her calmly, his tone never changing, never changing pace. "…What is the well-being of the whole…is blind to the succor of the individual."
She clenched her fists at her sides, staring fixedly at his shoulder instead of his eyes.
So? I know that.
I don't…care.
"…Where would you go, then, after they turned their backs on you?"
…
It better be a rhetorical question. She had no answer.
"…That is why, such bonds, are your weakness."
"…"
She was never going to complain about his usually silent nature, again.
"…Everyone will leave you," he repeated, "…Only one thing will remain."
"…" Voreka pursed her lips.
"…If you truly wish to be strong. Hate. Despise. Learn to depend on no one."
…
"…You will assist us in our mission, and I will make you…powerful."
…
Like it or not. I think I understand him…a little better…
"Do I-…"
…
"…The only difference between me, and you…"
…
Gathering up enough courage, she met his eyes. "Do I perhaps somehow remind you of yourself?"
His eyes narrowed at her. She blinked and looked away.
"…" "…No. Not at all."
"…"
Expertly avoiding his gaze, Voreka rose to her feet slowly. "I am not…dense. You have a reason for telling me this. You have a reason for bothering with me." Her eyes found the familiar spot on his shoulder. "Am I your…some form of…experiment?"
The wait for his answer was long and awkward, on her part.
"…" "…You are mistaken." He didn't elaborate. There was no telling if he spoke the truth.
"…"
Why was everything so complicated when it came to him?
"Please, let's just go," she pleaded with a resigned sigh.
She started to head back to where they were before she wandered off, but she knew she had to get past him in order to do so. Itachi wasn't someone you could simply brush past and expect to live. Voreka stopped when she was parallel to him, each facing opposite directions.
Neither moved nor spoke for the longest time.
"You don't know me, Uchiha," she whispered confidently. "I am not the same as you."
Her heart rate was not in tune with her breathing. She was getting more than a bit lightheaded.
"…We will see."
She heard him shift.
"Kisame."
Her eyes snapped around in surprise.
"I was uh. Making sure everything is alright, is all."
"…"
You bet she wasn't the only one favoring the shark man with a frown.
"And I didn't want to intrude anything so I waited here…" He returned their looks with a scowl of his own. "So. Are we leaving?"
Voreka replied with a curt, "Yes", simultaneously as Itachi said, "No."
"…"
"So which is it?"
"…Till first light," Itachi decided for the three of them.
Voreka glanced at the sky. Sure enough, it had already taken up an orange hue. They were behind schedule, already.
"I-…"
His red eyes turned to her.
"I said nothing."
-
Heavy footfalls. Not that it was intentionally loud, but neither was he trying not to disturb her rest.
"Voreka."
…
Kisame folded his arms impassively. "You're not asleep."
"I could be," she mumbled. "It's been a long day."
"You are too disturbed to sleep."
Voreka shifted to one side so that she could peer up at him through narrowed eyes. "Now that he's off on watch, I was hoping to actually relax a bit. But I'm guessing you're not going to allow me the luxury, are you?"
"So. You admit to being affected by him."
She rolled onto her face. "You just totally missed my meaning," he heard her muffled reply.
A snort. He lay down across from her, a respectful distance away. She peeked to her side to see he had his back to her. After several seconds' worth of debating with herself, she sighed.
"You wanted to talk to me about something?" she inquired warily.
"Checking to see if you're still sane."
"…Oh."
"Don't want to be asleep next to someone who's lost it."
"…Good point."
"…"
"Just checking to see, because I'm not much of a cook, and I'd like to give Itachi-san a break, ya?"
…
"How is it that…you care about…someone like him?"
"Hm? We're partners."
"…" "That's it?"
He let out a chiding, 'hmph. "Some amateur you are."
She waited.
"When you want to survive in a world such as this, it's not about whom you like, or whom you don't like."
That sounded familiar.
"It's about cooperating with who you work with to achieve your own ends, and trust them well enough to not stab you in the back."
…
I don't…belong in this world.
"That is why," Kisame's flat, drawling voice continued, "If I suspect that you will hinder us in any way. I will not hesitate."
"…I know that."
"Neither will he."
"…That was one line too many."
"Ha!" Kisame exclaimed. "Of all the years that I've known him, he's never revealed as much as he did to you."
…
I don't exactly consider myself fortunate in that.
Although…strangely, it made her curious.
"Was he…referring to himself, you think?"
"Eh. Who knows." A pause. Amusement tinged his next sentence. "Do you care?"
"…" "Kisame-san. You eavesdropper."
"Get some rest," he grunted. "They might be back tomorrow."
…
"As long as I have light, you can't defeat my speed, hmm?"
…
He was right…If Atari came back for her, it would have to be in broad daylight.
By falcon messaging, the new orders would've been exchanged before the night was over.
Perhaps he grudged her for delaying their mission.
"I-…"
…
"…If you truly wish to be strong. Hate. Despise. Learn to depend on no one."
…
He's right about one thing. I can't keep depending on others to save me.
…
"…And you?"
…
No. I am not.
"I will take care of them, next time," Voreka vowed to Kisame's back.