Nameless

ZARA: FOUR MONTHS EARLIER

She didn't know what she was doing. It was easier not to think, just do. Allow her heart to take over, flood her body with righteous blood that she'd never felt the sting of before. If she could blame it on her heart, it was easier. The heart was fickle. The heart lied and tricked and stole. Her brain however, was a finely tuned machine.

She prided herself on being logical above all else. In her line of work, it was essential not to let your emotions rule you. There was too much unsavory work that someone had to get done regardless, and turning yourself off was much easier than dealing with the repercussions.

And she was usually very good at keeping her emotions in check. So she could forgive herself for a brief lapse in control, right? It wasn't like this happened often. Zara rarely let her heart decide anything. And she never let it make her disobey a direct order.

But here she was, letting it drive the skycar with her and the little boy to the wrong shipping port. About forty miles away from the one she was supposed to be dropping the kid off at.

Zara knew Omega like the back of her hand. She knew were all the Eclipse dealers worked out of, who had ties to what gang and where you could get the most money for a smuggling operation. But in knowing that, she also knew the loopholes. And Omega was full of them. She knew the places where the gangs didn't have any eyes or ears.

This port happened to be one of them.

The people who worked out of this back ass dock didn't give a varren's ass about who ran crime in Omega. They didn't answer to anyone but Aria when they made deals here. They were usually there one day, gone the next. Omega was just one of many stops on their travel routes.

It was the perfect place to sneak someone off-world completely undetected. Even Eclipse, who had eyes on almost every ship coming in and out of the station.

"Okay, listen up," she said as she parked the car.

The little boy looked over at her with eager, shining eyes. She made her face hard. She could not be his friend here. It would make it harder.

"You need to do exactly what I say all right?"

The boy nodded. She sighed, smoothed her hands on the thigh plates of her armor, and popped the roof of the skycar.

She climbed out and went around the other side to retrieve the kid. They stood hand in hand in the center of the bustling port. Zara looked freakishly out of place, she noted. She should have at the very least changed her armor.

But there was no time to think about that now. She had to do this quick before anyone stopped long enough to look.

With the boy's tiny hand clasped in her own, she walked into the hub of traffic. Years of experience had taught her to pick out what ships were going where and for what purpose. The big ones were carrying heavy cargo. Weapons, explosives, stuff like that. The smaller ones could be anything from drugs, to food to medicine. Those were her best bet if she wanted this kid safe.

They walked down the strip for a few minutes before she found an older human man loading a crate of food onto a lift. He wiped his brow and jostled the box up a level. He looked like a colonist –the clothes, the bedraggled looking ship, the sun weathered lines of his face. He looked decent enough. She didn't smell the stain of Omega on him yet.

He jumped when he saw her.

"I don't mean no trouble," he glumped.

"Neither do I," Zara said, pulling up her omni-tool, "Where are you headed?"

"Uke Mochi," the man said guardedly.

Perfect. A nice human colony, they'd take care of him.

"I'll pay you six thousand credits to take this boy with you," Zara said.

The words felt hot in her mouth. Her heart slammed in her chest.

The man blinked at her, "Why? What's the catch, lady?"

"Look, I don't have time to explain. There's no catch. Just take him somewhere safe and find him a home or something," she said, on the verge of pleading.

She squeezed the little boys hand quite on accident, and only realized it when she found him squeezing back. Her eyes fell on him. Big cheeks, pretty eyes, a pink smile. This was the right thing to do. If she got her ass chewed out for it, fine. She'd at least be able to sleep at night.

"Six thousand, you say?" the man asked, thumbing at his chin.

"I'll make it eight if you give me your word you'll keep him safe," Zara said, her omni-tool pinging.

"Done," the man said, squatting down to eye-level with the boy, "What's his name?"

Zara paused. She'd been ready to sell this child into servitude and she didn't even know his name. Somewhere he had a family. A mom who had taken care of him, a father, maybe sisters and brothers. Someone who had given him a name. Who had dressed him and fed him. Someone who loved him.

"I…don't know," she said, almost too quiet over the roar of the shipping port.

The man frowned and looked up at her. If he had more questions, he refrained from asking. He merely unlatched the little boys hand from her own and then lifted him up on his hip. The kid made a soft whining sound and reached out an arm to her. Zara locked her jaw. Locked her heart.

"He'll be safe," the man promised.

And his suspicions seemed to subside. Zara wondered if he could see what she was trying so hard to conceal.

"Thank you," she said in a thick voice.

She transferred the credits and then turned, hoping to bleed back into the crowd and avoid any further attention. She heard the little, nameless boy calling out after her. A babble of half-formed words and sad sounds. She shouldered through the crush of people, wishing she couldn't hear anything at all.

When she returned to her skycar she closed herself inside and shut her eyes. A slow exhale deflated her lungs.

"Fuck."

She thought it would be easy to turn her heart off after it was all over. But even has she took to the clogged skies of the city she couldn't help thinking about the kid. Wondering if she'd picked the right ship, if they'd find him a home, or a family. Goddess, when did she turn into such a sap?

She turned on the music, hoping to flush out the memory of the little boy.

It worked after a few minutes.

And after that, she turned it up even louder, hoping to flush out the memory of every one before him she hadn't had the guts to save.