Talk Show with Bartimaeus

Chapter 10: That's All, Folks!

Disclaimers: I don't own anything! GAWD!!

Sorry, but this is probably going to be a short chapter. And...the last! (tear) BUT! I will make a sequel!!

"Dude, Nat...John...You have serious issues," stated Bartimaeus bluntly.

"No. How could you say that? OMG! You're so mean! WAAAAAAAAAAAHH!" Nathaniel cried.

"Oh, suck it up!" yelled Whitwell.

Our wonderful characters plus a hobos' heads were getting a little messed up...okay...A LOT! They seemed to enjoy blurting out whatever came to mind.

Let us observe...

Kitty was hanging upside down from her chair playing ping pong with Jane. They were hitting the ball hard enough to decapitate anyone who got in the way. Watching this game was Bob the hobo. Sure enough, he was eating more of the free food.

Barty was having just a dandy time telling Nat that he had multiple problems with multiple things. Nat was not.

Suddenly Pinn perked up. "Ya know...This reminds me of that one time with the ice cream. Do you remember that Devereaux?" The magician in question shook his head nervously, not wanting to remember. "You don't? Well then...All the more reason to tell everyone!" The Prime Minister nearly fell off his chair at Pinn's optimistic tone. He was about to relive the worst day of his life.

One Hour Later...

Pinn took a deep breath. "And that's why you never trust a Jamaican licorice maker with an ice cream cone on his head, a metal pole in his hand, and a really scary looking smile on his face!"

Everyone's mouths were agape.

Jane giggled. "So that's what you do in your spare time!"

Devereaux just groaned.

Bartimaeus attempted a subject change, "...So...has anyone heard about...uh...something other than this?" He was...unsuccessful.

"HAHAHAHAHA! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!" Nathaniel laughed.

Devereaux's answer was mumbled. "Neither can I..."

Bartimaeus glared down at them through the sound booth window. "They will pay..." he muttered evilly. And with that, he disappeared into the shadows laughing manically.

5 Seconds Later...

BOOM!!

"(cough cough) What...the...hell!?" choked Kitty as the ground shook beneath the guests and audience/fan girls alike. The ceiling caved in to the right of the stage.

"MUAHAHAHAHA!!" was heard somewhere off stage. And Barty walked mysteriously out of the rubble. OOOOooooOOOHH! SUSPICIOS! Ahem...sorry...

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE! I SHALL KILL YOU AAAA-!!" the crazed host ran into a wall before his speech of horror was finished.

"Um...I obviously shouldn't have summoned him to begin with!" stated Nat "smartly" (nudge nudge wink wink)

"And you think of this NOW!?" yelled Whitwell.

"Yes," confirmed Nat. "...Wait! HEY!"

Bartimaeus had passed out, lying on the floor next to a camera.

"Do you think he's okay?" asked Kitty nervously.

"Does it matter?" said Pinn. "He's just a worthless djinni!"

Barty miraculously awoke. "NOOOO! YOU'RE JUST A WORTHLESS MAGICIAN!!"

And right before the explosion, you could hear Nathaniel say, "Magicians aren't worthless..."

Then, as mentioned before, the studio blew up. And everyone died! Except Bartimaeus... 'Cuz he's cool like that!

"That's all, folks!" screamed Barty over the enormous boom. "If you survive, which you won't, maybe I'll see ya again!! MUAHAHA!"

Thank you to all of those faithful readers of this book! It's finally...OVER!! tear Okay...so the last chapter sucked...but I mean come on! Jamaican licorice maker with an ice cream cone, metal pole, and creepy smile! You can't beat it!! Anyway...About the aforementioned sequel...I'm going to write a fic about a talk show, hosted by...guess who...MOI! The guests? None other than the mentioned demons-err-spirits in the books! It will be called Good Morning London! Read it! It'll be better than this one with my newly perfected writing skills! YAYZ! Let the insanity begin! Tell me what you think in your reviews...that's right...revieeews. Who would have thought of that!? Ahem...Thanks for reading! Hoped you liked it!

Bartimaeus: Of course they liked it!

Me: I know! I'm SUCH a good writer! Thank you! No autographs, please!

Bartimaeus: NO! I mean...Cuz I was in it! (strikes a pose)

Me yeah...sure...Thanks again! See you in the sequal!!