So happy with your reviews - we're over 600! I loved writing the part about Carlisle. Just wait…It plays out hysterically in a few chapters. Anyway, enough teasing. Let's meet the nerds!

SMeyer owns. I merely borrow.

\\\

10. The Dating Game

Jasper looked out the front picture window and saw a minivan pull up the driveway. He slapped Edward on the leg and motioned toward the driveway. When they saw the two young men jump out of the van, they nonchalantly rose from the couch where they were watching the Cowboys and the Redskins while playing a game of Monopoly with the group and slipped out the front door to confront the pretend boyfriends to make it clear that they were pretend boyfriends.

Jasper closed the door behind them, and the two Cullens sauntered down the sidewalk to meet the young men who appeared as if they were going into shock. "Gentlemen," Jasper greeted.

The two sixteen year-old boys appeared as if they wanted to puke, so Edward pulled Jasper back a bit. Jasper was six-foot, two-inches without standing up straight. The boys they were observing were barely taller than Alice and Bella.

Edward took in the sight of the two and surmised who was who based on their attire. "You're Ben, I'd guess, and you're Eric. I'm Edward, Ben, and Bella's with me. Eric, that's Jasper. Alice is with him. So, let's lay down some ground rules for this thing. First, you will always treat them with respect. You're allowed to touch them on the elbow, or hold their hand, but only if absolutely necessary."

"Second, we'll be paying your salaries, so you'll do this the way we say. We want phone numbers and addresses from both of you. The dates will be double dates, and understand, if you lay a hand on either of them besides the elbow or a hand, we will find out. We've got people all over this town watching you, so you'd better play your cards right or we'll come back and make believers out of you," Jasper threatened.

Edward saw them both look back at the van as if they were judging their chances of making it to the van before they both passed out, and he knew they'd come a little strong. "Jasper's just overly protective. Here's how this is going to go…" Edward began. He outlined expected behavior and things that would need to take place, throwing out incentives for the boys to play along. At the end of the discussion, they'd reached an agreement, and as they showed the boys into the house, they all felt a little better about the agreement. They even shook on it.

##

Unbeknownst to anyone in the Cullen house, Rosalie Whitlock had gone upstairs to take care of personal business. The bathroom she used when she stayed at the grand home was just over the driveway, one story up. She saw the two young men hurry out of the rusted minivan, and she saw Edward and Jasper appear on the driveway to greet them.

She cracked the window to listen to the conversation, and when it was finished, she smiled. She knew there was more to Jasper and Edward's behavior than met the eye, and while she understood the hurdles, she was supportive of the relationships because she'd always loved Bella and Alice.

The nosey woman inside her wanted details, but for the time being, she planned to simply observe and do her best to keep Emmett's mind occupied with other things. They'd walked in on a tense situation earlier in the day which set off her radar. At least she knew she wasn't losing her touch.

##

"Hi, guys," Bella greeted when Eric and Ben rang the front doorbell. She'd raced for it when she saw Ben's old van pull up the driveway, but she saw Jasper and Edward walk out the door to speak with them before she could get there. She didn't know what was said, but she saw the two young men appeared to be quite nervous.

"You, um, you look nice, Bella," Ben remarked as he walked inside, adjusting his tie under a brown sweater vest. He had on a white shirt, blue tie, brown vest, and black slacks. Bella groaned a bit and immediately pulled off the blue tie before anyone saw them. "Save it," she hissed as she handed him the tie which he balled up and shoved in his pants pocket.

She didn't mean to sound so harsh, but in her opinion, they had a very small window for the boys to meet the parents, make coherent small talk, and then get the hell out of the room before the two of them became statues. Compliments or any conversation, really, should be saved for when it could be witnessed by Mary, Charlie, and Esme. "Sorry. I didn't mean to sound like a bitch, but it's best to save things like that for when we have witnesses."

Eric Yorkie was a whole other animal. He was wearing a rust-colored, corduroy suit, vest and all. He had on a yellow shirt and a green tie. The jacket was large enough Alice believed it could have fit Emmett, so she pulled it off of him immediately, followed by the vest and tie, complaining the whole time. "We will be shopping. You will learn how to dress and present a well-groomed package. You're a cute guy. When this is done, there won't be a girl at Forks High who won't want to jump you. Well except me. Now, my mother's in there and Bella's dad. Keep your heads high and smile. We'll do the talking. Ready?" she asked each boy. They nodded in sync.

The girls grabbed each boy's hand and dragged them into the kitchen where dessert was being served. "Everyone these are our good friends…" Bella began.

"She's shy. These are our boyfriends, Ben and Eric. Eric, sweetie, this is my mom, Mary," Alice introduced. She felt she was quite convincing in her introduction until she saw the look on Jasper's face. He was moving his hand across his chin and looking at her with a small smile.

Alice turned to look at Eric and saw a tiny little piece of bloody toilet paper stuck to the boy's chin. She reached up as if to turn him to look at her and plucked it away. She kissed Eric on the cheek for effect, but she could have sworn she'd heard a growl across the room. She also felt Eric jerk away, which wouldn't do anything to convince the astute Mary Brandon that there was an attraction between the two young people.

She jerked his arm and saw fear in his eyes for a moment. When she turned back to look at the room, she saw Jasper looking smug. Apparently, threats had been issued, and there was a discussion that would take place later in the evening between Alice and Jasper.

"It's nice to meet you boys. We were just about to have dessert. There's pumpkin, pecan, and apple pie. Name your poison," Esme gushed as she pulled the pies out.

"Pecan? As in nuts? I'm allergic to nuts. My throat closes..." Ben began coughing and backed out of the kitchen pulling Bella with him.

"We'll be back," she tossed out to the room as she dragged him into the sunroom. When he pulled out an inhaler, she wasn't surprised in the least.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know. Are you okay?" she asked nervously as the boy settled into a wicker chair, head between his knees.

He finally caught his breath and sat up. "Look, Bella, it's a little scary because I've never dated anybody before, pretend or not. I'll be fine. Will Mrs. Cullen be offended if I don't have pie?"

"Goodness, no. Not at all. How about ice cream?" she offered.

"Lactose intolerant. Are you sure you want me to do this? We have nothing in common, you and me," Ben answered.

"That's why you're perfect for this. I certainly don't want you to be compatible with my girlfriend," Bella heard from behind as she felt an arm around her waist and soft lips on her cheek.

Bella swung around to look at him, surprised at his statement. "You were willing to throw in the towel not four hours ago. How the hell did we get here?"

Edward laughed. "I was never willing to throw in the towel. I was just reminding you how hard this is going to be. Now that I've talked to Ben here, I think things might be a lot easier than I ever thought. Come on, Ben, I'm sure Mom has cookies or something. We've got old school pinball machines in the game room downstairs. I think you should use the john before you go back in the kitchen. Charlie wants to talk to you."

Bella elbowed him in the gut which caused him to laugh. The whole scene was somewhat a comedy of errors, but if the end result was she and Edward would end up together, the affair was worth the chaos.

##

Everyone was preparing to leave. Hugs were being exchanged around the room with thank yous for the exquisite meal. Ben and Eric had left at nine, and Bella and Alice had endured the grilling they both dreaded, but most of it was from Jasper and Edward. Bella had noticed Carlisle laughing a lot more than usual.

"Call me after Charlie goes to sleep, please," Edward whispered into her ear as he hugged her chastely in front of everyone. She simply nodded her head and moved on to hugging Emmett.

"Bells, he seems like a nice kid, but seriously? You can do way better than that guy," Emmett commented quietly.

Rosalie pulled him away, having heard his observation. "I think he's cute. I'd even bet he fills the bill right now. Maybe we can all get together over Christmas break." She winked at Bella, leaving her feeling uneasy. She knew in her heart Rosalie knew more was going on, but she was grateful the statuesque blonde said nothing more. It was truly a blessing.

The car ride with Charlie was quiet. He seemed to be stewing on something, and it was driving her crazy, so she took a deep breath. "So, what did you think of Ben?"

"Um, what?"

"I asked you what you thought of Ben. He's a great guy," she reiterated.

"Oh, that Cheney kid? Yeah, he seems safe enough. Did Mary seem to be acting funny? She, um, she mentioned you girls were busy tomorrow night. Something about a movie date. She invited me to dinner. What do you think that means?" her father asked. Bella held in the laugh, seeing she and Alice were guessing right when it came to Mary and Charlie.

"I think, Chief, you just got asked on a date." She saw him ponder it and smile as he pulled into the driveway.

Before they exited the car, he turned on the dome light and looked at her with a smile. "Would it bother you if I called her tomorrow and took her up on her offer?"

"Heck no." Bella smiled. Even if she and Edward didn't stand the test of time, maybe something good could come of all of the scheming. Charlie might find someone with whom to spend time, and if that was the only relationship to come out of all of the planning, plotting, and conniving, that was fine.

They went into the house, said their good-nights, and after Bella went through her bedtime ritual, she settled in her bed and called Edward. "Hi, Scout." It warmed her heart to hear his words.

"So, what did you think of Ben. He's perfect for this, right?" she asked anxiously.

"I think so. Who's Angela Weber?" Edward asked.

Bella ran the name through her mind and came up with the girl who was on the yearbook staff. Her face was always hidden behind the camera, but Bella thought she was cute. "She's a junior. She works on the yearbook, why?"

"Ben's obsessed with her. You need to talk to her and see if you can fix them up. Anyway, the date for the movies tomorrow night? Yeah, they're going to drop you two off at the diner. We'll pick you up there and we can do anything you girls would like. What's your curfew?" Edward asked her.

She was still stuck at the point where she was going out with Edward on Friday night, especially in light of what her Friday would entail. "It's nice that you asked," she chided. She knew he had a strong personality, but hers was strong as well, and she wasn't willing to surrender control. They would be equals in the relationship or it would never work.

"Sorry. That was kinda shitty. Would you please go out with me tomorrow night?" he asked sweetly.

She chuckled. "Better. I'd love to, and regarding a curfew, I don't actually have one."

She heard him sigh over the line. "What's wrong now?"

After a few seconds, he spoke. "Nothing's wrong, Bella. It's just that I want to spend every minute with you, and you telling me you don't have a curfew makes it harder to remember my manners. It's not you, it's me. Please, don't worry. Think about what you'd like to do tomorrow night and talk to Alice. We'll have to go to PA or Sequim if you want to go to dinner, but we'll make it work."

She worried he was, yet again, ready to give up. "I told you earlier, you don't have to do this, Edward."

"Stop. Yes, I do have to do this. Any date Ben takes you on after I leave on Sunday, and he will take you out, those are dates from me. Isn't the Winter Formal coming up?"

Bella had seen posters all over school, but she didn't want to go. If Edward couldn't be her date, she definitely didn't want to go. "It's weekend after next. I'm not going."

"You should go. Ben's willing to take you, and you should do all of those things typical high school girls do, Bella. I swear, if I could take you, I'd be there and do it. I'll make these things up to you, but he's not a bad guy and I think you'd enjoy it. Please go," he told her.

She wanted to say no, but in truth, she knew she shouldn't miss out on those high school experiences. Just because she was falling for a boy in college didn't mean she shouldn't experience the regular high school rites of passage…the good and the bad. But, knowing she shouldn't didn't mean she actually had interest in them.

##

"I swear this has been the most humiliating day of my life," Alice whispered from the backseat of Esme's Cadillac CTS on Friday afternoon. They'd endured the sex versus love tutorial from Mary and Esme. They'd gone shopping and had lunch, and they just wanted to get home to shower and get ready for their fake and real dates.

"How many double dates will we have to put up with?" Alice whispered sounding as happy about it as Bella felt.

"Has J hit you up about the Winter Formal? E guilted me into going. I don't want to go, but he's pushing some sort of bucket list of high school bullshit not to miss. How do we get out of it?" Bella asked quietly.

"Actually, I think we should go. Trust me, I'm not thrilled about my date either, but they're going back to school, and we can't stagnate, Bell. We need to live, and hell, they're still going to go to parties and hang out with friends. We have to do the same. I'm not saying we forget them, but we have to live," Alice whispered.

Bella knew she was right, but she wasn't exactly excited at the prospect. Just as she was about to fall into a funk, she felt the secret cell phone vibrate in her pocket. She pulled it out and tilted toward the door, looking out the window for a minute as she opened the text.

When are you getting home? I miss you. You have two dates tonight, Scout. Cheney's picking you up at six, dropping you off at the diner at six-o-four. I've clocked it. Oh, Alice and Jasper won't be coming with us. Miss you…E

Bella heard Alice's phone vibrate a minute later, so she leaned forward to distract Esme and Mary. "So, are we all clear on this?" She meant the discussion they'd had earlier regarding the fact Bella and Alice weren't yet ready for the next step in their relationships, but they wanted the option to consider it and the protection if the decision was made.

"As I said before, I'll support you in anything you want, but I just don't see you and Ben being on the same page. He's a lovely boy, Bella, but I've known you a long time, and it just seems a stretch," Esme commented.

"Oh, if Ben's a stretch for you, Eric's a bend and stretch for Alice. I don't know what you girls see, but I'll go along with it. You have dates tonight, right?" Bella tried to hide her smile at the fact her father and Mary were having dinner together, but it was nearly impossible.

"We do."

"Well, see how it goes before you let things get further than you're comfortable. Now, um, what time are they picking you up and who's driving?" Mary asked as she checked her watch nervously, in Bella's opinion.

"Six. Um, why doesn't Alice get ready at my house and she can spend the night with me after the date. We're all going together anyway. What's her curfew for a date?" Bella asked, turning to see the bright smile on Alice's face.

Mary looked at Esme, who had a huge smile on her face as well. "I'd say eleven. Um, yeah, eleven. I'm having a friend from work over for dinner and a girls' night, so you girls call me from the house phone when you get to your dad's," Mary suggested.

Bella met Esme's eyes in the rearview mirror and saw her wink. "Charlie will be home, won't he Bella?" Alice snorted loudly at the comment. Bella had, of course, told Alice about her mother inviting Charlie over for dinner, but Mary hadn't mentioned it to her daughter. Bella and Alice had definitely mentioned it to Esme.

"Actually, Esme, he told me he's got a poker game tonight at Officer Stevens' house. Isn't Carlisle going?" Bella baited. Esme laughed again.

"Oh, I'd bet he is. Mary, can I join your girls' night? Jasper and Edward are going to a party or something, and Rosalie and Emmett mentioned something about staying in, to which I really don't want to bear witness. I'd love to have a good old-fashion girls' night," Esme taunted.

Mary looked around the car frantically, and when Alice burst out laughing again, followed by Esme and Bella, she sighed heavily. "Fine, you all know. I asked him last night, but he was hesitant to accept, so I just figured he had something else going on. Then, this morning, he called me at six-thirty for craps' sakes and told me his plans had fallen through and asked if my offer still stood. I said yes, but now I'm wondering if this is such a good idea. I think I might cancel. I'll just tell him…"

"Why? Is there some rule against two friends getting together for dinner?" Esme then launched into a conversation regarding Mary branching out of her comfort zone, which led the girls to believe they could speak quietly without being noticed.

"J said we're not doubling," Alice whispered.

"I know. Where are you going?"

"I don't know. I've never been on a date before, remember?" Alice responded.

Bella nodded, knowing the full weight of Alice's words. This would actually be their first solo dates with the Brothers Cullen, and both girls were extremely anxious.

\\\

So, that didn't last long, did it? Next up, we find out how the plans were scrapped. I'm so effing happy you're enjoying the plotting and scheming. There's more to come, I promise.

Thanks for reading.

Till next time…xoxo