YES! Finished two full chapters! WOOHOO! *ahem* ... ... *sweatdrop*
CHAPTER 3-1
April 1867
The seasons changed, and spring came.
Kyoto was filled with the cherry blossoms, and the whole city took on a festive atmosphere.
Surrounded by the gentle cheer of spring, my footsteps felt somehow lighter.
Okita watched me prance about with a crooked smile.
"You don't need to hurry. We aren't going anywhere in particular. Just think of it as a nice relaxing walk."
"…Okay. I'll be careful."
It seemed to me that it was dangerous for a captain of the Shinsengumi to think that when he was out on patrol, but I didn't dare say anything to Okita.
Then again, things had been pretty quiet lately. Perhaps he was right.
No, I told myself, I had to focus. Now was not the time or the place for high spirits.
Nearby I noticed a few ronin who slunk off into the side streets at the first glimpse of the Shinsengumi.
"How suspicious…"
Why run away unless they knew they were guilty of something?
I stared after them intently and must have looked as if I was about to give chase because Okita gave a bark of laughter.
"Don't waste your energy on them. They're small potatoes."
"Really?"
"If they were Choshu guys, then they wouldn't just run off like that. They'd be more confident."
He glanced back in the direction of the cowardly ronin.
"They guys who take off like that when we show up are almost always just small-time punks."
"I see…"
I didn't.
"They're probably guilty of something; maybe some minor crime. But the blues scare off a lot of people these days."
"The uniform's gotten pretty famous around Kyoto, hasn't it?"
He frowned.
"Well, could be infamous, depending on who you ask."
It was true: The Shinsengumi blues brought recognition, but that was a double-edged sword. Sometimes they commanded obedience or respect, but sometimes the response was…less pleasant.
Their uniform had become a symbol, but there was some argument among the Shinsengumi as to whether or not they should adopt a new uniform.
Some people, such as Itou, just felt that the uniform should be changed because it wasn't fashionable…
"Is Itou back from the imperial territories yet?"
Okita's eyes narrowed slightly.
"Yeah, I think so. Can't say I'd have minded if he'd just stayed out there, though."
"He went to go recruit some of his friends and acquaintances, right?"
He closed his eyes, seeming annoyed.
"That's what he says, but I gotta wonder how far he really went, you know?"
"How far? What do you mean? If he went out past the imperial territories, then he must really care about the Shinsengumi, right?"
After all, to go that far would be quite a trip to make just to get more recruits.
Okita, however, didn't seem to think so.
"That's what you think?"
"…Am I wrong?"
"No, not really."
Okita stopped and gazed off into space for a moment.
When he spoke, it was to himself.
"Kondou's too nice. He should just kill Itou."
"Okita!"
He had a tendency to talk of killing too easily, and too lightly, but…
"How could you joke about killing one of your companions?"
He let his eyes slide to mine, and gave me a small sigh.
"A companion, huh?"
The scorn in his voice wasn't for me; it was for Itou.
Ever since he had forst arrived, Okita and the rest of the captains had never seemed to like Itou much, but I was surprised that he would say something like that where anyone could have heard.
I glanced around, to make sure no one had been paying attention-
"What?"
There, in the crowd… A face I'd seen before.
Kaoru?!
The face that looked back could easily have been mine. There was no way I could have ever mistaken that face.
But no sooner had I spotted her than she disappeared, melting into the crowd.
"Kaoru!"
"Hey!"
Okita made a grabbed from my arm, but I'd already moved out of his reach.
I might get in trouble for it, but if I didn't go quickly, I'd lose her.
"Sorry Okita! There's something I have to do!"
I caught a glimpse of his confused face as I ducked into the crowd.
…
"How many time do I have to tell her not to run off without permission… Why can't she look at this from my point of view?"
...
*Pant* *Pant* *Pant*
I ran through the crowd as fast as I could, bobbing and weaving around citizens going about their business, until at last I caught up to her.
She was Kaoru, no mistake.
"Um, Kaoru? Do you remember me…?"
"Yes, you were with the Shinsengumi. I remember you."
She looked…surprised.
"You ran after me so suddenly… It scared me."
"I'm sorry about that, but there's something I wanted to ask you."
I realized belatedly that I didn't know what I planned to do with her answer once I had it, but I knew I had to ask.
"One of the Shinsengumi saw a girl who looked like me at the Sanjo Ohashi Bridge a while ago. Could that have been…you?"
"I don't know. I do go by Sanjo Ohashi fairly often. Is that a problem?"
She laughed politely.
"Oh…"
"Did you want to ask if I'd even been there at night?"
Could it be?
Could Kaoru really have been the girl who interrupted the Shinsengumi that night?
"If it was an autumn night, and you got in the Shinsengumi's way…"
"Then you and I are gonna need to have a little talk. I don't want to give away all the details, but it ends with your death."
"Oh! Okita…"
I hadn't realized he caught up with me so quickly.
Kaoru glanced at him and smiled.
"Oh, you're Okita, from the Shinsengumi. Thank you for helping me the other day."
She bowed, but Okita didn't even seem to notice.
"So, you gonna answer the question? Were you there that night?"
Okita wore the save half-smile he always did, but his body was as tight as a bowstring, ready to have his blade in hand at a moment's notice.
"My death…? Please, don't say scary things like that."
She paused, her expression blank.
"Lots of people pass by Sanjo Ohashi during the day."
"At night, though… I don't go near it, because of the notice board stuff."
It was almost as if she'd read my mind.
"I can't believe you suspect me just because my face happens to look like someone else's. I don't know anything…"
I sighed and smiled.
"Oh, of course! I understand!"
She looked so sad, I felt I had to say something.
"I knew it wasn't you."
After all, how could a normal girl do anything to the men of the Shinsengumi?
Okita seemed less convinced. His eyes shifted to me.
"And why do you say that? Because she's a girl? Or because she looks like you?"
"No, that's…that's not it…"
I couldn't bring myself to admit that he was exactly right.
I'd assumed Kaoru couldn't possibly have done it, simply because she was girl.
"Can I go now? …Excuse me."
"Kaoru…"
She turned and ducked away, disappearing back into the crowd.
Had I done the right thing, I wondered, in covering for her? I was pondering whether or not I should give chase again when I heard okita begin to cough.
"*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"
"Okita?! A-Are you okay?!"
He was bent nearly double, and coughing uncontrollably, his entire body shaking with each cough.
"Okita?!"
"Stay back!"
As I stepped toward him, he threw out a hand and twisted his face upward to glare at me.
"What?!"
"*Cough* *Cough* I'm...I'm fine. So just...stay there, okay? *Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"
It was the sheer force of his personality that stopped me, not just his words.
"*Cough* *Cough* *Cough*"
After a while, his coughing slowed, then subsided entirely.
"Okita… Is something wrong?"
"Like what?"
When he turned to look at me this time, his sardonic half-smile was back. He looked every part the usual Okita, except that he had grown frighteningly pale.
"I mean… Why don't we find somewhere to rest? You looked like you were in a lot of pain…"
He grinned.
"Oh, I was just tired. I mean, you did make me run all the way here."
"But…"
"No buts, I'm fine. Now…"
His expression was suddenly hard.
"About the girl. Asking her about the thing with the notice board was important. I agree with you."
Good, then. We needed to know if she was an enemy of the Shinsengumi or not. I needed to know.
"But even-no, because of how important that is, you shouldn't have run off on your own like that. What if she had been an enemy of ours. Could you have handled her?"
"Well…"
"Did you even consider that possibility? That she'd planned to lure you here? It's a great spot for an ambush, you know."
"…You're right."
She hadn't tried to attack me, but Okita was right. Next time I might not be so lucky: I could have easily run right into a trap.
"You need to be more careful, all right? I can take care of you, but without me around you're just a useless kid."
"…Sorry."
The Shinsengumi had done so much for me, I'd just wanted to give something back…
Instead, I'd only caused more trouble for them.
"…All right, lecture's over."
Okita looked tired, and more than a little frustrated. I tried to apologized again, but he cut me off.
"Stop being so timid. You can rely on us when you need to."
He smiled then.
"I've gotten pretty used to saving your ass at this point. A couple more times isn't going to mean much."
He let out a snort of laughter.
…
That night, after everyone else had gone to bed, I lay awake thinking about what had happened.
I couldn't forget what Okita had said…
"A useless kid…"
He was right.
Compared to the captains-no, even compared to the weakest Shinsengumi footsoldier, I was pathetic.
There was nothing I could do for them. It wasn't as if I'd tried to imagine myself as some sort of warrior, but to have my lack of worth so bluntly stated was something of a blow.
"*Sigh*"
I lay there, staring at the ceiling.
I couldn't go on like this.
"Tomorrow I start working harder.
I didn't want to run off on more pointless adventures that did nothing more than cause trouble.
That meant I needed to develop better judgement.
"And if I'm going to do that, I need my sleep."
But no sooner had I closed my eyes-
"What?!"
There was a crash from the hallway outside of my room. I rolled up and out of my bed just as the door exploded into my room.
Standing in the hole was one of the Shinsengumi's soldiers.
"Um… Is something wrong?"
It was dark, inside and out, and I couldn't see his face. He just…stood there. I felt a chill run up my spine.
"Did you need something?"
"Blood… I need blood…"
"*Gasp*"
He was one of the furies!
"Eh hehehehe! Give me blood!"
I could see now that his face was twisted in madness, and his eyes shone like twin fires in the night. His hair glistened white in the moonlight.
He was a member of the Fury Corps, and he was utterly and completely mad.
"Uh… Aaah…"
I had to call for help!
I couldn't possibly face a deranged superhuman monster on my own.
…No, I couldn't call for help. if I did, then the secret of the furies would get out.
That would be bad for the Shinsengumi. I had to find another way.
The fury, unfortunately, was not similarly encumbered by doubts.
"Aaah!"
"Graaah!"
His sword hissed through the air, and I felt the metal of its blade burn into the flesh of my arm.
"Gaaah!"
Blood sprang from the cut.
I pressed down on it desperately with my free hand, but to no avail. Thick, red liquid spilled between my fingers, fled down my arm, and onto the floor.
"Yesss…blood… Give me blood…"
He began to creep toward me, his movements odd and jerky, like a massive spider.
I backed away from him until I felt my back hit the wall.
I was going to die!
Suddenly, I remembered Okita's words from earlier that day…
"Stop being so timid. You can rely on us when you need to."
That was it, then. My death wasn't worth their secret.
"Someone! Help!"
"Eh hehehehe! Blood! Bloooooood!"
He was down on his hands and knees, licking my spilt blood off the floor.
There was no samurai there. There wasn't even a person in him anymore.
The blood on the floor had distracted him, but I knew that would only last precious seconds. I help didn't arrive soon..
The seconds went by like hours.
Please, I begged to any god who might be listening, let someone come!
"Not enough…not enough!"
He looked up from the floor.
My sleeve was soaked in blood from the cut on my arm. His eyes locked onto it, and I saw them light up with animal hunger.
His grin was a nightmarish thing.
"Eh hehehehe! Yes! That! Give me more of your blood!"
"Nooo!"
There was no doubt: He was going to kill me! I froze-
"Hey! You alive?!"
"Yes!"
Hijikata had appeared in the doorway, his sword already drawn and shining in the moonlight.
"Graah!"
The fury spun to attack Hijikata, but the commander's sword was faster.
"Aaaarghh!"
His twisted cry reverberated from the walls of the room, but he still stood, despite the wound Hijikata had given him, sword in hand.
"Get over here! Now!"
"Y-Yes!"
As I ran to his side, I heard other footsteps, pounding down the hallway, and in mere moments they resolved into the figures of the other captains.
"Shit, this is bad," said Nagakura, his eyes wide. "I don't think he can even understand us."
Harada nodded grimly.
"Yeah. He's too far gone. We can't let him live."
At some unspoken signal, a chorus of blades slid from their scabbards.
"Shin! Sano! Don't screw this up!" joked Heisuke.
Harada smirked and narrowed his eyes.
"Who the hell do you think we are, Heisuke?!"
Nagakura scoffed.
"If the captains can't take out a simple soldier, even if he is a fury, he'd have to resign. Assuming he wasn't dead."
They fanned out quickly, surrounding the wounded soldier.
There was no escape.
The captains all attacked at once, and the fury died almost instantly.
The excitement was over.
…Or so I'd thought.
But it hadn't been only the captains who'd heard my cry for help.
"What's going on here?!"
Hijikata scowled.
"Dammit!"
"What on Earth happened to that man?! Oh, this room has been stained with blood! How savage!"
Itou's voice and his face where filled with shock and horror.
"Why have our captains cut down on of their own men? Explain this at once! What happened here?!"
The captains fell silent.
"My apologies. My lack of discipline is at fault here."
"Sanan?!"
His appearance surprised me, and likely everyone else.
It seemed like it would have been more prudent for him to remain hidden…
Needless to say, the appearance of a man he'd thought dead did little to improve Itou's disposition.
"S-S-S-Sanan?! What are you doing here?!"
Itou's usual composure was almost entirely gone, and he gaped openly at Sanan.
I couldn't really blame him. I probably would have done much the same thing if I saw a dead man walking and talking.
"I will explain later, but first we must clean up this mess."
Sanan's face looked tight and drained. As the commander of the Fury Corps, he likely felt responsible for what had happened, as the man who had gone mad was supposed to have been under his control.
"It's not your fault, Sanan." said Nagakura.
Heisuke nodded.
"It's just a side effect of the treatment, right? Nothing you could do."
"Wh-What?! What are you saying?! 'Treatment'? What are they talking about, Sanan?"
"…I'm afraid I cannot divulge that information."
Sanan's gaze slid to Itou for a moment, but he said nothing further.
After all, what could he possibly say? How could one admit that they had been creating inhuman monsters in secret, out of one's own soldiers?
Itou's composure regained at last, he leveled a glare at Sanan.
"I was told that Sanan had passed away, and with no reason to doubt that information I believed that was true. i see now that you have all conspired against me."
He sighed and then narrowed his eyes.
"I am the Deputy Commander of the Shinsengumi! To do all of…this without informing me… I dearly hope you have a satisfactory explanation!"
"If all you're gonna do is bitch, why don't you do us all a favor and shut up?" snapped Hijikata.
"What?! How dare you speak to me in such a manner! Hijikata, you-!"
"Calm down now, Itou…"
Kondou glanced at Hijikata then back to Itou.
"I'm sure Toshi didn't mean to snap. We're just all a little on edge right now. You have to understand…"
"Oh, I understand all right! I understand that you are savages, each and every one of you! I cannot abide the company of such uncivilized cretins any longer!"
He glanced at Sanan and narrowed his eyes in anger.
"And as for you, Sanan, when you are finished here I expect to hear why you are not, in fact, deceased, and why this was hidden from me!"
"Ugh…"
"Are you listening to me, Sanan?!"
"Unnnnngghh…gaaaaagh!"
"Sanan?"
Suddenly I realized he wasn't just being dismissive of Itou; there was something very wrong with him. his face was twisted in pain, and he didn't seem to respond at all, no matter how much I shouted his name.
Nagakura stared at him with wide eyes.
"What's wrong, Sanan?"
"Sanan, uh…"
"Chizuru, get back!" shouted Hijikata.
"Wha-?!"
His hair had begun to turn white.
"Aaah!"
By the time I realized what was happening, it was too late. Sanan's hand shot out like an angry snake, and closed around my wrist.
"O-Oww…"
The strength of his grip was unbelievable. His fingers might have been made of stone for all I could move them. I could almost feel the bones of my arm begin to bend under the strain.
"Ow…ugh… Sanan?!"
"Blood…this blood…"
His finger pressed against my arm, too hard, wiping off some of the blood from the cut the soldier had given me.
"Please, give me blood. Your blood…"
"Noooo! Let me go!"
"Stop it, Sanan," snapped Harada.
Nagakura glanced around the room and then at my arm.
"Dammit! The smell of blood's driving him crazy!"
"Let her go, Sanan," barked Heisuke.
Each man still had his hand on his sword, but I could see the hesitation in their eyes. It was Hijikata who finally spoke.
"Hold him down! We're gonna have to get a little rough."
Nagakura unsheathed his sword.
"Dammit! Guess we don't have a choice."
"Sorry about this, Sanan," said Harada with a frown.
"I can't let you hurt Chizuru."
They moved into a circle around Sanan, their blades glinting.
"Are you going to kill Sanan?! I can't allow you to do that!"
"Itou, it's dangerous here. We should just leave this to Toshi and the guys. Come on."
"Kondou? What are you-?! Unhand me!"
Kondou pulled a struggling Itou from the room and off down the hall.
"Good," said Harada, "Now we've just gotta take care of him."
"It's not gonna be easy." said Nagakura.
"Sanan's always been pretty strong," said Heisuke, "And now he's…well, you know."
"Eh heheheh… Blood, yes… My body, it needs the blood…"
His tongue flickered out to lick my blood from his fingers.
This seemed to tip Heisuke's concern into full on rage.
"All right, that's enough! C'mon Shin! Sano! Let's go!"
Harada nodded.
"We all attack together-!"
"Wait!"
Nagakura stared at Hijikata like he was crazy.
"What? We don't have all night, Hijikata."
"He's…he's doing something…"
"…Graaaagh…nnnggaaaah!"
"Sanan…? What's going on?"
"Unn…guh… What…what happened?"
The madness was gone from Sanan's eyes, and his hair was quickly fading back to its normal color.
"…Sanan?"
"Yukimura? What am I doing here…?"
"Oh, thank goodness! You're yourself again!"
I was relieved to see they hadn't been forced to cut Sanan down, but… Why had he returned to normal?
Harada clearly was wondering the same thing.
"What the hell just happened?"
He glanced at Nagakura who just shrugged.
"Your guess is as good as mine."
They both glanced at Hijikata.
"Hell if I know."
The captains weren't the only ones confused: Sanan himself seemed to be just as surprised at his sudden transformation.
"I see. So I went mad, just like the others…"
"…And then all of a sudden you were normal again. I just can't understand how…"
"How…? I…I don't know."
Hijikata placed a hand on Sanan's shoulder.
"We can figure that out later. First we need to clean up this room. Someone get rid of that body."
Harada glanced down.
"That floor mat's gonna have to go."
"And we're gonna have to replace this door…" said Nagakura.
Each of them moved to begin some task that needed doing and Hijikata turned toward me.
"You…"
"Yes, of course. I'll help too-"
He narrowed his eyes and frowned.
"You're hurt. What you need to do is rest."
He closed his eyes.
"Since you obviously can't use your room, you can stay in mine for tonight."
"Your room? Are you sure?"
He glanced at me and narrowed his eyes again.
"Do I have a choice? Go!"
"Y-Yes!"
I had no desire to remain in the blood-soaked room any longer than I had to. It took me only minutes to reach Hijikata's room.
…
"…Huh? Is it morning already…?"
The sun was peeking through the window, and outside I could hear twitters and chirps of birdsong.
"Oh, right…"
The room I was in wasn't mine.
It took me a moment to remember whose room it was, and then all the events of the previous night crowded back into my memory.
I saw, vividly, the man who'd gone mad with bloodlust; felt the sting as his sword bit into my arm-
"I got cut…"
I looked down at my arm.
I'd wrapped it in bandages the night before, after insisting that I could handle it myself, being the daughter of a doctor.
Slowly, I lifted it, then moved it in a circle.
The cut had bled a lot, but fortunately it hadn't been particularly deep.
"*Sigh*"
I moved my arm some more.
It didn't hurt.
"It bled so much, though…"
With deliberate care, I unwrapped the bandages.
"…Of course."
What had been an ugly, open wound the night before was now little more than a faint white line.
In a few days, even that would be gone.
"Well, I guess it's good that the wound is gone, but if anyone sees this…"
After some thought, I re-wrapped the bandages. Unless they took them off, no one would know that my arm was completely healed underneath.
That reminded me, however… How were they doing?
I was awake, so I figured I might as well go out to the common room and see if anyone was there.
…
As I neared the entrance, Itou appeared, on his way out. Heisuke and Saito followed in his wake, much to my confusion.
"Good morning."
"Oh, it's you. Good morning. I'm glad to see you safe and sound."
"Um, thank you."
His mood was almost the polar opposite of the previous night; he seemed now to be in rather high spirits.
"Has something happened?"
"Oh ho ho ho! Would you like to know?"
"…Yes."
"I won't tell you."
"Ha hahaha! Well, you'll learn soon enough."
he turned to the two captains with him.
"Isn't that right, Toudou? Saito?"
"What…?"
I cocked an eyebrow at Heisuke and Saito.
The moment our eyes met, Heisuke looked away.
"…Yeah, I guess."
That seemed odd.
"Um…Saito?"
"You have no need for this information just now."
Unlike his companion, Saito met my gaze straight-on, but his eyes were flat and utterly devoid of any emotion.
Finally he looked away.
"We should go, Itou."
Heisuke finally looked at me.
"Uh, yeah… See ya, Chizuru."
And then they were gone, leaving me wondering just what had happened.
"Are you sure it's all right for you to be up and about already?"
Inoue and Shimada looked up as soon as I stepped into the common room.
"I'm fine. I slept really well, and I feel a lot better."
"That's great. I'm sorry about what happened to you, though. Does your cut hurt?"
"Oh, uh, well… Actually, it wasn't very deep. It barely hurts at all."
I couldn't tell him the truth, of course: that it was already almost completely healed.
"Oh, I ran into Itou on my way in. Did something happen?"
"Ah… So you saw them, eh?"
He frowned.
"He said something…weird. And Heisuke and Saito were acting kind of strange, too."
"Yeah… Well, Itou and some others are leaving."
"They're going to form a new group, different from the Shinsengumi."
"What?! Is…is that okay?"
"He had a meeting this morning with the chief and Commander Hijikata."
…
"…Guardians of the Imperial Tomb?"
"Yes. I intend to take some of my comrades and leave. We will be appointed official guardians of the Imperial Mausoleum. I have been considering such a move for some time now, but after last night's…excitement… …I felt this was the right time. I knew when I joined the Shinsengumi that my imperialism might not be welcome, but I thought we could work past that. I see now that I was mistaken."
Hijikata had glared at him.
"Just spit it out, Itou. You want to split up the Shinsengumi."
"Call it what you like, but I can no longer remain in the company of such savages as yourself."
Kondou had frowned then, looking quite hurt.
"If you insist, then I will do as you ask. you must remember, however that last night's incident is a result of orders from the shogunate. We cannot allow you to reveal this secret."
"Then I propose a deal: Allow me to depart peacefully, and in turn I will remain silent. I also wish to bring several of your men with me."
Kondou had then looked away his frown deepening.
"…Very well, but anyone you wish to take must agree to leave."
"Of course. I will, naturally, maintain the fiction that we intend to continue to cooperate with one another. A stance that will no doubt benefit both of us."
Itou then laughed.
Kondou glanced at him, "…Cooperation. Fine." then at Hijikata, "Toshi? What do you think?"
Hijikata scoffed.
"It's your decision, not mine."
…
"Then…Heisuke and Saito…"
"Yes. They are leaving with Itou. I confess, I'm rather surprised."
"No…"
Then…would that mean I could never see them again?
"Don't worry," said Kondou. "Remember what I said? We're going to keep relations amicable between our two organizations."
"Kondou…"
It was kind of him to try to comfort me, but I couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was going to befall the Shinsengumi and its members.
Inoue turned to Kondou.
"You aren't going to let the men interact with the Guard though, right?"
The expression on his face was likely a mirror of my own.
He looked to Kondou but it was Hijikata who answered.
"Of course not. He gets to leave, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let him get away with whatever he wants."
"But…is this really okay? Itou and the others leaving, I mean."
Hijikata's expression softened for a moment.
"Itou and his men leaving isn't a problem."
His voice was flat, but unconcerned.
"Although, I was a little surprised that Heisuke and Saito decided to go with that snake."
He frowned.
"Ah…I would say it was more than a 'little.'"
From there, the conversation moved onto a discussion of politics and the like that was beyond my ability to follow.
And what could I have said anyway? The decision had already been made, and there was nothing I could have said to change it.
I got up quietly, and left the common room.
"*Sigh* …I never thought something like this could happen…"
I was especially worried about the soldiers.
What about the feelings of those who were being left behind? I wanted to know how the people in the Shinsengumi felt about Itou and his followers leaving.
The heads of the Shinsengumi seemed like the best people to ask, but they were all still talking in the common room.
Perhaps I should wait a bit, until they were done-
Almost as if on cue, Hijikata appeared in the hallway.
"Oh, hello Hijikata."
He glanced at me and stopped.
"Shouldn't you be resting?"
"Oh, I...feel a lot better now."
He frowned seeming unconvinced.
"Your dad's a doctor, and you know a little about medicine, but that doesn't mean you're invulnerable. Go back to your room and try not to run around too much."
"Okay. I'll be careful."
It was easy to forget one had suffered a significant injury when it healed almost completely by morning.
"I'll go right back to my room, but… Can I ask you something first?"
"What?"
"It's about Itou, and the people who are leaving with him… How do you…feel about all of that?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, people who were members of the Shinsengumi…won't be."
"We were allies yesterday, but if our positions change we could be enemies tomorrow. That's life."
No wonder thay called him the Demon. His voice was cold, calculating, and utterly flat.
"But what about Saito? And Heisuke?"
They had all been captains together. Surely, Hijikata saw them as friends, at least.
"Saito and Toudou… It's going to be rough to lose a pair of skilled swordsmen, yes. …But think about the future. If they're leaving, they had some problem with the Shinsengumi. Better they leave now, than before that problem gets worse."
How could he be so cold and analytical about his friends?
On the other hand, his logic made sense. If Itou and company were leaving because they were incompatible with the Shinsengumi, then perhaps it was for the best.
But was the best thing for the future of the Shinsengumi also the best thing for Hijikata?
I couldn't understand…
…
My wound healed completely soon afterward, but I kept the bandages on. I got plenty of questions about how I was recovering, but the best I could do was not, smile, and assure them that I was fine.
The truth was, I didn't even have a scar. I couldn't have pointed out where on my arm I'd been cut if someone had asked me.
When Itou and his followers-now the Guardians of the Imperial Tomb==left, the compound seemed suddenly very empty.
I felt like the Shinsengumi was falling apart around me, and there was nothing I could do to stop it.
Was this nothing more than a natural result of the Shinsengumi's growth, or the harbinger of something far greater and more terrible?