Chapter 10
The Pages
Much as I would like to, I cannot possibly deny that this is the weirdest chapter I have ever written in any story. A Prairie Home Companion show I heard years ago contributed to it – somewhere in the depths of radio history, you can find the omniscient narrator idea in a Guy Noir episode. Go Fanách is something my friends (the ones that I created this story for) and I found once when we were bored and started looking for translators online. And The Vending Machine was one of my friend's many random ideas.
More seriously, I'm going to claim that the Fiendfyre that Crabbe set in the Room of Requirement did not destroy the room's powers, because that room is necessary to the story. J. K. Rowling didn't say for sure that it would be unusable.
"I don't see a crow around," Evan said.
"We actually landed two meters from the edge of the space which has had the latest wizardry action," I explained. "It should be around there."
We made our way over to a little "island" of relatively dry land nearby. I suddenly had a picture of what we must look like to an onlooker. Six children in English school uniforms wading through a swamp.
"I wish I was wearing cooler clothes," Leianna said, pulling off her scarf. "Is it even winter here? It feels like summer."
"Welcome to Florida," Dawna replied. "Sometimes it gets down to below freezing in the mornings in winter, but it's usually not much cooler than fifty degrees. Fahrenheit, of course."
"No wonder you've never seen snow," I said in amazement. "How can you stand it?"
"Wait until you've felt it in summer," she replied.
We stood on the island. "This is the only place that's had any display of power in the whole swamp recently enough for it to be what we're looking for," I said, "but I don't feel –"
And suddenly, I did feel it. There was power here. It centered around –
I turned around. A giant alligator, more than three meters long, crawled up behind us.
"Dai stihò." Ironically, it was Evan, not a wizard, who remembered to be polite.
"Young wizards," it said. In English.
It is shameful for a wizard, the best users of language in the galaxy, to be speechless. But all four of us were.
It yawned. We got a full view of its dangerous teeth. "He's over there," it said, pointing with its snout to a nearby "island."
"Um…" I said.
"Who is?" asked Steven.
"The one you are looking for."
"Who are you?" I asked.
It just made a sound that made me think it was laughing at us. Then it slid into the water.
I am the Omniscient Narrator, one of the Lesser Powers that Be. Some of the Lesser Powers get to take care of a planet, place, or a race of people. Some get to give messages to beings through dreams. I get to narrate stories. Lucky Me.
And many authors do not even bother to use me! They refuse to even consult me. This is not fair.
Here is how this story should go:
"Dawna took a soggy paper bag from the ground. 'What is this doing here?'"
(I put it there. Why? Because I can. Muahaha! Back to the story.)
"'Maybe some tourists dropped it there,' Fae suggested.
"'Hmm, maybe I can fix everything right now,' Dawna said thoughtfully.
"'Dawna, that bag's disgusting. You don't know where it's been,' Steven said.
"'Wait and watch. I have an idea,' she scolded. Why do the wizards have to have all the fun and all the chances to save the world? I can fix this easily, she thought. She turned it into six pages. It was covered with writing in the Speech. She handed it to Fae.
"Fae stared at it for a moment. She began to read. It had the rest of Harry's –"
Uh-oh. I see Fae. She will not be happy that I am using the computer. She thinks that she knows more than I do. She is angry!
Do you not like My story? Is this not easier than the way you did it? You had to go – Leave Me alone! You are but a mortal human, and I – What do you mean, you do not believe I am one of the Powers that Be? Of course I – Stop it – Heelp! – Let go of my tail – Aargh –
Okay. That was strange. My cat decided she is one of the Powers that Be and a better author than I am.
Uh-oh.
That's a scary thought.
What if she IS one of the Powers that Be?
I can't possibly get rid of that interlude, even though no one will believe that it really happened! Oh, well, back to the story.
STAY OFF MY COMPUTER, MS. OMNISCIENT NARRATOR!
Dawna turned into a small alligator and set off. Steven said a spell that would allow us to walk on the water, and we followed her. Evan raised his eyebrows when he saw us start to walk on the muddy water, but soon followed us.
Halfway across, we saw a man sitting on a tree stump. He hadn't been there a moment ago. A raven sat on his shoulder. Something about him was decidedly unearthly. Maybe because his skin had a violet shade to it. He smiled slowly and showed stunningly white, pointed teeth.
"Evan, what is that?" I asked quietly.
"An alien."
"You think?" Leianna asked sarcastically.
"A very powerful alien." He looked pale.
"Oh, yes, you know, little boy. You want to be a Jedi, don't you? But you're not. And you never will be." He held up a handful of old, crumpled pages and said to us "You came looking for the pages. Here they are. Come get them, for all the good it'll do you. We've already gotten what we want. Though maybe I should read them first… Wouldn't it be interesting to know what's so important that you came all this way for it when you should be at home, protecting the trees? And Harry Potter…"
He laughed a cold laugh that reminded me of the description of Voldemort's laugh, a laugh like the Lone Power's when It knows It is doing something that really hurts you. And then he disappeared. The six pages fluttered to the ground.
We stood, stunned.
"Let's go," said Evan in a hoarse voice. "We need to get back. Now. Before someone realizes we are missing." He changed his voice so that it sounded normal and businesslike.
I grabbed the pages. Tom began to write the spell. "We'll land on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Then we can see what's on those pages and find out what's wrong with the trees."
"I'll do the speaking spell this time," offered Steven. "Fae, do you want to help? You don't have to, though. We've never worked together before."
"I'll help. Can't have everyone else doing everything for me," I said.
I had another new experience that day: doing a spell with another wizard. It wasn't nearly as hard as I would have thought. We were soon on the edge of the Forest. Tom and Leianna went to talk to the trees. The rest of us sat down and started reading the pages.
One sheet was about Harry Potter. We read the end at last. The next one was titled "Go Fánach."
"What's that mean?" Evan asked.
"I think it's Gaelic. 'Random' or something like that." I speak a bit of Gaelic. It's cool.
I started to read. I blinked and looked again. I gave it to Steven. "Please tell me I'm reading this wrong."
He looked at it and groaned. "We went all that way for this?"
"What is it?" Dawna asked.
I began, "How to greet the Lone Power in the twenty most common Earth languages, ordered by the number of people who speak it, spelling and pronunciation included, pictures of Ents, and –" I couldn't go on. I started beating my head against my manual.
"Stop abusing the poor book," Steven scolded. "It can't be that bad." He took the last page and read, "How to say, 'what is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow' in the fifty most common languages of the galaxy and how to respond, very useful in quests for… the Holy… Grail…?" He started to hit his head with his own manual. Dawna turned a handful of dirt into a book and did the same. Evan tried not to laugh. I heard a crack and looked up.
Steven stared at his wizard's manual and opened it. It fell open to show his favorite quill, which had been stuck there, broken in half.
"Steven…" I moaned.
The other two came back, looking worried.
"You'll never believe –" I said at the same time as Steven and Tom.
"You go first," said Leianna. "What do they say?"
"You don't want to know," said Dawna.
Steven told them.
"You're joking. It's not funny," said Leianna. "If you knew what the trees –"
I handed her the pages. She looked at them for a moment and then shut her eyes. "I always thought manuals had useful information in them," she whispered. "How disappointing."
"They do," said Evan so quietly I wasn't sure he had spoken.
"What?" I asked.
He held up the last page. "You missed one." He actually looked frightened.
I took it. It was an extensive family tree written in the Roman alphabet. Of Evan's family.
"Look here." He pointed to a name near the top.
I almost dropped the paper. "It – then – then you're – it can't be true –"
"It must be."
"What's going on?" Everyone was staring at us.
I flipped the page over. It was Dawna's family tree. I scanned it. It had the same name. "Oh, my god," I whispered. "You're related."
"Who?" asked Evan.
"You and Dawna. It's hardly surprising, for her. Actually, it explains a lot."
"What?" shouted Dawna, turning her eyes red and fiery to show her frustration.
"Dawna, you and Evan are both distantly – Evan more distantly than you – related to the Lone Defender."
"Let me see that." She grabbed the paper. "Where?"
I showed her. She kept staring at it. "That name means the Lone Defender? You're sure?"
"That is one of Its names."
"Fae. Look in your manual and see what comes after the missing pages," Evan said.
I opened the book to the wounded part. While I was there, I fixed the pages back in. My manual relaxed; it had been in pain. Then I looked at the next page. My family tree, Tom's, Leianna's and Steven's. Then there was Professor Elessar's and Aragorn's. I pointed that out to the others. It made them laugh, if nervously. We had all heard his family history more than once. We hoped he never saw this one. It went all the way to the first king. Surprisingly, there was also Dumbledore's family tree. Even more surprisingly, I recognized no famous names. Finally, there was Luke Skywalker's.
I looked at everyone's except mine. I was afraid of what it might say. But I finally, I looked.
My fears were real. I was also related to the Lone Defender, though more distantly than Evan. That explained why my sister and I both became wizards at eleven years old.
The others backed away from us. We were part god. The Lone Defender is not the nicest of the Bright Powers, though it's the best one to have on your side. It is a warrior. It is very powerful. It is not kind. Dawna's grumpiness probably was from It. It is often short-tempered.
But most importantly for them, it was the twin of the Lone Power. The very being that had made us all so miserable. The thing that had killed my sister and then taken me back to that time on my Ordeal to force me to watch. The thing that had created pain and fear and death. And we were related to It.
"What happened in the Forest?" I asked.
Tom and Leianna looked at each other. Leianna spoke. "The trees say they know the ancient thing from the War of the Ring that has returned. The Ringwraiths. Nazgûl."
"It's not true," I whispered. "That's impossible."
Evan suddenly said, loudly, "Harry Potter was visiting Ginny today."
I gave him an odd look. I didn't know how he knew that, and something about his voice was very strange.
"How do you know?" Steven asked.
"He isn't here anymore. The Lethifolds attacked when he was here last, but this time It got what It wanted. He was walking near here with Ginny when we were after those stupid pages and the Ringwraiths took them!"
I didn't know what to say or feel. It couldn't be true. But if it was true, it was terrifying.
"You can't know that just by the Force, can you?" Leianna asked us all.
"Evan," I said with all the calm I could summon. "Is there something we should know?"
He looked ashamed. "Yes."
"What is it?" I pressed.
"I sometimes have visions. Of the future or sometimes the past. The future ones can be changed, but the past ones are always true. And, I think you should know, since we have met, it seems to have rubbed off on you and Dawna. Especially Dawna. Maybe because we're all related."
"Does this have to do with Dawna changing into a cat during Halloween?" asked Leianna. "Right after she said all that strange stuff about Harry Potter that ended up coming true?"
"So that's the vision Fae had of the forest," Tom realized. "And that's why Dawna said the weird things about the full moon on the first night." We had told them all about that trip over the lake.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Dawna screamed. "I spent so much time wondering about my dreams and the things that came into my head. Worrying! You could have made life so much easier."
"But you would have known they could come true," Evan explained. "That's worse, believe me."
"That's all the weird dreams, then," I said. "You should have told us. I hope I don't have to fight Voldemort for real!"
"I only realized you were being affected on Halloween," he said.
"But you should have told us about you. We cared, you know! We would have wanted to know," I said. I was furious. I kept it better hidden than Dawna, though. She was still yelling, and her words weren't nice.
"We need to go now," Evan said firmly. "We need to save the Potters. They won't be able to save themselves; I'm sure their power was taken care of."
"Go where?" I asked.
"To the Jedi, first," he said thoughtfully.
"Evan, this is not the time for you to be thinking about meeting the Jedi," Leianna scolded.
"Don't you know? That man we met with the pages is a Sith."
"Oh," I said. I realized I should have known that. "Oh. Let's go talk to the Jedi."
"Someone should stay behind to protect the castle," the red-haired werewolf girl said. We were too worried, and too used to surprises by then, to wonder what she was doing there. "You know what happened last time you were all away, and the Lone Power is directly involved in this. You are the only ones who know how to deal with It. Oh, I almost forgot. Poke."
"I'm going and Evan's going," I insisted.
"You can't go without me," Dawna declared. "No, I won't kill Evan, even though I am still mad at him."
"How about us three – four, including her –" he pointed to the werewolf "–stay?" suggested Tom. "You three know each other pretty well. Steven could go along, if you want. He knows you – Fae, at least, – better than we do."
"No, Steven can stay. With four of you, two can chase the Nazgûl and the other two protect the castle. Let's go," I told Evan and Dawna.
"Where are you going?" Evan asked. I was walking towards the castle.
"To the Room of Requirement. I read about it in Harry's fifth year. It gives you whatever you want, and we need a worldgate. There aren't any nearby. I can't do a galaxy jump all by myself with two passengers. It's not like I have Ordeal level power. A wizard's power gets lower with time after the end of an ordeal. I hope I remember how to get to the room." My mind was spinning with all the things I had found out over the past hour.
"Good luck!" called Steven.
"Good moons!" shouted the werewolf.
"May the Force be with you!" Evan and I replied together.
"We'll need it," muttered Dawna.
I found the room easily. I walked back and forth in front of the room thinking, We need a worldgate to Coruscant. (I had checked to see where Luke was.) I was breathing hard. We had run all the way up to the seventh floor. On the third pass, a door appeared.
"Here we go," I said. "I don't know whether it'll take us there the moment we step through the door, so brace yourself."
I opened the door. Inside was a vending machine with chips and cookies in it.
"A vending machine," said Dawna. "Hey, this is The Vending Machine from my school. I drew that." She pointed to a badly drawn cat on the side. "It's, like, the only vending machine in the whole school. No one knows why it's there. And it's got a lot of food in it today. It's hardly ever fully stocked. I can get something for once." She reached into her pocket and pulled out an American dollar bill. She tried three times. It took the bill on the third. She pushed two buttons and a bag of chips fell to the bottom. She reached down to get it and squeezed it until the air-filled bag burst. "Doritos, anyone?"
Evan's mouth was open as if he couldn't believe what she was doing.
"Dawna," I groaned. "Dawna, this is important."
"Come on, Fae. Let's get this done," Evan said, finally finding his voice.
I looked at it through 'wizard vision.' Under each item were the coordinates of a place in the Speech only visible to a wizard. I checked everything to see that it would work properly. The other two watched, fascinated. Yes, this vending machine would work for a worldgate, odd as it was. All we needed to do was choose the coordinates, open the front, and walk into it like the entry to platform nine and three-quarters. I talked the door open.
"Well," I said, "Let's meet the Jedi."
Is anyone still reading? Will anyone keep reading after this?