Chapter 10 - Return of the King

His eyes were focused on the tall, dark stone before him. It was alluring, mesmerizing... He could almost hear its voice calling him closer, luring him in...

Naught was there but the dark stone, covered in ageless dirt and new snow. His grasp on the sword on his side tightened, but he could not feel it. He has lost the feeling of touch, of smell... he could neither hear nor see but that what captured him entirely.

He could not feel the rasp sensation of ever cooling air around him, for the winter had come, and with it snow and ice.

He could no longer feel his own heartbeat.

"Kili..."

A faint sound from far away mingled with the senses he no longer possessed. A faint, but somehow familiar voice was calling him, but he could not respond, for it was not real. There was naught but what laid before him, the dark alluring stone calling him... pulling him towards it...

"Kili!"

He lost his footing for another hand pulled on his. He turned and saw a face, a face so familiar and loved by himself he could not even believe he had not responded to his voice.

"Fili." He whispered.

His eyes slowly turned and saw there was none other but them, the two brothers. He returned his gaze onto his brother and saw deep worry and fear. But why would Fili fear? Why would his brother worry?

Then he realized, it was for him. How long had he been standing on the wall, mesmerized by something he could neither comprehend nor describe?

"Khâzash..." Fili's voice was soft and the caress Kili felt on his cheek brought him back to his childhood, to the times he was afraid beyond measure and his brother was there to comfort him and protect him.

But Kili feared not. He was not afraid. He was frozen in a place between consciousness and shadows, in an hour without time. What seemed to others as hours, to him had passed within a blink of an eye.

He allowed his brother to pull him closer and rest his forehead against his own. But when Fili met his little brother's eyes, what he saw there froze the very blood in his veins. The very heart in his chest.

He was looking at his little brother no more, but at a person he could no longer recognize.

Kili stood there, still taller than most and beardless by dwarven measure, but deep darkness bathed the depths of his eyes, deep darkness and something more...

Wisdom. Knowledge. A deep sorrow felt only by those who knew what awaited them.

And Fili, son of Dis, sister-son of Thorin Oakenshield,, had never been more frightened in his short life up until that moment.

Kili watched him back, and an unexplainable coldness rushed through his older brother, a coldness and despair he could not describe to his own self. He felt as if he was watching another person, not Kili, not his little brother that had always been a reckless idiot pulling them both into one trouble after another.

He felt as if he was looking into the eyes of one of the Eldar with the gift of fore-sight. He had heard of the great Kings and Queens of old, who were gifted with unearthly powers, praised amongst both the elves and dwarves, for in those days the earth was still young and no hatred flew between their people. Fili now stood and watched his brother whose dark eyes were shadowed by what he somehow knew was to happen.

Kili was tormented. And yet, he could not grasp the thought of why. He met his brother's tortured gaze, tortured gaze he himself was the reason of, and wanted nothing more but to offer him comfort. Yet, all he still felt was the pull of darkness. The pull of... death.

For he had seen the shadows... and he would always feel their call.

He took a deep breath and nodded to Fili. "Let's go, brother. Let us join our kin."

Without a word they both knew which kin Kili was referring to, for Thorin still dwelled in chambers filled with gold, oblivious to the death and ruin placed upon their kin on the other side of the wall.

They descended the stairs and were met by worried gazes of others who presumed Kili's heart had filled with fear when he saw the armies. Yet, once they placed their eyes upon him, shivers ran through them, for they too could feel the change in their young Prince.

Wordlessly, the brothers took their places one beside another on the stones before the wall. Kili looked around and deeper into the Mountain, into the chambers he knew were his by right. Yet, he felt the weight of a curse upon him, a curse he now knew would not let him be at peace.

Erebor... Their home, their Kingdom... A home of so few days had not felt like home yet, but he could feel the love from somewhere deep inside of him every time he laid his hand on stones surrounding him. He was a son of Durin. A Prince of Erebor.

And a sister-son to a King he no longer recognized. How could Thorin, a man of word and honour, forsake all that was holy to him? How could he forsake his own word, and even worse, his own kin? For even a man with no honour would never turn his back on his kin...

The doom was near, he could feel it. He knew not why he felt such a strong pull towards the black stone. He could not explain it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, a faint whisper was calling his name, a faint, silent whisper in a language he spoke not, but still understood. He was being called there to die.

And if the hour came, he would go. He would follow his brother and his kin to whatever end.

He only wished he could have seen her one more time, before the end of all things. He only wished he could have held her in his arms and feel her lips on his, even for a moment, for then he would go on in peace. He would join his forefathers in the Halls of Mahal and he would be happy, for she would live on and cherish the memory of him until the end of days. Her heart would be broken, her soul shattered, but someday, in the long years of life before her, in the eternity that awaited her immortal soul, she would find another who would fill her soul with happiness.

And Kili would stand by her, invisible and voiceless, and love her nevertheless. For the love od a dwarf was binding forever, and his one would never truly walk alone. Nothing did he know of the torture his death would bring upon her. Nothing did he know of the fading of an elf into nothingness...

And one day, when the end of the world would come, when the song of the Ainur brought life back to the dead, he would see her again. And maybe then, if she would still have him, maybe then they could be together.

A hand on his shoulder brought him back to reality. Fili sat near him and hugged him tightly. The despair and fear were still in his eyes, but he gazed upon his younger brother with something else. The deepest of love. The bond only brothers shared.

"Kili... What... What happened up there, I cannot explain. First I thought you were frightened, but... But I've never seen you like that. You paid no mind to the battle. Not even to what was happening around you..."

Kili remained silent, sensing there was more to come. And indeed, Fili sighed deeply and continued.

"Brother, I did not recognize you. When I looked into your eyes, I saw my brother no more, but a wise being with knowledge of what was to come."

Silence stretched and in that moment, Kili had to remove his eyes from his brother's.

"I cannot explain it." He whispered. "I... I feel it, Fili."

"What?"

"I do not know. I do not know, Fili. I feel it, the pull, the shadows... You cannot understand."

The grip around his shoulders tightened. "Try to explain. Share your burden, brother."

Kili sighed deeply. For a few moments he was silent. But then he spoke, and his voice was barely above whisper.

"Back in Lake-town, when I was drowning in the shadows..." He gasped. "I cannot explain it nor will you ask it of me, Fili. For that sorrow is none to bear but mine. I would never burden you with such despair, brother."

After a moment of silence, he continued. "When she came and healed me, she pulled me away from the grasp of darkness. Yet the shadows remained. Silent and invisible, they still dwelled in the back of my mind. And now..."

His eyes darkened again and Fili felt shivers down his spine, for the look in his brother's eyes was the same as on top of the wall.

"...And now I feel it again. I hear it. I sense it. I feel the darkness even though I cannot still see it. I fear it not, but I fear for the lives of others... I fear for you. For Thorin. For our kin here. For... For her."

Fili felt cold. Coldness spread through him like icy shivers down his spine. He knew no comfort in the form of words could he offer to his little brother, so he tightened the grip on his shoulders even more. Never would he wish to be parted from his brother, but in that hour, Fili swore to the great Forger himself and to all the great Valar, he would do all he could to save his brother. Even if it meant his own death.

"You know..." Fili started after long minutes of silence. "I have always wanted to come here, to reclaim our homeland. To be on Thorin's side when he laid his eyes on his long lost home. But I care not for the gold, Kili. I care not for the blasted Arkenstone, all the gems, mithril and crowns. I have always thought we would grow old here, Kili. Return to our rightful home and start our own families. Even if it meant my new sister would be an elf, of all things..." He smiled.

Kili looked up and Fili laughed at his little brother's confusion. "Yes, Kili. I have sworn to protect you and to help you. And I see her as my sister already, even if you're still not pledged to one another. And your children, which I am sure you will have lots of, I shall love as my own."

Bittersweet tears welled in Kili's eyes, for how could he even voice his fears now, how could he even speak to his brother of the certainty of death before them... How could he now, when his brother, his rock, his soul once again confirmed to be one of the greatest amongst those who ever lived.

One of those tears spilled and he smiled, looking into his brother's eyes full of love. "Fee..."

They understood one another without further words and their foreheads met in a sign of love only brothers could hold for each other.

Yet Kili could not be at peace, he could not sit still, for his warrior-heart was beating stronger by the minute. He wished to join the fight, to defend what was theirs. To slay the accursed Azog and his cursed spawns before they took another innocent life. His brother beside him was restless still, for he to, the Lion of Durin's Line, could no longer sit and do nothing. Not while their kin was dying upon orcish blades. Not while dead bodies of dwarf, man and elf filled the valley, covering its stone and earth with death worse than desolation left by the dragon.

But what were they to do? Their uncle was lost. Fili tried, oh he tried, countless of times. To reach him, to speak to him... Yet, all Thorin saw was his heir, not his nephew, and all he spoke of was gold and duty to their own. But their own were dying on the other side of the wall, and Thorin thought naught but how to protect that which was on the inside.

Gold. Beyond measure. Beyond grief and sorrow.

Gold beyond life. Worthy of all the blood that was being spilled for it.

Fili could not understand it. He was a Prince from the exile. Born and raised as a normal dwarfling, with a strong sense of duty and honour. Yet, what his uncle now saw as duty and honour was so much different from what he once had taught them.

The dwarf he knew and grew to love as a father was lost. Gone. And his heart was shattering in his chest. When he looked upon his brother once more, he felt even stronger a grief for Thorin was the only father his little brother had ever known.

Mahal...Help us...

Dwalin, who stood by Thorin always, could bear the silence no longer. He threw his axe on the floor, raising clouds of dust and dirt into the air. Wordlessly he walked deeper into the Mountain, towards there where Thorin dwelled, crazed by gold.

Fili and Kili, two young brothers, looked upon one another and a silent, wordless thought flew from one mind to another. It Thorin would not see reason, if the King Under the Mountain would not stand before his home and call his kin on arms to defend what was theirs, they would.

Young they were and inexperienced still, but Durin's own blood ran through their veins, and no sense of madness would ever turn them away from their duty.

Fili and Kili, sister-sons and heirs of Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, would lead the army if he would not come to his senses.

They had to.

For nothing awaited them but death and ruin.

And even so, the very thought of going against Thorin in their loyal hearts felt like the worst of treasons. He raised them and loved them as his own sons, yet they could no longer tolerate the sickness overtaking him.

Thorin Oakenshield was a great dwarf, one of the greatest of their Line. For even in exile, even without their home and gold, he managed to build a life for his people, a life worthy of living. He built them a new home in the Blue Mountains and some even went as far as to say the quest for Erebor was not needed.

Thorin Oakenshield was their King, and King would he have been even without a Kingdom to claim, for he was a man of word and honour.

Yet now, he was a stranger even to his kin. Fili sat back to where he arose from, for his place was near his brother. They leaned onto one another and, as many times before, drew strength from one another. For strength they would need to whatever end this would lead.

Night had fallen and soon another Sun arose. And the sight none wished to see met their eyes nevertheless. Countless of orcs, swarms of the accursed creatures like forces from the depths of hell brought death and ruin to all who stood before them. Their kin was not far away, rallied to Dain in defence of Erebor.

Where was Thorin? Kili knew that was the question plaguing their kinsmen's minds. It was plaguing his, also, when he stood on top of the wall, looking into the distance. The city of Dale was burning, defeat was not far away. In that hour, he asked himself if the Dragonslayer still lived or had he too perished together with his family...

Yet still, hidden in the shadows and invisible to all who would look up, he could see the black stone of Ravenhill. And still, coldness spread throughout his entire being, for he could feel the call of the shadows...

Hurt he was, and enraged. For each and every cry of his kin before him, each and every drop of blood spilled against an orcish blade awoke a spark of anger in him. How could he, he who was to be in Line for the Throne of all the Seven tribes, linger in the shadows while his kin was dying?

How could they? For he could feel his brother's thoughts and they were the same as his own.

He descended the stairs and joined the others. Fili turned his back to all else, grieving what was to come in silence. For they knew no other choice could ever be before them but to betray their King and uncle and go to battle.

Kili almost chuckled, for he could perfectly imagine Thorin he knew and loved yelling from the top of his lungs at him and Fili for not charging out sooner, even if he knew they would disobey his own self.

Thorin Oakenshield, their uncle, their... father, would understand. And one day, if he were to cast away the sickness that overtook him, one day he would cherish the memory of two young dwarves who had given their lives in his stead, and had done so honourably.

Still he sat on the stone, alone with his thoughts. And in the hours to come, he knew nothing but battle would be on his mind.

So he cherished the last moments of peace and solitude thinking of her. Oh, Tauriel, amrâlimê... If you could see me now... If you could see how desperate I am for you...

The future he once hoped for was now lost.

Never would there be a great fight between him and Thorin when his younger nephew informed him of his love for an elf. Never would there be any threats of disowning or banishment.

Never would there be a wedding between a dwarf and an elf. Thorin would eventually see reason and bless their union, for he loved his nephews greatly and owed Tauriel their lives. But that future was never to come.

Never would he take her to their chambers and worship her body. Show her just how precious and beautiful she was to him. Never would he see her pregnant with his child. Never would he hold the blessing of their union in his arms or craft a name for his son or daughter while feeling their heartbeat under his fingers.

Amrâlimê...

He raised his head and met Fili's gaze, not surprised to see a lone tear grazing his cheek. His brother too felt his thoughts and joined him in his bittersweet sorrow.

Another hour has passed before Thorin faced them. And the sheer sight of him boiled Kili's blood. Unexplainable rage and anger towards his uncle seemed to burn its way throughout his body until it came to his tongue.

"I will not hide... behind a wall of stone while OTHERS fight OUR BATTLES FOR US!"

He yelled with all his being. He saw red. Fire was in his blood, burning him, desperate for release. Others around him stood in shocked silence, for never had they seen the young, reckless Prince behaving in such manner. Hot-head and fast on words and deeds he was, but this...

Yet all Kili could see was Thorin. His graceful steps through stone and dirt. His unreadable face.

"It is not in my blood, Thorin!" He finished somewhat calmer, but not for the subsiding rage that still boiled his insides. Tears welled in his eyes, tears of anger and disappointment.

Then Thorin came closer to him and their eyes met. And Kili could hold his tears no more for he was looking into his uncle's eyes, his eyes free of darkness and sickness... Without further word, he knew Thorin was back. His uncle was back. His loving uncle... His King...

"No... It is not." Thorin's deep voice was barely above whisper, yet all could hear it in the silence surrounding them.

"We are sons of Durin. And Durin's Folk do not flee from a fight."

Kili's lips stretched and he smiled through his tears. His Uncle lovingly brought his head closer and touched his forehead to his. And in it, there was all he could not say.

I am sorry... I am so sorry, Kili... I am sorry... I have failed you...

But when Thorin Oakenshield met his nephew's eyes once more, he saw that his unsaid words were acknowledged and his foul deeds forgiven. All he saw was love, awe and something only a father and son could share, for Thorin loved him as his own, and Kili cherished their bond no less.

Then he turned to the rest of them and nodded to Fili, who was standing on the pile of stones looking the very Prince he was supposed to be, his head held high and his eyes warm with pride and love. Thorin approached him and pressed his forehead against his heir's. Fili grasped his shoulder and nodded, whispering to his uncle that they all would follow him to whatever end.

Then Thorin turned back and faced them all. His companions, the only ones who answered when he called upon them. And once again, he knew he would rather have them by his side that all the armies Dain could ever bring from the Iron Hills.

"I have no right to ask this any of you... But will you follow me one last time?"

No words would ever be worthy to describe what each and every one of them felt at that moment. No words could describe the depth of emotions swarming their beings when they rallied to their King and their Princes on his sides.

The Horn of Erebor was heard miles away, its sharp cry stopping both enemy and allies in their tracks. The wall shattered and there they came. Sons of Durin in their prime.

Thorin, son of Thrain, King Under the Mountain, with both Fili and Kili on his sides, leading an army that rallied to their King.

And in the years to come, tales would be told how orcs backed away in fear as Thorin lead the charge.

"Du Bekâr!"

AN: Here we have it, at laaaaast! Thorin free from dragon sickness! And I couldn't get Bilbo's sentence out of my head while writing this ("I believe the worst is behind us"-well, shite, Mr Boggins, it is not).

I was really in doubt about this chapter because I wanted to follow the actual story line as closely as possible, but also focus on Kili mostly... It was difficult to write this, because I can't bring myself to kill my beloved Durins... But they do not have to die, at least not in a way.

I know some of you still hope they'll all survive, but I'll shatter your hopes right away and just say it - they won't. BUT! But! It will not be the end. The beautiful mind of our dearest Professor Tolkien crafted wonders, and I've already decided their deaths would not be the end of my story...

So please, please, please, don't stop reading because you'll be happy in the end, I promise. The end is written already, so I know it for sure, I just have to write what comes in between. (yup, the denial is strong with this one)

Anyway, here I am, babbling about future... I'd like to hear your thoughts on THIS chapter, what you feel, what you think... like it? hate it? never read again?

Thank you for reading and following!

Cheers, loves!

PS. I'm bedridden, and I mean it quite literally (back injury), so I've a lot of free time on my hands... Updates may come a bit sooner (depending on your reviews, I've said already they inspire me), and I've also started a new story, modern Kiliel AU named In Another Life. The first chapter is already posted, and it would make me immensely happy if you checked it out! Cause I obviously can't cope with the deaths of my beloved Durins and I decided to give them an alternate life =) Also, mywriting style is totally different in that story, not sth you'd expect of me, so read and review, please!