Double D was in college now. It was ok, but he didn't really talk to anyone. He missed Marie, but knew he couldn't think about her too much because he couldn't afford to get distracted; college work was serious, so he had to actually pay attention because most of the material was new.
"I got to get a candy bar or something to hold over through this next class. Then I can finally go get lunch." Double D walked towards a vending machine on the way to his next class. When he pulled out what he thought was four quarters, they turned out to be four nickels.
"Curse you, nickels. I knew I should have checked before I left my house." Double D grumbled. He was about to turn away and walk to class when heard the sound of a vending machine pulling in paper money.
"You should get something. You look hungry." A female voice called. Double D turned around to see a girl in a Periphery hoodie and black jeans putting up her wallet.
"h-hi…" Double D stuttered; Marie was the only person to just randomly walk up to him, and even she knew him beforehand.
"Hello. Did I startle you?" the girl asked.
"Uh, yeah. Didn't think anyone knew me here" Double replied.
"Well, I don't know you, but I thought I would help." She smiled.
"Also, I kind of like lone wolves." She added in a voice that was almost a whisper.
"Oh. Well thank you. I-I'm Edd. But most people just call me Double D." Double D introduced himself.
"I'm Ashley." She smiled.
"Nice to meet you." Double D was also smiling; maybe college wouldn't be as antisocial as he thought. He was about to leave for class when he had a realization. [It's the first day of class, and she just randomly started talking to me. I'm going to be late anyway so I'll just stay and talk with her. Ask her to lunch. I'm tired of being the ghost in the crowd.] He thought as he turned to retrieve the dollar from the vending machine.
"Since I'm going to be late anyway, you want to go somewhere for lunch?" Double D asked her.
"You just met me 10 seconds ago and you're asking me to lunch?" Ashley asked him in a tone he wasn't sure how to interpret. Double D blushed slightly.
"Well...uh... If, you..." Double D instantly lost his cool, collected exterior.
"Oh, you're too cute." Ashley giggled.
"That sounds great." She added. They went to a local on-campus diner because there was almost no one there at the time. She had flirted her way into getting his phone number, and went on her way. They didn't talk much at first; well, He didn't talk much at first, she talked kind of a lot. Double D did his best to answer when she asked him questions, but she was always the one to talk first; if she didn't, they just didn't talk that day. Double D noticed he was opening up to Ashley faster than he was to Marie. Then again, Ashley was also a lot more subtle and calm than Marie. He enjoyed talking to her, but he just could not force himself to text her first/ask her a question.
Two years went by like this; she would ask him questions, he would answer, and then she would ask him more questions. Occasionally she talked about her own life, and what she was doing outside of class. She was slightly disappointed that asking him questions repeatedly was the only way she could get him to talk, but she decided to press on; maybe eventually he would talk on his own. Finally, one day, she called him.
"Ashley! Uh... Hi!" Double D chirped nervously; she's always just texted him, so this took him by surprise.
"Hey, do you think you could come over? Playing "20 questions" gets old after a while." She joked.
"Yeah, sure. And sorry." Double D apologized for being quiet and borderline antisocial. He got to her house and she opened the door as if she was waiting all day just for him.
"So... I'm sorry to be blunt, but you've left me no choice." Ashley said in a slightly foreboding tone, but with a smile. This causes memories of Marie's bluntness to come flooding back.
"You haven't talked first even once. Or asked me any questions. I hate it when a guy makes me do all the work. So you mind telling me what's up?" Ashley confronted him, but not too harshly and with a smile.
"I... " Double D sighed.
"There was this girl in high school that I really liked. We were never officially together, but it really felt like it. She was very blunt and kind of intimidating. Part of me kind of liked it." Double D finally spilled the beans; and this time in more than 160 characters.
"What do you mean she was intimidating? How?" Ashley asked him.
"I... I don't think you want to know. I like talking to you. Even though it's you doing most of the talking. So I don't want to lose you." Double D declined to detail on what he meant by intimidating.
"Oh, you shouldn't have said that. Because know I want to know even more. Come on. You can't just tell me she's intimidating and I don't want to know how. And then just leave it t that." Ashley teased him.
"Come on. You told me this much. So at least part of you wants to tell me." She prodded.
"Please?" She was relentless, but a different kind than Marie. She was more like a kitten that was intent on playing with your sock. Marie was like a German Sheppard who thought it was a lapdog.
"Ok, how about this? If you tell me how she was intimidating, I'll let you feel me up. How does that sound?" Ashley asked in a flirty voice. Double D blushed and made some incoherent stuttering noises.
"Oh jeez, I'm just kidding. But seriously, I want to know. Please?" She batted her eyes at him. This seemed to be the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.
"Alright. You've talked me into it. But I will be very depressed if I lose you over this." Double D reluctantly agreed.
"I'll still be here. I promise." Ashley assured him.
"At first it wasn't really that bad. She made some dirty comments, but it wasn't anything serious. Then Thanksgiving Break came." Double D sighed after "Thanksgiving Break came".
"Oooh, don't stop now." Ashley encouraged him.
"I had actually come over the night before and spent the night there. The next morning I had to fly out of bed and zip off to school to avoid being late. When we got there, however, we found out there was no school because of the break. That's when she said 'well, I'm going home. And taking you with me.' At first I thought ' oh since I'm here, we will just go to her house, instead of me dropping her off and going home. I did actually try to leave when we got there, and was met with violent resistance. She physically dragged me into her house, and then tied my hands and feet with socks." Double D took a short break.
"She sounds pretty kinky. And yeah, that is kind of scary." Ashley agreed.
"Go on..." She nodded for him to continue.
"Later on, I went to take a shower, and she took all of my clothes. I said I wasn't going to come out naked and said 'fine. You can have these.' So she took off her underwear and tossed them over the shower curtain bar. And then sat in the bathroom until I finally put them on and came out of the shower. She even armed the burglar alarm so I wouldn't escape through the window. The whole break, I had nothing on except for that pair she gave me." Double D's voice quivered slightly during that last part.
"Wow. Um... That's... That's something..." Ashley was at a partial loss for words.
"And then there was the weekend after Thanksgiving Break…" Double D mumbled without realizing he was thinking out loud.
"Oooh, what happened the weekend after Thanksgiving Break?" Ashley's eyes were wide with curiosity.
"Wha….no, you don't want to know. It's kind of graphic. I… I don't want to offend you." Double D blushed and declined to comment any further on what he just accidently let slip.
"Oh, but you had me at 'It's kind of graphic'. You can't say something like that and then not tell me. That's just mean." Ashley was not letting go of the subject.
"No, I… I shouldn't have said that." Double D declined again.
"But you did, and that's what matters. So come on, please? I won't be offended." Ashley promised.
"Alright. Since you asked, I guess…" Double D sighed.
"She called me and invited me over, since I didn't have anything that needed to be done right away, I went over there. We talked for a bit. Then I asked her for a drink. I was a little uncomfortable with the conversation we were having so I thought I would ask her if I could go get myself a shot of the liquor she had in the refrigerator. She said she will get it for me because she was going to get a drink too. She got me a regular glass. Poured a shot of liquor in it, and then filled the rest with Pepsi. "Double D began.
"I don't know what you were scared of. This isn't anything bad." Ashley sounded slightly disappointed.
"Then she crushed up and ecstasy pill and stirred it in too." Double D remedied her disappointment.
"What?! Does she know that possession of MDMA is a felony? And then you still drank it?" Ashley asked in a shocked voice.
"Well, I didn't know that she put that in there. I thought the whole glass was liquor and she was just trying to get me drunk to take advantage of me." Double D explained.
"I drank the whole glass. We talked for a bit, and suddenly I felt really hot. And she looked way more attractive than she did 15 minutes ago. I mean, I was always slightly physically attracted to her because I thought she had a nice body; even though I would never show it. But the ecstasy multiplied that attraction a hundredfold. She arched her back to stretch and I couldn't take it anymore; I put my hands on her, and yeah…" Double D blushed slightly and hung his head.
"Augh! I'm so JEALOUS! I've haven't gotten to try it yet. I've heard about it, and heard that it is the best thing ever, but I could never get anyone to try it with." Ashley said as she squeezed a pillow in her arms.
"Well the next morning, I confronted her about it. She took me to the kitchen to show me what it was, but when she saw it, she was devastated. She had taken the pill out of a package of Rock Hard Weekend. She-" Double D's story was interrupted by Ashley bursting into laughter.
"I'm sorry. The name gets me every time. Please, continue" Ashley said after she composed herself.
"She told me she had intended to just slip the uh… stimulant into my drink as a gag; make some jokes about pitching a tent, let me feel up on her a little, and that would have been it. She never intended to slip me a hardcore drug like that. She was devastated. I felt terrible about confronting her like that because I felt like I made her cry by finding out what she really put in my drink. So I took the pill from the counter that led her to discover it was ecstasy and not… the other thing. And crushed up one for her to take with me. I look back now and I'm worried that she had all these pills there at the house, but at the time I didn't really care. I hated to see her sad. I told her I would rather be a druggie than see her cry. I kissed her and then we went into the living room…" Double D finished the story from where he was interrupted.
"You did it twice in less than 12 hours? One, do you know that's dangerous? And two, do you know how jealous I am? I almost wish you hadn't told me because I really want to try it now. But you're probably not trying that again, are you?" Ashley hit him with a slew of questions.
"Well…. I…." Double D began but was interrupted by Ashley half-tackling him.
"So you're considering it? I would love you forever!" Ashley blurted out before Double D could say anything coherent.
"I haven't even said anything yet." Double D tried to hold her off.
"You didn't say no, so that's what made me happy" Ashley chirped.
"You remind me of that girl I told you about with how relentless you are about some stuff. But you're the cute kind of relentless. You're a kitten playing with someone's sock. She is relentless like Attila the Hun. And yet, I've got feelings for Attila the Hun. Well, to be honest, I've started to have some feelings for you too, but she has been there since high school. She's not here now, I know, but she will come back. I know she will." Double D admitted.
"Well you said yourself you were never an actual couple. One time wouldn't hurt. And I promise to leave you alone about it afterwards." Ashley smiled.
"If you are able to leave me alone about it after one time, you did something wrong." Double D warned her.
"That's actually part of the reason she isn't here with me." Double D began to explain, but with an awkward pause after the first sentence.
"Oh… I…I'm sorry…" The cheery radiance drained out of Ashley's face.
"Wait, you said she will come back… what did you mean?" she asked.
"I meant I will see her again. I left because I wanted to take X again too much. It was too expensive and I didn't want to get too much into it and ruin my 4.0 GPA. I knew I had multiple scholarships to multiple colleges, so I didn't want to throw it all away. What did you think I was going to say?" Double D explained.
"Oh… you just made it sound like she died from it." Ashley pointed out.
"Her innocence died from it, but that's about it" Double D said under his breath, but Ashley heard it anyway.
"I heard that!" Ashley chirped.
"So she lost it on X? I'm even more jealous than before. She probably melted. If we ever do try it, you will probably have to put a pillow over my head so your neighbors don't call the cops on a bloody murder/noise complaint." Ashley admitted.
"So you're... You've never had a boyfriend?" Double D asked; he didn't worry about what the question was, he knew she would welcome him asking a question for once.
"No, not really. Haven't really been looking either." Ashley said indifferently.
"I'm honestly surprised you don't have one. You haven't even...?" Double D trailed off.
"Should you decide to drop X with me, you will be my first" Ashley was not letting go of the X story.
"Oh... No, your first time should be special. With someone you like. And probably not a goody-two-shoes like me." Double D tried to discourage her.
"But it would be special. Because you're someone I like. And it would be special because you're a goody-two-shoes. It would really mean something to me. I would be just another high enhancer for anyone one else I find." Ashley was starting to pull out the big guns.
"I... I better go. I don't want you to do something you might regret. You need to think about this." Double D said as he tried to leave but Ashley denied his exit, holding him tighter.
"Please don't go. I've had no one to talk to or be around these two years of college. You weren't really helping by just being a diary. Today is the first day I've actually felt like someone cares." Ashley was getting heavy, and not physically.
"Let me try to call her. If she doesn't answer, then I'll stay. I know we weren't a couple but it would still feel weird for me." Double D gave her a neutral answer. He picked up his phone and dialed Marie's number.
"We're sorry, the number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service." A robotic voice squawked.
"Now I'm even more worried. I mean, I know it's been two years, and numbers change and all that, but why hasn't she called if she got a new number? I have to go see her." Double D said as he got up, unrestricted this time.
"Do you want to come with me? I'd like you to meet her. I think she would be happy to see that I've come out of my shell enough to actually talk to people." Double D offered.
"Oh, one of those shell types? You will have to tell me more about this later. But, yeah I guess. If it won't be too weird. It has been two years. It would be a bit weird if you just showed up with some random girl." Ashley wasn't sure whether to accept or not.
"Well, I don't really want to go alone. What if it doesn't end well?" This was all Double D had to say to convince her. She got dressed for outside and they headed off to Marie's house.
"Construction Zone?!" Double D exclaimed when they got to the mobile home park.
"Her house is still here. I'm going in. I will try not to be long." Double D told his passenger. He got out of the car and walked up to the door. He knocked and waited several times with no answer each time. He walked around the house and saw that all the lights were off but Marie's window was still slightly cracked; and he could hear music playing very faintly.
"Hey, come help me climb into the window." Double D asked Ashley to help him investigate this strange happening. They both walked up to Marie's window and Ashley helped him get up to it. It took some effort, but he was able to open the cracked window and climb in. The lights were off but the iPod was still going. Double D pulled out his cell phone for light. He paused the iPod and put it in his pocket. [She would never just leave her iPod somewhere.] He thought as he went into the living room. Nothing seemed to have moved. He looked in the refrigerator and saw the liquor bottle still sitting there.
"I wonder..." Double D mumbled to himself as he opened the drawer under the counter near the sink. The packet of Rock Hard Weekend was still there; there was even two pills inside. He checked the pantry and took the Sharpstone from the shelf.
"She even left her sketchbook..." He sighed as he went to Marie's room and picked up both of her sketchbooks and the box of colored pencils.
"I guess this is goodbye..." He said as he felt his eyes tearing up. He handed the sketchbook and coloring pencils out the window, then climbed out himself. He closed the window and embraced Ashley.
"She's gone. I don't know where but she's gone. But it wasn't of her own will." Double D sobbed. They walked around to the front of the house and saw the "Condemned" sign on the front door. This was the final nail in the coffin.
"Can you drive?" Double D asked.
"Y-yeah... Sure." Ashley replied; it made her sad to see him like this.
They got home and Double D just sat on the couch, staring at the sketchbooks.
"I can't believe she's gone. Of all the times I thought I lost her, this time it's for real." Double D mumbled.
"I know you loved her a lot, but at least you don't have to deal with this loss alone. It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. I know it's overused, but it is what it is." Ashley said in a comforting voice as she sat next to Double D and put her arm around him.
"She didn't even say goodbye. It's like she just vanished into thin air. And she's told me she feels just about the same about me as I do about her." Double D sighed.
"I haven't known her for as long as I've known you, but I almost feel like I didn't exist before I met her. She's shown me a lot about the world. She made me feel alive. Sure, I didn't like her method of doing things at the time, but now I would give anything to be roughed up and or pinned to a wall by her body. I know that sounds like I just miss her body, but that's not it at all. The only time that I physically showed her that I was attracted to her was when I was drunk or on drugs. I always got so shy and embarrassed when she even joked about getting undressed." Double D was barely able to keep his composure; he didn't want Ashley to see him like that because he knew it would upset her greatly.
"I could probably rough you up and pin you to a wall if you want" Ashley blurted out but then blushed as soon as she heard herself say it.
"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for. I don't know what came over me." She quickly apologized and hugged him tighter.
"No, you're fine. You're just trying to help. She would do that too sometimes. We would be talking about something serious, and sometimes depressing, and she would make a random witty/dirty comment to lighten the mood." Double D assured her and remembered his conversations with Marie that always ended in him blushing because of her comments.
"I... What do I do now?" Double D asked rhetorically.
"Be strong. I'm sure she wouldn't want to see you like this." Ashley assured him.
"Well, I'm going to go change into something more comfortable. Putting on actual clothes to meet guests is good and all, but we've known each other for two years now, so I'm sure you're not going to mind if I'm in sweatpants and a t-shirt." She added and went to her room. [I like Ashley, and I like how she does things at a slightly slower and less brutal pace, but I really can't see her replacing Marie.] Double D thought to himself as he continued to stare at the sketchbook. [I should look through her sketchbook. That's always taken my mind off of things.] He picked up the first sketchbook and started looking through it. [Where did she go? I know she said she went to go change, but that was almost 15 minutes ago.] He wondered; he knew it did not take that long just to change a pair of pants and a shirt. He got up and walked to Ashley's room; he heard some strange muffled noises when he got close to the door. He opened the door and saw what looked like a pile of dried, crushed leaves on a small coffee table, and a humming metal box with a hose coming out of it; there was a number display on the front that read "491°".
"Just what is that on the table? And don't say it's oregano." Double D demanded.
"Shut up and hit this." Ashley ignored his question.
"What is going on? I thought you said you were going to go change." Double D asked again.
"Quit asking questions and hit this. I'm not going to tell you again." Ashley commanded.
"I-I'm sorry! I'll be quiet." Double D cowered under her unusually stern tone. He took the hose from her hand and drew air through it.
"What was that about?" Double D asked after he coughed a couple of times. Ashley took a hit and passed the hose to him again without a word. Double D took a hit from it again; he didn't cough this time, and Ashley seemed to be smiling again. After Double D took a few more hits, she took the hose out of the box and tapped the rim of it on the table. She scooped the pile of crushed leaves into an ace of spades and tipped the card into the hose; she put the hose back in the opening on the metal box and hit some buttons, causing it to stop humming.
"This is a vaporizer. You should be feeling pretty awesome in a few minutes because that was some high grade real estate." Ashley finally answered Double D's question.
"Real estate? I just inhale a mortgage contract?" Double D asked in a worried voice.
"Marijuana. Pot. Weed. Mary Jane. Real estate is just one of the many names for it." Ashley explained. She hit a button on the vaporizer and it started humming again. After they finished that bowl, she coiled up the hose and put it in what looked like a cloth cube along with the vaporizer itself; she didn't want Double D or herself tripping over it or falling on it.
"So, you feeling better now?" She asked.
"Well, not too much different, but a little better." Double D replied. He stood up and didn't really feel much different, but a couple seconds later his vision started rapidly getting darker and he fell over onto Ashley.
"If you wanted to feel me up, you could have just asked. I wouldn't have mind" Ashley said in a flirty voice.
"Uh… sorry… I kind of lost my…balance…" Double D talked slowly but without stuttering; surprisingly, he wasn't blushing even though he was lying on top of Ashley.
"So you realize you're on top of me, right?" Ashley asked in case he didn't notice from the first hint.
"Yeah, but with all due respect, I really don't care." he mumbled.