Elsie stood naked in front of the mirror, she smoothed her hands down her slender frame, across her belly. She rubbed her hand around her belly. It was flat, a small pooch that she had never lost from her first and only pregnancy. She closed her eyes and began to cry...again. The memory of his touch, his kiss, was too much. 'I can't do this...' she thought. How would she ever manage her emotions once Joe and Benjamin returned home. She had not gone 10 minutes without crying since Charles had rode away from the cottage that morning. She had truly expected her husband and son before now but her heart was too broken to worry. She felt ashamed that her thoughts were only for him and what had happened these last four days. She felt different, her body was different.

She finally dressed. It was late in the day but she did have to look like she was okay when her family arrived home. Soon, the familiar sound of the wagon and horses reached her ears and her heart leapt in her throat. She truly was relieved to know they were alright. She wiped her eyes, tucked the loose tendrils of her hair behind her ears and put on a smile as she reached the doorway.

"Hi mum!" Ben came through the door and kissed her on the cheek. "How'd you get on without us?" He took his satchel off and threw it on the kitchen table.

"Oh...I got on fine love. Nearly washed away though!"

"Hello pet." Joe came through the door and pecked her on the cheek. "Damn mess this rain has caused!" He grumbled.

"Yeah...it is isn't it? What trouble did you run into?" Joe took his hat off and laid it on the table. Elsie didn't say a word but removed the satchel and the hat and hung them both on the hooks by the door. "I've never seen the likes of this kind of rain."

"We missed it..mostly. It got us about an hour outside of Bristol but it was beautiful in Bristol. It took us a little longer to get back, roads washed out all over the county."

"What's to eat mum? We're famished!" Ben sat at the table as did Joe.

"I have sandwiches...I wasn't able to get out and do much so I didn't cook." Her heart sank a little. She had never been so unprepared to care for them. "I'm sorry love..." she rung her hands and turned to get the bread.

"It's okay mum...sandwiches are fine!"

'God i love this lad!' she thought to herself. 'how could i ever leave him?' She turned to toward the sink to hide her emotion.

They ate, telling Elsie all about their trip, the market place, the pub they went to each evening. "Da let me have a pint!" Ben grinned as big as he possibly could.

"Well don't you get used to that!" Elsie couldn't help but smile.

"It were just one love." Joe chewed a piece of bread and gestured toward his wife.

"It's okay..." She reached over and touched his hand.

They finished supper and Elsie chose to leave the dishes for later and joined them in the living room. Joe fixed a glass of scotch, held the vessel up and remarked, "Did you drink a lot while we were away?" He held it up and smiled at her.

Elsie's heart stopped for a moment. She had totally forgotten about the scotch. He wouldn't have known about the ale, she always got him that but she rarely touched the scotch. "Uh...I did love...I'm sorry."

He paid little attention and sat in his chair and grabbed the paper he brought with him from the village. "Unnerved were ye by the storms?"

She was so thankful he was so easy going and clueless. "Yes...yes...oh it was awful at times and I was...it helped ease my nerves..."

"Mmm..." he grunted and took a sip, the paper in front of his face.

"Well...I'm going to bed." Ben got up and kissed Elsie. "Good night."

"Good night pet. I love you." Elsie kissed him back.

Elsie sat quietly watching her husband. Her heart was aching...for Charles. Her body was aching for him and his touch. She knew that touch would not come from Joe. But she needed him tonight. She was sick to her stomach at the woman she had become in just four days. 'An adulterer' ...she thought, 'a plotter...' She had never really seduced her own husband but things had changed and she was worried.

She followed Joe to bed when he announced he was going. He had turned and gave her a curious gaze. "What ye doin?" he questioned.

"Going to bed." She couldn't look at him.

"Since when? You never go when I go!" He talked while taking his clothes off. He stood naked for a moment, before slipping his dressing gown over his head. She sighed deeply, knowing this would be a challenge. She didn't want Joe but she needed him to make love to her.

He got into bed and Elsie hesitated, turned her back to him. She slowly undressed, hoping he might watch and become aroused. She slipped in beside him sans her night gown, her knickers. She was trembling and closed her eyes, praying she could calm herself. She finally turned to him, pressed her body against his. Joe just looked at her. "What are you doing Elsie?" His words hurt even though they weren't unkind necessarily. He had every right to question her, she never did this.

"I...just...missed you...that's all." She lied.

"Oh you did?" He smiled slightly. "Hmmm...interesting..." She brought her hand to his face and caressed his cheek. "Well...let's see what we can do about that." Joe wasn't a romantic, that was for sure, but he was a man. He had never done much to help Elsie feel like she was desirable to him. She had been so perplexed by this. He loved her, she didn't question that but he had never exhibited any real desire for passion. He was not a lover...not even close to what Charles had been.

"I'm tired Elsie...it's been a long day. I'm not sure if I've got it in me tonight." He sighed heavily and reached under the covers and started stroking himself. He spent some time before Elsie reached down and tried to help. "NO! I can do it..."he grumbled, annoyed.

Elsie turned on her back, turned her face away from him, tears streamed down at her temples. She closed her eyes and thought of her lover, Charles, as Joe climbed on top of her. She parted her thighs and he entered her with clumsy force. She was dry and she winced at the pain. He was none the wiser. She squeezed her eyes shut and it wasn't long before it over. He emptied himself inside her and that was what she wanted...that was all she wanted from him.