Chapter Ten
Pulling on the hand brake Jack saw Ianto sitting on the beach throwing pebbles into the approaching tide. Jack let out the breath he felt he had been holding on to over the past hour as he had visited each of Ianto's favorite places, relieved to see he was okay. He stopped himself, this was what Ianto was complaining about; the constant worry everyone close to him kept expressing consciously or subconsciously about his wellbeing.
He got out of his car and sat down next to him. "I thought you might be here," Jack said as he took in the view and picked up a pebble and joined Ianto into tossing one towards the incoming waves.
"I like it here," Ianto stated as he kept his eyes on the waves.
"I know it's your thinking place," Jack replied.
"I am surprised to see you," Ianto said after a few moments as he tossed another stone.
"Why?" Jack said hurt creeping into this voice.
"You know," Ianto told him matter of factually.
"What I know is my actions caused someone I care about to be hurt," Jack told him as he picked up another pebble tossing it up and down in his hand as Ianto looked at him.
"I have baggage, Jack, monumental baggage," Ianto admitted honestly.
Jack tossed the stone he was holding into the sea. "You know I have a fair amount of baggage myself, I have done things, things I am not proud of and I have secrets of my own," he said as Ianto looked at him.
"Is that the immortal can't die thing?" Ianto asked him as he saw Jack startle.
"How, how do you know?" Jack stuttered as he sat bolt upright.
"I worked in the archives at Torchwood One," Ianto said stating the obvious "I came across fragments here and there enough for me to work it out."
"And I thought I had removed everything," Jack admitted still recovering.
"Nope not everything," Ianto told him as they both took in the rolling grey waves as the inched their way closer to them.
"So which one of them told you?" Ianto asked after several long moments had passed as he saw Jack look uncomfortable. "Was it Tosh or my sister?"
Jack squirmed and looked directly at Ianto "I have a confession it was me, I was working at transferring the records from Torchwood One. There was a disc with your personal files on them I am not sure how they got there but…"
"How much did you read?" Ianto asked sadly shaking his head.
"Enough," Jack admitted ashamed of his actions as he saw Ianto take a deep breath.
"I am damaged goods Jack. This is your opportunity to run like hell," Ianto told him not wanting to look at him.
"Ianto, I don't see you as damaged goods, I see a brave and courageous man overcoming terrible events," Jack told him thankful for being able to set the record straight "And I'm not exactly prime goods myself, I've done things; terrible things, enough to keep a psychiatrist busy for a 100 years type of nightmare things," he exclaimed.
"A hundred years," Ianto repeated. "Maybe you should start seeing my psychiatrist? I could I give you her number if you like," he said light heartily as he picked up another stone and hefted into the oncoming waves.
"So it was my boyfriend who snooped." Ianto said after a few moments and several rocks later as they tried to out throw each other.
"Am I your boyfriend?" Jack said surprised as he looked at Ianto.
"We have been dating," Ianto told him has he returned Jack's look and took hold of his hand and interlaced their fingers
Jack gently squeezed his hand back. "I guess we have," he said as he chortled thinking of all the personal and intimate moments they had shared.
"I was wondering when we were going to, you know, kiss," Ianto told him.
"I wanted this to be on your terms," Jack said kissing the back of his hand.
They both sat watching the waves, "So if I'm your boyfriend we had better go out on a proper date then," Jack told him
"Proper date?" Ianto queried now leaning in towards Jack.
"You know, meal and a movie" Jack told him putting his arm around him.
"Will there is kissing?" Ianto asked hopefully.
"Yeah if you want," Jack told him astonished at the speed of events.
"Could we do some kissing right now? " Ianto asked as they leaned in together and kissed sweetly then pulled back.
"Definitely more kissing," Ianto commented eagerly as they kissed again more deeply this time.
"Ianto we do this at your pace, you are in control," Jack told him as he pulled back.
"Any chance for a snog then?" Ianto asked as he put his hand behind Jack's neck pulling him even closer as their lips crashed together.
Pressed against Ianto who was standing with his back against his car, Jack pulled back from Ianto with extreme reluctance as Ianto's mobile phone rang. With some difficulty they had finally reached Ianto's car. Progress had been deliciously slow because each step had been accompanied by kisses.
Jack ran kisses along Ianto's neck while Ianto tried to talk. He wasn't listening to the conversation because all his attention was pulled to the fine hair on Ianto chest which had been exposed when he had unbuttoned the top of his shirt and unloosened his tie. He ran his hand under Ianto's shirt and up his back as the phone call ended and they found each other's lips again.
"Staff," Ianto managed to say. "Wages," he added after a few seconds.
'Wages, staff," Jack repeated continuing to pay attention to Ianto's neck.
"My shop, pizza, coffee, I close at five." Ianto told him.
"Okay," Jack said as he pushed himself away with difficulty as Ianto pulled him back and kissed him.
"Pizza," Jack repeated looking up at Ianto his eyes dark with lust as took his hand and started kissing each fingertip.
"Coffee, I promise you best cup of coffee ever," Ianto said as he put his hand in his trouser pocket for his keys.
"Let me get those," Jack said as he put his hand into Ianto trouser pocket and moaned as he felt Ianto's hard cock through the fabric and pulled the keys out.
"They're all warm," Jack told him raising his eyebrows as he handed them over.
"I wish I didn't have to go," Ianto told him as he touched his forehead against Jack's.
"I understand," Jack said as he pulled away, as Ianto tided himself up not taking his eyes off Jack as he took one step towards the SUV then turned back towards his car smiling as he saw Jack smile back at him.
"Pizza, I like Hawaiian, extra pineapple," Ianto shouted after him as he saw Jack giving him the thumbs up. Opening his door Ianto put his head on the driving wheel then redid the top button of his shirt, re-did his tie and he drove off.
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Jack watched as Ianto drove away, and then turned to watch the waves drive themselves up the shingle beach. As much as he wanted Ianto to stay he was relieved he had gone because he needed to think. He walked back down the beach and sat down, he felt like he had been in some kind of emotional washing machine. He pulled up his knees and placed his head on them and closed his eyes and allowed the sound of the waves to flow over him. He could see and hear why Ianto liked it here so much. So much had happened and it had certainly blown the lid off everything and on top of that Ianto knew his big secret. He had lived in fear of what Ianto might think if he knew. Here it was laid out and he not only sensed that his secret was safe and understood but he had felt Ianto's total acceptance and it felt wonderful.
And now he held Ianto's secrets as well. He thought back on the day's events and Ianto's surprise at seeing him here hurt. Ianto had expected him to use the opportunity to run, 'how did he put it 'run like hell.' Well maybe there was some truth in that because in the past he would have bolted, so what was different this time. Ianto had a horrendous recent past, a descent into hell so deep he had only just made it out. He felt his heart swell and he was so grateful that this man had lived and no matter how lonely his own past had been and all the events that had brought him to this spot he knew wouldn't trade it for the world. A wave almost touched the toe end of his boot and an understanding came to him about why Ianto had been holding back, it was a simple question of trust. Ianto didn't trust him. He wanted Ianto to trust him; he wanted Ianto in his life, because the difference in all this was him, and only him. He stood up and jumped back as a wave almost ran over his boots. 'Please let me be worthy of this man' he said to himself, 'if nothing I ever do in my long life, let me be worthy of this and let me earn his trust.' He took a final look around and, picking
up a small pebble he placed it in his coat pocket and headed back to his car.