There was a reason Zechs was always working Sunday's, they were supposed to all get together as a "family" and have dinner. The four of them sitting around the formal dining table pushing food around their plates, pretending that they liked each other. That they were normal. Zechs cursed himself the entire train ride there. He flat out refused to let his father send a car for him. He nervously crossed and uncrossed his legs the entire length of the ride. So lost in his thoughts, he hardly even realized that he'd walked the entire length from the train to the front door step without noticing his surroundings. It didn't take long for his step-mother to answer the door.
"Hello honey." It was genuine, he tried to believe. She kissed his face and wrapped an arm around his waist as she took the bottle of wine from him. The wine was more of an assurance that they'd be drinking, rather than an actual nicety. "I made sure that the chef made something vegetarian."
"Thanks." It was an attempt to melt the aloof iciness in his voice, but it failed and she winced at his tone. "I'm sorry Kitty I didn't mean to sound ungrateful. I appreciate it. I've just had a long day." With more sincerity he hugged her tightly. She had longed for him to eventually fall into calling her "Mom" after his mother passed, but he could never give her that pleasure. The least he could do was give her a heartfelt embrace, so he wasn't a complete disappointment as a son. He could feel her smile against his shoulder as she returned the hug with her free hand.
"Come now. Relena and your father are already in the sitting room."
Joy.
Not only was Relena's obnoxiously perky excited face present, but the scowling brow of her boyfriend was sitting dutifully beside her. The night had just escalated from unbearable to nauseating in under a minute of being there. It might have been a record.
"Milli, it's so nice to see you. You didn't bring your boyfriend?" There was earnest obliviousness in Relena's expression, but Heero covered his smug smirk and raised an eyebrow at him.
"No, I'm sorry I didn't." It wasn't really an explanation, but he was relieved when Kitty handed him a glass of wine. Looking at Heero's smirk and his pressed slacks and pressed shirt, he felt under dressed. The fact that Heero was even in his house acting like the perfect son-in-law had him sneering. Wasn't it typical for families to be able to have a casual dinner night? It had been a hasty change from scrubs back into jeans, and he was already running late. His father, after all, hated tardiness. Marty Peacecraft watched him mindfully, making note of his appearance and seemed disapproving of the mention of his love life. It was a safe bet to just let himself take the seat next to Kitty on the settee. She was perhaps the only one he could even stand at the moment.
"You're seeing someone new?" Kitty asked placing her hand gingerly on his knee as an open invitation. She had been the only family he'd talked to about the fallout from him and Treize. She'd helped him find his current brownstone and even promised to not mention the embarrassment to his father. Smiling at her, he tried to pretend like it was only her in the room, as he motioned to smooth the messy ponytail that was nearly unsalvageable after a scrub cap.
"It's still new." It was a forced smile and she knew it, but she still patted his leg. He rubbed the back of his neck, squeezing away the strain and tension. It had been almost two days, but the bruise there still remained. Duo had really bitten him rather hard, and he was cursing the fact that it didn't want to heal. Even if just the thought reminded him of how amazing it felt at the time. Which, led him to thinking about the photo Duo had sent him of himself in a blue v-neck sweater he had absconded with out of Zechs' closet, and only that sweater. He had posed himself leaning up against the couch with his legs spread and the sweater pulled down between his thighs with one hand, and he playfully bit into the index finger of his other hand. He had no idea how he'd gotten the photo with both of his hands occupied, but it was too arousing to second guess. Self-consciously he pulled the collar of his jacket up hoping no one would notice. Even if they had, he knew they'd really be too embarrassed to say anything. Just stare at it like it was leprosy or some oozing sore no one wanted to mention, because it was hideous and contagious.
"Are you still seeing Heero's roommate?" Out of nowhere, Relena questioned. Zechs looked towards Heero for a reaction, but he only swallowed his wine and refused to make eye contact with him.
"Yes." He said candidly, crossing his legs as he mirrored Heero, taking a sip of wine. It was all he could do to not look at his father practically squirming in his chair, as if he could escape from the conversation if he just positioned himself correctly.
"Let's have dinner shall we?" Marty stood up from his chair, more stating than asking if everyone was ready. That was fine with Zechs. The faster they ate, the faster he could leave.
There was too much cutlery at the table for Zechs' taste. The more utensils around your plate, meant multiple tedious lengthy courses. It started with a salad. It would have been appetizing if he hadn't gotten stuck between his father and Heero. There he was pretending to be the perfect doting boyfriend, handing Relena a roll and a pat of butter. Anticipating her every need, before she could even think to want for it. All the while, Zechs knew he was trying to convince Duo to be his side piece, once again. Available to him when he wanted something Relena wasn't going to give him. It took more willpower than he had anticipated to keep his mouth shut. The sudden anxiety came across him, that this may never end. He may actually be stuck here, in an endless loop of a bad dinner party for eternity.
"Are you okay dear?" Kitty topped off his glass as he looked up from the lettuce he was pushing around the plate aimlessly.
"Oh yes, sorry did you ask me something?" Setting the fork down he set his hands in his lap.
"Yes, I asked if you wanted to go to the symphony with us on Thursday?"
"That sounds nice, but I can't. I'm going to Duo's season opening performance. Maybe Heero can go in my place." With a cordial smile he looked over at Heero, who tried to disguise his lack of enthusiasm for having to attend the symphony.
"Yes, Heero please come it will be so lovely." Relena squeezed his hand as Zechs couldn't hide his smirk and Heero silently cursed him.
The sight of vegetable lasagna had never given Zechs so much relief. It was a carb and hopefully that full warm feeling would take over and the uncomfortable feeling would become a background feeling, nagging at the back of his chest. It was bad manners, but he couldn't help it. He excused himself from the table when his phone vibrated in his pocket. Everyone watched him exit, and he tried to look like he was taking a work call even though everyone saw him drinking. He'd be in no state to operate tonight. No, the smile on his face gave him away. Zechs stood in the sitting area drinking his wine waiting to hear Duo's voice.
"You there baby?" He'd almost forgotten how that voice hit him in the heart and the groin simultaneously. Duo always sounded like he had smoked a pack of hipster home rolled cigarettes the night before. Gravelly and dangerous.
"I'm here. Sorry I can't get too exciting I'm at my parent's house for dinner. I really enjoyed waking up to your picture this morning."
"Ugh, I should have known since Heero is gone. I just thought he was working tonight." The sigh Duo breathed into the phone sounded more aroused than irritated. He could hear him land heavily on this bed. "What am I'm going to do with myself without you to tell me what to do?" Zechs could just see him flushing and biting that full bottom lip. It would be wet and just arching to be kissed.
"You're so bad." He chuckled a little breathlessly. "When are you free again to grace me with your presence, or are you going to make me wait until Thursday?"
"Hmm, well you can buy me lunch tomorrow if you aren't busy saving lives or whatever?" Zechs could practically hear the eye roll through the phone.
"I would love to take you to lunch. You want to hit up some strip clubs? They have buffets right?" His reward was a loud full laugh that he was sure shook Duo's chest and his belly.
"You have never even eat at a buffet in your entire life your majesty. I bet you're having multiple courses right now made by your parent's personal chef."
"I'll think of some place deserving of having your presence there beautiful." Chuckling, he saw Relena standing in the doorway gesturing at him. "I'm sorry I'm being summoned."
"Fine, fine. Good night my sweet prince." Duo blew a loud kiss into the phone before he hung-up. Not sure if he was all that comfortable with being compared to Hamlet. Though, murdering his father had a certain ring to it.
"I'm sorry I didn't know if you were done with your lasagna or not?" Relena almost looked apologetic, but he smiled. He couldn't help it, clearly. "Were you talking to Duo?" A soft smile crept across her brightly made-up lips.
"Yeah. I'm coming back in." Crossing the overdone series of Turkish rugs he met Relena in the doorway.
"Bring him to my birthday. I want to meet him. Especially if he makes you smile and turn down pasta." That sounded like a recipe for disaster. He could just see Heero swallowing glass rather than having Duo and Relena in one room together.
The rest of dinner remained awkward, and it was sheer relief when they asked him to grab the carafe of coffee from the kitchen. Zechs knew where his father stashed his whiskey and he poured some into his mug before topping it off with the steaming strong coffee. He took the carafe with him, and started pouring coffee into everyone's mug as they'd returned to the sitting room. His father covered his mug before he could lean in too close. The silence was never ending, like a conversation embargo.
"So Heero, Duo's your roommate isn't he?" Kitty crossed her legs and waited while he swallowed the sip of coffee. She didn't even know how much of a loaded gun she was playing with. The thing that frustrated Zechs even more, was that Heero remained cool, like he didn't have anything to hide.
"Yeah, we've been living together for a few years. He's got a rent controlled apartment and he needed the extra income." Zechs didn't even bother hiding the snide little chuckle that statement caused. He could always blame it on the whiskey.
"That's nice. So, did you introduce him and Milliardo?" It still felt foreign, after all of these years, to hear his first name. His mother had always called him Zechs, and Milliardo always felt like an imposter. He didn't belong in this elitist home. As sympathetic as Kitty was, it wasn't like she ever corrected her husband when he publicly denounced his son's "lifestyle" and slowly started asking him to disappear when he was elected as a congressman.
"No, I think they found each other on their own. Just a coincidence." Heero tried to smile through it, but he didn't seem like he really wanted to give up any more details.
"He came into the ER with a head lac and asked me out when he came in for a follow up." The whiskey in his coffee emboldened him and the room fell silent, almost as if they had forgotten he was there. "On that note. I've got to get back I've got a lunch date tomorrow and I'm pulling an overnight shift tomorrow night." Standing he thought to look for his jacket, but he remembered he'd neglected to remove it. No one seemed to question it, perhaps they were used to his lack of etiquette. He moved to kiss Kitty's cheek and he squeezed Relena's shoulder. "Thank you for dinner it was lovely."
Kitty followed him to the door. "Please come back soon. I know it's not easy for your dad, but I miss you. Don't be a stranger." She hugged him again, tighter this time. She even waited on the porch for him to safely get into his cab.
xxx
The idea came to him when Zechs saw the strawberries in his fridge. Originally, he'd bought them to make french toast for Duo, before their perfect Saturday morning had been interrupted. He arrived at the restaurant early and smiled at the lone gerber daisy in the generic glass vase on the table. Everything was reminding him of Duo, even this yellow flower on the table. It was really starting to be pathetic. This was supposed to be fun and casual. Zechs' eyes made a path behind the flower at the pastel pink trousers and he moved up past the loose grey v-neck to that full bottom lip pouted with the arm of his sunglasses pulling it down between his teeth. All thoughts of doubt felt like background noise that he couldn't differentiate.
"Famous Belgian waffles?" Duo smirked, taking the sunglasses from his mouth to hang them from the point of the neckline of his shirt. They weren't visible, but Zechs had felt the fine hairs on Duo's chest and the weight of the sunglasses pulled the shirt down exposing his sternum and he longed to feel them. It wasn't until Duo waggled his fingers in front of him that he realized he was so obviously leering.
"You look dazzling." It wasn't really an apology, but at least he was looking into Duo's eyes. It was really no better than if he had been ogling a woman's cleavage, but Duo didn't seem displeased.
"Thank you. You can look just maybe not touch here in front of all of these waffle aficionados." Reaching across the table, Duo grabbed Zechs' hand suddenly needing the contact.
"I haven't even given you any wine and you're already in a touchy feely mood." Squeezing the soft palm back, Zechs used his hand as leverage to force him to lean across the table for a kiss. "I'm hoping taking you to brunch will make-up for Saturday."
"It's already forgiven." Duo mumbled against his lips. The way his heart raced gave him away. "So, what's good here the waffles or the waffles?" Looking over the laminated menu, Duo ran his eyes erratically before turning it over as if he were speedily reading through his options.
"I rather enjoy the waffles, but you get what you want." Zechs took a sip of his coffee. It was chickory, so he indulged himself in the half and half the waitress had brought out to him.
"So, how was dinner last night?" Smoothing his hand over the menu he reached across to take a sip of the surgeon's coffee before deciding if he really wanted his own cup. It was a comfortable familiar gesture, that did nothing to ease the infatuation Zechs was falling into.
"Painful as always, but I did manage to use your performance on Thursday to get out of going to the symphony and managed to force Heero into going in my place." A devilish smirk played across his lips.
"Well at least he'll be out of our hair Thursday." With a heavy sigh the waitress interrupted Duo's next thought and Duo promptly asked for a coffee. She was not amused with his charming smile or the sweet way he talked to her. "What is it with me? Older women hate me. Look at Mrs. Waters." Rolling his eyes he crossed his forearms in front of him.
"Mrs. Waters hates everybody. I've never even seen Mr. Waters, so for all I know she has him trapped inside of there." Chuckling he nursed the coffee, wrapping his fingers around the mug to steal its warmth.
"Anyway, I'm really trying to find someone to replace Heero with. If you know anyone looking for room and board please beg them to live with me, so I don't have to see him every damn day." There was a fake smile tugging at the corner of Duo's mouth, but he knew Zechs would see right through it. It was more that he hoped it wasn't an issue that needed to be pressed. He was lucky the waitress came back by to take their order and sloshed the coffee across the table in his direction.
"I'll do the lemon curd waffles." Despite the fact that a fourth of his coffee spilled over the edge and onto the table Duo still maintained a calm pleasant disposition.
"That sounds good I'll do the same." Without any confirmation she took the menus and left them. "So, what's been going on with Heero?" Not missing a beat, Zechs continued propping his chin up on the palm of his hand. He tried to keep his expression neutral, but Duo was already fidgeting sitting on his right hand and biting his bottom lip.
"He's just...a pain. A giant pain in my ass. He doesn't want to take 'no' for an answer, because he's stupid jealous. I don't want you to think I'm afraid of him or anything. He'd never try to force me into anything, he just thinks that my resolve will weaken if he pushes me enough. It's like he thinks I'm dating you to get back at him, instead of just moving on." Pouring a little cream into the now stained mug, he looked down as an escape from the judgement Duo was positive would be directed his way from those stormy eyes.
"That's pretty predatory, if you ask me. It sounds like Heero's got some serious issues with his own identity. If you need space, let me know. You can always come over, even if I'm not home." The offer was given flippantly, but Duo just stared, a little taken aback. They'd only been out a couple of times, and he felt guilty that he was burdening Zechs with his own problems.
"Isn't it a little early for a U-Haul? Are we lesbians now?" It was a joke, but it was the first time he'd really gotten Zechs to blush. The panic that came across his face at the insinuation was enough to know, that at least Zechs wasn't trying to push this relationship too fast.
"What's wrong with lesbians? Don't tell me you're one of those gays that marginalizes women." Swallowing down the initial panic as he watched Duo smirk, he decided to just avoid the situation with humor.
"Dorothy is the best life coach I have, she's probably the only person I know that's in a healthy relationship. Not to mention, the most talented dancer I've ever worked with. I owe her my career." Even if it was a joke, the issue wasn't all that funny to him. He'd dated and worked with those types of men and that was not him. He worked with young women and watched them blossom into amazing talented dancers. The last thing he wanted to be was become the type of mentor that made them feel less than. The world would show them enough of that, without his help.
"That's Lucy for me. We've been friends since undergrad." Zechs couldn't help but smile. She was the first person that made him feel like he belonged somewhere. Like he didn't have to pretend.
"If you're asking me to think of you as my 'safe space' I'm not ready for that yet. I'm sorry." Hesitantly, Duo answered the question he'd avoided answering in the first place.
"Well, when you are I'll be here."
Duo really wanted to believe that.