A/N: Yes, we are to continue slogging through this story. To recap – RON KISSED ALEXI!
Alexi pushed him away gently. "Ron we can't –"
"Why not?" Ron asked angrily. "I like you Alexi, I really do. Don't you like me?"
RonFan: Hold on! Since when was Ron a whiny brat? I'm not liking this …
UnbiasedReader: Yeah me neither. How do we have a triangle concerning Alexi, Harry and Ron yet without making one of them an idiot and completely out of character?
CluedUpReader: You don't, it's an em-ess fic remember?
"Ron, I do. As a friend. That's it. I'm sorry." Alexi tried to explain, but it was useless, her pleas falling on deaf ears.
"You'll come to see that we'll be together. Just wait" and with that, Ron left Alexi sitting on his bed. In the dark. All alone.
SarcasticReader: Waaaah!
RonFan: Why is Ron the enemy?
Author: Because I don't like redheads?
AllReaders: (scandalous) Oooooh.
Term progressed as usual. Hermione was ever the study bug, urging the other two boys to have the same enthusiasm as she did, constantly parading the fact that this was their second last year of Hogwarts and therefore one of the most important in their lives. Harry and Ron then retorted with the fact that she had been telling them this since First Year.
"Honestly, you two. You're going to have to get your act together!" Hermione said in a frustrated voice after both Harry and Ron were to be found playing chess when they should've been completing their Charms homework.
"Calm down 'mione –
PedanticReader: Why is it always necessary to shorten down Hermione's name? It hasn't happened canon-ly in six books, it isn't going to start happening now!
PretentiousReader: Because the Author is lazy as hell. Just you watch, we'll be seeing "Hermy", "mi" and " 'mione" a lot more often.
- we've got ages. And I have to still beat Ron here!" said Harry, lazily reclining back on his comfortable armchair. Hermione rolled her eyes and heaved a loud sigh. She wondered where Alexi had gone off to. Professor Dumbledore had called her to his office after dinner. Hermione hoped she wasn't in any trouble. But as the days went by, Hermione noticed her and Harry's not-so-secret (to her at least. The rest were oblivious) relationship blossom as Ron became more and more withdrawn and secretive. She could only imagine what had happened before Ron stormed out of the Common Room that night and when Alexi came to her bed silently with tears in her eyes.
Hermione sighed as she went back to discussing the effects of the Transforming Dandruff Into Ice Cream Charm on the wider community in her Charms essay.
(Meanwhile)
"Alexi, you may be wondering why I called you into my office tonight" said Dumbledore kindly to Alexi who was sitting with a politely curious look on her face in one of Dumbledore's armchairs.
PervyOldManLoverReader: Oh, I can think of many a reason. (smirks in a suggestive manner)
AllReaders: EWWWWW!
Author: Yeah that is wrong. Why did I even allow that?
Alexi smiled in compliance, so Dumbledore continued. "I do not like to ask anyone for favours, especially of one of my students, but only you can complete this task I need desperately to be carried out."
Alexi began to look confused at this. "Why me professor? Why do you need me exactly for this?"
Author: (flicks through collection of Alias DVDS) Hmmm, mission, mission. I've got "Sydney in mental institution", "Sydney intercepts some information", "Sydney goes goth" and "Sydney pretends to be a rich, snooty investor". Which shall I use?
ConfusedReader: Who's Sydney? What's Alias?
AliasFanReader: Sydney is a character in the Author's most favouritest show, Alias.
ConfusedReader: Isn't this the Harry Potter category in fanfiction though?
Author: Yeah … but … it's my story and I shall do as I please! (goes off in a huff)
Dumbledore continued "I need something to be picked up. Intercepted would actually be a better word for it." He faltered here so Alexi decided to take the baton, so to speak.
"Please sir, I think it would be easier for both of us if you just spoke frankly"
He smiled at that "Very well. It has come to my attention that a Death Eater is to receive a package containing vital information about Voldemort's plans this weekend in Hogsmeade from one of their informants"
ShrewdReader: The Author has obviously given this fic a lot of thought.
CuriousReader: How do you figure that?
ShrewdReader: Hello? Blocky exposition above! A pointless blocky exposition that did not help continue the romance storyline! (chants) EM-ESS! EM-ESS! EM-ESS! (Continues to read shrewdly on)
Alexi didn't miss a beat with surprise. "Are you sure? Is your source accurate?"
"Very accurate. To say that he lost an arm would be an understatement" Dumbledore's eye twinkled. Alexi didn't know whether he was joking or not, but decided that if he was, he had a very morbid sense of humour. She took a moment to absorb this.
"And how do I fit into all of this?"
"Your task, strikeout Sydney /strikeout Alexi is to take the place of that Death Eater, receive the package and deliver it safely to strikeout SD-6 /strikeout me" announced strikeout Sloane /strikeout Dumbledore.
"But what am I to do with the Death Eater?" said Alexi.
"I leave that up to you."
AstonishedReader: WHAT! Since when did Dumbledore condone killing people?
"But of course, you do not have to do this Alexi. I'm asking you because I know that you are both capable of this task and of taking care of yourself" said Dumbledore with only a hint of slyness in his tone.
CynicalReader: PLOT CONTRIVANCE! This is ridiculous! Why would Dumbledore entrust such an important mission to a 16 year old? What were the rest of the Order doing?
HappyReader: Helping the elderly?
TipsyReader: Having tequila on the beach!
SadReader: Reading fanfic.
"Well, when you flatter my ego like that, how can I refuse?" said Alexi. "What's my cover story?"
AnnoyedReader: What the heck? Since when did Harry Potter and spies collide?
Author: When I said so! Alias rocks!
AliasFanReader: Aye, it does.
AnnoyedReader: What exactly are you trying to do here?
Author: If you haven't noticed yet, I'm trying to create a super Mary Sue character that has all the features of every protagonist of everything that I've read, seen, heard, smelt, touched and tasted.
AnnnoyedReader(WhoIsTurningIntoCuriousReader): You've tasted a protagonist?
Author: Only twice.
After memorizing a large black dossier in Dumbledore's office, Alexi decided to take a walk outside in the grounds even though it was twilight and the school is a huge target for a bunch a crazy mass murderers blindly following a leader named Tom. Oh yeah, and it was probably against the rules too. No matter. Alexi strolled along the Lake's edge, breathing the crisp night air and trying to secure in her mind who she was to be. Her name was to be "Ethel Moonshine", a green eyed blonde in her early twenties with a mixed Caribbean/English accent. Alexi wondered at Dunbledore's concocted cover story for her, but conceded to herself that he must've had his reasons. Although the tiny fact that Ethel had a cross-dressing, shovel wielding monkey fixation was beyond her. Nevertheless, Dumbledore had faith in her and believed her to be more than up to the task.
AttentiveReader: He did?
Author: He did. Let the record show that he did.
Yet a smidgen of doubt was bothering the back of Alexi's mind. Sure she had gone under aliases before, had a knack for accents (not to mention that she was fluent in eighty-nine languages) and could lie, cheat and steal her way out of anything, but this was new. All of her other ventures before had concerned demons and vampires. Her own enemy. But this was an entirely new evil. These were humans, no matter what they did, they still had souls – technically.
ScaredReader: Uh oh. Our heroine is having thoughts. This is not good …
Alexi was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't even notice someone behind her until he wrapped his arms around her.
"I missed you" Harry breathed into her ear.
SkeevedOutReader: That's disgusting. What if he just ate something garlic-ky?
AllReaders: (immaturely) Ewwww.
Alexi turned around in his arms and gave him a bright smile. "Me too" and gave him a sweet kiss.
SarcasticReader: (sing songs) Sweet like chocolate …
"What did Dumbledore want?" asked Harry with a look of concern in his eyes. Here Alexi shrugged and dropped her gaze down.
DirtyReader: Down where? Heh.
AllReaders: Oh, shut up.
"It was nothing. Don't worry" she said and leant in to kiss him again.
This then lead to full on macking out next to the Lake. In public. Ew.
What the couple didn't know however as they shared this passionate embrace was that a certain redhead was watching them from a sixth storey window.
IndignantReader: Pervert!
Ron watched jealously as Alexi and Harry kissed, wishing that it was him that Alexi was – oh god, I really can't go any further here – and not Harry. Rage and anger grew in him until he could no longer take it and stomped away angrily.
What the couple also didn't know was that Draco also just happened to be behind a convenient nearby bush, spying on the two with a made up periscope consisting of a milk carton with two holes in it and two mirrors stuck inside at specific angles so that they'd reflect perfectly off each other. You know, those periscopes? I'm sure you've made one before. If not, then you really have to give it a try. Sure, you look like an idiot walking around looking through that thing while bumping into couches and table legs, but it sure is fun! Anyway, Draco smirked at the prospect of knowing a way to get to Harry as well as getting Alexi whom he had fallen in love with over the past few weeks, despite only speaking to her once where she regarded him as something less than a used up toothbrush. But hey! She's beautiful! Ain't that enough?
ObservantReader: Someone's bitter!
Author: (takes a swig from a bottle) You have no idea. And shut up! (throws bottle towards general direction of ObservantReader)
Alexi goes on a contrived mission! With violent, gross results. You have been warned!
P.S. Are there any Mary Sue C2s around? Help!
Badfairy – Haha, I'm considering banishing Alexi to that magic-free zone. And while Alexi's parentage might sees like an MS style plot hole, it really isn't. Because I have reasoned that Snape is Alexi's brother while Voldy is just her dad. Yes, Snape had a sister. And there's nothing you can do about it! Yes, I'm checking myself into the mental asylum soon. After I've finished this story. Promise!
Anyadelacour - I don't speak French. But Babelfish does! (foreshadowing for next chapter) Yes! I am formidable! Thank you so much for the wicked cool compliment in French. I can honestly say that you are the first to have done that. Love you! Yes, researching completed MS fics are difficult. Help! I hate to disappoint you, but the next few chapters will be anything but mushy holiday season goodness.
Freja– Thanks for the help anyway!
Music nerd – Music nerd has come to read my HP story! And she has brought family along! Yay! Why aren't you allowed to post stuff? Thanks for the music trivia, I shall whip it out when I am at snooty dinner parties and impress all there with my incredible knowledge of music! Tamora Pierce is great, but I'm afraid I've lost track of her work in recent years. The last one I read was Trickster's Queen. Yes, there a lot of POTC references in this fic. The line you missed was "consider them marked" that someone in my fic says. Yeah, it's from Norrington, early in the first film when Gibbs is all "its bad luck to have a woman on board, even a miniature one. Mark my words!" DON'T kill your many selves dammit! Who will post me a billion of reviews each day then?
theLostLyrics – Believe me, this fic is straying dangerously into MS territory. It's because I need a plotline - it can't all be mushy lovey, dovey stuff with me unfortunately (even though mushy lovey dovey stuff is what MS fics are all about).