Broken

Hello again. Yes, I do know the feeling El. I am going through it right now with Phil.. Except ya.... That's why I can write about it so easily. LOL! Anywyz enjoy this chp. And thank you for the kind reviews! ENJOY! All my love, -Katie-

Disclaimer- I don't own Jimmy or the song Broken... P.S. BOLD ITALICS Song lyrics

I wanted you to know.. That I love the way you laugh

Broken was menacingly playing over the radio and Jimmy had it turned all the way up. He sat in his chair, his head buried in his hands, and his mind was relentlessly thinking of the blonde girl. She was so beautiful, her gentle green eyes.. Her soft touch, the smell of vanilla present in her hair... the soft feel of her lips against his... her warmth spreading to every inch of him. Like he had drank a carton of hot chocolate.. Just the thought made him warm and fuzzy. Warm and fuzzy? What an expression! How could he feel this way? She didn't love him, it was impossible to love someone if the didn't love you back... Or is it?

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away

Was there such a thing? He had read about it in plays, in works of fiction! It was all fiction. He was going crazy. He had already taken the first steps, even before he was marked! It was the truth! He was chosen because he was already mentally unstable.

I keep your photograph; I know it serves me well

The song was playing louder and louder as though it was speaking to him. He stared at the pile of papers he had picked up. I am nothing.. She is everything.. The thought ran around in his head. It was the strangest thing he had ever felt in his life.

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain...

No one wanted him.. He was nothing.. He was broken.. He had no heart.. No feelings.. To her.. He was nothing...

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away

Was there any life left in him? He laughed as the song drained the tears from his eyes. He buried his face farther into his sleeve. He had to stop this nonsense... and then he felt a touch on his arm. He jerked his head up, only to find himself still completely a lone. Goddard sat on his small bed with large, sad eyes. He was going to have to get used to that. He was a sad sac story. Why oh why did love have to be so cruel? Why did she have to leave him? It was like some sort of cruel spell. She was a mystery. One minute she was there.. Loving him.. Acting like he was something.. The next... she was gone.. Gone.. Gone..

The worst is over now and we can breathe again

He stared at a blank spot on the wall. Goddard got up and rubbed against his leg.

A message flashed across his green screen.

TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL..

" Are you crazy Goddard? It's not like she can ever feel the same way! We are supposed to be enemies remember? She will never.. She can never love me the way that I love her!" tears falling again. Boys weren't supposed to cry. Lately though, Jimmy had disagreed with that statement. He scowled at the song still playing slowly over the radio.

I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away

There's so much left to learn, and no one left to fight

He wanted his pain to end.. He wanted someone to take away the pain. Literately. He wanted someone to come and take it away. He loved her. He loved her so incredibly much. His love would never be returned. It was like a wall..

I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

No matter how much you tell it to move, no matter how much you tell it to feel. It can never feel, it can never know, it can never understand. But maybe that was the point of this whole, "Curse" thing. No one could understand it. It was unexplainable. It was undescribable. He slammed his fist on the table. He wanted someone to understand! He would give anything for someone to understand.

" Jimmy! Time for supper!" His mother yelled. " Turn down the music!" he scowled at the voice. His family, his life would have to continue on. He would have to fight this indescribable pain. Of knowing, the person he loved, loved someone else. It would be the undoing of him. He would go down in flames.. All because of a blonde-haired, green eyed girl named Cindy Vortex.

Why? Why of all people did he have to chose her? There had to be someone better then her.. Could he find no one? NO! He looked and looked, he searched in fact. He even searched in the dead of night, in his dreams he searched. But no matter how he searched, he always found himself back.. Back to her.. Back to the beautiful Cindy Vortex. His heart would be forever hers. He would stand a far.. And he would watch her date Nick, he'd watch as she fell in love.. He'd watch as she walked down the aisle. Into some wonderful person's arms... he would watch as the person took her away.. Forever... Who was he kidding? She had gone away a long time ago!

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

He finally snapped and threw his hand against his stereo system and listened to the music of the noises and clicks it made to try and play the rest of the song. He wasn't just broken.. He was torn apart, chewed up, spat back out, and left on the floor to let dry..He was never going to forget this day. He headed up the stairs, to safety..away from his pain in the lab. His mothers smiling face greeted him.

" Are you alright?"

" Ya sure mom.. Just fine.. Just fine.." he snapped as he sat back down.

" I see Cindy Vortex came to visit you.. She's quite the little lady.. I think she likes you!!" she smiled cheesily. His father broke in at this point.

" She's right ya know Jimbo.. She may just like ya.. HAH! Finally, our little Jimbo is growing up! You see.. She insisted that she see you.. Like it was an emergency or something.."

" DAD! MOM! SHE DOESN'T LIKE ME! SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW I EXIST!" his voice filled the room. They sat with there mouths hanging open to about the floor. He blushed a fervent red as he stood up and whispered the words.

" I am not hungry.. I am going upstairs.." Silence followed him.

" Jimbo!" he heard his father calling. Screw you dad! You can't understand! At least you had mom! He was not used to thinking these thoughts. They were starting to unnerve him. He had never yelled at his parents like that before. Cindy was obviously his point of weakness... Weakness? She's your dang downfall remember? Could it be possible.. Could this love be actually scientifically possible? NO! Well, it shouldn't be possible. To love someone your supposed to hate! To care for something, that doesn't care back...can't I see? I will never be anything to her! But I will never.. I can never stop loving her. He laid down on his bed and watched as the night stars shined brightly. They seemed to be the only thing giving light any more. He stared at them. They seemed to cry with him. Their tears inter-joined with his. He closed his eyes and the gentle breeze tickled his ears as he softly sang..

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel light when you're gone away

You don't feel me here.. Anymore...

HAH another short ch. These are just to show the immense pain inside of Jimmy, and yes they do have a reason. There are important details hidden in each of them... so you'd better believe there is a reason for them!