Imagine Dragons - Battle Cry
This song inspires me to write Eric whenever I'm lost. This song is just so "Eric" for me. Haha.
Chapter 9
.
The small apartment was almost silent. The only sounds that could be heard were the unsteady breaths of the girl lying on the couch and her small whimpers of pain. The only source of light came from the half opened bathroom door. Eric's distinct shape could be seen kneeling next to the couch.
He couldn't fool himself anymore, not that it had ever really worked. He obviously cared about her. He hadn't shot her when she came to his door fully conscious, had he? It pained him to see her suffer like this. But after all he'd worked for all these years, what was he supposed to do?
He'd passed initiation. He'd managed to become a leader. He'd made a name of himself, people feared him. And it was all thanks to Jeanine Matthews. Surely if he decided to help and protect Tris he would be betraying Jeanine, giving up on their plans. Or were they ever his plans? Or just her plans? He would not only be putting his career, but his own life at risk. Was he willing to do so? Did he have the guts? It all came back to braveness. Was he a true dauntless? Did he believe in ordinary acts of bravery and standing up for others?
This was bullshit. If he didn't do anything, Tris's life would be at risk.
"Eric?" Tris croaked out.
He removed his face from his hands and his eyes snapped to Tris's weak form on the couch. She was shivering; her skin seemed so pale and glistened with sweat. He studied her face; strands of blond hair were plastered to her cheeks and forehead. Her eyes were tightly shut and her jaw was clenched in pain. Eric was tempted to stroke her cheek to soothe her; he lifted his hand.
No! Eric dropped his hand and stood up. He moved to the wall across from the couch. He could not afford to let himself waver. No, not even for Tris. He leaned his forehead against the cool wall, trying to block out the sight of her trembling on his couch, and pressed his fists next to his head. Just when he'd convinced himself to ignore her, she had to come to his door and reveal herself as a Divergent. She just had to be in pain. Why? No! He would not weaken. God, why did she have to make things so fucking difficult? His life would be so much easier if she'd never shown up.
"Why?" Eric shouted angrily.
He slammed his fists into the wall, leaving indentions there.
It was so powerful that a startled whimper came from the couch.
Eric whipped his head around at the sound. His gaze locked on Tris. She looked so weak. Tears were now rolling down her cheeks. He had never felt such pain that wasn't caused by a fist or boot to the chest.
Fuck it. Fuck it all.
Eric moved to her in one step. He could not bear to see her suffer any more. Fuck Jeanine. He'd think about the consequences later.
"Tris," he softly whispered. He bent down and gathered her in his arms as gently as he could.
"Eric," her small voice called for his attention, "I think I'm gonna puke." Her lips trembled as she clenched her eyes shut and gripped his arms. "Like, right now," she gulped.
Eric hastily carried her to the bathroom. As soon as she was kneeling before the toilet, another wave of nausea constricted her chest painfully. But nothing came out. She just cried. One hand held back her hair as he whispered soothing words to her, while the other wiped away the tears on her cheeks.
After a minute her knees failed her and she would have fallen on her side if Eric hadn't caught her. He pulled her against him as he stood up and then he carried her to his bed. He settled her head against pillows before reaching for the covers to wrap her shivering body.
"Tris," he said.
Eric kneeled next to the bed and bent until their foreheads touched. His black hair splayed around her face, just like her blond ones on his pillows. He vainly wished that he could take away some of her pain just by the contact.
"My head. It-it hurts so much," she cried, completely forgetting her pride at the pain. Tris would never usually complain about pain.
"It's okay," he hushed her moans of pain. "I'm here. I'm going to make it stop, alright?"
When he straightened to go for his door, something tugged at the sleeve of his jacket. He looked back at Tris and the hand she had on his sleeve.
"No." She licked her dry lips. Her eyes were pleading. "Don't leave," she slowly added in a voice that she probably wanted to sound strong, but still came out weak. Eric felt his chest tighten and reached for her face with both hands. He gently traced her cheekbones and jaw. He didn't want to leave either but he had no choice. He had to do something about her headache.
"Tris?" he pushed back all the strands of hair that stuck on her face because of the sweat.
"I have to take care of it, okay? I promise I'll be right back. I won't let anything happen to you. You're safe here. Just wait for me, alright?"
Tris stubbornly shook her head and gripped his jacket even more tightly.
"Trust me?" he whispered.
She shut her eyes, waited for a few seconds, and slowly nodded. Yes, she did trust him. She let go of his jacket.
Eric had discovered that she was Divergent and had then laid her down on his bed. He promised her he would stop the pain. Although she did trust him, she was still afraid that trusting him was a mistake. She couldn't help but remember her fear landscape during the final test. Now she would see what trusting him would bring her and what he would do about her Divergence. He hadn't killed her yet, but that didn't mean he wasn't about to leave to get someone to execute her.
Eric kept walls around himself. From time to time she saw glimpses of the real Eric, but most of the time all she got to see was the same front he showed everyone. She couldn't say she truly knew him, but she liked to think she knew some things about him. She felt in her heart he was worth a try; he was worth an attempt to get him to open up and show his true self. Because he was so much more than what he let other people think of him. Despite outward appearances, Tris thought Eric was brave and fearless. He was clever. He could be cruel, but it was caused by the turmoil inside himself. He just needed someone to get past all his barriers.
And she needed someone like him, someone clever that could understand her. Someone that wasn't as superficial as the others. She loved her friends, but they did not understand her as much as she would like; they did not notice her insecurity. Instead, they pitied her. They were no Eric. Tris was positive that he would come back and help her. He wouldn't betray her.
.
Once outside Eric let out a shaky breath. It broke his heart to leave Tris alone while she was suffering. He wanted to be beside her and hold her firmly against him. His decision was made. He was going to protect Tris and think about the consequences later. Eric was surely the perfect alpha Dauntless, but it didn't mean that he couldn't be as clever as an Erudite. After all Jeanine did not pick him to be part of her plan for nothing. So being the Erudite that he was, Eric knew exactly what he had to do to stop Tris's headache; or at least, he hoped he was right.
He confidently walked to the control room, a few corridors and stairways away from his apartment. As far as Eric knew, only a few soldiers were in there. Among them was Tobias, but they were under the serum. Supposedly. There had been suspicions that Tobias was Divergent, but he had passed the final test either way.
He reached the metal door of the control room and slammed it open.
"Men!" he barked as he barged inside. Tobias and a Dauntless man were sitting in front of several screens that all showed different parts of the city where they could watch the mission and control the Dauntless soldiers under Jeanine's orders. Together, the screens made a wide one which covered almost the entire wall facing the door. Two other men were standing still near the door guarding the entrance.
The four men turned to Eric who stood in the middle of the red lit room. Their eyes were empty of any emotion; it almost frightened Eric.
"Yes, sir?" they answered monotonously in unison.
"Some Divergent rebels are hiding near the Pit. I don't want to waste my precious time chasing them. You go find them," Eric improvised. "Now!"
"Yes, sir." Tobias and the other man stood up at the same time and all four of the oblivious men exited the control room.
As soon as the door shut again, Eric exhaled heavily in relief. Tobias was really under the control of the serum and he was glad for it; he didn't know how it would have turned out otherwise. Four had protected Tris before, so maybe they could have worked together to help her. No. Eric selfishly wanted to be the one to release her from her pain and keep her safe. He wanted to make up for all the things he'd done to her before. He had been such a jerk. He should have never let her take the serum after the Final Test.
Eric stepped toward the computer and its large screens.
"Alright," he muttered to himself while cracking his neck. "Thank you dear Jeanine". He knew exactly how to control the program thanks to her. He had no trouble navigating through the different menus. He found with ease the web that showed thousands of red icons scattering; each icon for a soldier. Red meant that the soldier was under the effects of the serum. He launched a search and quickly located the red icon that represented Tris. He clicked it. And with a swipe of his finger the icon switched to black, shutting off the effects of the serum
.
Eric was confident that the illness Tris was experiencing was the result of her mind fighting for dominance over the serum. Now that the program should be disabled on Tris, he thought that she should be okay.
He closed the program and switched back to the camera footage of a street in Abnegation that Four had been watching.
Eric didn't wait for the men to come back. He shut the door behind him and ran as fast as he could without being seen by the other Dauntless who were not under the serum.
He was panting hard when he slammed against his door, not quite able to stop completely. His heart was beating fast, but he didn't wait to recover from his run. He opened the door; his eyes went directly to the bed.
To find it empty.
Eric frowned.
And almost lost his balance when something, or rather someone, slammed against him. Eric gripped the frame of the still open door and kept himself standing.
Tris had jumped at him, her arms tightly wrapped around his neck, but he was so tall compared to her that her tiptoes barely touched the ground.
Once her head had felt better Tris had been pacing the room, waiting for him to come back. When she had heard the keys turning, she had launched herself at the entrance without thinking.
It took Eric a moment to react. He groaned as relief flooded through him. He closed his arms around her small body and buried his face in the crook of her neck.
"Tris," he whispered and planted a kiss at the base of her throat.
Tris shivered and dropped her hands to his chest.
"Thank you," she croaked out, "thank you for making it stop. Even though you know I'm Divergent." She exhaled shakily and felt tears welling up in her eyes.
"I was so scared. When you left me here. I- I trust you. But I couldn't help thinking that maybe, maybe you-"
Eric lifted his head and let his eyes find hers. That was all it took to stop the end of her sentence. His gaze dropped to her slightly parted lips, then back to her eyes. He leaned towards her.
Tris took a step back, away from him.
She didn't decide to move away from him; it had been a reflex to get away from Eric. Stupid reflex. She needed to work on that. She was too flustered and extremely nervous now though. She had never been this close to a boy before. She had never been intimate with anyone before. Eric was a man, not a boy. Eric and his breathtaking eyes and his inviting lips. As soon as she noticed the hurt look on Eric's face, she regretted moving away from him.
"The- the door," she stammered in an attempt to find an excuse, any excuse. Why didn't she just let him? Let him what though? Whatever it was she wanted it badly herself. She was so stupid, so so stupid.
Eric let out a nervous laugh and turned to close the door behind him. He understood perfectly that Tris didn't step away because of the damn door. He understood that she didn't want anything romantic with him. Of course. Why would anyone as gentle and kind as Tris want to kiss him? He shouldn't have even tried. It was already surprising that someone like Tris would befriend him. But then again, she shouldn't have thrown herself at him so recklessly, he thought bitterly. What did she expect?
He cleared his throat and turned to face her again.
"It was the serum they gave you this morning that was causing your-"
Eric stopped in mid-sentence when he saw Tris chewing on her lower lip while closing the gap between them. Eric didn't hesitate again. He crushed his lips to her.
He was instantly hit by an overwhelming sensation that almost made him groan.
Tris felt a rush of heat on her face and something in her chest tightened as she closed her eyes. Eric had met her lips so strongly that she stumbled back a bit; but he put one hand on her lower back and pulled her firmly to him. She was shocked by the coldness of his lip ring but he started to move his lips against hers. The sensation was too much for Tris, she made a little noise and gripped his shoulders.
His kiss was exhilarating. She felt alive. She tentatively kissed him back, causing him to make a deep noise in the back of his throat. Her hands caressed the back of his neck and disappeared into his black hair. He moved his hands up and down her back. Then she felt his tongue stroke her upper lip and she shivered again. She had never kissed anyone before, but she instinctively knew that opening her mouth was the right thing to do. She'd never felt that much sensation before. When his tongue found hers, she let out a whimper. Something stirred in her gut. Then his lip ring took her attention again and she sucked on it, causing another groan from Eric. Eric squeezed her waist and slid his tongue back inside her mouth, taking over control. Their tongues slid against one another sensually.
They finally parted, the need for air too overwhelming. Both of them were panting, still standing close enough for their foreheads to touch.
For a moment, just for a moment, the rest of the world didn't exist. The only thing that mattered to each of them was the other and the fact that they were together and safe.
"I feel so relieved." Tris sighed and moved her head back to look at his eyes. "You know about me and it feels so great. You don't know how much I wanted to tell you before, but I wasn't sure how you would react. And it was selfish to put you in a delicate situation because of all of this."
"The Stiff is back," Eric chuckled lightly. "For a moment I thought you were Dauntless."
"But I am a full Dauntless member now, remember?" she pouted jokingly.
"You know what?"
"What?" she whispered.
"You should really wash this sweater. It's been more than a week." He said while running his hand through her hair.
Tris tightened her arms around his torso and leaned her cheek on his collarbone.
"I don't want to."
"But you do have other sweaters to wear," Eric chuckled and she felt his chest rumble under her cheek. She buried her face in his shirt, enjoying his warmth.
"Yes, but it's not the same," came the muffled sound of her voice.
Had she looked up at that moment, Tris would have seen Eric's cheeks a shade redder than usual. Thankfully for him, she did not.
He leaned down and planted a kiss on her brow.
"You know, you can take whatever clothes you want from my drawers."
Tris almost squeaked; almost. She lifted her face from his chest and offered him a wide smile. He couldn't hold back a little smile either at the sight of her blue eyes sparkling with joy.
"Really?"
In response, he led her to the drawers.
"Can I take a shirt?" she gazed up at him.
He pulled a black sleeveless shirt from the bottom drawer and handed it to her.
"You can change in the bathroom."
Tris nodded with a smile and shut the door behind her once she was there. She quickly changed into the new shirt. As expected it was too large for Tris; so large that the sleeveless piece of cloth fell on both of her shoulders, giving the impression that she actually had short sleeves. In the privacy of the bathroom, she allowed herself to bring up the shirt to her nose and inhale. Then she inspected herself in the mirror and decided to wash her face, seeing how puffy her eyes were because of the tears.
After a minute, she walked out of the bathroom and headed back into his arms.
Then her eyes suddenly widened.
"Eric! What is going on with everyone? I almost forgot! They all acted like robots. It's a serum, right? That's how you knew about me. Because I wasn't under control."
Eric dropped his head on her shoulder and groaned.
"Why do you always have to bring me trouble, Tris?" he muttered. "My life was perfectly fine until you almost fell into the Chasm."
"Oh," Tris blushed, "I'm sorry."
"Your Abnegation is showing." He looked in her eyes, "You need to stay here in my apartment. I have to go, but you need to stay hidden."
"What? No. There's no way I am hiding. Tell me what's going on."
"You don't need to-"
"Eric. Tell me."
He ran a hand in his hair and sighed in frustration.
"Erudite is attacking Abnegation to take over the government. They needed an army, so they came to Dauntless. We collaborated with them to execute an attack."
"No," she breathed.
"Jeanine has created a program that allows us to control every Dauntless member from the control room, thanks to a serum."
Tris's knees felt strangely weak. They were attacking Abnegation. Her parents were there. Was her brother involved in the attack?
"You. You worked on this with Jeanine. That's why you went to Erudite all those times."
"I am working with her," he nodded.
She felt completely betrayed. She knew that he was involved with Jeanine but… Eric actively participated in the attack against her old faction. As a leader, he was partly responsible for the onslaught that was happening in Abnegation and in Dauntless. Her friends weren't even conscious of what they were doing. Eric had helped plan this attack. Tris's hands were trembling. She had to flatten them against her thighs to steady herself. How silly she was; of course he was involved in such an attack. He had been controlled by Jeanine since the beginning and she already knew that. But, she had already decided Eric was worth her trust. That was it. She had to believe in him. There had to be more. She swallowed her saliva.
"But you saved me," she croaked out.
"When I was ordered to kill you on sight. Yes."
"Why?" her voice sounded desperate.
"Don't ask questions now. I have to go or they'll notice I'm missing."
"Wait! Why would they attack Abnegation? Why?" she raised her voice.
"Because, Erudite want power and the same goes for Dauntless!"
"But now you have the power to stop it right? You're a leader. They trust you."
She was almost crying. They had to do something or hundreds of people could die. "Eric!" Tris said louder, "we have to- you have to stop it. Innocent people are going to be executed!"
"Shut up. I already saved you, okay? I will hide you and no one will touch you. Isn't that enough for you?"
"Oh Eric," she looked up at him sadly. "It means so much to me that you saved me, but it's just me. You have the power to stop it. You must destroy the program or whatever is controlling the serum." Tris stepped closer to him and clung to his arms. They felt so big in her small hands. She had no idea how she could persuade someone as tough as Eric. "You are their only hope."
"Stop it," he narrowed his eyes. "You don't get to order me around. Don't forget who I am. I won't change my plans."
She gripped his arms tighter.
"Why not?" she whispered. "Are you really willing to let them die when you know you are the only one able to save them? It's my parents they're trying to kill. The people I grew up with. Innocent people, Eric."
Eric moved his hand toward her cheek and wiped away the tear that rolled down silently.
"Please don't cry," he scowled. "I wish you were satisfied by your own safety."
"Eric," she said forcefully.
"I can't," he turned away from her, clenching his jaw.
Tris held up a hand and settled it against his back.
"I don't understand," she whispered.
He waited a moment before answering, "I worked so hard for this." His voice wavered. "I won't screw everything up for you. Don't you dare ask me to do it. Please."
Tris's mouth clenched. He had said 'please', he actually had. Eric never begged. She wanted to hug him, to kiss him. But she had to focus on Abnegation.
She gripped his shoulder to turn him around and gave him a hard look. "Then let me do it. Let me go to the control room and stop the program."
His eyes hardened at this. "I can't do that either."
"You can't stop me," she dared him.
"Yes, I can," he said as he drew his gun from his belt and pointed it at Tris. He clenched his jaw and stared into her eyes intently.
.
She gasped and stepped back. This was the last fear of her landscape replaying in front of her. Except now, it was real. Eric was pointing his gun at her. But it wasn't the same anymore, was it? She forced herself to calm down. Eric hadn't kill her before, even when he had discovered her divergence. So why would he now? She wanted to trust him. She did.
"No," she said, her voice barely a whisper. "You won't shoot. I know you won't."
His jaw clenched again and he disabled the security lock on his weapon with a click.
"I won't let you mess with our plans."
Tris stepped forward slowly, one step after another, never dropping his gaze. When she was close enough, she reached for the gun, carefully. Both of her hands came to cover his on the gun; and she lowered his arms. Eric closed his eyes and inhaled deeply.
"I still won't let you to the control room," he whispered.
"Then I'll go find my parents."
"No! You'll be killed on sight if they see you're not under control," he yelled.
"And if I don't go, someone will kill my parents and other innocent people." She glared at him and went to the door of his apartment. When she reached for the doorknob, he didn't stop her. So she opened it and stepped outside.
"Wait."
In a click, Eric locked back the security system on the gun and tossed it to her.
"Take it. Soldiers are guarding the compound. They're conscious."
Tris nodded and shoved the weapon into the waistband of her pants.
"Tris," he clenched his fists at his sides, "don't do this."
She looked at him sadly, "I have to, Eric."
She walked back to him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She buried her face in his shirt and inhaled deeply, as if to remember his scent, as if it was the last time she would see him. Maybe it was. Maybe she was running straight to her death. No. She wouldn't die. And she would save her parents.
What about Caleb? Was he going to stay with his new Erudite friends and laugh when he heard that Dauntless had attacked Abnegation on behalf of his new faction? She pushed the thought aside. The priority was her parents right now.
Eric didn't return the embrace. His arms were limp at his sides. He locked his gaze on an imaginary point straight ahead. She noticed, and gave him a quick kiss on his jaw before awkwardly stepping back and rushing out of his apartment.
Once in the corridor, she allowed her tears out of her eyes.
.
AN: Uuuh tiring. Finally it's done! I hope you enjoyed.
Give me your thoughts please!
I really need to thank DoctorSmith for this chapter. If I were her I would have at least yelled at me for asking her to read and correct all my horrible mistakes! I couldn't have possibly done something this good alone. I don't know how to show my gratitude because we're on a website...
100 followers! Aaah! This is insane. I never thought I'd have 100 followers! Thank you Na-tan for being my 1st follower and Mrs. Scott Summers 24601 for being the 100th :D
.
Update (March 23rd) : To the Guest who signs each review with "L" - Thank you so much for the support, I really appreciate it.
I also wanted to thank all the new followers and simply anyone who reads my story. And... I'm sorry it will probably take me some time before the next update because I suck a writing action so it takes me longer to write and also I will be busy studying because I have exams coming up at the beginning of May and I really didn't study this semester... So don't think this fanfic is on hiatus; it is not, I know exactly what will happen next. I just need time to write it.