A/N: Some more troubling behaviour from Santana and some details get sorted out…still in the thick of the fallout at the moment so still very angsty. Probably will be for a chapter or so yet then things will start to progress a little bit instead of being so "one step forward two steps back" for Santana all of the time.
Thanks to all who have been so patient with me. I am a slack, slack little writer…
-G-
Leroy was surprised to find Santana dressed and padding around in the kitchen at 6.30am the next morning making coffee.
"Morning Santana," he greeted tiredly.
"Good morning," she replied shyly. Leroy was pleased to hear her voice. "Coffee?" she asked him, cautiously holding out the pot.
"Hell yes," Leroy grinned. He grabbed his mug from the cupboard and held it out to Santana, smiling as she carefully filled it. "How come you're up so early?" Leroy asked, moving to add sugar to his coffee.
"Couldn't sleep," Santana said softly. "Knew you would be up soon so I thought I'd make you coffee since I woke you at 3am," the girl blushed as she set the coffee pot down and took a sip from a glass of water that had been sitting next to her on the counter.
"Oh you didn't have to do that," Leroy smiled, simultaneously touched by Santana's thoughtfulness and pleased that she was interacting with someone other than Brittany and Rachel. He took a sip of his coffee and let out a groan of pleasure. "Oh but you're welcome to any time you like," he added, taking another sip. "Wow that's good." He opened his eyes to find Santana looking up at him through her eyelashes, a tiny, shy smile tugging at the corner of her lips. It disappeared as quickly as it came and Santana took a small step backward, her hands shifting to wring in front of her.
"Thank you," she said quietly, voice barely more than a whisper. "Thank you for letting me stay here a-and the clothes."
"You're more than welcome Santana," Leroy smiled warmly. "You don't drink coffee yourself?" he asked, changing the subject. Santana shook her head lightly.
"I don't like it," she told him softly. "I'll stick to my water."
As Santana turned around to grab said water, she misjudged where she was and accidently knocked the glass off of the counter with her elbow shattering it on the kitchen floor. Leroy put his mug down and instinctively stepped forward to clean up the mess, freezing when Santana immediately cowered away from him, backing tightly against the counter and protectively throwing her hands up in front of her face.
"I'm sorry!" she cried out fearfully. Leroy was temporarily stunned speechless by Santana's total overreaction to the accident. He pulled himself together and stepped around the puddle of water and broken glass, reaching carefully for the still cowering girl who began whimpering in fear. "I-I'm s-sorry, I-I'm s-sorry, I-I-l'll c-c-clean it u-u-up. I-I'm s-sorry. P-Please d-don't b-be m-mad at m-me! P-Please?" she pleaded, stuttering badly.
"Santana," Leroy said softly. She flinched and continued chanting stuttered apologies and pleading with him not to hit her. "Santana, sweetheart, it's ok; I'm not mad, I'm not going to hurt you. Santana, come here," Leroy was careful to keep his voice light and soothing as he reached for her again. Hoping he was doing the right thing, wanting desperately to comfort her and to show her that she was safe, he gently wrapped his arms around her. Feeling her flinch at the gentle touch Leroy kept his arms very loose so that she could bolt if she wanted to, but she didn't, freezing in place instead. Leroy carefully pulled her small, badly shaking body lightly against his own, one hand moving to gently cup the back of her head to hold it in place against his chest while the other rubbed gentle circles between her shoulder blades. "Santana it was an accident. I'm not angry at you and I'm not going to yell at you or hit you," Leroy reassured her calmly. "You're safe here, Santana. It's just a broken glass. It's not a big deal," he was beyond pleased when Santana began to relax in his arms and he leaned down to kiss the top of her head. "You're safe here baby girl," Leroy's voice cracked and tears sprung to his eyes as the reality of Santana's home life sucker punched him in the gut once again. The lump in his throat grew bigger when her slender arms hesitantly wrapped around him, her shaking easing ever so slightly as her hands tightly grasped the back of his shirt in her fists. Rachel chose that moment to walk in, stopping abruptly as she took in her Daddy's deeply sad, worried face and then the tearstained, still terrified face of the girl in his arms.
"What happened?" she asked, her voice conveying her shock and concern at the scene in front of her.
"We just had a bit of an accident and got a fright is all," Leroy told her gently with a sad smile, squeezing Santana tighter for a few seconds before releasing her and trying to guide her toward Rachel. It took a few long moments for him to coax her to let go of his shirt and go to Rachel and Leroy wondered how she had gone from being afraid of him to not wanting to let him go in the space of a few seconds. "How about you two go and sit on the couch and I'll clean up in here?" he suggested.
"Ok," Rachel said lightly, taking Santana gently by the hand and leading her out of the kitchen and over to the couch. Santana immediately pulled her hand out of Rachel's, sat down as far away as possible and stared straight ahead. "Do you want me to get Britt?" Rachel asked cautiously, not wanting to make Santana angry. She held out a tissue to the other girl who took it carefully, shooting a brief thankful glance at Rachel.
"No, let her sleep," Santana replied quickly, carefully dabbing at her eyes and nose. Rachel nodded and picked up the remote. She flicked through a few channels observing Santana's reaction to the shows that were playing. When she came across a marathon of Friends reruns she saw Santana's eyes light up a little and so she turned the volume up and settled in to watch. Twenty minutes later and Rachel was absorbed in watching Monica, Rachel and Phoebe prancing around in Monica's apartment in wedding dresses. She was so absorbed in fact that she jumped when she felt an arm brush against her own. She smiled apologetically at Santana who was now right beside her, watching her warily, and turned her attention back to the TV. She almost jumped again a few minutes later when Santana's head dropped very gently onto her shoulder, the taller girl's tense body curling slightly against her own. "Is…is this ok?" Santana asked, and Rachel hesitated purely because she had never, ever heard Santana speak so shyly. Santana started to move away when Rachel didn't answer straight away and Rachel mentally kicked herself for her hesitation.
"It's ok," Rachel said quickly, and Santana regarded her cautiously. "Really, I just, I'm not used to this is all. It's really fine," she told her, and Santana eyed her warily before moving back into her previous position, head on Rachel's shoulder and body curled slightly against hers. After a few minutes of testing silence, Santana gave a sigh and relaxed her tense muscles.
"Rachel?" Santana asked about a half a hour of surprisingly comfortable silence later. She had shifted away from Rachel after less than five minutes of contact, moving to lay down with her head on the arm rest and her feet next to Rachel's leg.
"Yes Santana?" Rachel replied absently, watching the screen.
"What's it like to have parents who love you?" Santana asked neutrally. Rachel swore she actually felt her heart tear in two within her chest. She swallowed hard and tried to come up with an answer but found that she couldn't.
"I…I can't explain that," she told Santana.
"Why?" Santana asked, sitting up to get a better look at Rachel, her face painted with deep confusion.
"I…I don't," Rachel swallowed hard again. "I can't explain because it's just the way my parents are. It's…I don't know any different to be able to explain," Rachel told her, her voice getting thicker and the lump in her throat getting bigger as Santana curled into herself more and more as she spoke.
"Oh."
"Santana," Rachel started, stopping again when she found herself unable to find the words to comfort the other girl. Santana looked deep in thought though.
"Your Daddy hugged me and told me it was ok when I broke something. Mine would have hit me, or yelled at me…or both. I guess that's the difference," Santana mused, her voice still neutral but with an edge of thoughtfulness now. Rachel felt a chill crawl down her spine at the simplistic, almost childlike observation of the situation. "I guess it's hard to say what it feels like either way until you've seen the other side." Santana, in a round-about, simplified way, spoke the truth. It was hard to see your own situation as anything but normal until you had been in someone else's. Rachel couldn't imagine her parents not loving her and treating her right because they just always had. Santana couldn't imagine living with parents who did love her and treat her right because hers never had. It was twisted and Rachel hated it. She hated it and she wanted nothing more than to wrap Santana up and insulate her against everything bad in the world. "Why are you crying?" Santana's nervous question broke through Rachel's haze of thought and she put a hand up to her cheek. Sure enough it was wet with tears. She hadn't even realised she had started to cry.
"Because I'm sad, Santana," she replied thickly, and a little dryly. Santana cocked her head.
"Why?" Rachel was almost exasperated with Santana's apparent reversion to the dreaded 'why stage' of toddlerhood.
"Santana stop saying 'Why' you're not two," Rachel sighed before she could stop herself. Santana immediately looked at down her hands like a scolded child and it hit Rachel again just how far gone the old Santana was. "That was a joke, honey," Rachel said softly.
"Sorry," Santana apologised.
"No," Rachel shook her head. "Don't be sorry. None of this is your fault." Rachel didn't let her speak before answering her previous question. "I'm sad because it should be every child's god given right to have at least one loving parent or guardian, and to have a happy, secure childhood. I'm sad because no parent should be able to hurt their child as deeply as yours have hurt you. Mostly? I'm just sad because you are, Santana," Rachel admitted, her breath hitching uncontrollably toward the end. Santana opened her mouth as if to respond, then closed it again, tears welling in her eyes at the admission. She looked about to try and speak again when Leroy came in.
"Can we have a talk Santana?" he asked gently. Santana shot him a terrified look and didn't answer, snapping her eyes back to her hands, which were now wringing frantically in her lap. "You're not in trouble, it's ok," he soothed, noting with confusion that Santana was back to afraid of him. "Rach-," he started, suddenly realising his daughter was crying.
"I'm ok," Rachel leapt up off the couch and bolted out of the room, leaving her confused father to stare after her. Leroy looked at Santana and raised an eyebrow in question, frowning when Santana shrank away from him, pressing herself further into the couch cushions and making herself as small as possible, her hands wringing even more frantically than before, her eyes darting wildly around the room.
"Ohhh-kaaay," Leroy drew out the word, glancing after Rachel again before turning back to Santana. "Santana," Leroy sat down in the seat Rachel had just vacated. "Hey, hey," he cooed softly when Santana whimpered slightly. "Listen to me," he said in a firm, gentle voice. "You don't have to be afraid here. Hiram and I don't believe in name calling or yelling and we especially don't believe in hitting. Neither of us will ever lay a hand on you in anger. I want to promise you that here and now. I know that that probably means very little to you Santana. I'm sure your parents promised over and over that it wouldn't happen again and I bet it happened again every time, am I right?" Santana hadn't stopped cowering, but her wide eyes were locked on Leroy and she was absorbing his every word. She nodded slightly in answer to his question. "I thought as much," he shook his head angrily. "Santana I know it's going to take time to prove to you that we are telling the truth, but it's killing me to see you so afraid of me. Is there anything I can do to help you to trust me?" Leroy asked. "Anything?" Santana shook her head sadly. The only thing that would prove to Santana that he wouldn't call her names or hit her was if he didn't call her names or hit her and there wasn't really a way to speed up that process. She watched him warily for a moment, considering. Leroy hadn't gotten mad at her before when the glass had broken -he had hugged her and told her it was ok- and he was promising not to be cruel to her now.
Santana couldn't make sense of the thoughts in her head. On the one hand she desperately wanted a grownup to love her but on the other hand her parents had made it pretty clear that she was unlovable and she was sure that Hiram and Leroy would eventually figure that out and then they'd hate her too. Almost without her permission, Santana's hand crept out toward Leroy, the way it always seemed to do around Rachel, but instead of keeping still like Rachel, Leroy reached for her. He kept his movements smooth and not too fast as he cupped one big hand under her palm and stroked the back of her hand with the fingertips of the other. Santana scrunched her face up in confusion as she stared at their hands and then up at Leroy's face.
"Why are you nice to me?" she asked. The doorbell rang then and Santana didn't have time to figure out what the look that had briefly flittered across Leroy's features at her question had been. Leroy raised her hand and placed a gentle kiss on the back of it, smiling at her before going to answer the door. As soon as he was gone a blonde blur silently pounced over the back of the couch and landed on top of Santana with a heavy thud.
"Hello," Brittany's face was literally about three millimetres away from Santana's, her blue eyes were crossed as she tried to focus and Santana couldn't help but giggle. She cut off abruptly when she heard a familiar voice.
"Hi Leroy. I don't know if you remember me? I'm Cash Lopez. I'm Tana's brother."
-G-
"Hiram said I could come over this morning?"
"Cash," Santana breathed. She had shoved Brittany off of her unceremoniously and was scrambling to her feet as her brother came into the room with Leroy. "You didn't come back for me!" Santana burst into tears as soon as she saw him. It'd been a week and he hadn't even called since he had run away and left her. "You left me!" Cash reached for her but she pushed him away.
"Tana, please, I-," Cash pleaded, his voice choked.
"No! I thought you loved me! You said you loved me then you left me all alone!" Santana sobbed. Rachel had come back down the stairs along with Hiram now and they stood in the doorway, observing the scene. Normally Santana would have hated feeling like she was on display and in the back of her mind she could see that Cash was uncomfortably watching their audience but she was too upset to care.
"I didn't leave you alone!" Cash argued. "I left you with Brittany. There was no one else in the world I would have left you with. I knew she would look after you!"
"Why did you leave me? I needed you!" Santana was breathing hard, her heart pounding and her eyes wide.
"I didn't want you to see me cry," Cash said softly. "And then, then, I just, I was trying to find a way to take care of you. I tried so hard," Cash's voice was thick with emotion. "But I couldn't. Not that they were helping me out that much anyway but our parents cut me off. I make enough to support myself and make payments toward my student loans but I can't do that and support you too. And with my unpredictable hours I can't be there for you," Cash broke down then and Brittany gently pushed Santana toward him. Cash was in training to be an oncologist and had a couple more years to go. Their parents had insisted that he learn to take care of himself and so they had given him minimal financial support and so he had huge loans to pay off. He was struggling to make ends meet but he knew that once he had finished his training if he could secure a good job he would be ok, and he was almost there, almost there but not close enough to help his baby sister right now and it was killing him. "I couldn't find a way to take care of us both and I feel like a fucking failure Tana! I failed you!" Santana's shock at seeing her brother so upset had overtaken her anger and she threw herself at Cash, flinging her arms around his waist.
"It's ok, it's ok, it's ok," she chanted, her own voice cracking again as Cash's tears dropped into her hair. He held her a little while and then pulled back, needing to tell her everything before he chickened out.
"Come here," he sat down, pulling Santana into his lap. Leroy took Brittany gently by the hand and led her reluctantly out of the room.
"But I want to stay with her," Brittany protested on the way out.
"No honey," he said gently.
"But she's upset," Brittany pouted, her eyes welling.
"I know sweetheart," Leroy squeezed her hand. "But Santana and Cash need to have a talk. They need some time alone." He put an arm around Brittany's shoulders and gave her a squeeze as he handed her off to Rachel. "You girls should head upstairs and Hiram and I will come and get you soon ok?" he instructed.
"Ok," Rachel nodded, realising that something serious was going down. "Come on Britt, we can watch a Disney movie while we wait ok?" Brittany nodded, wiping her eyes on her sleeve as she followed Rachel upstairs.
Hiram and Leroy moved back to sit in the dining room, where they could hear the conversation taking place in the living room and wait until they were needed.
-G-
"What's going to happen?" Santana asked, after Brittany had been led away and she and Cash had had a few minutes to calm down. "If you can't take care of me?"
"Well," Cash took a big breath. "How would you feel about staying right here?"
"At Rachel's?" Santana asked.
"At Rachel's," Cash confirmed. "You'd be able to finish school at McKinley; you'd get to stay with your friends, with Brittany. I know it's not ideal. Living down the street from them, Tana, but…this just seems like the best option right now."
"I don't know Cash," Santana said softly.
"What are you worried about?" he asked.
"Rachel," Santana said quietly and Cash shook his head, amazed. "I bullied her. It feels wrong to take over her home. They should hate me." Cash nodded, understanding what she was saying.
"Hiram was worried about that too," he told her. Hiram and Leroy had taken that as their cue to come in.
"None of us hate you and we want you here, Santana. You know Rachel believes in second chances and so do we," Hiram said gently. Santana startled and pressed closer to Cash whose chest hitched at her reaction to the two men. "We've discussed some ground rules. We will allow some slip ups but if we think things are getting out of control or it's getting too hard for Rachel then we'd have to figure something else out," Hiram's voice was gentle, but firm. This was the time to be frank with Santana.
"You'd send me away?" Santana sounded so hurt that it broke all three men's hearts.
"Honey, we want to help you," Leroy told her. "But Rachel is our daughter. And she has to come first. But we would never leave you with nowhere to go. We would make sure you were safe and taken care of. We promise you both that ok?" Cash nodded, understanding where the men were coming from. He adored his sister but Hiram had filled him in on the way she had treated Rachel and he knew they had to put her first. He had a lot of respect for them for even taking Santana in in the first place after what she had apparently done.
"I'll try really, really hard, I promise," Santana said, her voice choked. "I don't want to get sent away again." Cash hugged her tighter to him and Leroy reached out to touch her hand.
"I know you will, honey. And we won't just send you away for nothing. We'll do everything we can to make this work," Hiram soothed her.
"Dad?" Rachel called out from the doorway.
"Rachel, we said we would call when we were ready for you," Hiram said, frustrated.
"I-I know," Rachel's voice shook. "She can't stop crying, she's really, really upset." Hiram caught sight of the quietly sobbing mess that was Brittany standing behind Rachel and sighed.
"Oh Brittany," he said gently as the blonde suddenly let out a loud choking sob then sucked in a shuddering breath. "Come on then," Hiram nodded his head toward Santana and Brittany practically ran over to the couch, squishing herself between Leroy and Cash and moulding herself to Santana's back, tucking her face against her neck. Santana lifted a hand to thread her fingers comfortingly into fine blonde hair. Cash managed to free his arm from between them to wrap it around her too. Almost as soon as she was wrapped around Santana, Brittany's crying quieted to the occasional sniffle.
"Are you going away with Cash Santana?" she asked after a few minutes, her voice was childlike, fearful and caught in her throat as she said her girlfriend's name.
"No baby. No I'm not," Santana seemed not to notice her slip and turned so that she was sitting half on Cash and half on Brittany, her face flashing briefly with amusement at the four people squashed on the couch. Brittany's face lit up at her words.
"You're staying?" she asked timidly.
"Yeah. For now," Santana said softly.
"Here?" Brittany asked, her smile getting bigger and bigger.
"Yes," Santana said, very hesitantly, looking at Leroy and then Hiram carefully, before glancing at Rachel who sat on the arm of Hiram's chair. Brittany followed her gaze and her smile faded as she felt the tension in the room.
"We'll work it out," she said with a soft smile, reaching up to smooth Santana's hair. She caught Santana's chin with her fingertips and turned her face so that she could kiss the tip of Santana's nose. Santana tensed hard at the gesture, eyes darting wildly around the room, and shifted away from Brittany who looked down at her hands in her lap, hurt.
"Ok," Leroy spoke up gently, breaking the tension in the room. "I'm going to go and make us all pancakes for breakfast because I think we could all use them. Rachel I could use a helper," he said pointedly. Rachel nodded and silently followed him out of the room with Hiram in tow, leaving Santana, Brittany and Cash alone in the living room. Hiram closed the door quietly behind him to give them their privacy.
-G-
"I'm so sorry it has to be this way Santana. I'm sorry I couldn't do better," Cash said softly, a few moments of silence after the Berry's had left the room.
"It's ok," Santana replied. She was trying desperately to be brave but her voice wobbled uncontrollably. She felt Brittany snuggle against her back again, despite her earlier hurt, and Santana pressed back into the blonde. "This all sucks Cash. Why couldn't I keep my mouth shut?" Santana's voice broke and she turned wide, tear filled eyes up to peer at her brother.
"I think it's better that you didn't," two sets of dark eyes turned to look at Brittany, who pressed her cheek against Santana's back, between her shoulder blades.
"It was only one more year. Then it would have been over. I would have been out of there. How is this better?" Santana sobbed angrily.
"Because now you have one more year where they can't hurt you," Brittany said softly, nuzzling further into Santana's back.
"You just don't get it Brittany. You have no idea," Santana's anger had drained as quickly as it had flared. It was only 11am and after everything that had happened that morning she was absolutely shattered.
"Maybe I don't," Brittany said softly, lifting her head from Santana's back. Santana had dropped her head against Cash's shoulder and so she missed the pointed look that her girlfriend and her brother exchanged over her head. The look that made it clear to each other that they both knew there was no way that Santana would have lasted another year in that house. Not the way things had been going.
"You have to promise me something Santana," Cash shrugged his shoulder, bumping Santana's head so that she lifted it up.
"What?" she asked tiredly.
"Promise me you'll make the best of this?" Cash pleaded. "I know it feels like your life has been ruined right now but it hasn't. You've been given a chance, Tana. A chance to get out from under and to make a new start. Promise me you'll take it? Promise me?" Santana stared at her brother for a few moments, turning that over in her head. Slowly she began to nod.
"Ok, I promise," she said softly.
"And you," Cash reached out to grasp Brittany's chin. "You promise me you'll take care of her. That you'll help her keep her promise and make a new start," he told her.
"I promise," Brittany beamed.
"I know you will," Cash smiled. He had no doubt in his mind that Brittany would go to the ends of the earth and back again for Santana and it made him feel a little better about what had to happen.
"When…" Santana trailed off. She cleared her throat and tried again. "When do you have to leave?"
"Tomorrow. Early," Cash replied looking away guiltily.
"Will you come and say goodbye?" Santana looked like someone had just punched her in the gut. Cash kind of felt like someone had done the same to him.
"Santana I'd have to be here at like 4am-," Cash started.
"I don't care! Please come and say goodbye to me! Please?" Santana pleaded, cupping Cash's cheeks to try to force him to look at her as tears spilled down her cheeks again.
"Ok, I'll come. I promise," Cash gave in, unable to break his sister's heart any more than it had already been broken.
-G-
In spite of the pretty much awful morning they ended up having a nice afternoon. They'd eaten their pancakes and then the Berry's had invited Santana, Cash and Brittany to play board games with them. They had started out with monopoly and ended up with scrabble where to Santana's delight Brittany had wiped the smug grin off Rachel's face by getting a triple word score on her first turn with the word 'phallic'.
"Of course you would manage to make that word," Rachel sulked.
"It means penis," Brittany deadpanned, causing several poorly concealed snorts of laughter to erupt from around the table.
"Actually it means-," Rachel started haughtily only to be stopped by Santana's hand over her mouth.
"Let it go. Trust me, you don't want to start that conversation," Santana took her hand away and looked at Rachel pointedly. Rachel looked at Santana for a moment before looking back at Brittany who still had her signature blank face on but whose eyes were sparkling with mischief. Rachel decided to let it go.
Hiram won the game, closely followed by Cash then Rachel (much to her disgust), then Santana, then Leroy and Brittany came in last but with a pretty respectable score thanks to Leroy's hint to stick to smaller words she knew instead of trying to keep up and impress them with big ones.
Cash had gone back to the friend's he was staying at after that to get some sleep before he had to catch his plane back, but not before reaffirming his promise to Santana that he would be back at 3.45am to say goodbye before he left for the airport. They all felt the dread as he left. They all knew that it was going to be awful, but none of them could have anticipated how awful…
-G-
"Santana, I have to go. Let go," Cash was nearly sobbing as he tried to pry Santana's arms and legs off from around his body.
"NO!" she screamed, her better mood from earlier completely decimated.
"Tana, please let go," Brittany was sobbing as she tried to help. She had gotten permission to stay another night given the circumstances but it didn't seem to be helping Santana at all. She had seemingly reverted to a clingy child, refusing to let her brother go. "Santana-OW!" Santana had thrown an arm back to bat at Brittany, hitting her hard across the chest and sending her sprawling backwards onto the kitchen floor.
"Ok," Leroy stepped forward then. He had hoped that Brittany and Cash would be able to handle the situation between them but clearly Santana was way beyond that now. Leroy looked at Hiram who nodded and stepped forward to help. Between them they managed to prise Santana off of Cash and Leroy managed to get a hold of her even though she was screeching and writhing in his arms. Cash took a few choked breaths and managed to calm himself a little before he turned away from his sister.
"You don't let her push you around like that," Cash told Brittany as Rachel helped her up off the floor. "You stand up for yourself. Make sure she knows that's not ok. That she can't take her shit out on you ok?" he reached out to thumb a few tears off of her cheeks and she tried to nod her head where it was held in his hands. "Good girl." He kissed her forehead and then let her go and turned to Rachel. "You too, ok?" he told her. She nodded solemnly and Cash kissed her forehead too. He turned to Hiram and Leroy who were standing side by side, both supporting a now limp, exhausted, and sobbing Santana and watching him. "I can't thank you two enough-," he began but both men shook their heads.
"It's the right thing. She's a good kid Cash. It's the least we can do to give her a chance," Hiram said gently. Santana seemed to abruptly find her second wind then, sensing the fast approaching goodbye and began to writhe and fight in Leroy's arms again, kicking out and trying to free her arms.
"NO! NO! CASH! NO! Don't leave me! No! No! No! Don't go! Don't go! Don't leave me here!" the words came out in a mixture of screaming and sobbing. Santana had managed to free her arms and was desperately grabbing at Cash, her reaching falling short. Cash lost it then and started sobbing too. Leroy managed to wrestle Santana's arms back to her sides and she pulled her knees up as she struggled against his grip in an attempt to force the man to drop her. Leroy was grunting with the strain of holding onto her. "Cash! Please Don't leave me! Please? Please? Please? I love you? Please?"
"Just make it quick Cash. It's for the best. We'll take care of her," Hiram told the distraught younger man gently, his own voice cracking as Santana's desperate pleas and I love yous faded to incoherent sobs. Cash walked over to where Santana was still flopping around like a fish out of water in Leroy's arms.
"I'm so sorry Tana. But I have to go," Cash smoothed her hair off of her sweaty forehead as she abruptly went limp and still. "I have to. I don't want to leave you. I want to take you with me but you know I can't. I'm going to call you when I get home and I'll call you every day after that," Cash had to stop as he choked back sobs. "I love you, Tana. But I have to go. I'm sorry," he kissed her forehead and then stepped back and Santana started to sob again.
"I love you too," she managed. "Don't go," she sobbed miserably.
"I have to," Cash sobbed back. "This hurts me as much as it hurts you Santana. You gotta know that." Cash wiped his eyes on his sleeve and turned to where Brittany was standing, taking her tearstained face in his hands again. "You take care of her for me," he told her.
"I promise," she sobbed. Cash nodded and let her go turning back to Santana.
"Bye Tana. I'll call as soon as I'm home," he choked out before he turned and walked out, Hiram following him in support. Santana's sobbing became out of control as her brother walked out and Rachel unconsciously pressed herself against Brittany's side even as Brittany did the same to her, the two of them trying to find some sort of comfort in each other while they had to watch Santana in so much distress. Leroy had managed to turn Santana around in his arms and was sort of cradling her against his chest, trying to comfort her as well as restrain her now. They heard Cash's car pull out of the driveway and a few minutes later Hiram walked back in, his eyes suspiciously red. He nodded at Leroy who nodded back.
"I'm going to let you go now Santana," he said softly to the still sobbing girl in his arms. He carefully loosened his grip on her, tightening it again when her knees almost gave out underneath her. He tried again and she wobbled precariously for a few moments, her sobs quieting a little as she focused on finding her balance, her chest still hitching forcefully. Once she had her balance Santana stood still for a few minutes, her head leaning against Leroy's chest. Everyone watched her, waiting for her to react, for her to do something. Just when it looked like she wasn't going to do anything; Santana ran.
"Santana?" Brittany called timidly after her.
At first it seemed as though she was going to run upstairs to her room but then they heard the front door open.
"Oh shit," Hiram cursed. "Is she going to try and chase after him?" he moved to grab for his car keys but Rachel stopped him, realising something.
"I don't think so," she said. "I think I know where she'll go."
-G-
Oh the angst….it'll pick up soon…thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed…