Hey guys! Sorry once again for the gap between chapters. I'm having a lot of problems writing this unfortunately. Anyway, thank you all SO SO much for the reviews from the last chapter. I loved them! As usual I apologize for any grammatical errors in this chapter. Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. Also, if you all have ideas for this story please tell me because I could use the help. Thanks!

Edward-

"Why the fuck would you take him to a goddamn party in the first place Alice?" I demanded, gripping the steering wheel with white knuckled hands. I was too angry to even look at the stupid bitch when I talked to her, too worried I would be tempted to stop driving and beat her ass or something. The angrier I got the faster I drove, my foot slamming down on the gas pedal and me too tense to loosen up on it. I was going about fifty over the speed limit already and still speeding up. I wasn't too worried about it though; the faster I drove the faster I got to Jasper.

"I'm sorry!" She sobbed, tears pouring down her face and running along the path made by hundreds of tears before them. She had been crying for at least the entire hour since she'd shown up at my door, tripping and panicked since she couldn't find Jasper. Apparently she hadn't seen him for over an hour. And that was before she came to me, which meant Jasper had been missing for over two hours. Over two hours in an environment where anything could happen. I thought my heart might literally explode I was so worried. Why the fuck did I have to be cursed? Everyone I cared about got hurt, fucking everyone!

"Sometimes people slip up!" She wailed, as if her stupid drug habit was an excuse. As if anything could be an excuse for putting Jasper in a situation like this.

"Slip up?! Slip up?! Fuck Alice! This isn't a slip up; this is a metric-fuck-ton of a fuck up! You took a recovering addict to a party where you knew there would be drugs! Because you wanted a hit?! What— you couldn't have left Jasper out of your own stupid decisions, your own weakness? You had to fuck him up too?" I roared, really and truly screaming at her now. She cried harder and out of the corner of my eye I saw her duck her head into her lap, cradling it in her hands so roughly I swear she must have been ripping out her own hair.

"I didn't mean to! We were just so excited! And… and I always went to these type of things when I was celebrating! I just… I just couldn't help it! I didn't think anything would happen to him I swear! There wasn't even his type of drug there, just some E, that's all! I swear! E isn't even that bad! Even if he did take it he would have been okay! I didn't think… where the fuck would he have gone?" She yelled, her tone high and thin and almost manic.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight and bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed to hold back my response. It was clear from her voice and her frantic hair pulling that Alice was about to completely lose her shit. She was nearly mad with grief, guilt, and worry and if I didn't lay off her she was liable to snap and jump out of the car or something. She was rolling after all and this was most definitely one bad trip. If I weren't so worried for Jasper I might even be concerned for her.

As it was I was furious and slightly vengeful. If I were being honest with myself I wouldn't give a shit if she jumped out of the car right now, I would probably even be happy about it. She deserved it. Still, I would be in deep shit later if she committed suicide using my vehicle and I didn't even stop afterward to see about her. So for the sake of my jail-free existence, I held my tongue and drove even faster. My GPS said that I was less than fifteen minutes away from Jasper, assuming he still had his phone on him. Who knew that the stupid built-in GPS would ever be anything other than creepy?

/

Jasper-

Looking back it's obvious that whatever drug Victoria slipped me to trick me into leaving the first party actually saved my life. Because they were in my system she figured I would be knocked out for quite a while when I passed out almost immediately after hearing her tell me James was coming. She thought I'd be out for a while, but she underestimated the tolerance I had built up over years of using various hard drugs. As it turned out I woke up a few minutes later (I think) to see her talking to someone in the doorway to what was probably a dining room with her back to me. I didn't wait to hear what they were saying, I used her distraction to crawl back the way I had come earlier, struggling to my feet as soon as I entered the living room I woke up in. A couple of people looked my way as I stumbled past them but no one stopped me and I managed to make it out into the backyard before my knees gave out and I fell hard, barely catching myself with my hands in time to stop myself from landing flat on my face. I closed my eyes for a few seconds—trying desperately to bring the world back into focus—but only succeeded in making my dizziness worse. For a second I thought about just not getting up. It would be easier, that was for sure. And it almost seemed like a good idea. A nap would be nice, right here on the soft grass. Someone grabbing my arm drug me from my thoughts forcefully and I screamed and thrashed before I even saw who it was. The person drew back and I looked up to see a very confused looking stranger hovering over me.

"Dude, what the fuck is wrong with you?" He asked, looking like he was debating between helping me and getting the fuck out of there. I shook my head and pushed myself to my feet, leaning against a nearby chair when the dizziness tried to take my legs out from under me again.

"Nothing." I lied, shaking my head until he shrugged and turned away. Then I booked it to the gate I could see on the far side of the grass. Victoria would notice I was gone soon if she hadn't already and the house wasn't that big. She would find me unless I hurried.

Thankfully it didn't take me long to reach my target and the lock was unlatched so partygoers could come and go as they pleased. I clung to the door for support as I stepped out through it into a poorly lit alleyway. For a second I hesitated. If there was a better place to get attacked and murdered I had certainly never seen it… my indecision was short lived. If I waited here then James would find me and he would definitely attack and murder me. I'd take my chances with anyone I found in the alley. The walk between the gate and the street felt like the longest walk of my life. I was fucked up beyond functioning and yet my sheer terror drove me to continue past what I was capable of. Its clear and biting edge sobered me up enough to make it to the street without passing out or falling. And then I was on the sidewalk next to the street alongside the side of the house, and the streetlights were blurring together into one huge light and my head was spinning and I had nothing left to hold onto. I swayed where I stood and would have fallen had the sudden appearance of headlights not startled me into freezing completely. For one terrible moment I thought I had walked out just in time to greet James, but then Edward's flaming red hair appeared from the drivers side of the car as he leapt out, focused on the front door of the house.

"Edward!" I gasped. Unfortunately the sound wasn't loud enough to catch Edward's attention. I tried to call him again, lurching towards him, but the sound was swallowed by a startling wail from within Edward's car. Before either of us could do anything more Alice was bounding out of it and straight to me, wrapping an arm around my waist before I could stop her or she could think about it. I saw Edward swing towards us and see us standing there—saw the relief on his face—and then my whole body tensed and my mind panicked as it registered someone touching me, grabbing me, restraining me. In my fucked up state the panic overwhelmed everything and I passed out once again.

/

The next day-

"Tell me again how you got out." He demanded for what had to be the third time at least.

"I passed out and Victoria got into a conversation with her back to me." I said calmly, rehashing exactly what I had told him before.

"She didn't think I'd wake back up so soon but I did. I knew… I knew that she wasn't kidding. That… that h-h-h-he was coming for me." I had to pause after that to gather myself and hold back the tears. Even now, safe and sound in the kitchen with Edward, I still felt the horrible freezing fear that had gripped me when I had first seen Victoria. To think that James was so close to finding me, that he almost had me back… I felt my breathing becoming shallow as my vision faded and I started to panic.

"Hey." Edward said gently, his soft voice in my ear bringing me back to the present and pulling me back from the brink of a panic attack. I'd been having them all night, a definite setback from where I had been just yesterday. I was so ashamed of myself that that thought alone almost snapped me back into the rush of panic; only Edward's continual crooning kept me grounded.

"You're okay Jasper, you aren't there, he can't hurt you." He soothed, his behavior one hundred percent transformed from his harsh demanding persona of ten seconds ago. I brought my eyes to his quickly to show him I was still here and nodded hesitantly, tentatively wrapping my arms around him and burying my face in his shoulder.

"I was scarred and I knew I couldn't fight her so I used her distraction to get away. I crawled back into the living room I had come out of and then walked out the backdoor." I paused and he encouraged me to keep going by rubbing soothing circles on my back while I caught my breath.

"I managed to get out the back and into the alley that lead to the street. The rest you know." I finished. Edward held me for a few silent minutes, smoothing my hair and running gentle hands along my back while he thought and I waited.

"She said he's missed you." He said finally, releasing me suddenly and stepping back onto his heel so that he was facing me. I nodded.

"Yeah."

"And she took you from the party." He murmured more to himself than to me. "Fuck!" He swore suddenly, beginning to pace back and forth in the kitchen with quick, evenly paced strides. "So they're looking for you."

"That's what it seems like." I agreed glumly.

"Fuck!" He swore again, his face contorting so violently that I took a half step back without meaning to. "It won't take them that long to find you here then. And what will we do then, with a whole bunch of murderous thugs out to get you?" I twisted my hands even tighter together, so tight I thought for a second I might pop one of my fingers out of place or something.

"I don't know." I mumbled. It was a useless answer from a useless person and I knew it. Guilt surged through me, so strongly I felt tears sting my eyes. I was more than good-for-nothing, I was dangerous. I should leave, and yet I was too much of a coward to do it. I ripped my hands apart and balled them into fists in one sudden rush of resolve. There were many things about myself I couldn't change, but I didn't have to be a coward.

"I could leave." I said shakily, quietly. Edward paused in his pacing, his head snapping towards me as he leveled me with a burning stare.

"What?" He managed to get out after a few seconds of utter speechlessness.

"I could go. Then you wouldn't be in danger." I said louder, in a stronger voice. Edward's expression went from angry and frustrated to… I don't know, almost hurt.

"Where? Do you not like living here? Am I a bad roommate?" He questioned, sounding honestly confused. I shook my head quickly, brining my hands up and using them to get my point across more firmly.

"No! Not at all! I love living here; I love being your roommate! I just… I don't want you to get hurt because of me." I explained. Edward's face cleared of all readable expressions for a minute and he just stood staring at me, hands by his sides and shoulders slumped in the middle of his floor. Then he started to slowly shake his head, his expression somber, almost sad. Before I could figure out how to react he took the decision away from me, closing the distance between us and wrapping me easily in his arms. He left his grip lose enough that I didn't feel the need to flinch or edge away.

"Jasper I don't think you understand what you mean to me." He whispered softly in my ear, cradling me to him gently and yet still firmly. "I would much rather have to deal with some fucking bullies like James and his lackeys than lose you. Even if you were right down the street. You're my best friend and… I think maybe I'm ready to… it's been a really long time since… " I hugged Edward to me closer, not understanding his sudden rush of emotion but gathering that what he was saying was hard for him, extremely so. He was shaking and stuttering, on the verge of something big I could tell. And so I held him firmly to me and tucked my head under his chin while he tried to think of the words that he needed.

"Since..." The silence stretched and his breath caught in his throat, the air in the room seemed to disappear. As if everything hung in the balance of his words. And then, he breathed out suddenly, all of the tension leaving him as he said in a frustrated, almost defeated voice:

"I can't… I just can't. I'm sorry Jasper, maybe soon. But right now I just… can't." He tried to pull away from me but I wouldn't let him, tightening my arms around his waist and nuzzling my face farther into him stubbornly. Clearly he hadn't been able to get out what he had wanted to and I didn't really know where he was trying to go with it but I didn't give a shit. He was Edward, and he wanted me. Me, of all people! Edward Cullen wanted me, as his roommate and as his friend. He cared about me and that meant more to me than he would ever know. I was not about to let the man go simply because he couldn't say whatever it is he wanted to right now.