asked by kyykhy on tumblr - MiyuSawa + 25/We Can Never Be Together Kiss (Part 1)*

Summary: What if Eijun had gone to Inashiro instead of Seidou? (Rival AU)

I should've gone to Inashiro, Kazuya thinks, not quite irate as a thrilling sense of excitement and anticipation is currently thrumming in his veins. He's standing in the batter's box, right across from the first year pitcher who replaced Mei at the beginning of this inning.

At first, Kazuya doesn't think much of him. For a first year, he seems exceedingly arrogant in addition to being very loud, evidenced by his incessant, enthusiastic encouragement from the dugout as he cheers on his teammates in a manner that manages to sound both flattering and insulting. The fact that he passes by Mei on the way to the mound with a near reverent expression on his face does nothing to make Kazuya like him any better.

And then the first year changes. As soon as he takes his place on the mound, he draws the wild energy he gives off around him like a cloak. It strains his muscles as he moves into position, shines out of his eyes, which are directed at Kazuya like burning, yellow-gold beam. He shivers but the grip on his bat only tightens, his smirk widens in anticipation. Then the first year suddenly smiles, a dangerous smile which would have sent anyone else running but all it does is pass a mutual message between them.

Bring it on.

The practice match is over in a blur and it's a close call – Inashiro wins by a single run. Kazuya can't even bring himself to be angry; he barely even feels a dull stab of disappointment and he's quickly distracted from it as he's unexpectedly tapped on the shoulder from behind. Stepping aside to let the rest of his teammates on the bus, he turns around only to come face to face with the fascinating first year pitcher.

He's alone, fidgeting in a way that seems much too insecure for what behaviours he displayed earlier. He's quiet, like he was on the mound, but much less intense. His face is tinged red and, when after a few more seconds he still refuses to meet Kazuya's eyes, he raises an eyebrow in surprised amusement.

"What is it?" he asks, shifting his weight from one foot to another, at the same time that the first year bursts out, "Sawamura Eijun!"

Kazuya blinks while the first year goes even redder and chews on his lower lip.

"Excuse me?"

"My name. It's – Sawamura Eijun.", he explains, a bit quieter than he introduced himself. Kazuya gapes for a second and then slowly smirks. What an interesting guy.

"Well, Sawamura Eijun.", he draws out the name slowly. He ignores how Sawamura seems to shiver and holds out a hand. "I'm Miyuki Kazuya."

His hand is taken and Kazuya is once again surprised; he expects an enthusiastic response but what he gets is a firm handshake, dry and warm and not at all rough like first impressions suggested. It's accompanied by a slow smile, like a rising sun and just as radiant.

"Pleased to meet you.", the sun boy says, and Miyuki can only nod dazedly, "Miyuki Kazuya."

Against the odds, Eijun manages to get Miyuki's number from Mei, though to be quite honest, it isn't that difficult. Mei seems to favour Eijun with his hero worship, something he quickly learned makes it easier to get along with the prince of Inashiro, as he has been dubbed. Aside from that, Mei really is a terrific player and deserves the ace title, Eijun has been forced to admit. Not that he'll ever stop trying to take it from him.

So Eijun agonises for an embarrassingly long time about what to message Miyuki once he has obtained the number, discarding all the usual ways of greeting someone via text and coming up with one outrageous idea after another (one involving a crate of flamingos and a flashy billboard) before circling back to the beginning at settling on a simple Hi, how are you? It's Sawamura Eijun. All that agonising counts for nothing anyhow, as somehow that message sets off a barrage of back and forth banter. Soon, they begin to meet in person, both equally intrigued by one another's playing style and perhaps something more, something neither is willing to admit, yet.

The meetings between Eijun and Miyuki are numerous while the practice matches between Seidou and Inashiro are not, but the increasing familiarity between the two becomes more obvious with every time the teams meet. It doesn't take long for Miyuki's team mates to catch on though it really is Mei and the three players surrounding him at all times that worry Eijun. They corner him on the day of the semi finals; they've just won their match, increasing their chances to go to Koushien, and Eijun is impatient to watch Seidou's match, due to start any minute.

"What?" he asks, not bothering to hide his annoyance at them ganging up on him. Mei is suspiciously missing but Eijun is too wound up to notice or care. The three exchange meaningful looks and then launch into an explanation of exactly 'what'. Eijun wishes he never would have asked and just left them there, because what they say is nothing he ever wanted to hear.

Stay away from Miyuki, they say. He's not just from a rival school but Mei's rival. It's either Mei or Miyuki, Inashiro or Seidou. It's winning or losing, and Inashiro, Mei, can never lose, especially against Miyuki, ever. They say more, things like how can Eijun be trusted when he has friendly relations, and there's a tone in there which Carlos uses that he doesn't like at all, with the enemy, because that's what Seidou, what Miyuki, really is and how can he still do his best as one of Inashiro's pitchers? How can he stay loyal to Inashiro when he's –

"What?" Eijun asks again, but strangely hoarse now when Shirakawa falls silent. Another look is exchanged and Carlos finishes the sentence.

How can he stay loyal to Inashiro when Eijun's in love with someone on another team?

Eijun sputters, wants to protest but his mouth feels dry, his throat tight and his eyes strangely hot. Even when he finally manages to utter a strangled denial, it convinces no one – not even himself. They leave him there after another silence which speaks as loudly as a verbal confession would have, except it left nothing hidden the way words tend to do.

Seidou wins and Kazuya is elated. He doesn't express it in loud cheers like his teammates but he does grin widely, taking off his helmet as his gaze distractedly, and without expressively meaning to, seeks out a specific face in the huge crowd surrounding them. Too concentrated during the game to let himself do it earlier, he manages to find a familiar pair of bright, warm gold eyes among the many people. He doesn't even know how but he doesn't question it; Sawamura draws him to him like a magnet, like a moth to a flame, and Kazuya's guard is lowered by the exhilaration the win brings. He doesn't fight it, doesn't even notice when he takes a step toward Sawamura instead of the team.

Somehow, they find themselves alone together, not in the dugout but nearby, close enough that Kazuya can still feel Kuramochi's curious gaze digging into his back but not close enough to hear, he hopes, because something in Sawamura's eyes is hard, not soft and happy like they had looked earlier from a distance. It suddenly becomes clear to him that Sawamura is about to tell him something, well, serious, for lack of better term, and Kazuya has covered his mouth with a hand before he knows what he's done. Sawamura's eyes are wide above his hand and somehow, the roars of the crowd still, as Kazuya becomes aware of the soft, warm skin beneath his palm. He swallows, throat dry and he still doesn't know why.

"Don't say it.", he tells Sawamura, almost begging and wonders what exactly he's asking for. That gaze, warm like sunlight, suddenly blazes, and Kazuya's hand is taken off of Sawamura's mouth in a surprisingly gentle manner. Sawamura's hand feels as dry and warm as he remembers, hard from callouses bearing witness to hard work. Kazuya has no time to marvel at it though, no time to process that Sawamura is still holding his hand, even caressing it a bit like a precious commodity he'll never again have the luxury to experience.

"I'm sorry." Sawamura says, a sincere apology tinged with a heavy sadness Kazuya can feel settling in the depths of his stomach. It makes his heart sink as a realisation starts to stir in the back of his mind; he pushes it away like he has for months now, too afraid to acknowledge it. He tries to muster up a smirk instead, summoning a mask that's beginning to feel too brittle.

"For what?"

Sawamura's eyes soften and instead of replying, Kazuya feels warm, soft lips press against his in a chaste kiss. Warm and soft, like a lot about Sawamura, he thinks a bit incoherently, as he attempts to make sense of what's happening. Then his eyes fall shut and he can't think anymore, even as Sawamura pulls away after what barely feels like a second. Kazuya manages to open his eyes again with some difficulty, heavy-lidded and a little bit lightheaded. His stomach does a weird flip and his brain spits out an Oh.

"For that, I think." Sawamura breathes, still close enough that Kazuya can feel the words vibrate on his skin, hot. Kazuya shivers and raises his eyes to meet Sawamura's, interlocking. Almost on automatic, he leans in, but this time he is the one who is stopped with a hand against his lips. It's strangely cold and he shivers again. It's not a good shiver.

"What is it?" he means to ask but his question only comes out as suppressed garble. Still, he gets his reply when Sawamura slowly shakes his head with his eyes still focused on Kazuya's. It's intense, but a different kind of intensity than it is when they're on the field.

"I – this – I can't!", he explains in a rush, a tone asking for understanding though Kazuya is unsure for what.

"Huh?" he makes a confused sound and Sawamura finally breaks eye contact for a moment. Kazuya's dazed mind sharpens and his fumbled explanation is beginning to make a little more sense. The heavy feeling in his stomach turns into something decidedly unpleasant, roiling. "What, why?"

Sawamura stares at him for a bit. If it was anyone else, Kazuya would say they're speechless, except that this is Sawamura. Sawamura can't be speechless. Except –

Except he is. His mouth opens and closes in an almost comical manner but Kazuya doesn't feel like laughing.

"Because you're from Seidou and I'm from Inashiro.", Sawamura finally says, "Because we're rivals."

There seems to be a bitterness attached to the last word, curiously emphasised. It sinks in along with all the why's behind everything Kazuya has felt toward and realised about Sawamura, sinks along with his heart until heaviness saturates his body. Somehow, the feeling of lightheaded victory has completely dissipated.

While Kazuya is still making sense of everything, Sawamura gently lets go of his hand and steps back. He turns to leave and Kazuya finally moves, latching on to his sleeve like a child scared of being left alone.

"What if I don't care?" he asks, voice stronger than he feels even though he doesn't even know what he's saying anymore. What doesn't he care about?

Petty rivalries, his mind supplies. All those why's are being answered and Kazuya can no longer hide. But to his shock, Sawamura doesn't look surprised at all, or if he does, it's hidden behind the sad smile his face should never, ever wear.

"We can't be together," he gently tells Kazuya, prying away his fingers from his sleeve. He holds his hand for just a little longer than prudent, giving it a small squeeze, before releasing it, "because I do."

Oh.

That hurts, more than it probably should. Kazuya wants to name this feeling, wants to know what exactly it is that makes his heart squeeze painfully at the admission. But maybe he can say something, change Sawamura's mind – it's too early to give up and too late for him to realise what he wants.

"Ever?", he tries, hoping to get a smile and a laugh, something that would give him reason to nurture the hope he doesn't want to crush. But Sawamura doesn't give him any of those things, instead dispelling the fragility of that feeling with a single headshake.

"Never."

It sounds melodramatic to Kazuya but he still can't stop Sawamura when he finally does leave, still can't move, can't do anything but watch him go.

Never isn't something he realised barred him from what he wants. He didn't even know that he wanted, only knew the confused, annoying sensations like fluttering in his stomach when he saw his phone light up with Sawamura's name or his smile or heard his laugh or even saw his face. It was nothing but an inconvenience, one that he was wise to ignore…until Kazuya can't anymore.

And now there's nothing he can do, since it's too late. He watches the last glimpse of Sawamura disappear and all he can numbly think, is Never is a long time.

*Part 2 (and maybe more) is in the works due to a heavily requested happy ending