Chapter Ten

A/N: No reviewers.

It was an hour or so later before Sue began to come round from the anaesthetic, though the time seemed to pass in the blink of an eye for Simon. He had spent a good half hour on the phone after he had heard the news, making sure that everyone was aware of the situation, after which he had dashed to find Vix and her father, who had each been nursing a cup of coffee in the cafeteria, informing them that they would all finally be able to go home. It had been nearly 48 hours since Sue had arrived in the hospital and none of them had had any sleep the previous night. At least they would be able to rest now, knowing that she was well on the road to recovery.

Simon would not allow himself that same luxury, spending every waking moment beside his fiancée, the guilt of the fire once again weighing heavy on his conscience. He had not spoken with Sue since the accident, for she had not been awake since, and he did not know how much she remembered of it. If she remembered nothing, at least she would not be forced to suffer again, reliving the memories over and over. She might not remember his part in this; Simon truly did not know whether that would be better or not, to lie to this trusting woman to avoid seeing the pain in her eyes when she realised he betrayed her.

The heavy sighs replacing Sue's shallow breathing alerted Simon to her consciousness, his head snapping from the spot he had stared at on the wall to her slowly blinking eyes with such force that his neck began to throb with pain. He scarcely noticed the feeling, for his happiness to see Sue awake overcame everything else.

"Sue?" he questioned quietly, a small part of him afraid that he was seeing things, that his tiredness had created a wonderful image in his mind. "Sue, sweetheart, it's me. It's Simon."

"Simon." she responded, her voice barely audible and hoarse from disuse; Simon tried not to think that overuse, screaming for help when no one could hear, would also have played its part. "Where am I?"

"You're in hospital. You have been for a couple of days. Ever since…" Simon stopped, unable to continue his explanation any longer. 'How much does she know? Does she realise what's happened to her? Does she remember anything about the fire at all?'

"Since the fire." The words were enough of a shock to Simon that he flinched. It was almost like a physical blow, to hear those words pass her lips. If she remembered the fire, it was almost certain she remembered his role in it, and that thought alone was almost enough to make him despair.

"Do you remember what happened?" The question needed to be asked, and however little Simon wanted to be the one to ask it, he knew it would be easier for Sue if it was him. "Do you remember how it all started?"

"I went to the cupboard. I just needed a moment to myself, the kids were such a nightmare." She sounded so defensive of her actions; that made it all hurt so much more. "I don't know how but I got locked in. I didn't realise until I heard the fire alarm. I tried the door but it wouldn't budge. And then I saw the smoke and…"

The redhead trailed off, tears already tracing paths down her pale cheeks. Simon closed his eyes, turning his head slightly to the side. He never could bear to see his fiancée cry, let alone to be the cause of her tears.

"I tried calling out for help, but no one came." Her voice was so quiet when she continued that Simon was almost not sure she had spoken at all. "I just kept calling and calling and then… I don't remember anything after that."

Simon's nod of acknowledgement, his reassurance that everything she had said was true, seemed like a disguise, designed to hide his true realisation. He had somehow not realised it before, hadn't thought of the consequences of being the first one Sue would speak to when she woke. 'She thinks it's all over and done with. She doesn't know that she's not going to be alright. She doesn't know about the scars.'

Simon felt a sickening turn of his stomach as he realised he would have to be the one to tell her.

"Simon?" Sue questioned, her small voice making the sickness even stronger. She was silently appealing for him to tell her, he knew- she must have seen the reaction he was having to her story and assumed the question would be too painful- but her fiancé could not bring himself to speak the words.

"Sorry, sweetheart, it's been a long few days." Simon tried to wave off his upset, although he quickly realised his choice of words was not the best. Sue's face now bore a pained expression and he expected an attempt at comfort or perhaps even an apology as she opened her mouth to speak.

"How bad is it?" she asked and Simon all but jumped. "You're trying to keep something from me, so it must be bad. How bad?"

The man paused for a few moments, breathing deeply in and out to try and calm his emotions- at this rate he would not be able to get the words out. "It's your back, Sue."

"I thought it would be." she reasoned, still seeming so unfazed by the situation. Simon could not understand how she could be so calm about this. "I got… burnt, didn't I? Is it going to be very expensive to fix? Or is it just going to take a long time? Are we going to have to put off the wedding?"

And now he knew. Sue had no idea of the colossal impact her injuries would have on her future. He should have realised no one who knew could ever have taken such news so well. So it turned out he would have to tell her after all.

"Sue…" Simon began, but trailed off, feeling the tremor overcoming his voice. He took a moment to compose himself. He had to do this, he could not allow Sue to build up false hopes any longer. "Sue, it's not that simple, sweetheart. It's not going to take a long time to heal… because it's not going to. The scars on your back… they're permanent."

Sue's mouth slowly dropped open, the blinking of her eyes decreasing to only a couple of times per minute. It was as if he was seeing his fiancée react in slow motion. Then the floodgates broke and Sue began to cry.

Simon rushed towards the bed, sitting beside her and cradling her head in his lap. He had wanted to hold her closer, but her injured back had created a barrier between them, a potential pain that Simon did not want to aggravate the situation further. Instead he stroked her red curls away from her face, murmuring apologies and empty reassurances in her ear.

They stayed that way until the doctor came to check on her, suggesting that Simon return home to get some rest. For the first time since Sue was admitted, the man agreed, driving home to the flat she shared with him every so often. He lay there awake long into the night, thinking of his fiancee, trapped and brokenhearted in a hospital bed. 'How can we move forward from this?' Simon asked himself, time and time again. The only issue was, he could not think of a way.

Unbidden, the thought came to the front of his mind. 'Maybe that's because there isn't one.'

A/N: Depressing, I know, I'm sorry. But this could never have been plain sailing! Please review!