Notes: This chapter contains sexual content.

The Lines We Cross - Chapter Ten

Sirius felt his scarf pulled roughly aside as the other boy placed soft kisses against the sensitive skin of his neck. He was a little pissed because the scarf had been his gift from Remus and he was rather fond of it, but he felt hot breath and an affectionate nip at his ear and promptly forgot his irritation.

His body grew warm despite the freezing temperature outside. He and Garrett were hidden beneath the Ravenclaw stands at the Quidditch pitch, cold hands seeking warm bodies beneath their clothes, while the whole of Hogwarts cheered above them.

"Merlin, I missed you," Garrett murmured into his neck. Sirius gave a vague "hmmm" and rolled his hips against the other boy, earning a low groan for his efforts. They were two weeks back from Christmas break and had not had time for more than a quick snog in a boom cupboard since they'd returned. Sirius felt professors were trying to kill them with course work.

"They're not called Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Exams for nothing," Flitwick had clucked as he bombarded them with homework.

Sirius felt a cold hand brush against his naked cock and gave a little yelp of surprise. Garrett chuckled in his ear. "Sorry," he laughed as he began working his hand slowly up and down. It soon turned warm between the friction of his movements and heat of Sirius's body. "You look good like this." He thrust gently into Garrett's hand wondering what had gotten into the other boy. Garrett never spoke this much when they were getting off except for the occasional "fuck and faster and harder" or some variation in between.

Warmth pooled in his belly as his orgasm approached. Garrett worked his cock slowly, thrusting gently against Sirius's hip and placing warm kisses on his neck and ear. So close…

"Fuck, Sirius, I want to be inside you so bad."

His orgasm ripped through him at Garrett's words. What the fuck? The other boy pumped a few more times and removed his hand from the sensitive flesh, casting a quick cleaning charm.

"Did I hear you right?" he finally asked when his breathing returned to normal and his head stopped spinning.

"Sure did," Garrett replied as he placed both hands on the swell of Sirius's arse and thrust more insistently into his hip. Sirius took the hint and fumbled with the clasp on Garrett's trousers as he thrust his hand into the other boy's pants to return the favor. Garrett groaned low and touched his forehead against Sirius's.

This close, Sirius noticed the interesting contrast between the pale yellow of Garrett's eyelashes and his tan skin. The stands above erupted in cheers. "50-30 Ravenclaw!" came the voice of the announcer. Sirius heard Garrett's breathing hitch, he was close. "I do…oh, Sirius, I want to fuck you, ah—" Garrett came with a shudder, moving to rest his chin over Sirius's shoulder. "What do you think?" he asked after a moment as Sirius cleaned his hand, still leaning on him for support.

What did he think? The memory of his talk with Remus, ages ago came to mind.

"Please think before you go any further with him… you'll end up hurting him and hating yourself if you go bed with him and you don't care about him like he does you…promise me."

Did he care about Garrett? They weren't the average couple. Certainly not like James and Lily, who'd recently got together after Christmas hols. James and Lily made eyes at each other across the room, and held hands as they walked to and from classes. They were smitten, Peter had said, which earned him a solid three hours of teasing. Sirius knew he wasn't smitten with Garrett. Did that mean he didn't care?

Their initial arrangement had never been more than no-strings attached romping until recently. Sirius had taken a gamble and told the boy he had a nice arse and if he would like to make out. The rest was history.

"Sirius?"

Garrett pulled him back to the present; he was chewing on his lip anxiously. His long silence must have caused some concern.

"I dunno, I never really thought about it," which was perfectly true. He didn't dwell on where their relationship was going much, completely oblivious to the red flag that went up at that realization.

"So…do you want to?"

"Maybe," said Sirius slowly. "I'd have to think about it."

"What's to think about? You like me don't you?"

"Of course I do…"

Don't I?

"It's just…I dunno it's a big step isn't it? And anyway where would we do it?" he asked landing on a good excuse. "Do you really want your first time to be under the freezing cold Quidditch stands or bent over a desk in the Charms classroom?"

"That's a fair point," Garrett said, his lips pursed in contemplation. "Well, we'll figure it out…"

Just then the stands erupted loudly and the announcer shouted, "Martin's caught the snitch! 180-50, Hufflepuff wins!"

"Better go," Garrett said and placed a long, lingering kiss on Sirius's lips. "See you later?"

Sirius nodded and watched Garrett head out towards the crowd of students leaving the game. He lit a cigarette and thought for several long minutes until the cold drove him back inside.

oOo

Contrary to popular belief, Sirius Black was a virgin. How he earned his reputation as the Stud of Gryffindor he would never know. He'd dabbled with the passing girl here or there, sure, but never went beyond frustrating, unsatisfying snogging in dark corners of the castle and he gave up on girls completely after fifth year. James clapped him on the back and teased him for week the first time the rumor mill churned out that Sirius and Melissa White had "made it" in the Transfiguration classroom late one night.

"Black and White!" people teased and Sirius just winked and pretended it didn't bother him. Sirius had been too embarrassed to confront the girl about it and thought, if she had been the one to start the rumor, she'd got what she deserved in the end anyway. Sirius was labeled a stud and Melissa had gotten a far less glamorous title. Double standards were so unfair he, thought cheerfully as she burned with embarrassment every time he passed her in the hall.

Sirius realized he'd been rather naïve to think that Garrett would drop the subject after he brought it up the first time. He never thought he'd miss the shy, insecure boy from a few months ago more. Sirius was always pushing Garrett into doing more, taking the next step, but he realized now how insensitive he'd been. They argued about it almost constantly now.

"I really want to Sirius."

"I know, you've told me already. Can we please just drop it for now?"

"Would you feel better if you went first?"

"That's not it, Garrett!" (Though that seemed far less terrifying).

"Then what's the problem?"

"I don't know!"

Garrett usually stormed off after that and when he didn't, Sirius did. He kept replaying Remus's words of caution in his head. Sex, real sex, was always something he knew he would do eventually, he just never considered when or with who but he knew something didn't feel right about doing it with Garrett.

"He really likes you Sirius. I don't think you see how much. Just, don't do anything more if you don't feel the same way."

He'd written to Alphard the day after Garrett first brought it up for advice but he'd yet to hear back and it had been more than a week. Alphard was usually quick in his responses but Sirius had gone this long without a reply before. Leave it to Alphard to get caught up with work when I need him most, he thought childishly.

He already knew Remus's thoughts on the matter. He entertained the idea of paying his professor a visit and asking for advice but decided against it. Remus would definitely tell him not to and problem was, he really, really wanted to. He wanted to feel himself buried in another person and, while it made him a little nervous, it excited him a lot more to think of having someone else inside him.

There was only one other person in the world whose opinion he trusted but he hesitated to bring it up with him. It would mean admitting a lot more than he was ready to. But after his third row with Garrett about it, he decided he'd try.

oOo

"Pssst! James…Jamie wake up," Sirius whispered later that night as he prodded at the sleeping form of James Potter. The sheets were pulled above his head and black hair was poking just out of the edge.

"Nnngff," was all James said.

"I'm coming in," Sirius warned and proceeded to crawl into bed with his friend.

"Bloody hell, Sirius, your feet are freezing!" James yelped, suddenly wide awake. Sirius placed his feet deliberately on an exposed ankle and James kicked hard at Sirius's legs.

"Ouch! That hurt you bastard!"

"What do you want?" James asked grumpily.

"Keep it down, you'll wake Peter. I just wanted to ask you a question."

"Can't it wait til morning?"

Sirius thought it probably could but he was laying awake thinking about it and couldn't fall asleep. Sirius snuggled under the covers, lying on his side to allow more room, James did the same. There was a time when both boys fit in the same bed comfortably, whispering secrets they were too afraid to say in the bright light of day. At seventeen their knees knocked awkwardly and they were far closer than two, supposedly straight, teenage boys should probably be comfortable with.

"You really like Evans right?"

"No, I just asked her out regularly for the last, I dunno, three years because I'm a glutton for punishment."

"Still are mate." James kicked him again.

"Fucker." They laughed.

"What is this about?" James asked, rather soberly.

"How did you know she was… you know the one."

"Dunno… I just did."

Sirius waited, hoping he would elaborate and was thankful when he did.

"Kept noticing things about her…the way she laughed when I did something stupid…how clever she was...is. The way she always smelled nice…I just knew. Why? Do you fancy someone?"

"Dunno…I might." He thought of the things James noticed about Lily. Did he notice those things about Garrett? He was frustrated that he was coming up with nothing.

"Well is there someone you…notice those kinds of things about?"

Yes, was the emphatic answer from his heart. He noticed golden brown hair falling into chocolate colored eyes and a shy, sensual smile that he wanted to kiss over and over again.

"Fuck…" he muttered and James laughed.

"Hop to it then! Now go away so I can sleep. Bloody girl…" he said pulling the sheets back over his head.

oOo

The next day Sirius broke things off with Garrett Kelley. He'd been grateful Garrett had not cried or thrown a tantrum. He supposed he really didn't know the boy if he expected hysterics. Garrett had just nodded and said "Okay" and left without a backward glance. He wanted badly to feel the same way that Garrett felt about him, but he knew he didn't, and the guilt over dumping him now was nothing to what it would have been if he'd actually slept with him and ended things later. Remus had been right.

His feet led themselves down the familiar path to his professor's office. Alphard had yet to write back and there was only one other person he could talk to about his break up. He approached the door and was about to knock when he heard raised voices from within.

"Damn it, Remus, these are your people after all!" said a man's voice Sirius didn't recognize.

"They're not my people," he heard Remus say in a much harsher voice than he'd ever heard the man use. What was going on?

"Don't be so sensitive Remus you know what I meant! You have better insight into their world than anyone else in the Order."

"Dumbledore has me here for now, you know that. Does he even know you're in my office talking to me about this?"

"Of course he does! And even if he didn't I have a right as an Auror to check up on people like you. You've failed to check in with the Ministry the last fourteen months."

"I'm no longer required to, you know that. I've never had an incident." Sirius had never heard Remus sound more furious.

"I know it. But it's suspicious isn't it? Lucky it's me making the call, wouldn't you say?"

"Is that a threat, Alastor?" Remus said with quite anger.

"I'm not threatening you, Remus, you know that. I'm just saying we're doing you a favor, and your expertise in this area would be helpful."

Suddenly the door was wrenched open and a wand was pointed inches between Sirius's eyes. The man pointing the wand had a scarred face and one abnormally large eye that swiveled as he glared at Sirius. Sirius slowly inched his hand toward the wand in his pocket.

"Not a good idea, laddie," the man said and his hand froze.

"Sirius? Alastor, kindly lower your wand. He's a student," Remus said, his head looking over the man's shoulder.

"You sure about that? Sirius did you say? Not Sirius Black?" the man asked his wand still trained on Sirius.

"You've heard of me?" Sirius asked, never looking away from the man's eyes.

"I get a list of names of all seventh years who express interest in joining the Aurors."

Remus, with some difficulty, managed to squeeze past the man, Alastor, and insinuate himself between the two.

"I will not ask you again Alastor, lower your wand." He did but his good eye never left Sirius. The other spun around the room giving it a quick sweep. "Thank you. Sirius, this is Alastor Moody, he's a senior member of the Auror department."

"You're Mad-Eye Moody?" Sirius asked suddenly excited. He and James had heard stories from Frank about Mad-Eye. Remus covered a laugh with a cough.

"Hmpf, and who in the Auror department let that name slip to the general public?"

"Oh come now, they call you Mad-Eye in the Prophet," Remus argued. "I'll take a look at the names you've left Alastor, but Sirius and I have an appointment."

Moody grumbled but stepped out of the office. "Send me a message as soon as you have more information."

"Yes, yes, of course. Have a good evening," Remus said as he stepped back into his office and began gathering papers and placing them in a drawer.

"Goodnight, Remus," he called as he stomped off. "And keep an eye on that boy; he's a Black after all."

"Constant vigilance!" Remus called but rolled his eyes at Sirius and gestured him in. Sirius closed the door but did not sit. "Moody can be a little imposing but he's a good man. Sorry if he gave you a start."

"What was he doing here?"

"Hmmm? Oh just had some questions, thought I could be of help."

"He said he had the right to check up on you…what did he mean?" Sirius thought he saw Remus's back stiffen at the question but he sat calmly and gestured Sirius to do the same.

"I trust I can tell you something without you repeating it to anyone?" he asked, and Sirius nodded. "It's not really a secret but, I'd rather the students didn't know and write home to their parents about it… I'm part of group of wizards and witches Dumbledore has gathered to oppose Voldemort. So is Moody. I'm sort of on assignment here, and Moody thinks he can come in and drop more work in my lap."

"So you're part of this Order? Is that what he called it?"

"Yes."

"Brilliant! Can I join?"

Remus laughed. "You're not even done with school. Focus on that first."

"You're no fun."

"I'm your professor, my job is to make your life miserable, remember? So, what were you up to tonight? Other than eavesdropping on private conversations, of course."

Oh yeah. The argument and appearance of Mad-Eye had temporarily driven his break up with Garrett out of his mind.

"I ended things with Garrett."

"Oh, I'm sorry, Sirius. What happened?"

Sirius shrugged and heaved a little sigh. "He wanted more and I didn't. Well, I mean, I did," he admitted and Remus quirked a brow. "I'm seventeen," he reminded the other man which earned him a laugh. "But…I remembered what you said and I knew it would be a mistake."

"Glad to hear some of my good sense has rubbed off on you."

"You never did tell me how you came to be so wise, Professor. Learned from personal experience did you?"

"Don't ask me to revisit the ghosts of boyfriend's past," Remus joked.

"Maybe you'd like to tell me what you meant when you told Moody you'd never had an 'incident' before then?" He winced at the look of suspicion and anger on the man's face. Idiot.

"How much did you hear?" Remus asked, his teasing tone gone.

"I just caught the tail end there," Sirius admitted. Remus nodded and the look of anger left his face to be replaced with laughing smile, but Sirius thought it looked rather forced.

"So I met this guy at a bar I used to work at…"

oOo

"When I came home that night he'd torched everything, Sirius. All my clothes, books, it was a nightmare! I was furious."

"You kind of deserved it," Sirius laughed. "Remus Lupin, breaker of young hearts, who knew?"

"I never meant to hurt him. For a while I was sort of glad I did though."

"Remus!"

"He destroyed my things!" Remus argued. "Some of which were irreplaceable! After I cooled down though I realized what a cad I'd been."

"Everyone does stupid things when they're young. I do almost every day. And you learned from it and passed that hard earned knowledge onto me so you see what good came of it?"

"I live to serve," he said dryly.

"Do you think he'll be okay? Garrett I mean?" Sirius asked after a while. Remus tapped his lips thoughtfully.

"He will, it will just take time."

"Speaking from experience again?"

"That's just what they say, isn't it? Time heals all wounds?"

"So you've never had your head kicked in by love? Never wanted someone who didn't want you back?" he asked, just a touch angry. Didn't Remus see?

"Of course I have, but you get over it," he said not meeting Sirius's eyes. There was an awkward silence and Sirius was sorry he brought it up. "It's getting late, you should probably head back," Remus said at last.

Sirius took the dismissal for what it was and rose to leave. "Goodnight, Professor."

"Sirius…" He turned to look back at Remus, his hand on the doorknob. The man looked anxious, as if he were choosing his next words carefully. "I must ask you not to dwell on anything you heard earlier." It wasn't what Sirius expected the other man to say. Remus continued, "This is important, Sirius. I'm asking, as your friend, to forget what you heard. Please."

The plea in Remus's voice was enough to give Sirius pause. He wondered just how many secrets Remus Lupin had.

"Forgotten," he said lightly. "But Remus… you can trust me. You know that right?"

"I know, Sirius."

"Do you?" he asked and didn't wait for a response as he left the room.