Please let me know what you think. I've always felt (there's poem that said this) that until it's been read, a story is just ink on a page – so I'd like to hear from you.
CHAPTER 10: THE HIDDEN CASTLE
It's appropriate that fairy tales are about magic, because they practice a sleight of hand all their own. Take that spoiled brat of a princess in 'East of the Sun, West of the Moon.' She promised a frog a kiss for saving her father's life by retrieving his medicine, or (more selfishly) for finding her golden ball, when either tonic or toy fell into a well. Whatever the version, her pledged word meant nothing to her. For who would expect a princess to keep a promise made to a frog?
Instead, when the poor amphibian hopped into her castle, innocently certain that even royalty must prove true to their vows, she hurled him to splatter against her bedroom wall. She felt no remorse (or none worth mentioning) until she saw the lifeless form of a beautiful young prince lying at her feet. By breaking the body of the frog, she had restored the youth to his true shape – only to deliver him to the goblins who had put the hex on him in the first place, and now carted him off to eternal servitude in their castle (you guessed it) east of the sun and west of the moon. And so the forsworn princess trudged off to find the hidden castle, fulfill her vow, deliver her kiss, and finally claim her (somewhat undeserved) happy ending.
The moral is clear – and it's even one that Seto Kaiba would applaud: promises are meant to be kept whatever the cost – and dire consequences rightfully await the forsworn.
But is that truly the story the author is telling? For mixed in with that stern message is another, more comforting one. If fallibility, and even faithlessness, are woven into our nature, we have the saving grace of being able to learn from our mistakes. We can strive, as the princess did, to atone for our actions and their consequences – and if we are lucky, succeed in making amends. If the seeds of destruction are in our hands, so too is the ability to heal.
For all the harshness of the moral, the story is about second chances.
KAIBA'S NARRATIVEI was back at the palace the next morning. I had a job to finish. I looked at the map, just to double check my conclusions one last time.
"There are three possibilities," I announced.
"I would not have believed it," Mahaado said, looking at the map. "You have done something that all of our magic… all of our faith, could not."
He probably thought that was a handsome admission.
"The calculations weren't that difficult," I answered. "You probably could have done them yourself, if you weren't so close-minded."
To my surprise, he didn't argue the point. "Perhaps. I certainly would never have thought that mere numbers could be used this way."
'The zero is truly an amazing creation. It encompasses everything from the void from which all life came, to the infinity of the gods who exist unseen around us.'
There was that voice again. I was getting to like it (when it wasn't calling me a coward.) This time, what it was saying was good enough to repeat. So I did, and smirked when Mahaado's eyes widened at my words.
"Eloquently expressed," he commented.
Since I wasn't about to tell him I was hearing voices, I turned back to the map. "Well, if you're done talking about irrelevancies, let's get back to the problem at hand. There are still three possibilities. I think we can discount the one closest to us. If it was truly a base, even you would have stumbled across it before. That leaves two choices that are equally likely. We need to find out if one is the true base of operations and the other an outpost, or if Set has split his forces."
I saw no need to mention the fact that the farthest site was directly to the southeast. I wasn't going to dignify Yugi's lucky guess by calling it a prediction – or admit that his ridiculous hunch might very well prove on target.
"The dragons could fly reconnaissance on your sites," Kisara offered. She usually waited outside, but she had known something was up, and had squeezed her bulk into Yami's audience hall. It was even bigger than it looked. And it wasn't like anyone was going to ask her to leave. She was even bigger than she looked, too.
Mahaado shook his head at her statement. "You could fly over the closest site. But the moment you appeared deeper into his territory, Set's general would be aware of your presence. It would tip our hand unnecessarily."
"Set's general?" I said. I was kind of disgruntled at not getting a crack at the big guy himself, god or not.
Mahaado stared at me. "Didn't you pay attention to Exodia's words? Set is no more here than Isis or Osiris or Horus. This is not the realm of the gods. It is their battlefield."
"Or their chessboard," I muttered.
"That's another reason why Exodia needed us four, isn't it? Because you're all familiar to Set's forces. I bet his spellcasters can track you, but not us," Yugi said. I wasn't surprised that he had gotten the point so quickly. I was getting used to the fact that he wasn't as dumb as he looked – or as weak.
Mahaado nodded. "You are correct. We are as familiar to Set's forces as his own general. We are all tied to this place, and his forces can sense and track that binding. They will feel our presence from the moment we leave our own domain. You are unfamiliar; even the pharaoh has not fully embraced his realm. One or two of you may be able to travel undetected."
"One or two?" I asked sharply.
"They were able to track the three of you once they picked up the Holy Elf's scent. Possibly the size of your party was enough of a disruption in and of itself. Yet the pharaoh arrived at the door unassailed. There is no safety in numbers."
I grunted. At least he was being logical for once.
"There is safety in friendship. Two need to go, so that they can help each other along the way, and make sure the information gets back," Yami said.
"So the only thing to decide is who's going with me," I said. Everyone stared at me. "The sooner we get this over with the better. And if we have to make adjustments to the map along the way, I'm the only one who can do it."
Besides, sitting around here was driving me crazy. Anything, even this ridiculous mission, had to be an improvement.
"You are not going alone," Kisara announced. "I will take you to see these locations."
"Great, and we can take bets on how long it'll take someone to get wind of your presence. Forget it," I said.
"I will come," she insisted.
"No. You will stay here and guard Mokuba. If you would help me, you will protect him."
She bent her neck. "I acquiesce," she said softly.
I was glad Mokuba was off exploring the town. I'd never left him before, except for that time when I was in a coma. Then again, I'd never had anyone I could trust with his well-being. But, I was sure Mokuba'd have something to say about remaining, and it wasn't a conversation I wanted to have in front of everyone.
Yami looked at Yugi.
Yugi nodded in return. I wondered if they could still read each others minds, or whatever it was they did, because Yugi said. "It's okay, Yami. I've never stopped you from doing what you needed to do yet, and I never will."
"Thank you," Yami said. "This is what I was called here to do… the beginning of the battle I was called here to fight. I am sure of it. I will go with Kaiba."
"There is much to do here as well. By the time you return we will be ready for battle," Mahaado said. I could see his eyes light up at the thought of finally getting to meet his enemy head on.
"Now that that's been decided, I will go and consider who will be needed to fly patrols of the no man's land between Set's domain and our own. It is controlled by neither and both sides may travel and fight there without arousing suspicion. My dragons will check on this third location, and make sure that the borderlands through which you will travel are clear," Kisara said.
Yugi swallowed. "Your dragons will be in danger," he said.
Kisara drew herself up to her full height and looked down at him. "The ones I will send are sacrifice monsters. If they give their lives, they will have fulfilled their purpose. You must respect their nature."
The contrast between them was ludicrous, but Yugi didn't back down.
"I disagree," he said. "Sacrifice is something we might all have to do, but it's not our purpose in life. No one is born for no other reason than to die."
"Your words may be true for humans, but I am a dragon," Kisara said as she glided from the room.
Yami said turning to me, "Just so long as you remember that not all dragons are made for sacrifice. When we leave together, I would have you return in one piece."
Did I say that my anger had dissipated a little? Maybe it had, but at Yami's words, at his show of concern, at his presumption in lecturing me about staying alive, my rage flared anew. I pushed aside last night's confused emotions. Anger was much cleaner. I breathed it in with relief; let it clear my head of all useless thoughts.
"Don't worry, unlike certain pharaohs I could name, I have every intention of staying alive," I retorted. "And I don't see what all the fuss is about, anyway. I hate to break it to you, but you're already dead."
"We will not sicken or age, unless we will it," Mahaado interrupted, as if he didn't realize this was between Yami and me. "But if we are slain in battle, then we must leave this world."
"Considering how many duels I've seen you in – and how many times you landed in the graveyard – if you were that easy to get rid of, this would be one big, empty world," I pointed out.
"Whether in this world or yours, a duel is different. When you duel, we are but agents of your will. The risks here, as in a shadow game, are assumed by the duelists themselves. But when we choose to hazard our lives – either in battle, or by dueling on our own behalf, then we assume the same danger as you – the risk of disappearing. For the pharaoh, as for you, the danger is even more acute, for he has no avatar, no card-self to fall back on. And those who depart this world do not return."
"You can't be deader than dead," I argued.
"But we do not feel dead. And what lies beyond this world is still the unknown… and that is always frightening to contemplate."
"Only if you're afraid of living," I sneered, turning to Yami. "Because every day that you're alive, you're facing the unknown. Only a coward would prefer death."
"I have taken your insults long enough, Kaiba!" Yami roared. "For all your boasts, have you ever once lived for yourself? What has your life been but a slow death?"
Despite my anger, I grinned. I had finally broken Yami's temper, snapped him back to my level, reminded him that, despite everything, he was still human enough to get spitting mad.
"And I'm tired of your self-righteous platitudes," I shot back. "Who are you to prattle on about friendship when you walked away without a backwards glance? Who are you to question my decisions when your own have been even worse?"
"At least my decisions were based on more than anger and hatred. At least I had more than despair pushing me to this course. After Death-T you were in a coma for months. You dare to call me a coward? Admit for once that you did not intend to return!"
"That was two fucking years ago! How can you talk about change, and then throw my failures in my face? This is why I hate the past. Because it follows me around like a stray dog that refuses to leave no matter how hard I kick it."
We were both breathing heavily, as if we had been trading punches instead of insults. Predictably, Yami was the first to call a halt.
"You're right. That was unjust. I should not have lashed out at you through my own confusion and doubt."
Yami paused. I was glad. I didn't want him to apologize when every word he'd said was true. It seemed like I'd been trying to trade my life for Mokuba's safety forever, and the only thing I'd regretted about any of it was that it hadn't worked; that it had led to my almost killing him instead.
'You may not have succeeded in throwing your life away, but Mokuba is safe. Why isn't that enough?'
I didn't have an answer – for Yami or for the voice inside my own head. But I looked at Yami and found that my anger was gone. "It's okay. At least it proves you're human," I told him.
"After Death-T… what did make you decide to return?" Yami asked quietly.
"You know why. I wasn't ready to give up, and I still had obligations to the living. I just needed reminding. You called to me. I heard you. I was trying to do the same for you. Pretty stupid of me."
"No," Yami answered, "It was brave to come so far for a friend."
"I refused to believe I had wasted my respect on a coward or a cheat."
"You know you did not. We are needed here, and that must take precedence over everything."
"Always," I agreed. "Any freedom we win for ourselves is carved out against necessity's constraints. But life imposes enough bonds on us, without our adding to their weight. What will you do when your obligations are complete, Yami? Will you simply look for new chains?"
"I could ask the same of you," he said.
I refused to break eye contact, even though, once again, I had no answer to give him. I'd been trying to find a true future, but I couldn't pretend I'd gotten there – or that I even knew if I was finally on the right track. I wondered if the upcoming battle would provide an answer, as battles so often did.
The silence stretched between us. Finally, Yami shook his head and muttered, "Yugi was wrong. Sometimes the words simply will not come."
Although I agreed with the sentiment, I couldn't keep from snapping, "What are you babbling about now?"
I wasn't really angry anymore, but I was trying to keep the fight going, since it felt so familiar. I didn't expect Yami to understand that, so he surprised me by saying, quietly, "You are the one who's lived by viewing life as a battle, by being constantly ready to attack. Anger is your game Kaiba, not mine. Use it as your sanctuary, if you must. But do not entomb yourself within its walls. That would be as big a denial of life as the one you accuse me of."
"You lost any right to tell me what to do when you walked through that door," I returned.
"I never had the right to order your existence. Only the right to advise, to care, and to sometimes grieve. Those are the rights of a friend, and I will never relinquish them. Neither have you, or you would not be here, standing before me, trying to entice me into a fight neither of us truly wants."
He was right, but agreeing suddenly felt like it would be as irrevocable a decision as the one that had brought him here. For once, I was the one who wanted to let the matter drop.
As if in answer to my silence, Yami came up to me, and said, much too quietly to be heard by anyone else, "Last night we stood so close. Closer than we had ever stood in the world outside. For the first time I saw the possibilities that had eluded me before; since I could not reach out to them with Yugi's hands. Whatever happens, I want you to know, you have always had my regard… you have always been worthy of it."
I had nothing to say to that, so I turned back to the map, and the task of refining our plan of action.
MOKUBA'S NARRATIVEI came back to the palace to find Kisara guarding the front entrance.
"I have been waiting for you," she said.
"Why?" I asked, with a sick feeling that I'd been off with Mana when I should have been inside.
"Your brother has discovered two possible locations for Set's headquarters. We must send out scouts to determine which is the true seat of his power, so we can attack before he has the chance to elude us once again. It is important you understand. If we can defeat Set's general, his forces will scatter. Just as in a chess match, capturing the king will end the game.
"So if we beat the head boss in his castle, we win?
"Not entirely. Not forever. Eventually, Set will regroup. But it would take several millennia for him to set up a new game."
"Close enough for me," I said. "When are we leaving?"
"Only two may travel undetected," Kisara said gently. "Your brother and the pharaoh."
"What?" I yelled.
"The smaller the number the more likely that they will avoid detection. All of us here are too familiar. Set's spellcasters would instantly detect our presence. The scouts we send must be someone from your world, not ours."
"Why not Nisama and me? We're a team. I can't let him go without me," I argued.
"If you go, all he will focus on is keeping you safe. He will not care for his mission – for you are his mission. Nor will he care for keeping himself alive."
I scowled because she was right. But I didn't want to let Nisama out of my sight for days in this strange place.
"He does not know how to be apart from you," Kisara said. "If you ask, he will not refuse you. But neither will he take the proper care to return."
"But we're a team," I repeated.
"Yes, but you are also two separate people. You must let Kaiba learn this. You both need to know that you can let each other out of your sight – without losing each other. To truly be together, you must learn to be apart."
Nisama had a point about the people (and monsters) in this place. Except for Mana, most of the stuff they said made absolutely no sense. But I couldn't quite ignore Kisara's words, because I couldn't shrug away the feeling that she knew Nisama as well as me… or at least knew a different part of him. All those years with Gozaburo, she had been a big part of what had kept him sane, even though in the end, neither she nor I had been enough. Yami had been the one to bring him back, not me. I didn't like it… but maybe if I wanted Nisama to find himself, sending him off looking with Yami wasn't such a bad idea.
I grunted, since I didn't know what to say.
"I would never deny you the right to face death at his side. But although there are always risks, this task should not prove as perilous as you fear," Kisara continued. "I promise that if you face Set's general, you will do so together and share the same fate. Until then, let Kaiba undertake this journey. Do not insist on accompanying him."
"Why do you call him Kaiba, and not Seto?" I asked, knowing it was a stall. Kisara probably knew too, but she answered anyway.
"He is no longer of this time. He needs a modern name."
I grunted again, to show I was listening. Besides, it always worked for my brother.
"Mokuba, why did you come?" she asked. I wasn't sure if Kisara was starting a new topic or returning to the old one.
"You know why… to find Yami."
"I'm not asking why your brother is here. I'm asking for your reasons. Did you truly come here for Yami?"
"He's a great guy and all… but, no. I came because of Nisama. I can't really explain it… Nisama got so mad at Yami for doing all the stuff he does to himself, all the time, without ever thinking twice. I thought maybe if we came, somewhere along the way, he'd catch a clue."
I stopped, but it wasn't because I'd run out of things to say. I dug in the ground with the toe of my sneaker.
"And…" she prompted.
"People leave. That's what they do. But this time, with Yami… Nisama got so mad. It was the first time someone got through to him. And I didn't want him to just push it all down again, to pretend it didn't happen, that he didn't care. I thought… even if Yami doesn't come back, just this once… I'd like Nisama to get a chance to say good-bye."
"Then let your brother go on this journey. There is much that he and the pharaoh have left unsaid for far too long."
I snorted. "They look in a talking mood to you?"
She gave a matching snort, before saying, "Your brother is a creature of extremes. If he can find his way around his rage and hatred at the pharaoh for leaving, he will love the pharaoh, instead."
Yami was important to Nisama. That was such a singular fact in and of itself that I'd never though about the 'whys' before. But love? I shook my head. I'd already figured out that Kisara's mind didn't work like a regular human's did – it made odd leaps. But this seemed like a stretch, even for her. I was about to argue the point, but Yugi had wandered out in time to hear her words. And he didn't look surprised.
"You think?" I asked.
"I know," he answered. "At least on Yami's part. And I don't think he's alone in this."
"Even if you're right," I said to Kisara, "What if Yami doesn't come back with us? How does talking to Yami help Nisama, then?"
Kisara didn't have shoulders exactly (well, not like mine), but she seemed to shrug, anyway. "Despite all our efforts, even spellcasters can not predict or control the future. This is an impasse that has stood through 3,000 years and two lifetimes. It must be cleared away before either can truly move on – in life or in death."
"If Yami stays here, my brother's going to be hurt."
"If the pharaoh leaves him again, Kaiba will be hurt – whether he acknowledges his pain or not, whether he admits to the reasons for its existence or not. Your brother has accepted great pain on your behalf. He deserves the chance to decide what he will risk on his own."
I couldn't think of an answer, so I turned to Yugi.
"She's got a point, you know," Yugi said.
"About Nisama?"
"And Yami."
"How come you're not going? I thought you and Yami were a team, too," I asked.
"If I had gone, instead of your brother, Yami would look to me, like he always does. But that has to stop. When we dueled, I sealed his Monster Reborn. Yami took that as a sign he was meant to die. The other night, he asked me what he should do. If I told him that to come back… he'd probably do it. But it's his life. He's the one who has to decide to live it. I can't do that for him. I want Yami to come back even more than you do, Mokuba. But Yami has to learn to make his own decisions. Otherwise he's just as trapped… otherwise he's just as dead, wherever he goes."
I grunted. It was better than admitting Yugi was right.
"But I can't tell Yami that he owes it to himself to live his own life, and make my words stick," Yugi continued. "Your brother's always been the one to challenge him; to push him beyond what he thought possible."
I couldn't argue with that, either. I was just the same as Yugi. At Death-T, I'd known Nisama was wrong – every step of the way. And I'd taken each step with him, anyway. I'd have killed Yugi and Jounouchi and Honda and Anzu, rather than tell Nisama he was wrong. We'd always been like that. Nisama had spent months checking out Gozaburo. I'd taken one look at him and known he was nuts. Sometimes I wondered: if I'd have told Nisama, would he have listened? But telling Nisama what to do had never been my job. I didn't say anything to Yugi. I couldn't, not about this, but Yugi answered me anyway.
" I love Yami, just like you love Kaiba, but neither of us are good at pushing them the way they need to be pushed – the way they push each other. Sometimes you have to accept that you can't be everything – even for the people you love. It's hard, but sometimes you have to let them find their own way."
I nodded. I'd already admitted to myself that Kisara was right and I had to let Nisama go, but Yugi was making me feel better about the whole thing.
"You were right the other day," Yugi said. "They're friends, even if they don't always act like it or accept it. I'm going to trust to that."
"They have a mission," Kisara said. "That will ground them. It always has."
"Yeah," said Yugi. "There's a lot more at stake than even Yami's future – and he knew it all along. We're needed here… not just for this world, but for ours."
"I'm worried about what happens after we save the world," I said sourly.
Thanks to Bnomiko for betaing this chapter and helping me get my compass headings in order.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: One of the things I really liked about Battle City was that while Yami, Yugi, Jounouchi and Kaiba were all, in their own ways, committed to stopping Malik and his Rare Hunters, Yami, Kaiba and Jounouchi all had their own personal quests: Yami was trying to win because he believed getting the three god cards was the key to recovering his memories, Kaiba believed that winning on the site of his adoptive father's weapons factory would enable him to defeat the anger and hatred in his heart and move into a true future, and Jounouchi wanted to prove to himself that he was a true duelist. I like the way these personal goals all existed within the framework of the larger story, and how they played off against each other. Anyway, presumptuous as it sounds, I wanted to try to do the same type of thing: that while Yami, Yugi, Kaiba and Mokuba have a collective mission to defeat Set, they all have their own personal journeys as well.