Chapter 10
The idea that Shepard loved him was horrifying to Garrus. How could anyone act so spiteful to someone they loved? He supposed Shepard was trying to push him away, to rid herself of her feelings. Still, that she hadn't even reacted after Kaidan had spilled her secret, that she'd merely suggested they get back to the ship, was a clear sign that she didn't want to talk about it.
Good. Garrus didn't want to talk about it either. They could both just pretend that nothing had happened, and get back to fighting the Collectors.
It sounded like a good plan, but now Garrus didn't know how to act around her. He couldn't bring himself to participate in their usual hateful banter, because now it felt like he was being cruel to her. He noticed that she too was especially quiet.
In fact, as he prepared to board the Collector ship with Shepard and Kasumi, Garrus realized that he and the commander hadn't spoken to each other about anything aside from work in the week that had passed since Horizon, despite that they had been forced to communicate at length in regard to mission preparations and evaluations.
The shuttle landed, and he gawked as they stepped into the massive ship. It he'd thought Horizon was creepy, words couldn't accurately describe the ominous feeling the Collector ship gave him.
"This doesn't feel right, Shepard," he murmured, no longer focused on the strain between them.
"Let's just keep moving," she suggested, holding tightly onto her heavy pistol. "Quick and quiet."
Kasumi, the usually-peppy thief, offered no input. Clearly she was also spooked by the ship.
They located a control board, and Shepard was able to connect EDI to it. By the time they realized it was a trap, they were already under attack. Wave after wave of Collectors assaulted them, and all they could do was sprint back to the shuttle and hope they made it in time. Joker was over their comms, reminding them that he'd already been blown up by this ship once before, but they didn't need the motivation to run faster.
Finally they made it, just in time, and the Normandy evaded a few blasts from the ship before Joker was able to kick into faster than light speeds. Once he had, they immediately lost the Collector ship.
While most of the crew celebrated what seemed to be a successful mission, Shepard, Garrus, Joker, and Kasumi did not. They knew the Illusive Man had set them up. And if Garrus knew Shepard, she was saving a few choice words for the next time he dared to contact her.
He was right. He had waited for her outside the conference room, and the series of shouted insults and expletives she spewed from inside the room reached Garrus' ear cavities easily. He was impressed not only by the sheer volume the human could achieve, but by the colorful vocabulary he never knew she possessed. He had never seen Shepard this angry before, but now he knew not only why she made such a good soldier, but why she had so quickly been appointed the first human Spectre. She was clearly a force to be reckoned with.
While the rest of the crew would have avoided her after such an outburst, fearful of the wrath of their commander, Garrus knew better. He knew that after telling the Illusive Man exactly what she thought of him, Shepard would enjoy nothing more than the look on the man's holographic face as she threatened him in ways that would have made a krogan blush.
Once, again, he was right. He heard the chime of the disconnect button, and she strolled out of the room, grinning from ear to ear.
"Oh, hey, Bird. Did you need something?"
He flinched internally, but tried not to react to the nickname he so loathed. "Yeah, actually. I never really got to talk to you about what happened on Omega."
She frowned slightly.
"Don't worry," he assured her, "I wouldn't bring it up if it wasn't relevant."
"Alright," she consented, waving him inside the conference room. "Take a seat."
They sat across the table from one another, and she watched his face, prepared to listen patiently. She had never given him such focused attention before (well, once, but in a very different situation) and it made him nervous.
He cleared his throat. "Right. So, after I left the Normandy—" she smirked, recalling, but he continued without pause, "—I worked with C-Sec for a while longer. Tried for Spectres, but they didn't have any open positions. I quit again. I think I mentioned before how much I hated all the red tape, how all the rules made it impossible to do my job –"
"And I think I mentioned that the rules are there for a reason, and every life is important," she reminded him. "The rules are there to protect people. It's better to let a criminal loose than to kill an innocent man."
He resisted the urge to glare at her, remembering that he needed a favor from her.
"Yeah. Right. Anyway, I was getting sick of not accomplishing anything, so I left. Then I saw the news coverage about the Normandy wreck."
Though she tried to hide it, he could see her expression shift from placid to poignant.
"Can I ask you a question?"
She nodded warily.
"What really happened to you?"
What was he doing? He didn't want to know about her or what happened to her. He cared about the good people that were lost that day. Not Shepard. Never her.
"I died. Cerberus recovered my body and brought me back. I don't know how, and sometimes I wish they hadn't."
He stared at her. Impossible. He had noticed the light scarring on her face, the new cybernetics she implemented frequently in battle, but no one could actually come back from the dead.
"But how –"
"Let's get back to what you wanted to talk about," she said sternly. Obviously she was not comfortable with this topic. Maybe that was why she had snapped a few weeks ago when he approached her for answers in the mess hall.
Right. Back to his reason for talking to her. No more distractions.
"So, after I saw the news coverage, that got me thinking more about Spectres, and how they operate outside the law, and how lawlessness isn't always a bad thing. Then I remembered that Omega is lawless. I could go there and do whatever I wanted. Be a force of good in that evil place."
She was growing restless, and he hurried along.
"I built a team of people to help me fight crime and keep the gangs in check. I trusted them all greatly. We pissed off the gangs a lot, but they could never find our base. Until Sidonis."
He could hear his voice darken, and he noticed that he'd caught her attention.
"He was one of the members of my team. But he betrayed us. Told the gangs where our base was, lured me out, and ran off. When I got back, all but two of my men were dead. But they were already injured. I was too late for any of them." His fists clenched and unclenched on the table. "I got a lead about Sidonis. He was seen with a man named Fade on the Citadel. I want to – I need to find him. You humans have a saying: 'An eye for an eye, a life for a life.' He owes me ten lives… and I plan to collect."
She nodded, contemplating. "Alright. I understand. You're free to go at any time."
He looked down at the table. Shit, he hated asking for favors. Especially from her.
"Actually, I was hoping you'd help me out."
Her nose wrinkled in confusion. "You need a ride to the Citadel? I suppose we can swing by, since I needed to talk to Anderson –"
He shook his head. "Shepard – Commander – I want you to go with me. To get him out into the open and distract him so I can line up a shot."
She cocked an eyebrow at him and he sank into his chair sheepishly.
"You want my help?"
"I know," he sighed. "It's weird to me too." He finally felt he couldn't dance around what happened on Horizon anymore. "I know we don't exactly, ah, get along..."
Shepard snorted. "That's one way to put it."
"But there's no one I trust to finish a mission more than you. We work well as a team. Even you can't argue with me about that. That's why you always take me on the most important missions."
He watched her shift awkwardly and wondered if maybe there was a different reason.
"You're right," she replied hesitantly.
"Please, Shepard, at least consider it."
He stood to leave.
"Bird."
He paused and looked back at her.
"I'll do it."
He nodded, and restrained a smile as he left.
(A/N): I love that I'm getting lots of different input and opinions. I can't wait to see what everyone makes of it! I already know how it's going to end, it's just working on the transitions that's taking me so long.