CAS-

Castiel left the Winchester's motel room with great effort – removing himself from Dean's embrace had proven more difficult than he'd anticipated. It was too good, too comfortable, too much like home for him to leave. But as the doorknob turned and Sam opened the door, he left, because that's what Dean wanted. His mind was still running through the words Dean had sobbed out to him, his confessions and fears.

I don't want you to leave me, Cas

If Sam knows about us, and you leave, then it's real

It is real, Cas echoed back, because how could it not be? He couldn't breathe from the ache he felt. As long as Sam didn't know, then Dean could pretend that what he felt, what Cas himself felt, wasn't real, that none of it – not the words, the caresses, the touches, none of it – had ever happened. Whether he should he be furious with the hunter or determined to show Dean that he wasn't leaving, Castiel didn't know. All he felt was an aching resolve that had settled itself deep in his Grace, accompanied with a voice that betrayed, But what if you do leave, Castiel?

"No," He breathed out, voice ragged and determined. He wouldn't leave Dean; he'd made his choice. Free Will. Earth. Dean. Not even the deep-rooted abiding obedience that had been shoved down his throat since he was a fledging - since Gabriel left, since Balthazar disappeared - could deter him from this. Heaven may have been where he was born, but Dean, Sam; they were his home now. Castiel had chosen them, and that was more powerful than any persuasion Heaven could offer. The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. A human term, but Castiel found he could relate to it. The bonds forged by choice, the ones he'd formed with the Winchesters, with Dean – he had to believe they were stronger than those of his brothers. He had to.

Castiel blew out a long breath, wishing he could will away the tension in his body permanently. He reached into his pocket and drew out the amulet that Dean had – reluctantly – given to him. So far he hadn't been able to find God, but he was still clinging onto the remnants of his faith that he would. His Father was out there, and surely he had answers as to why he left, and he would help them defeat Lucifer, and then he would thank Castiel for helping, even though he'd defied direct orders of Heaven. Castiel was sure of it.

"Well someone has to believe in the guy, right, Castiel?" A smug voice mocked from behind him. Cas resisted the urge to jerk away from the abrupt sound, and instead turned to see Gabriel, sporting a grin that made Castiel uneasy.

"Gabriel." He nodded, refusing to acknowledge his previous statement, jaw clenched. He didn't care if no one else had faith, hadn't believed Raphael when he said God was dead, and he didn't want to hear what Gabriel had to say on the matter. Not tonight, because he hadn't even known that Gabriel was still alive until a few hours ago, and a small part of him felt like celebrating his health. The much larger part of course, wanted to remedy that, and this time make sure the Archangel was truly dead this time.

"Oh, we both know you couldn't take me, little bro. Just because I let you win when you were a wittle fledging doesn't mean I'll go easy on you now." He leered, and Castiel couldn't help the surge of fondness at mention of their childhood – however brief it had been. He cocked his head to glare at Gabriel, though, at the intended insult. Gabriel had been gone for centuries; he had no idea what he was capable of. In Heaven, before his rebellion, he had been a soldier, almost the highest rank below the Archangels, leader of his garrison. He had been the one to raise the Righteous Man from Perdition, when no one else could.

"What are you doing here, Gabriel?" He asked wearily, because he had plans to visit Dean again tonight; he'd been experimenting with dreams, and he figured he could try it with Dean.

"Ah, so that's how it is between you and the hunter. Tell me Cas, what's it like getting between the legs of the Righteous Man intended for Michael only – turns out he's not the only one that's getting inside of Dean Winchester, hey, Cassie?" He taunted, and Castiel flushed with embarrassment and anger, and a little jealousy. Dean was not for Michael, and Gabriel's teasing bothered him, but he couldn't stop the blush from forming; he actually hadn't been in Dean, rather the other way around.

He heard cackling beside him and flushed deeper, and cursed himself for not thinking to shield his thoughts better. "Do you mean to tell me, Castiel, Angel of the Lord, fearless warrior, is spreading his legs for a human? Come on, you can't tell me you don't even have the urge to tap that ass?" He laughed, and Cas rolled his eyes, but he couldn't tell him otherwise – Castiel craved control, and he wondered what it would be like to be inside Dean, making him beg and whimper in a way the hunter hadn't for anyone else. He'd tasted a sliver of that last night, and he found himself wanting more. He quickly forced those thoughts from his mind though, lest Gabriel hear them.

Gabriel cleared his throat awkwardly. "Look, uh, Cas - I know I left Heaven while you were still young, and I know you had to fend for yourself. I know. I just- I wanted you to know that I think you, uh, you turned out great. You figured it out Cas, on your own. Not just the being an angel, but the freedom of choice thing. As the angel who was supposed to look after you, I wanted to say I'm- proud of you, bro. And if you wanna continue this hunt for God, I'll try my best to help."

Castiel was shocked. The last time Gabriel had been that serious he had been a young angel, and he hadn't known why his big brother was so sad. He hadn't seen him again after that, and it wasn't until years later did Cas realise he was saying goodbye. He was touched at the Archangel's words. "Thank you, Gabriel." He murmured.

Gabriel nodded once, before grinning up at the angel. "Good. Now, what were we saying about topping Dean-o?"

Castiel groaned. There was the Gabriel he knew.

DEAN-

Dean was dreaming. That he was sure of. He wasn't sure what, exactly, he had been dreaming of, but it didn't matter, because Cas was beside him, in the Impala, and AC/DC was blasting out the stereo. Cas had ditched the trench coat and suit in favour for a grey button up that he'd rolled up the sleeves of and a pair of ripped denim jeans. All in all, he was ten kinds of sexy and twenty kinds of fuckable that had slid under his skin. He wasn't sure when his dream version of Cas became actual Castiel in his dream, but suddenly Cas wasn't just relaxing pliant in the seat, but turning to him and grazing blue eyes over his body.

"Dean," He said. It didn't feel like a dream, anymore, not really. He had been visited by Castiel in a dream before, so he knew what this was. He felt a thrill roll down his spine at what could happen. After all, the backseat was right there…

"Cas." He replied, smirking at the angel, who had decidedly not changed his clothing. Dean let his gaze fall over the angel hungrily. He wanted to see those clothes ripped and on the floor of the car more than he wanted them on Cas, to be honest. He cleared his throat. "Anything important to report, Cas?" He asked, because last time Cas visited him in his dreams it had ended badly. Or really well, depending on how you looked at it. Still.

Castiel smiled slowly, and Dean swallowed again. "No," He shook his head, confirming Dean's hopes. "Actually, I was hoping this encounter would end a little …" He flicked his eyes down to Dean's crotch and back again. "Messier. And much more satisfying."

Dean growled, surging forward to kiss Castiel, bringing the angel almost onto his lap. Castiel grabbed at Dean's neck and hair, and Dean didn't know if it was because of what he'd said a few hours earlier or because of something else, but it was like Cas was trying to tell him, through every touch and kiss and movement against Dean, that he was here. And maybe, just maybe, he was also trying to say that he wasn't ever going to not be. It felt like a promise, whispered between them, and Dean hoped the translation didn't get lost in the roaring sound in his ears as Cas pressed himself closer and closer still.

Dean didn't know how the thought entered his mind, but suddenly he was thinking of that dark and horrible future, and how Castiel was there, in 2014, with him. And how the fallen angel had loved him there, even when he ruined him, even when he sent him to his death - Cas loved him through it all. But that Cas was broken and human, and Dean knew the two weren't mutually exclusive. It was an unspoken truth that Cas was falling, in the here and now, would continue falling because of his rebellion, which he'd done for Dean. And, Dean wondered, if this was the beginning of Cas' descent into humanity, surely, Cas knew.

And it hit Dean like a freight train, in the Impala, in the dream, that Castiel did know. He knew what he was getting into, what he was becoming, what he was condemning himself to by just being with Dean, and rebelling for because of Dean. And still he stayed in Dean's arms and accepted all Dean had to give, even asking for more, and loving him even if he was the reason he was falling.

He knew Cas as a human, and it wasn't something he wanted to see again, but a disturbingly large, selfish, needy part of Dean didn't care, not if meant he could keep Cas. Could he do that? Ruin this beautiful creature just to have him stay?

"You're thinking too loud." Cas whispered, teeth nipping at his earlobe. Dean shivered at the touch, but drew back, panicked. Cas laid his hand on the back of Dean's neck, pulling him forward till his forehead rested against Castiel's. "Dean, I know what I rebelled for. Free Will. Because of you, I can choose what I want. And I. Chose. You. And I chose to rebel, and I am choosing to help you. I didn't choose to love you though," He added with a wry smile, "But I don't regret that, not even a little, because it means I can feel. Dean," He whispered, placing Dean's hand over where Cas' rested against the handprint on his shoulder, "I don't think you realise how significant that is. How much that means to me. I may be falling, but… I'm falling into you, and if you'll let me, I'd like to stay there."

Dean closed his eyes against the intensity of his gaze, because it was too much; what Castiel was saying to him, what he was promising, what he was asking of him. Dean would gladly give anything, everything he asked, to Cas, in a heartbeat. He would accept all his promises and believe in them. It was just too hard.

Ask me to stay.

The insistence of the words rang familiar, and it shot through Dean, echoing through him. For a second he thought Cas had was speaking to him in his mind, but then he realised it was Cas – but not this one. The fallen Cas, the one that had been the reason behind him kissing Castiel those few weeks ago, the one that he'd forgotten had told him to ask Castiel to stay. He'd said it so imploringly, like it was imperative, and Dean realised that it was. That Cas knew that if he didn't ask this of his Cas, it would be just another stepping stone into the Castiel he'd encountered in the future.

So Dean took a deep breath and opened his eyes. He didn't think Cas had still been listening to his thoughts, because the hope in his eyes had become tinged with fear, and Dean needed to rid him of that. "Cas, please," He whispered, "Stay. I want you to, need you to, so just stay, please stay-" He would've gone on pleading, but Cas' mouth on his silenced his litanies, and when Cas pulled away for the brief second before Dean crushed the angel's lips back to his own, Dean could see the vivacity of wonderment in them, and he melted right back into Cas' embrace.

Dean thought about moving to the backseat, but Cas didn't budge, just continued to kiss at Dean's jaw and neck and collarbone. When he reached the top of his shirt, he heard a growl, and then his shirt was being ripped off him, exposing his chest to Cas' hungry eyes. Dean chuckled before pressing forward into Cas' mouth, which was currently biting his nipples, playing with the sensitive skin, eliciting dirty moans in ragged breaths from the hunter. Dean reached his hands out to pull at the soft fabric of Castiel's button up. He tugged the sides, and the buttons flew open, some flying off to hit the windshield. He shucked the shirt of Cas' shoulders and let his hands explore the canvas of skin, which was still painted with fading bruises and marks. Dean smirked as he fingered over them, knowing full well Castiel chose to keep them there as a reminder of their sexual endeavours.

When he pushed particularly hard against a bruise on Cas' hip, the angel groaned, momentarily ceasing his attack on Dean's skin in favour of grinding down on Dean. When Dean groaned, he saw the angel flash a wicked lovely grin at him, sending his insides aflutter in a way that was so not manly. But in the next instant, all thoughts of his masochism fled from his mind as Cas' hands found their way down Dean's pants, shoving the fabric of his boxers away to grasp Dean's cock.

"Nggh" He moaned, mouth slack with want as he pushed his hips forward into Cas' tight hold of his dick. Castiel's other hand was deftly unbuttoning and unzipping his pants, and Dean used the hand that wasn't digging into the leather of the seats to help him shove his jeans and underwear down to about his knees. After that, Cas gave up, instead moving towards where his other hand was currently stroking the head of Dean's cock.

He noticed Cas eyeing his cock keenly, even licking his lips as another bead of pre come fell from his penis, and he smirked, biting his lip and bucking his hips, drawing Cas' eyes to his. He blushed when he realised that Dean had caught him wanting. "What's that, Cas? Wanna suck me off? Wrap those pretty lips around my dick til I come down your throat?" He asked, punctuating each word carefully, and he saw Cas' eyes flash with want, and he moaned at the hunter's words, needing it as much as Dean did.

"C'mon, baby," He drawled, barely able to speak he was so full with want, needing those lips on him. Cas raised up on his knees, so that his head was somewhere near his stomach and chest, before he sunk down on Dean's cock, taking it all in one go. "Oh, fuck," Dean cursed, threading his fingers through Cas' soft hair, loving how they slipped through his fingers every time Cas sunk back down. Cas hummed around his dick, licking the slit, before taking it all again, holding it there until Dean couldn't take it anymore. "Oh, Cas, Cas!" He moaned, trying to hold his hips down, but Cas pulled off and gave him a quick nod, telling him it was okay.

When Cas opened his mouth pliantly, for Dean to use, to fuck into, Dean had to bite his lip to not come right there. He gripped Cas' hair this time, holding him in place as he slowly thrust into his wet hot mouth. It was so, so good, and Dean couldn't help but drive faster, chasing his orgasm. He felt Cas slip forward until his mouth was at the base of his cock, and he let Dean hold him there, until the hunter couldn't hold it any longer and he came with a breathtaking cry, Cas swallowing the whole load. He continued to swallow down against Dean's cock, and he jerked at the sensation against his sensitive dick.

Cas eventually pulled off, eyes wide and unfairly innocent, mouth wet and plump. Dean breathed heavily, head resting against the seat. He couldn't resist pulling the angel back onto his lap to kiss him, and he moaned at the taste of himself, at Cas' mouth, now slack and warm from sucking him off. Cas was still hard in his pants, and Dean decided to take care of that. Cas seemed to have the same idea, as Cas rid himself of the pants and boxers with a thought. Dean let the angel wrap his legs around Dean and grind against him urgently, wrapping one hand around his angel's cock while the other went to where his neck met his shoulder, sliding and grinding against Cas as he jacked him off expertly, twisting at the base, flicking his thumb over the slit on the head. Cas' forehead rested against his shoulder as he nipped marks into his skin and groaned at the feeling of skin on skin.

Cas spilled over the both of them, biting particularly hard into his last mark, almost drawing blood. Dean groaned, dipping his finger into the mess between them and licking it off. Cas' eyes darkened at that, and Dean smirked. Maybe they would have time for another round or two before he had to wake up…

Dean didn't see Cas again until they were at Bobby's, and while he and Sam were discussing their plans to shoot the Devil – of all things – he couldn't help glancing past his brother to the angel sitting on the barstool, downing shots like they were water. He smiled proudly and the dumbfounded expression on Ellen's face, and the impressed look on Jo's.

Sam eventually noticed his staring, and he smirked, looking back to see Jo grabbing another beer out of the fridge. He looked back at Dean with raised eyebrows. "Speaking of bad ideas." He grinned, and Dean nodded his head, but couldn't stop his eyes falling to Castiel.

"Tell me about it." He replied, a little sadly. Here he was, in a room with the people he loved, and the one person he loved in an entirely different and more intense way, and he was hiding it. Bobby made his way over to the bar where the rest of them were talking, and he imagined for a second that this was just a normal night, that they were a normal family having drinks and they were all meeting his boyfriend for the first time. The idea made him smile, before getting up and striding over to the kitchen area. He was intent on speaking to Jo, but he found his legs instinctively making their way over to the trench-coat wearing angel that was chatting with Ellen and Bobby.

When Cas noticed Dean coming, he smiled, his small, secretive smile, and looked at him affectionately. Dean would never get over the way Cas stared at him, like he hung the damn moon or something. He returned the smile, though, and caught sight of Ellen staring at him with a strange look on her face. She was looking between the two of them, before giving a final sympathetic look to Dean and turning to get another bottle of whiskey.

He couldn't imagine what Ellen was thinking, but he sat down next to Cas anyway, turning to face the angel. "So, it looks like this might be our last night, hey? Meeting the Devil tomorrow, and all." He said, going for casual, but his voice took on a flirtier tone without his permission, and Castiel cocked his head, smile widening.

"I suppose that's correct." He acknowledged, with a twinkle in his eye. He wondered what was going on in that feathery brain of his.

Jo chuckled, sliding over to them and smiling smugly. "Dean, don't tell me you're trying to give him the 'Last Night on Earth' speech?" She teased, and Dean flushed, because he actually was, and Jo was loud enough that the rest of them had heard, and they'd turned their heads toward the three of them to see what was going on. Sam was standing, looking at him and Cas, and he could almost hear the cogs working in his brain, obviously thinking to the night they had found Jimmy, before his eyes lit up in recognition and understanding.

"Oh, my God - you two?" He exclaimed, and Ellen's, Bobby's, and Jo's eyes widened in shock. Dean looked to Cas, because he was panicking – he hadn't seen this coming, and the thought of them all knowing about them - it terrified him. But as he met Cas' heady gaze, the world quietened, as did the raging hurricane inside. He felt a pleasant calmness wash over him that he soon realised was Cas, probably trying to soothe him. He smiled gratefully, and took his hand, before looking defiantly up at the others, daring them to say anything.

Bobby huffed. "Finally, idjits." He said gruffly, flashing a reassuring smile at Dean briefly before taking another swig of his drink. Dean felt some of the pressure lift off him – Bobby was after all, like a Father to him, and he was – always would be, always was – his Dad. A lot more than John had been anyway.

Ellen smiled sweetly and sternly in a way only she ever did. "Well, boy, I didn't think I'd ever see the day you would settle down with some – well, settle down as much as you can, these days anyways." She turned to Castiel. "You take good care of him, boy, you hear?" She warned lightly, but the undercurrents of the threat still rang through to Cas.

He smiled respectively, tightening his grip in Dean's. "I'll watch over him, Ellen, just as I always have." He replied, looking at Dean again.

Jo was next to respond. She cocked a self-assuring eyebrow. "Never thought you were into guys, Winchester. Then again, I bet those bowlegs sure make it easier to wrap your legs around him." She teased, and Dean flushed again. Though he wasn't really into guys, it was more he was into Cas – and if Cas had shown up as a female, he would love him all the same – in fact he probably would've tried to get into bed with him earlier, but that didn't matter anyway. That was the funny thing about love, he guessed.

Sam had been quiet, and Dean felt his panic spike. He thought Sam had reacted pretty well to what Jimmy had said to them all those months ago, but now he wasn't so sure. Finally, Sam sighed, "I'm gonna have to start getting a separate room when we check into Motels, aren't I?" He complained half-heartedly, and they laughed. Even Cas smiled a little at that.

"Well, it's that, or watch as me and Cas get naked and-"

"That's enough, fellas." Ellen scolded, but she was smiling. She brought another round of drinks and raised hers toward them. "To killing the Devil, Ending the end of the world, and…" she faded off, looking at Cas meaningfully, "To family." She toasted, before taking her shot. They all muttered a brief 'Cheers' before downing their drinks too.

Last night on Earth and Castiel had finally found somewhere he belonged.

CAS-

"Lucifer."

"So I take it you're here with the Winchesters."

"I-came alone."

"Loyalty…Hm. Such a nice quality to see in this day and age. Castiel, right?

"Castiel, I'm told you came here in an automobile."

"Yes."

"What was that like?"

"Um…slow. And confining."

"What a peculiar thing you are."

"What's wrong with your vessel?"

"Yes, um…think he's wearing a bit thin. Can't contain me forever, so..."

"You-" "You are not taking Sam Winchester. I won't let you."

"Castiel! I don't understand why you're fighting me. Of all the angels."

"You really have to ask?"

"I rebelled, I was cast out. You rebelled, you were cast out. Almost all of heaven wants to see me dead and if they succeed…guess what? You're their new public enemy No.1. We're on the same side so why don't you just serve you own best interests – which in this case just happen to be mine."

"I'll die first."

"I suppose you will."

DEAN-

"Bobby, its Jo. It…it's pretty bad."

CAS-

"You seem pleased." Castiel remarked, looking at the Demon who was smiling evilly. It made something twist in his stomach. These creatures were abomination – pure sin. He recoiled just at the thought of them.

"We're gonna win. Can you feel it? You cloud-hopping pansies lost the whole damn universe. Lucifer's gonna take over heaven. We're going to heaven, Clarence!" She exclaimed.

He ignored the lost reference. "Strange…Because I heard a different theory from a demon named Crowley." He replied, fighting a smirk when her smile faltered. He carefully turned his hand, unscrewing the metal vent that ran along the ceiling.

"You don't know Crowley."

"He believes Lucifer is just using demons to achieve an end. And then, once he does, he'll destroy you all." He continued, hoping it was enough to distract it.

It succeeded. "You're wrong; Lucifer is the father of our race. Our creator. Your God may be a dead-beat, but mine? Mine walks the Earth." Finally, it fell, connecting with the Demon and sending it into the fire. Cas gripped onto it, manoeuvring his hand to her forehead.

Nothing happened.

He faltered. It couldn't be…he didn't think he was this far fallen, not this soon. He tried again, but every time his Grace tried to reach out and perform the act, it hit some sort of barrier, too weak to penetrate his vessel.

The Demon laughed cruelly, taking pleasure in his confusion. You can't gank demons, can you? You're cut off from the Home Office and you ain't got the juice. So what can you do, you impotent sap?" He felt his blood boil from the Demon's words.

He caught the Demon staring down at his lips, the way Dean would sometimes do when he wanted to kiss him. Inside, he recoiled, but what he said was, "I can do this." Before leaning in as if to kiss the abomination. Instead of doing so, he waited until the last second, when the Demon's eyes had closed, and threw her down over the fire.

It screamed in agony, and Castiel sent a quick apology to the innocent vessel inside the Demon before stepping on the body and over the fire to find the Winchesters.

When he found them, it only took one anguished look from Dean to know that something had happened to Ellen and Jo. He quickly rescued them, transporting them to Bobby's, who rolled over to them immediately and grasped them in a tight hug. Ellen and Jo hadn't made it, then.

He felt remorse swirl in his gut, remembering how kind they had been, how Ellen had welcomed them into their family so easily, and accepted him even if he was a creature that a hunter would naturally feel compelled to hunt. The sorrow rose into his chest in an unfamiliar ache, accompanied with a feeling of isolation as the three hunters turned away from him to deal with their grief. Maybe he wasn't as much of their family as he'd thought.

He decided it was perhaps best to leave the three of them be, leaving Bobby's house to…well, wherever, he guessed.

DEAN-

Dean stumbled into the motel bedroom alone, drunk and in pain. He made his way to the bed on shaky legs, and whether it was from how drunk he was or how terrible he felt, he didn't know. All he knew was Ellen and Jo were dead, and Cas had disappeared right when he needed him most, and he was so drunk his vision was blurry.

"Cas, you son of a bitch, where are you?" He wondered aloud angrily and frantically, needing the angel with him.

Castiel appeared in a flurry of wings, looking about as gut-wrenched as Dean felt. The angel slumped down on the bed next to him, leaning into the hunter and letting his arms encircle his waist. Dean felt tears running down his cheeks, and wondered when he'd started crying, and if he'd stopped. He didn't know. Cas was shaking a little where crushed Dean to him, and he held on tighter.

"Dean-"

He interrupted the angel with hard lips on his, before pulling away. "I don't want to talk about this, Cas," He whispered raggedly, before pulling Cas to him again and resting his head against Cas'

Castiel turned to kiss him desperately, clutching onto him and breathing heavily, before pulling away a moment later. Dean let Cas undress him completely, let him manhandle him under the covers and into the position he wanted. Castiel spooned behind him, arms wrapping around his middle and kissing the nape of his neck lightly, sweetly, whispering Enochian words that he didn't understand, but felt himself calm down at the reassuring voice.

He sighed, trying to even out his breathing, relaxing in the angel's arms and drifting off to sleep. He fell asleep with the feel of Cas' body pressed behind him, with nothing in between them, both physically and not.