Lawli: So... I really didn't mean for it to take this long to update. But the last few weeks of school were really busy, between projects, exams, and the play I was in. I wanted to write, but I neither had the time nor the inspiration. But luckily, I'm officially done with school, and my inspiration magically came back to me. Can't say I didn't have help. I pestered a lot of friends into giving me ideas for this chapter, so a big thank-you to them - they'll know who they are. ;P And also listening to the Code Geass OST also provided inspiration! Especially the song "Le Repos Du Guerrier". I imagined that song playing in the background for most of this chapter, but the last scene in particular. Try and find it if you can, it's fun (though I can't remember when it ever played in CG. I'm re-watching episodes now trying to find it! haha).
Oh! Before you read the chapter, I'd like to ask you all to recommend some good anime for me. Since it's summer, I need something new to watch to take up free time. lol Any suggestions?
Anyways, I won't keep you much longer. Just to say one more thing: OMG 200+ REVIEWS!
Seriously, when I saw that I about had a heart attack. Thanks a bunch, you guys. I'm so glad you're enjoying this silly story so far, and I hope it continues to entertain you. -hugs and love and chocolates for all!-
THANKS TO... DarkBombayAngel, animehamster, Vermillion Lies, Arkaham, Crispy Rice, KirsMahai, Ace Clandestine, RangerInBlack, mochiusagi, L Lexuran, loki lee, emi to mao 147, hpets, bb-s, Mayumi Nakashima, loveableneko, xxxCodeTsubasa, Suffocated Entity, Diana Prince, Spotty, megumi natsuyama, Ten, Helen Nayke, MezuiroSnow, Candelabra, Serena the Hikari of Love... FOR REVIEWING!
Warnings: Boys in dresses, boys kissing boys, and those cliché romantic moments that we all love.
The Charlatans of Circumstance
-Chapter Ten-
The carriage was white with a gold trim, and a white hood that was drawn up to block out the sun. The seat, made of genuine leather, was meant for two people, though Suzaku felt rather squished having to share it with Lelouch. While this closeness was something couples probably enjoyed, being practically glued to Lelouch's side made Suzaku uncomfortable, and judging by the light blush on his pale face, Lelouch felt the same way.
Suzaku couldn't say it wasn't an interesting experience, though. This was definitely the best way to see the city; faster than walking but still more open than a car. Since the carriage was not completely closed off, a light breeze played against his face as it moved down the street, sending the gentle curls of Suzaku's wig fluttering behind him in a way that, to a bystander, probably made him look very pretty.
Two horses – after eagerly asking the coachman, Suzaku learned that their names were Lancelot and Vincent – drew the carriage through the park, and the steady clop-clopping of their hooves against the pavement was soothing.
A carriage ride through the park... it felt like a real date. If he was to be completely honest, Suzaku would admit to being the slightest bit flattered. Lelouch didn't have to do this for him, after all. The deal was that they had to act like they were engaged while in the presence of Lelouch's family and friends, and right now they were around neither. There was no reason for him and Lelouch to be spending time with each other, but they were, and Lelouch had even paid for the buggy the entire afternoon. Of course, Suzaku had tried to insist he pay, because he hated to feel indebted, but Lelouch silenced him with a huffed, "with what?" and Suzaku learned not to complain anymore, because doubtless this wasn't the sort of thing Lelouch did for just anyone (and it only made him wonder all the more, why was Lelouch doing it for him?).
"Um... Lelouch?"
The addressed, who had been quiet ever since they climbed onto the carriage half an hour ago, raised his head and turned his violet eyes on Suzaku.
"Is something wrong?" he asked, causing Suzaku to flush and quickly look away, embarrassed.
Suzaku fiddled with the lace trim of his dress. "Not wrong, per se," he replied, eyes staring intently down at his lap. "It's just... there's no-one around to see us right now."
Lelouch blinked, the subtlety lost on him. "And..?"
Suzaku bit down on his lower lip, hating to say this out loud, because he shouldn't question anything – not when Lelouch was being so kind to him. "And-and so I was just wondering why you have your hand on my leg!"
The words came out in a rush, and it was indeterminable if Lelouch actually understood any of them, but Suzaku was just proud he managed to get them out. Lelouch's eyes followed the line of Suzaku's gaze, settling on the brunette's left thigh where his hand was indeed resting.
"O-oh." Lelouch's cheeks were aflame as he hurriedly retracted his hand and attempted to put some distance between them. Unfortunately, the small chair didn't allow for that. "Sorry."
There was something about the tone of his voice that made Suzaku feel guilty. He couldn't pick out what it was, exactly, but it made his chest (his heart? No, that was silly) ache.
A silence that was far less comfortable than the one Suzaku interrupted before fell between them. Lelouch had his head pointedly turned away from him, his cheeks still a light shade of red, and Suzaku couldn't help but sigh at the perfectly good atmosphere he'd wrecked.
There was only one way to solve the problem, and Suzaku was not too proud as to disregard it. He was already wearing a dress on a daily basis, and just the previous evening he'd been all but forced to kiss the man next to him in front of a dinner table full of guests; a little display of affection like this wouldn't kill him. It wasn't as if Lelouch's hand on him felt bad, it had just been kind of... weird, unexpected since they were essentially alone (the carriage driver didn't count, as he didn't seem to be paying attention to them and sat far enough in front of them to not pick up the few words whispered between the pair).
Before he could convince himself not to, Suzaku sidled up beside Lelouch and reached out, taking a hold of his hand without a word and returning it to its earlier perch on his thigh.
Lelouch's head turned towards him, once again blushing full-force. "Suzako—"
"Don't say anything," Suzaku interjected quickly.
Thus, the ride continued in silence.
And Suzaku didn't know when it happened, or which one of them did it, but somehow their fingers ended up interlaced. Suzaku did not mention it, and thankfully Lelouch didn't either. When they did finally dismount from the carriage later that afternoon their hands were still adjoined.
Suzaku had to hand it to Lelouch; he did know how to treat a girl to a memorable date. And even though he wasn't a woman, he was still impressed (so impressed, that maybe he was even a bit resentful, that Lelouch could do such things for a date if he wanted to). A romantic carriage ride through the park and downtown, followed by a late lunch/early dinner at an upscale restaurant, at which he was told he could order anything he liked.
He stared at the menu uncertainly, not knowing what half of the dishes even were since they were listed in French and also a little bit put off by the large numbers next to each of them. "Are you sure?" he asked, frowning. There was no way he could allow Lelouch to pay for him, not when every item on the menu was so expensive. Even the side dishes were in the double-digits. Lelouch could afford it, he knew, but still... Suzaku would have rather they ate somewhere less ritzy, that had meals he could actually pronounce.
"I wouldn't offer if I wasn't sure," Lelouch pointed out with an over-dramatic roll of the eyes. "Pick whatever you want."
Suzaku could hardly believe that these words were coming from Lelouch. He'd been so arrogant before, and now he seemed like an entirely different person. Was it because they were in public? No, even when they were alone in the buggy Lelouch had been acting different. Suzaku couldn't say he minded the change – Lelouch was actually agreeable for once, and Suzaku found he was enjoying being in his company – but still... he had to wonder the sudden cause for it.
"Lelouch." Suzaku set his menu down, frustrated that he couldn't make sense of anything but the prices. "Can you... order something for me?"
Lelouch tilted his head to the side, brows furrowed slightly in confusion. Then it dawned on him and he gave an apologetic smile. "What kind of food do you like? I'll try and find something similar." His eyes scanned the hors d'oeuvres of his own menu. "To start, there's escargot, gougeres..."
Suzaku waved one of his hands to stop him. "I'm not too picky, anything's fine. Just so long as it's not expensive."
...Lelouch seemed to take that as a blow to his ego – like Suzaku was insinuating he couldn't afford it. So when the waiter came around, he proceeded to order the most expensive items he could find for both himself and his date.
Still as egotistical as ever. Green eyes glared at Lelouch from across the table, any thoughts that he had changed disappearing from Suzaku's mind.
"You're a jerk, you know that?"
Affronted, Lelouch adjusted the lapels of his suit and matched the intensity of Suzaku's gaze with his own. "Don't insult the man buying your dinner, Suzako. I'm trying to be kind."
Snorting, Suzaku crossed his arms over his chest in a way that didn't make him appear very ladylike at all. "You're not being kind; you're showing off!" Lelouch only smirked, and Suzaku then realized why Kallen's dislike for him was so great. Pompous little prick... Well, forget it, he wasn't about to give in and stroke Lelouch's ego. Abruptly, Suzaku stood up from the table. "Fine. Order whatever snooty dish you want. I'm getting some air before I completely lose my appetite."
He walked briskly away from the table, not stopping even as he heard Lelouch calling out his fake name.
The restaurant had two levels, the upper level connected to a balcony that gave a wonderful view of the town at sunset. Sadly, Suzaku wasn't in the mood to enjoy it. He leaned against the railing overlooking the town, wishing he could get out of the dress he was wearing. It felt so stifling all of the sudden, and the wig made his scalp itch like crazy.
At the other end of the balcony there was a band playing slow music. Beside them, a dance floor where several couples had already gathered. Suzaku eyed them with what may have been envy. They all looked so carefree and in love... Suzaku's lifestyle didn't exactly allow him much time for romance, not with all the work he had to do to take care of Kaguya's health. And now he was in this pretend relationship with Lelouch... he couldn't exactly go out in search of his soul mate while dressed as a woman.
But still... Suzaku sighed loudly, closing his eyes. Wouldn't it be nice to fall in love? To find that person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with?
"What's a pretty lady like you doing out here by yourself?"
Emerald eyes snapped open at the sound of the familiar voice, Suzaku quickly turning around to face someone he neither expected nor wanted to see.
Dr. Bradley...?
He was about to say the name out loud, but then he remembered that, as Suzako, he was not supposed to know who this man was. So instead he feigned a look of bewilderment, taking a step away from him as he asked, "excuse me, but... do I know you?"
Bradley shook his head, wearing the same lecherous smirk as when he'd suggested the other methods through which Suzaku could pay him for Kaguya's medicine. "No," he answered honestly, taking hold of Suzaku's wrist and guiding it to his mouth. Suzaku grimaced as the palm of his hand was kissed in what may have been a gentlemanly fashion, had it been done by anyone else. "However... I would like to get to know you, miss."
"A-ah, I..." Suzaku wrenched his hand away, cradling it against his chest. He had nowhere to run to; Bradley had him cornered against the balcony. "I don't think my fiancé would approve of me getting to know another man," he said, hoping the mention of a fiancé would deter Bradley. It didn't. Of course it didn't; this was Bradley he was talking to.
"Fiancé?" he repeated, taking a quick glance of their surroundings. "I don't see your fiancé anywhere."
"He's inside," Suzaku said quickly.
Bradley's eyes glinted in amusement as he caught Suzaku's wrist again and tugged on it gently, pulling the brunette flush against him. "Well, my lady... what he doesn't know won't hurt him."
This was not happening to him! The day had been going so well, and then Lelouch had to bring him to this stupid restaurant – damn him, this was entirely his fault, like every other problem in Suzaku's life. Lelouch and Bradley, were they plotting together to make Suzaku's life miserable or something, because currently they were tied for being the bane of his existence.
If only he didn't have to act like a woman... Suzaku would have been more than happy to give Bradley what he deserved – that being a swift kick in the groin. As it was, he could only struggle weakly against him, the heel of his shoe catching in a crack on the floor and causing him to trip as he tried to take another step away from him and sending him into Bradley's arms instead. Bradley gave a hearty laugh, his lips close to Suzaku's ear. Suzaku shuddered.
"Suzako!"
Suzaku's head jerked upwards, eyes searching frantically over Bradley's shoulder to find Lelouch standing at the entrance of the balcony. There was an expression on his face that Suzaku had never seen before, and Suzaku didn't know if he dared to label it as what it looked like... jealousy.
With a glare on his face that made Suzaku a bit nervous Lelouch stalked over to the pair, grabbed hold of Bradley's elbow and forcefully shoved him back.
"You don't get to touch her."
The rough edge to Lelouch's voice sent a pleasant chill racing down Suzaku's spine. He sounded... he sounded dangerous. Suzaku had never before pictured Lelouch as capable of hurting anyone – he seemed far too weak for such a thing – but at that moment... Lelouch looked nearly ready to kill... and for Suzaku.
An annoyed scowl appeared on Bradley's face; he looked the new arrival up and down, as if gauging whether or not he was a threat, before seeming to decide that he wasn't. "Oh? And who are you to tell me this?"
Lelouch encircled a possessive arm around Suzaku's waist, drawing him closer. Unbidden, a blush rose to Suzaku's cheeks and he tilted his head downward, hoping the strands of his wig blocked it.
"I'm her lover."
Lover.
It sounded so... intimate. Why would Lelouch choose that, above fiancée? Fiancée Suzaku could handle hearing as something to describe the relationship they forged. But lover... that was much more personal. Suzaku... Suzaku...
... Suzaku liked the sound of it.
"Let's go."
Before Suzaku even realized, he was being led away from Bradley and towards the dance floor.
"Forgive me." Bradley's voice made Suzaku stop in his tracks. Lelouch glanced down at him, frowning. "The lady looked so lonely, not at all like a woman in love."
Suzaku's body froze up for a moment, the comment for some reason making his chest ache again – like it had in the carriage, when he Lelouch had looked so depressed.
"I..." What was the matter with him today? He needed to get a hold of himself, needed to remind himself that this was just Lelouch, a man who created nothing but problems for him, a man he felt nothing but irritation towards. "You're mistaken."
His arm moved up Lelouch's torso, fingers fanning out over his chest. Suzaku met Bradley's gaze evenly, determined – determined about what?
"I love this man."
"I'm sorry."
Suzaku turned his head to the side, eyes locking on Lelouch's face. He regarded him curiously. Neither of them had said anything to each other after the incident with Bradley; they'd gone back inside, Lelouch quickly paying for the meal and requesting had their food put in boxes so they could bring it with them. Afterward, they walked to a nearby park to eat before their dinners became completely cold. It was quiet, rather secluded, lit only by high streetlamps. They sat across from each other, just as they had in the restaurant, eating silently.
Setting his fork down, Suzaku asked, "For what?"
A rueful smile appeared on Lelouch's face. "Bringing you to that restaurant. I guess I really was just showing off."
With a scoff Suzaku stabbed another piece of meat with his fork. "I told you so."
"I wanted to impress you."
The annoyed expression faltered, Suzaku's green eyes widening. "...Why?"
Lelouch shook his head and closed the lid of his to-go box, apparently finished even though half of the food remained untouched. "I don't know." His eyes lowered slightly. A blush suddenly flourished on his cheeks and he looked away again, coughing loudly. "Your dress is riding up."
Suzaku quickly directed his attention downwards. Indeed his dress had ridden up, exposing more than a decent amount of his upper thigh. He adjusted the material, muttering something about Rakshata and the inappropriate length of her dresses under his breath.
Silence threatened to reign again, but Suzaku kept it from doing so this time around as something caught his attention.
"Do you hear that?"
Lelouch's brow furrowed, as it tended to do whenever he was puzzled. He leaned closer to Suzaku. "Hear what?"
Suzaku rose to his feet, facing the direction he believed the noise to be coming from. "It's music."
Lelouch stood as well, walking over to Suzaku but still unable to hear anything. "Suzako, I can't—"
"It's this way! Come on!"
"O-oi, Suzako!" Lelouch sputtered as Suzaku grabbed him by the arm and began to run in the direction he'd been staring. "What are you doing!"
Their to-go boxes were left behind, Suzaku all but dragging Lelouch across the park until they reached a divide that separated the Britannian (wealthy) part of town from the ghetto where most of the Numbers lived.
"Suzako..." There was uncertainty in Lelouch's voice. He'd probably never crossed over the divide before – not that Suzaku could blame him; if he'd grown up in a huge mansion, he would probably never care to enter the ghetto either.
"Come on!"
"But Suzako—!"
Lelouch's protests fell on deaf ears, Suzaku crossing the invisible boundary between the two halves of the city and catching Lelouch's gaze expectantly, waiting for him to do the same. There was a hint of apprehension in the way Lelouch stood there, eyeing the ground, and for a moment Suzaku didn't think he would join him. Then, he felt a hand sliding into his own, Lelouch heaving a sigh as he stepped forward.
His heart was beating loudly, so loudly that Suzaku wouldn't be surprised if Lelouch could hear it next to him.
What was going on? Lelouch... why was Lelouch making him feel this way?
They followed the sound of drums, which Lelouch could hear now that they were so much closer, down a dirt path that led out of the main park and to a small square paved in cement, at the corner of which stood an old wooden pergola where a band played. The music was upbeat, and before the band couples danced together or clapped along in time to it.
Suzaku was mildly surprised at the amount of people gathered in the small area, and he felt a little bad for Lelouch, the only Britannian among them and not at ease with the ratio. He almost felt guilty, forcing Lelouch to along when he knew he would be the only non-Number there. Even so, it wasn't right for Lelouch to go on thinking that the only people in the world were the other wealthy purebreds he spent his entire life around. If he wanted to pretend to marry a minority just to get under his mother's skin, then Suzaku only thought it right that Lelouch actually spent time around them to see what they were really like.
People stared at them – even at Suzaku, a fellow Number – oddly as they entered further into the square, some glaring and others puzzled. Suzaku disregarded them. These were his own people; there was no reason to be uncertain of himself. Yet he still felt that way as he continued forward, feeling eyes boring into the back of his head. He stopped midway to the crowd of dancers, lowering his head, second-guessing himself. Maybe they shouldn't have come... They didn't belong here, not when they were dressed like this – it was almost as if they were flaunting the fact that they had such nice things to wear, while these people – Suzaku knew from experience – had nothing of the sort.
"Suzako..."
Suzaku lifted his gaze to meet Lelouch's, and was taken aback by the tenderness he found in those normally apathetic amethyst eyes. Hastily Suzaku averted his eyes and retreated, taking a step back from him, apologizing under his breath as he did so. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have insisted we come here. I just—"
Lelouch caught him by the upper arm and spun him back around as he tried to turn away. "Suzako," he said again, more firmly this time. He was closer than Suzaku remembered him being just seconds ago, and when he spoke Suzaku could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over his cheek. "Did you... want to dance?"
All the noise of the world seemed to fade out of existence as Lelouch's fingers curled around his wrist, raising it to his lips and kissing the palm just as Bradley had done earlier that evening. Suzaku's face heated up, but he said nothing, not even as Lelouch gave his hand a gentle tug and began to walk them closer to the dance floor.
They stood amidst the twirling couples, their stillness odd among all the movement, and it took several seconds for Suzaku to realize that Lelouch didn't know how to lead them. The only dancing he was familiar with was formalized, ballroom-style dancing, and this... this was very different; with no rules to abide by, Lelouch was at a loss as to what to do, how to start.
"Here." Suzaku decided to help him out, taking Lelouch's hands and bringing one to rest on his hip while keeping a firm hold on the other. "Hold me like this."
Lelouch nodded his head, a light blush on his cheeks, his embarrassment mirrored in Suzaku's own expression. He couldn't believe he was actually doing this, but Lelouch had offered, and the music was so inviting... There wasn't any harm in it, Suzaku told himself as he took a step back, bringing Lelouch with him.
"Now move. However you want, it doesn't matter. Just don't stop."
And Suzaku said this only because it would cause a train wreck if they stopped in the midst of all the other dancers, not because he liked the feel of Lelouch's hands on him.
Lelouch's eyes were radiant in the moonlight. Suzaku found himself unable to tear his gaze away, soon losing focus of the dancing as he got caught up in them, so he was unprepared when Lelouch, in one swift movement, daringly spun him out and then back in; he tripped on his own feet, not for the first time that evening, and ungracefully lurched forward with an undignified yelp. Lelouch caught him easily, but Suzaku's full body weight seemed too much for him to support and he fell backwards, bringing Suzaku down with him.
Everything was a blur. One moment, he was falling down, hearing a grunt from Lelouch as they connected with the floor, and the next...
The next, there were a pair of full lips pressed against his own, kissing the very breath out of him. And it didn't even register that it was Lelouch kissing him until he spoke, whispering a fake name against Suzaku's mouth.
"Suzako..."
Suzaku didn't even care if it wasn't his real name; didn't care what was going on in Lelouch's strange mind to make him kiss him like this, when there was no one to fool or impress, because it felt good – almost too good, and it shouldn't feel this way, not just because it was another man but because it was Lelouch, the same Lelouch that always made him so angry.
Just don't stop.
Suzaku closed his eyes, returning the kiss when he felt Lelouch begin to pull away.
Just don't stop.
Lawli: Yay, more kissing! 8D
People keep asking who's the seme and who's the uke in this story. Honestly, I'm trying to make them equal... though Suzaku is prone to look more like the uke since he's the one crossdressing. I haven't decided yet who's going to top when they smex (if they smex).
Thanks for reading, see you next time!
Oh, and if you see any typos please let me know! They tend to slip right past my eyes...