The Sims Challenge: Learn the Logic Skill (500) Prompt: (task) Describe someone as being clever or logical.

Bad Movie Tuesdays: [dialogue] "I don't understand a thing you're saying." Underwear Model

Halloween Collection: (location) Abandoned House (non-specific)

Musical Showtunes Challenge: - Popular - Write about a conceited character

Chocolate Frog Challenge - (Bronze): Mooncalf - Challenge: Incorporate the full moon into your story, without using werewolves.

Speed Drabble: "Hello, you beautiful thing", seduction, "Stop it, please"

Blame Firefly for the pick-up lines ;)

Pick-Up Lines

Sirius Black leaned against the wall in the garden of the abandoned house. People had finally began showing up, and James was running around like a headless chicken... though he claimed to be the headless horseman.

Something to do with impressing Lily, apparently. Though Sirius wasn't as stupid as James liked to believe - he was there when Regulus was talking about it being one of his favourite books.

He liked the garden - there were mirrors set up out there - and he could fix his make-up.

Stupid James for picking up a woman's pirate costume instead of a man's, but Sirius could make it work. The dress was strangely comfortable and hugged his body perfectly.

He could hear the music inside and he put the make-up away and headed inside. He needed to get drunk if he was going to survive the knowledge that James and Regulus would be upstairs, fucking, at some point.

Four beers in and Sirius watched a tall man approach, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Sirius moved the bottle away from his mouth, his gaze slowly moving down the man's body.

Perfect.

"Oi, what are you supposed to be?" Sirius called, realising it was a perfect way to break the ice.

Amber eyes met his and Sirius decided he was in love. A shy smile followed. "I'm a vampire."

"Where's your cape?"

"No vampire in this day and age would be seen in a cape," the guy replied with a cheeky smile, moving closer to Sirius. "So… are you here alone?"

"My mate organised this," Sirius replied. "He's probably in one of the bedrooms, shagging my little brother."

"Tough," the guy said, sympathetically. "I'm Remus."

"I'm Sirius."

"Sirius?"

"You might want to remember it now, because you'll be screaming it later!"

"Oh, are you that scary?" Remus asked.

Sirius gaped at him for a second. It was a great pickup line.

"Like… in the bedroom," Sirius clarified.

Remus looked blank and Sirius decided to try again.

"I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!"

"Oh, is that what your costume is?" Remus asked, taking the beer from Sirius' hand and bringing it to his lips. Sirius was slightly lost. People usually got his pickup lines.

No-one had missed them before like Remus. But Sirius wasn't one to give up.

"You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?"

Remus looked puzzled at the words. "I don't understand a thing you're saying," Remus admitted. "I don't want any whipped cream, I have nothing to go with it."

Sirius excused himself for a minute, telling Remus to stay right there and headed to the bathroom.

...oOo…

After a quick pep-talk to the mirror and an quick adjustment of make-up, he headed back to the kitchen, finding Remus standing where he had left him.

Perfect.

Hello, you beautiful thing," he murmured, moving closer to Remus. He was treated to a dazzling smile in return.

"Hi… uh…"

"Sirius," Sirius replied. Remus hadn't even remembered his name - that was disappointing!

"Sirius," Remus said softly. "I knew that."

Sirius decided to let it slide.

"Has anyone ever told you that you have eyes like spanners. When I look into them, my nuts tighten."

"Spanners?" Remus replied. "I can see why someone would say that about you -"

Sirius smiled. Maybe Remus got it after all.

"- since your eyes are grey."

Nope. Perhaps not. Still, Sirius wasn't one to give up.

"Remus, listen to me carefully," Sirius said, shifting closer to him, and giving his most seductive smile - the smile that usually had guys doing whatever he asked of them. "I like you - in fact, I like every bone in your body. Especially mine."

He watched Remus carefully, and Remus stared back.

Was he getting it?

"Thank you," Remus replied, taking a sip of his beer. "Calcium is good for bones! I drink a lot of milk."

"You can't be serious," Sirius whimpered. "I've used my best lines, Remus. "Am I annoying you?"

"Not at all!" The shy smile was back and Sirius was determined to give it one last try. Remus was just too adorable and Sirius had the urge to corrupt him.

"If I'm a pain in your ass… We can just add more lube."

There was a long silence.

"You're not being a pain -" Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Stop it, please," he sighed, before pulling out a packet of cigarettes and walked towards the back door. It swung shut behind him as he left, and he walked down to the wall by the back of the garden.

As he stood facing the wall, trying to block the wind from putting out the flame from his lighter, he found hands gripping his waist. The lighter fell to the ground, and Sirius felt his body firmly meet the wall.

"You know," came a soft voice that made Sirius shiver. "I'm jealous of your dress. It gets to touch your body instead of me. As for whipped cream, I tend to prefer chocolate myself."

Something pressed against Sirius' arse. "Now, Regulus has told me a lot about you, Sirius. In fact, he told me I was just your type and brought me so he could set us up. I admit I've been messing with you. I'm actually quite clever, even if I didn't seem it back there. I must admit you're too much fun to mess with!"

"Then why -"

"Sirius, I'm still talking," Remus whispered, pulling away slightly. Sirius quickly shut his mouth again.

"You're coming home with me, Sirius," Remus murmured into his ear. "And you better not have plans for this weekend either, because you're not leaving until Sunday. I've no plans of kicking you out of bed in the morning, unless it's to fuck you on the floor."

Remus gave Sirius space to turn to face him. The shy smile was on his lips, completely at odds with the dirty words leaving his mouth.

"Now,my dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?" Remus asked.

Sirius nodded his head, eagerly following Remus out of the side gate and from the party.