His gaze rested on her for the upneath time that evening. Alicia and Lenora were preparing dinner. Since his arrival back home only a week ago, the atmosphere between Alicia and Nora had been altered. They respected each other, Alicia stood her ground with her, and for the first time, Nora refrained from answering back with an icy comeback. Things had changed. He didn't want to think about it, but he was aware that she had her fair share of relationships with boys that weren't nearly as considered to be men for her, she also had her fair share of love sick puppies who, more or less found themselves in a compromising position with Will catching them throwing stones in the direction of her bedroom window.

The notion that she could possibly be experiencing sexual relations made him wince, he tensed and shuddered at the simple thought of it, he did not want to be a grandfather yet, but he knew what ran through a teenagers mind nowadays and living under the knowledge that his daughter was the same age as she was when he and Alicia were doing things, was not easing his mind.

He knew that under the curiosity, he had more things to worry about. Like his marriage for starters. He now wished that there were words to place into a category where Alicia would understand without being defensive. He also wished that he could read her mind, he thought he knew his wife; she was his soulmate, and soulmate's were supposed read each other's minds without hesitancy, that had vanished somewhat years ago, and he had only recognized it now.

There were woman in Washington. Beautiful, intelligent woman, who all more or less chose to ignore the fact that he had a ring on his finger. A ring that he often stayed up at night staring at, trying to comprehend how his wife had gotten to the point of ignoring his calls.

He tried to ignore the notion that it had been months since they shared intimacy, and he was aware that part of that was his fault; he was the individual to ignore her for two months in the same household after finding that she had kissed Peter Florrick. He regretted his decision now; because it's only brought him to a point where it was Alicia's turn to give up. She was the driving force within their marriage, and without her input, life wasn't worth living any more than it was eighteen years ago when he found out that she was engaged to another man.

He would be lying if he had pointed out that Finn hadn't entered his mind at all in the last month whilst he was away, he knew that he and Alicia still exchanged letters at least once a year. The last he had heard, Finn had married some woman from New York and were having babies. Will wondered what would have happened if Alicia had married him instead, would they have had kids? Would she have been happy with him?

He didn't want to think about it, and he didn't think of himself as a selfish person, but his blood tensed at the thought that somebody else could make her happy just as he had once done.

He watched in silence with intensity as his family interacted on the dinner table. He knew from the sound of his phone vibrating in the kitchen that he should answer, but the rules were the rules, technology was forbidden at the dinner table. His mind blocked out the conversation, and the laughter. All that could come to his mind was the visual communication he established between them. Alicia was laughing with Zach, Lenora and Grace were debating across the table, Lenora said something that made Alicia burst into laughter once again, and made Zach shrug his sister by the shoulder.

He swallowed the thick ball behind his throat as he took a bite of Alicia's casserole, followed by taking a sip of wine, his gaze returned back to his family. They were talking now, Alicia was listening intently to Grace's story, whilst Zach and Nora were throwing food at each other's faces. He was aware that he should probably interfere, but he couldn't find himself to speak. Alicia managed to snap them out of it, her attention returned back to Grace, until her gaze met his.

She stared at him for several seconds, her brows began to furrow with curiosity, she mouthed a 'What's wrong?' and he just smiled and shrugged in responds. Waving it off.

She stared at him, almost suspiciously for several seconds, it was enough for him to consider the possibility that she really did care and he wasn't just hallucinating. Her attention returned back to the kids, she smiled at something Zach said. He loved that his children were brilliant and intellectual in every way just like their mother. His adoration grew and grew as he watched them grow and develop each day, he often acknowledged with appreciation the fact that his children held his wife's personality and not his. Her gentleness, but feisty nature, he knew that she was only ever gentle around her closest friends and loved ones, but in the courtroom and office it was a different story. He often wondered how it would go if she ever accepted his invitation and worked at Lockhart Gardner. His gaze went from the kids faces to Alicia's, he still had to remind himself that the ring she held on her finger was his, but knowing that it was becoming more and more of an illusion, he felt helpless.

Later that evening, he sat on the porch with a cup of hot chocolate in his hand, his thoughts wondered back to the beginning. He knew Alicia was loyal, the photos in his briefcase his private investigator provided was his own remote evidence. He recalled back in high school when they were once known as inseparable, he knew from the moment they first met he wanted her. And once they had dated, he knew that there wasn't another person on earth who could drive him into insanity. They had come so far and yet, now he felt so far away.

"You are going to catch a cold if you stay out here any longer." Her voice sounded behind him, Alicia began to sit a few metres away from him, hugging the blanket to her chest. The length of space between him was an obvious sign that nothing had really changed between them over the last week since he had been home.

"I'm used to the cold. I hadn't realized until I actually spent enough time in DC that it was similar to the North Pole."

"Yes, winter time is the worst."

"Is something going on with Lenora?" his question seemed to have taken her off guard.

He watched as she went into defence mode. "What? No.. What do you mean?"

He felt his brows crease at her sudden turn off. "She seems different? Is it just me or did something happen between you guys when I was away?"

He noted the way her gaze went from his to the lake, as if she were intentionally ignoring him. "No.. I mean, she grew up. She's reaching that age."

He felt himself nodding, taking in everything with context. He remembered Alicia mentioning that to him years ago when they were young and free, one evening, when they were supposed to be watching Aubrey but instead found themselves locked in his bedroom, she had told him that he was the first boy she had ever loved, and that in the months they had dated, she had change, she had always been afraid of it, but with him, it was exciting to know that she had reached the point of full maturity. He remembered that night because it made him happy, to know that he meant that much to her.

There was a long silence between them for several minutes, he sat back taking everything in. This was the first that they had allowed themselves to sit quietly without the need for an argument, or tension to rise. It was peaceful, and at the same time overwhelming. How had it been months of voidance and disagreements? How could they have let anything interfere between their wall of love? How had they reached a point where none of them cared anymore? How had he allowed his ego and pride to get the better of him.

"Will" the call of his name coming from her voice brought him back to life, he raised a brow in her direction, her gaze rested firmly on the ground.

"Yes?'

"What did you do in Washington?"

"What?"

"What did you do, other than work."

"Nothing." He said, because it was the truth. "I did what I told you I had to do, I worked to the point where my desk was my pillow"

"So you just… Worked? You didn't do anything else, like go out?"

"What would have been the point?"

"You were in a city – a large city for that matter- surely you did stuff."

"Does grocery shopping count?"

"You're not telling me you just slaved around the office all day."

"I don't think there's any other way to describe it. Unless you want details?"

"Not exactly." She sighed. "I just thought.. I don't know, did you make friends?"

"Yes. But most were fans of the Yankees, it was awkward with the Orioles and everything…"

She laughed quietly to herself. "Yeah. It must have been tough to have a boss whose employees were all New Yorkers living in DC."

"Orioles deserved the win though Leesh, you know they did."

"I'm not going to get into this argument with you Will." She laughed once again, her laughter was like music to his ears, it immediately erased the weight that was on his shoulders. He felt himself stuck in timelessness as he tried to grasp away from how her beauty truly affected him. She was smiling to herself, and biting her lip as she shook her head.

"Mom?" A voice sounded from behind, turning, he saw that Grace stood in her nightgown.

"Hey pumpkin, What are you doing up so late?"

The ten year old gradually made her way towards them, surveying her parents with scrutiny, before accepting Alicia's invitation of cuddles.

"I couldn't sleep. What are you doing out here? It's cold."

"Dad and I were just having hot chocolate. Want some?"

She offered her mug, before he could really register what he was doing, he got up and pressed a kiss against Graces head. "I'll make some more."

Grace was sitting on the bench when he felt Alicia's presence in the room, Grace's laughter made him smile as he fed her a spoon of melted chocolate. The time on the clock read 11:35. He knew that at some point Alicia would eventually interfere and order Grace to bed, she had consumed enough chocolate in that evening, and he could almost feel as though his wife was wincing at the thought of it.

Finding her figure, she stood beside the sliding door, the same blanket wrapped around her as she stared at him. His breath caught in his throat at her beauty, she looked so peaceful and yet, vulnerable; face void of makeup, barefooted, with striped silk pyjamas, he missed it, he missed this sight while away. He missed her.

His gaze returned back to Grace, and seemingly shook his head at what he had created. A half an hour earlier he had been intent on simply making her a cup of hot coco, the ten year old had managed to persuade him in making the best midnight treat, and therefore he was no longer the man who could order two hundred associates to do what he pleased, but he was the man who took orders from his ten ear old daughter at midnight.

"That's enough chocolate for you miss." Alicia approached, he had been waiting for her to object, and he could sense that Grace was too, but surprisingly Alicia allowed them to experience enough fun that could last a lifetime; unfortunately, she refused to be a part of it, something that was foreign until now.

"But we were just getting started." Grace pouted, Alicia kissed her cheek while stroking her hair.

"Bedtime." The order was firm and not worth the debate.

Grace sighed, Will set her off the counter and hugged her to him, her scent smelt of his wife's shampoo. They both watched from a distance as their youngest ran off upstairs, leaving the room to cater with silence.

"Mind if I try some?" she smiled, taking the spoon from his hand, she dipped it into the pot of hot melted chocolate and rested it in her mouth. She closed her eyes and licked her lips; the room was dark, there was lack of detail, but he couldn't take his eyes off her.

"Nice." She nodded in approval. "I forgot how much of a sweet tooth you have."

"Don't eat all of it." He smirked, taking the spoon from her hand, he lifted himself another serving and this time placed it in his mouth.

"You're right. It does taste good."

She raised her brow, "I never said that?"

"Really? Your expressing told otherwise."

"Can I have the rest?"

"As long as you brush your teeth afterwards."

"What are you? the tooth fairy?"

"Don't give me any strange ideas." He smiled when she giggled, glad that he had managed to do something right.

They sat in silence for several minutes, taking in the atmosphere of the moon shining down on the waters from a far. The silence wasn't awkward like it always was, but he was confident that they had accomplished something today, he also knew that if she wasn't going to let him in, he would have to open the doors of confrontation himself.

"You asked me what I did, back in DC." He began, she nodded in response, brows puzzled. "I thought of nothing but you." he admitted.

She stepped back from him and shook her head. "Will.."

"Just listen to me okay? I know things have been rough between us Alicia, and there was a time I treated you like scum but I had my reasons; I am not trying to justify my excuses but I was mad, I was mad that you had found comfort with somebody else, and that you preferred to talk with Peter about your problems than with me." He watched as she sighed and moved towards the direction of the sink as she began to wash her hands.

"We used to be.. in each others pockets, you and I were united. When did that change?"

"It changed when you started working till midnight and I started going to sleep alone. It changed when the kids started growing faster, it changed after you accused me of having an affair with Peter Florrick and our entire marriage went downhill when you decided to move to DC for a month."

In another universe, more like a month ago, they would have been screaming each other's heads off, but oddly, each word she had pronounce was gentle and quiet, but it still managed to hit him twice in the chest. Before he could respond, she shook her head. "Look Will… I don't wanna argue or even talk about it right now.. It isn't your fault that we are in this position, it takes two in a marriage, and nobody ever said that it would be easy."

He felt himself nodding, knowing that she was right because he had analysed it himself more than a few times over the past month. "I'm tired Will. I'm tired and I'm exhausted over everything. Can we just drop the conversation for now?"

Even though he found himself completely disagreeing, he nodded anyway. "Okay."

The sound of her short breaths outdone the room, he wasn't sure if it were his own ears that held a problem, or if she was breathing heavy intentionally. He glanced over at her sleeping form, her head laid back on the pillow as she slept, her face in the direction of his, he turned on his side and silently watched her sleep. He was aware that she was totally unconscious, but he had the strange idea that if he said it than somehow she would know.

"No matter what, even if someday you do leave me. I'll always love you."

He sighed, even In his own unreasonable state of mind, he knew that he was being silly. Turning back on his side, his eyes settled on the night stand from his pillow, he didn't want to think about the chance of her leaving him, but sometimes the elements of possibilities often had to be weighed, and he was a lawyer, therefore he overthought everything.

He felt himself drifting off, his eyes were heavy with exhaustion when he felt fingers lace in his hair, followed by the soft feel of her hand running down his back. He was sure that he was dreaming until he heard her sigh. Turning on his back, he found her eyes open and that she looked truly upset.

"I thought you were asleep?"

"Why would you ever think that I would leave you?" she demanded

He shrugged, "I don't know." That wasn't the truth, but he wasn't prepared to say it out loud. "I'm sorry." He added when he noticed her shoulders sag.

He was sure that she wasn't even aware of what she was doing when she cupped his face and brought his lips to hers. He could feel the one tear that fell off her eye onto his cheek. He held her tight when she gripped him against her body and dug her face into the crook of his shoulder. She inhaled deeply. "Just don't say stuff like that okay? Ever. It hurts."

AN; So i hope you all enjoyed both chapters. And no, i havent lost my muse completely, just uni and sport taking over everything.. also, can someone please explain to me this weeks episode? Alicia went from being SA to having no firm and no office to return to... whhaaatt