Chapter IX
Life in the office was getting boring. Mustang hated to work on his so called paper work that Risa always 'had' to give him.
Just as he was starting to contemplate burning the pile again, Roy could just make out a series of voice coming from outside his window.
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"Come-on Edward!" a voice whined. "It's only a fair."
"No, I am not going to some stupid fair!" a young male voice seemed to argue. "I have other more important things to do other than listen to your stupid prattle about how cute your daughter is or as to what to do in some dumb fair!"
"Then I take it you've only gone to the fairs at your hometown?" the first voice proclaimed.
"Hughes, what's that got to do with it?" the second voice complained.
"This fair is a LOT different than those plain old country fairs," exclaimed Hughes. "There are different pavilions that show off various produces, companies and displays. Also there are games, tests of skills and other various ways to have fun."
"So? What has that got to do with guarding that stupid Cyclops or searching for the philosopher's stone?" the voice proclaimed with an annoyed air.
"Absolutely nothing!" Hughes voice had proclaimed loudly in a happy voice. "Let's go."
Then, before the second voice could say anything, there was a sound of someone being dragged.
"Oh and did I mention that I was also going to bring my little darling sweet daughter along?" the voice of Hughes added as it faded off into the background in amongst the screaming of 'NO!' coming from Edward.
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Looking outside, Mustang quickly spotted Fullmetal being dragged away by a certain family loving lunatic.
But just as he was about to bring his head back inside, he noticed something out of place in the parade grounds.
There seemed to be a fair amount of rocks littering it in various places. (1)
It was then he decided to begin another watch of the compound. Only this time, not for looking out for females walking around but for anything that may contribute to the mysterious rock collecting.
Heck any excuse to get out of paperwork.
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At that particular moment, a certain train had just pulled up; breaks screeching and clouds of smoke being dispersed in the air.
As the passengers disembarked, a young lady with blonde hair and a white summer dress carrying a medium sized suitcase walked off.
While the said lady was looking every inch the beautiful woman, she was also holding a air of being a tad… boyish.
And, it seemed that something was getting up her just a tad upset. This could also be the reason as to why she quickly pulled out of her suitcase a metre long spanner that demanded instant respect.
As the terminal patrons gave this woman a wide berth, it was plainly clear that 'no one' wanted to upset this particular young lady.
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"Edo-Nii-Chan!" came a young girls scream as a certain long suffering alchemist was being dragged by Major Hughes into his home so that they could pick up his little girl.
Forcing a smile on his face, Edward turned towards the little girl who was being carried by her doddering father.
"Yes Elisa?" asked Ed gingerly.
"You wanna green drink when we get there?" the little girl asked curiously.
"Of course he would want a green drink just like you dear," smiled Hughes at his daughter; he then turned to face Edward with an evil glare as if daring Ed to cross him. "Wouldn't you Edward!"
"Uhhh! Sure I would love to have some with you," Ed stammered very quickly. "Just one question…,"
"Of course," the now smiling Major replied.
"What is this 'Green Drink'?" queried Edward.
"Oh it is just a milkshake that is green," Maes replied smiling with his very happy daughter.
"Milkshake … as in … milk?" Ed asked wide-eyed. "As in coming from the aft end of a cow?"
"That's right and it's green because it is flavoured with a peppermint or spearmint flavouring which is green," explained Hughes to the pale alchemist. "And you are going to enjoy it, are you not?" (2)
Edward started to shrink back at the Major's words which was veiled with a most deadly threat and the disgust of the thought of drinking that horrid white stuff called milk as they continued to walk towards the 'impending doom!"
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Once at the fair, Ed actually had to admit to enjoying the carnival. But he was going to be damned if he let anybody find out about it!
There where all sorts of things going on at once.
He could see various things going on around the place, from haunted houses to toffee apple stands. Everything was a mix of colourful sights, interesting and different smells and that of normal to strange noises.
It was just so… so... different.
It was also when he finally got to meet this strange person from the same world as that perverted book-loving bastard.
And unfortunately, he just had to enter the same contest that Armstrong just 'SO' had to enter as well.
That only left one thing on all of the surrounding crowd's minds….
"Oh lord come and save us!"
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"Come one! Come all!" the contest manager yelled loudly over the crowd. "Dare you face the wondered rivals of strength? Do you dare show the world as to how well you have trained in life?" (3)
"Are you going to join in, Fullmetal," a large deep sounding voice asked gracefully.
Sweat drops formed on Ed's face. "Oh no! Please don't let it be him… Please oh Kami-sama… please don't let it be him!" he mumbled as he turned his head shakily.
As the small alchemist turned around, a very large man in military clothes came into his vision; A man with only one tuff of hair on his head covered in those annoying sparkles.
"I'm doomed!" groaned Edward with a woebegone expression.
"Come now child!" the irksome Major called out happily. "Don't you want to see me show of as to how muscular and perfect that I am?"
"Yosh! And that person will be I!" a voice cried out as a puff of smoke blew out suddenly showing a green spandex wearing, bowl haircut and orange legging man who was pulling a most ridiculous pose. "I the Great Green Beast of Konoha... I Maito Gai shall challenge you!"
"YARGHH!!! Not another one!" screamed Edward as he cringed badly.
"Everyone, do you hear that! We have finally got someone to go against the Strong-arm alchemist!" the contest manager yelled out. "Gather round and witness the spectacular contest of muscles... strength and of course the natural beauty of man!"
Edward started to turn white as he attempted to try and run away; only to be caught and held in a death grip by Major Armstrong.
"Come now Fullmetal. Come watch as I dominate the field against this misguided individual," sparkled the Major.
"Humph! It is I who shall triumph!" crowed the one called Gai while pulling another bad pose.
All around this, the crowd that was previously passing by stopped to watch the scene unfolding.
Edward looked around for Major Hughes but the man was no longer there and neither was his daughter and the first thought that went through Fullmetal's head was...
-You bastard Hughes! Take me with you!-
Forced against his will, Edward was made to watch the two gung-ho lunatics pose one after the other.
Each pose brought out more sparkles than the next.
The crowd that had stopped to watch were horrified and stuck to the spot watching the two 'fight' in a battle of poses and sparkles.
And the more they 'duelled', the more sparkles became evident.
In the background, children were heard screaming as the surrounding crowd started to take on soul-less and demented expressions of pure fright. One child was even heard calling out to their Mommy.
"Mommy... Make them stop! Please make them stop Mommy!" the upset child called out.
Even the contest manager was stuck with a horrid expression of disbelief at the two of the contestants.
The maniacal contest of madness finally came to a halt after a stunned green clad Gai admitted defeat to the muscle bound Major.
The crowd erupted in cheers at the news. Not because it had finally procured a winner, but because it was finally over.
"You win this time! But next time I shall win!" the green clad lunatic proclaimed loudly before disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
As the crowd 'ran for the hills', Edward was also looking for somewhere to escape to quickly before the Strong-arm Alchemist found him again.
Just as he was about to make a run for it, Major Hughes showed up with a contingent of armed soldiers.
"Where is the green warrior?" demanded Maes. "Don't tell me he got away again!"
"He fought valiantly, but I prevailed against him," laughed Armstrong happily, his sparkles at maximum.
Hughes turned his head to try and deflect the sparkles, with little success.
"Ed, did you see where he went?" asked Major Hughes.
"No, the bastard disappeared just like that pervert book loving Cyclops can," explained Edward angrily while glaring blazing daggers of doom at the muscle bound Major.
"Well, you'd better return to base as I'm sure that the Colonel would like a report as to what has been going on down here," stated Hughes as he turned to direct his troops to explore the surrounding area for clues; grumbling non stop about fire starting Colonels and brainless deranged morons who had no reason to exist the entire time.
As Ed was about to leave, Hughes quickly ran up and handed him a cup of something. The smell coming from it was sickly sweet.
"What is this?" enquired Edward.
"Green milkshake," smiled the Major innocently. "Elisia was concerned that you might not have had one. So there you go and enjoy."
As Major Hughes left, he started to snicker at Ed as he started to rant on how he was not going to drink the juice of some freshly squeezed cow.
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Meanwhile, a certain Gate Alchemist was furious at his holy warrior. The stupid oaf just had to go into that stupid contest.
To make matters worse, all the warrior had done afterwards was run around the city on his hands... twice.
His patience gone, the Gate Alchemist was already planning for another 'Gate' and this time he was determined to make it work!
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1 – Just so you know. Parade grounds are supposed to remain spotless and have an even ground so that the commanders on their podiums can better view their soldiers performances. (Unless there has been another alchemist duel… dread the thought. )
2 – I was trying to think of something harmless that little Elisa could use to torment poor Ed with, when I remembered how my nephew would always demand to the shop assistants that would be making him a milkshake that he would want a 'green drink' as that one always looked the best colour. (It's amazing at how many shop assistants look at you when you ask for it.)
3 - A long time past in outback Australia it was common to find carnivals where the contestants would try and out-do the carnival's contests of strength... (The contest where just normally that of boxing challenges.) I just sort of changed the setting a little bit to suit the stories need.
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Authors Note:
Hello everyone. I'm back again and I am sorry for the wait. You see I've been kinda busy.
But I'll give you some good news first.
I just got myself a new job that pays quite well and that I don't have to travel over an hour to get to! Ain't that great! (But I've been sorta stuck doing a lot of night-shifts at the moment which are quite long, so the majority of the days have been spent sleeping or trying to get my sleeping pattern to an almost normal routine, which has been a small nightmare at the moment.)
Another reason as to why I've been having trouble trying to update is because one of the main computers in the household had decided to play funny buggers, and to make matters worse it was the one that my family use to hook up to the internet. (Joy ain't it.)
Our main computer just kept on breaking down. You see one of our 'lovely' neighbours thought that it would be okay to send over a message via the internet asking us a question… Let's just say that said messages also contained a very nasty computer virus which infected my sister computer so badly that she had to reboot and reprogram her computer. (Probably a good thing that she is a computer programmer wouldn't you say?)
Another reason is that my family recently came across a Magpie chick that has fallen out of its nest; a Magpie is a bird native to Australia with black and white markings. Known for it aggressive tendencies when it is nesting. (These birds have been known to poke the eyes out of people if they do not head their warnings. TRUE!)
The only way we know of over here to stop them from swooping is to 'try' and befriend them… Hence some people feed them bribes. (So to speak.) It's amazing what a little food can do to befriend a flock of birds.
(I have my own hungry clan that demand food every day.. Tora)
My family are currently spending a fair bit of time trying to get the poor little girl (Yes it is a female Magpie.) strong enough to fly off with her family which still come around. (The baby Magpie's father actually helps us to feed her still when we leave her outside under close watch from cats.) But she is starting to come into her real feathers and is proving to be a bit of a sook. (It will be sad to see her go, but she has to rejoin her family group.)
Also as a bit of weird note to it. I have just recently been having to have to go to the dentist a fair bit. You see my family's teeth are like chalk and as such do break very easily. We've broken them on all sorts of stuff… potato crisps, minties, (Those suckers actually break/pull out our teeth as such we are banned from eating those lollies and others like them!) soft chewing gum and in my case soggy spring rolls! (Hey I'm not joking either; I swear my family have been paying for the dentist's Porsche.)
Lately I've been in so much pain from it that I've been living off both the drugs and trips to the dentist. (Which means that I have to work twice as hard: to survive the dental bills!)
But the main reasons as to WHY I haven't updated for sooo long is because of something that I had to do as a committee member of my anime club.
Yes, we had to ban someone from attending. (No, I won't say as to why just that they had broken our 'code of conduct'… Repeatedly and even to the point of bringing weapons into the hall!)
Plus I was worried that the repercussions would have hurt or angered my beta and her family; as said person that my club had banned, lived with them.
(All is fine now... Tora)
So in my little world of 'not wanting to cause any more further upsets' I kept away.
Besides according to said person, I had 'betrayed' everyone's trust and abused my rights as both a friend and committee member of my club. (You should have heard some of the 'lovely' Note the sarcasm messages this person sent me!)
This person then proceeded to run around and spread false rumours around. (Oh well it has been sorted out. But said person is still spouting stupid things about others now.)
So you can tell I've had a very busy time at the moment. What with work, family, the local wildlife, anime club and banned person. Oh well gotta go now. Take it easy everyone and sorry again for the late update.
Please don't shoot me (or the beta! haha.. Tora) and I will try and get the next chapter out soon! With the 'WRENCH OF DOOM' looming over my head from you lot waiting for the next chapter, I dare not make it as late as this one has been!