A/N: I haznew update? Why yes! It is new! So um, read and review. This story finally surpassed my Tenten story with hits AND reviews AND favs AND alerts! The only thing it's lacking is C2 adds. I'm so proud of this story! hearts

My head was buried into the pillow with the covers thrown over my head. "No, I feel sick," I mumbled as my mother told me to get out of bed once more.

The knocking got louder. "SAKURA! I highly doubt you are sick. You were just fine yesterday morning!"

"It hit me when I got to school. I just don't feel well enough to go," I whined quietly, trying to make my voice as scratchy as possible. I heard my mother grumble and walk off. I threw the covers off from my head, and took a deep breath.

There was no way in hell that I was going to school today. Not after…

I felt like crying, but over the course of yesterday I had run out of tears. There was nothing in me that could spill salty water down my face anymore. I was cried-out.

So I was just left with the feeling, which had manifested itself in the core of my being. It ached constantly, burning my insides horribly.

I really felt sick.

Just not the kind of sick they let me get out of school for.

My mother walked in the door with a thermometer in hand. "Open," she commanded. I opened my mouth, knowing full well that my temperature would be just fine.

About a minute later, the annoying beeping sound came from the device in my mouth.

"It looks like your temperature is normal, honey. You're not sick."

I groaned. "It's not my head, mom… It's my everything else that hurts." She sighed, obviously getting annoyed with my antics. It's not my fault my ex screwed me over, you know? But of course, I wasn't going to tell her this. That would be incredibly insane.

So I just sat there, trying to convince her that I truly was sick. I needed to convince her.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, my mother probably trying to figure out why on Earth I was trying to stay home, sick, when we both knew I wasn't.

"Okay, I'll let you stay home. Obviously you believe you have a good reason for doing this, so I'm going to trust you on this. But, Sakura, if this becomes a habit, I will schedule a session with you. I'm not kidding." I just nodded, and rolled back over in my bed. I heard the door shut as my mother left.

Seconds later, I could hear a muffled conversation between my father and my mother. I had to guess at some of the unhearable gaps, but I got the gist pretty quick.

"I'm not sure what's wrong."

"She's not usually like this."

"I know."

"I'm staring to worry… I mean, yesterday, she locked herself in her room and didn't come out. Now, she's skipping school."

"Maybe there's a test she's skipping."

"Maybe something happened with that Uchiha boy. Or maybe Shikamaru and Sakura had a fight."

I flinched as I heard my mother said his name. My insides lit up once again, and I began to tremble, my eyes searching for those drops of hot, salty water.

20-some minutes later, I hear the cars start. I'm not sure what happened between then and now, but I'm guessing I fell into another depressed sleep. I peeked out of my window to make sure they were both pulling out of the driveway and leaving me behind before I even bothered to think about getting up.

Truthfully, I wanted to sit in my bed for all eternity, staring at my empty, blank, nothing ceiling. I wanted to fade into the cotton sheets and disappear into the world of inanimate objects. I didn't want to think. I didn't want to move. I just lay there, listlessly staring.

The only thing running through my head was what he had said. What he had lied about, to everyone. By now, the whole school knew me as the girl who tried to kill someone. As the slut who slept with everyone.

And they saw him as the poor, innocent victim. Of course, some people would be on my side, I guess. Ino, Shikamaru, Chouji, maybe Temari or Tenten. Temari would actually probably want to stay with Karin…

Even thinking her name made my heart get heavy one more.

It felt like I was going to throw up every time I started to feel hurt like this, but I knew it was just the 'sickness' coming over me. It didn't help much.

If someone could see me right now, I wouldn't doubt they would describe me as dead or catatonic.

I continued to stare at the ceiling, feeling the emptiness associated with too much pain.

I was lost.

I was hurt.

I wanted to feel anger; to be strong about this. He cheated on me! I should be furious! But no, I was just… broken. I shouldn't let him get to me like this, but for me, there was no other choice. I couldn't stop myself from feeling this way.

Slowly, my depressed non-thoughts filled my head, drowning me in sorrow. I closed my eyes, tears slowly leaking out of them. I couldn't go back. There was no way I would ever be accepted again. They were going to stare.

I didn't know if there was every a day that I would go back to that school and not be labeled a slut. I didn't know if I could ever feel the way every kid should; I didn't know if I could ever go back there and feel normal.

No tomorrow.

My depressed now-thoughts had me slowly drifting back into the dark sleep that I experienced last night.

I was back in school, walking through the halls, my head down. They were all whispering again. But this time, it was like they didn't even see me. They didn't really see I was there. They were talking about me, I guessed, but none of them looked at me.

I guess they didn't need to. I spotted Shikamaru, his back turned to me, talking to Ino. They looked older, somehow. It occurred to me that everyone looked older.

"And so then, I was like, 'Uh-huh'. It gets so old when she talks. It's like she never really has anything to say anymore. You think she'd get out of this by now, but what-the-hell-ever." Shikamaru laughed at Ino's expression.

"You two used to be close. You can't find anything?"

Ino sighed. "Nope! It's like all she can do is sit there. And mumble. It's just sad."

I watched in horror as Shikamaru leaned down and gave Ino a kiss. My heart felt like it was ripping open again. I felt like the world was closing in on me. As they pulled apart, Ino was smiling. "Eventually she'll get over it. And if she doesn't, we'll be in college soon enough. Come on, kiddo, lets go."

And they shut their lockers, and walked off, Shikamaru's arm around Ino's shoulder. I watched them disappear into the blur of people. All I could do was stand there and stare, feeling numb.

It hit me.

I knew why they were older. I knew why everyone was older! I knew why they were leaving for college. They had left me behind.

I was the girl, the one that had lost everything.

They just left me. I started to get a panic-y, sad feeling. If they were older, I was older, right? I had to be in my own future! I began to run, looking in every classroom for a sign of me. It was hard to distinguish someone from everyone else; they all blurred together.

In one group, I saw Sasuke, his arm draped over some new girl, Karin having graduated last year. He was talking, and everyone was hanging on his every word. He was still god in human flesh. His hand moved around the girl's chest, and she just blushed. I wouldn't doubt she slept with him like Karin did. Like he old everyone I did.

I couldn't take it anymore

Finally, I came to a classroom. It was mostly empty, because the bell had yet to ring. I recognized the teacher as the man who taught remedial English to juniors and seniors. Maybe he had gotten a different teaching position! That was it… There was no way I was in remedial English.

But I knew I was wrong. As I stared at the girl, the one with the soulless eyes, I couldn't help but feel that this wasn't me. But I knew it was; she was in black and white. My eyes looked dull gray, and my hair was hanging limply around my face. She sat there, chin propped up on my desk, staring at the floor.

This girl, older me, looked pitiful. There was no other way to say it. She even was depressing colors.

And what's worse, she obviously had no friends. If she did, if I did, I wouldn't be sitting in this class so soon, all by myself.

Alone.

The man looked over at the girl. "Sakura, did you ever finish Hamlet?"

She shook her head, not even looking up at him. He just sighed.

I stared at her as she continued to stare at the ground. It felt like an eternity in a second. Time must have passed, because the bell rang, and people started to file into the room. They all phased through me. They didn't even look at her.

Even the people who sat near her didn't even notice her. The guy in front of her dropped his book bag on her foot. She didn't say a word. He didn't, either.

They acknowledged neither Sakura in this room. It was almost as if their eyes passed right through her. Like she wasn't there.

And I guessed, after months of being known as the slut and slowly losing all of her friends, she wasn't there. She was gone. That person was just an empty shell.

Suddenly, that empty shell looked right at me. She stared, I stared back.

She mouthed the words "Help me."

And then it was gone. I woke up crying, my heart thudding painfully in my chest. I felt the longing to help her, to save me from myself, but I also felt trapped. Trapped in this misery.

Everyone will grow to hate me. I will grow to hate me. Fuck, I already hate me! The tears, which seemed to replenish themselves after my dream, came out more quickly than before.

They old me that I hated myself more than I hated him. What if I had just broken up with him when I found out! When did I have to try this plan? Why did I even go out with him in the first place?

My fault, all my fault. A small part of me was smart enough to hate Sasuke, but the rest of me was not following suit.

Was I forever ruined? Was I going to live the rest of my life here, nothing more than a memory to a few people who knew me as I once was and not by my slut status?

I couldn't bear it. I was not going to live my life as the cheater, was I?

Soon enough, the tears stopped flowing, and I began to feel that emptiness take over me once more. My heart thudded painfully in my chest. My insides felt sickeningly warm. I wanted to throw up.

I wanted to die.

As a doctor, my mom dealt with a lot of kids who tried suicide. She would always tell them that they weren't failures, and that everyone would miss them after they were gone. Most of the time, people believed her, and after a few months in the mental health ward, they were normal again.

One child, though, had apparently told her that they were such a failure, they couldn't even end their life right.

I used to think that was a terrible mentality, and I felt so sorry for that kid. I mean, why would they ever want to stop and give up like that in the first place? And to consider yourself such a failure as to think that their life being spared was just another mess up…

I hadn't understood it until now.

Now, I understood what a life as a failure would be like. A life as an empty shell. That was my life.

Has Sasuke's rumor really killed me this much?

I went back into a whirlwind of thought. People, ideas, and images rushed in and out of my brain.

Suddenly, it all stopped. I made it stop. I couldn't take the thought. I just let myself die on the inside. It was easir that way. I stayed like that for hours, completely empty.

I was still on top of my bed at around 12, when my phone started to thud on my nightstand. I looked over at it. It only buzzed once.

I had a new text message.

Oh, joy.

I slowly reached for me phone, still dead to myself. The text icon appeared on the front screen, and I flipped it open, only to see a text from Ino.

I clicked 'View.'

Sakura, where are u? u cant give up this easily every1 is talkin, but if u were here, theyd believe u. now they think ur chicken

After a few seconds of staring at it, I hit reply.

They're all right. I'm a failure. I'm chicken. I hate myself too much to come.

Sent.

Ino would probably be worried after that message. Usually, when she sent me texts, she'd complain that I was the only one in the world who actually texted whole words and put periods and shit.

But I think she'll be more worried about the content than the style.

Another buzz. I flipped the phone.

View.

Sakura, NO!! u cant do this ur a fighter. U need 2 FIGHT HIM! Its not ur fault hes a dick. This whole rumor is NOT UR FAULT!

I chose to ignore it.

She sent me another one.

I deleted it. I didn't want to hear any more about this rumor, or another pep talk about fighting it. Sasuke had won. Sasuke will always win. There was nothing I could do about it. I couldn't help my dream Sakura. I would be just as empty as her.

My pain numbed, and I continued to stare at the ceiling.

I was a cheater. Might as well get used to it.

I don't know how much time passed. It didn't feel very long, only a few minutes, but my phone buzzed again. I flipped it open. It was from Shikamaru, dated at 3:05pm.

I hit view once more.

I'm coming over to see you.

Reply.

NO.

Sent.

Buzz.

View.

Yes.

I didn't reply to that one. If he was so set on coming to see me in this pitiful state, then let him. I don't care. Maybe, if he sees how disgusting I look, all holed up in here, he'll hate me, he'll move on and find a new best friend to take my place. Maybe Yuki, his crush, or Ino, his oldest friend in the world.

And no matter how much it would kill me to know that I drove him away, it would help me become empty and numb to the world.

God, it sounds like I'm pregnant or got raped or something.

I couldn't figure out why I was so depressed over this whole Sasuke thing. But I was. It hurt that my first boyfriend cheated on me. It hurt that Shikamaru liked another guy. And it hurt that my whole highschool thought I was a cheater.

It was probably all of that, crammed into one, small amount of time that did this to me. It was all of that that was making me fall apart.

And it was this combination of realizing that my boyfriend cheated on me, my crush only liking me as a friend, and being known as a cheater for the rest of highschool that made me want to crawl up in a hole and die. All of that, plus Karin being an ass, Temari most likely lying, Shikamaru getting in an accident, blaming myself, forgetting to come visit him, and every thing else in the world that was making me do this.

Lets face it, I was horribly depressed, with no really good reason. I could say it was all of that, but not even all of that would lead to this, right? And if it did…

Depression sucks. I let my mind go numb after that thought, sitting on my bed for God knows how long.

I heard Shikamaru arrive. He turned off his car, and knocked on the door. I didn't bother getting up.

"Sakura!" I didn't bother answering. Maybe if I was quiet, he'd leave me to my wallowing.

No such luck. He actually knew where we kept the spare key, and he came in. I lay on my bed.

Should I throw the covers over my body to pretend like I was asleep? Nah, he wouldn't believe that. I heard him walk up the stairs, and I tried to think of something to do that would make him give up. But the thinking was too much. I couldn't stand it.

I just left myself drift into nothingness again.

He pushed on my door, and it opened. I could feel his gaze on me, taking in my bed ridden form. "Sakura, have you been sitting in bed like that all damn day?"

I didn't say a word. I didn't even nod.

"Geezus, child, you can't do this to yourself. This isn't you fault. Heck, it's not even true. So what that Sasuke started a rumor about you? No one will believe it anyway."

"Did they believe it today?"

My sudden question made him uncomfortable. I knew what the truthful answer was. Yes, of course they had talked about it.

"And did he make it worse?"

Again, silence.

Sasuke's last girlfriend had left because Sasuke not only started one rumor, oh no. He made a whole hoard of them. The poor girl couldn't escape anything. Too bad I hadn't really known his track record before I stared dating him. Too bad I didn't believe anyone when they tried to tell me what it was.

I had thought he was sooooo cool, but really, he was just a jerk. That didn't make me feel any les responsible, though.

"Sakura, you can't hide in your room forever." His voice was quiet, and when I moved my eyes to look at him, he was staring at the floor.

"No, I guess not. But I can at least live part of it here."

"You have to come back to school."

"I could be homeschooled, you know."

"You can't give up on the situation!"

"Watch me!" For the first time today, the sadness was replaced by anger. Of course, it just had to be directed at Shikamaru.

"NO! I will NOT let you waste away your life because some asshole decided to make you into his next horror story! You can't do this to me Sakura! You can't do this to Ino, or your mom, or anyone! You can't give up on us! So what if Sasuke turned out to be a jerk? There are other… guys…" He voice lost all of it's strength at the end of that little rant. I looked back over at him. He was still staring at the floor.

"You can't give up on yourself like this," he said, speaking quietly once more.

I just sat there, my gaze returning to the ceiling.

"You'll give up on me eventually, Shikamaru. You'll leave me behind, and I'll just be empty." I was thinking of my dream again.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"Nothing."

Silence ensued.

And more silence.

"Look, Sakura, you can't just sty up here. You can't let him get you down."

"I was planning on going to school tomorrow, actually. If I can handle it." It was either that or going to a session with my mom. Unless I could make myself get sick…

"You can. You're a strong girl."

I continued to stare at the ceiling, choosing to be completely silent. I don't know how long it took him to leave, but eventually he did. Yet again, I was left alone. If I continued to be depressed like this, I really would be all alone. That would suck.

Eventually, my parents got home. My father usually got home before my mother did, but today, they arrived at almost the same time. As one was getting out of their car, the other got home. I didn't know who got home first. I didn't want to look out my window and see.

My mother was the first once to walk up to my room, though. It was about an hour later, and she was carrying a bowl of soup.

"Sakura, honey, Inarie told me what happened." Inarie was Ino's mother; that whole family seemed to have an obsession with I names.

"Look, I know this must be hard on you. I can't believe that he would do something like this…" She set the soup on my bedside table, and sat down on my bed. I could see that this was hard for her. I'd like to think she didn't like the thought of her daughter being hurt in this way.

"I understand why you've chosen to cut yourself off from the world, but you cannot do that. You can't live the rest of your life in this room. But I don't know if I can allow you to go back to that highschool. What if, after this rumor, he decides to try and rape you? Who knows. I don't want you back there." Huh. Leave it to my mom to think Sasuke would actually want me back.

"Your father and I had a good talk about it. He doesn't want you there, either. But we can't teach you from home… We won't be here."

I just sat there.

"So, we decided upon an option, and talked it over. We even talked it over with the person involved. They think it's a good idea, as well."

Oh shit. I did not like where this was going.

"We think it's a good idea for you to go live with your uncle Jiraiya."

A/N: Oooooooooooh. Ehehehehehheheehe. KAYSO I NEED OPINIONS: I want Naruto and Sai to make a much bigger appearance in this story when Sakura moves. But as they've already been mentioned, it seems kind of cheap to have them in it again. Sai was barely mentioned... SO: Would you guys want to see more Sakura/Sai/Naruto interaction, or should I bring in a whole fleet of OCs? It's up to you. If you want Naruto and Sai there, I'm pretty sure I can come up with a way to get Naruto there... IF YOU GUYS DON'T THINK IT'S STUPID. And don't worry about the ShikaSaku! It's coming! There was a hint for it in this angst ridden chapter, as well. Notice: "You can't do this to me, Sakura!" It hurts him to see her like this, too. LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE

So um... review with your vote? Sai and Naruto or not?