risingdancer: Thank you- well, Clarisse is in a very complicated position here, I´m trying to create the image that on the one hand she loves Rupert as her good friend and companion and feels great compassion and tenderness towards him, on the other hand there is Josef towards whom she feels a strong attraction but her relationship with him is still not deep enough to let it interfere with her relationship with Rupert, she feels more sorry for Josef than for herself, she has a crush on him or if she would think about it properly she´d find it´s even more and she instinctively acts on it from time to time and then she feels guilty about keeping his hopes up- well, you´ll see in the next part. And no, Josef didn´t see them or anything but she´ll tell him, not on purpose but it´ll distress her that she has such a bad conscience- here is more now :D
addlogcon: Thank you very much- more R/C soon! :)
tabby-fan: Aw, thank you- sure, I´ll do that- hehe, little girls, aren´t they sweet- well, she does speak of him very fondly and I can´t believe that their marriage always has been bad, I think they were fairly happy under, though I think there is too much tension between the queen and Josef to think they only recently discovered their attraction- I make everyone I meet who hasn´t seen the movie watch it ;) and actually everyone who watches the first one asks something like ´how long has this been going on, do you get to know in the second movieand that´s how it looks for me as well, so even though I like writing Rupert and Clarisse´s marriage functional I think conflicts between Josef and Clarisse still work well in that constellation- I´m very glad you enjoy it so much and yes, I LOVE Pierre, how can you NOT fall in love with him on that portrait in the throne room ;) Tabby- fanny like Tabby cat or something else? Hehe, just curiosity!
Captain Weirdo: Thank you- ohhhhh, really?? That´s great, I´d so LOVE to read that, hope you´ll post it sometime soon! :D Well, she has the same reaction I always have when my Mum or Dad or whoever starts telling stories about me as a baby... You know, it´s annoying... So more to come now!
Clarisse tried to disentangle herself from her husband´s arms, causing him to groan in protest.
"Don´t-" he was still half asleep and Clarisse smiled, amused.
"Darling, I have to get up, we have a baby to take care of."
She gently but firmly pulled Rupert´s arms away from her waist and sat up, reaching for her nightshirt and pulling it on, then she opened the door to the nursery and closed it again behind her.
Amelia was was crying softly and Clarisse picked the little girl up and gently rocked her.
"I´m here, Darling, don´t cry."
She carried Mia over to the changing table and started to change the baby´s diaper while talking soothingly to her granddaughter who quickly calmed down again now that she was being comforted after having woken up in these unfamiliar surroundings.
Clarisse rocked the small princess back to sleep, softly singing her a lullaby and then she put Mia back into her bed and carefully tugged her in.
"Sweet dreams, Darling" she whispered, then she tiptoed back over to the door and slipped back into her bedroom.
Rupert had fallen asleep again and for a moment the queen watched her husband´s face, he never looked so relaxed when he was awake.
Deciding that she wouldn´t be able to sleep again straight away she stepped into her walk- in- closet and reached for a robe, pulling it on and knotting the sash.
She made her way out of her suite and down the corridor, then she walked down the steps into the entrance hall.
"Your Majesty?"
She looked up at the sound of Josef´s voice.
"Josef- why aren´t you asleep?"
"I could ask you the same question."
He, too, was wearing a robe over his pajamas and now fell into step next to her.
"I assume you are on your way to the kitchen?"
The queen nodded.
"But of course I am- I suppose you as well?"
"I thought some warm milk would help me sleep- how is the princess, has she woken you up?"
"Just once, she´s a really uncomplicated child, nothing like my boys, Rupert didn´t even wake up."
She immediately wished she could take back her words and she looked up at Josef whose face had darkened.
"Josef, I´m sorry, I- I shouldn´t have said that."
"Why not?"
His voice sounded cheerful, a little too much so and Clarisse knew she had hurt him, of course she had, it was perfectly obvious that he was in love with her, however much he tried to hide it and she as good as told him that she had spend the night with her husband.
It sounded ridiculous that she felt the need to apologize to him for it but if she was honest with herself she had to admit that she owed him that, she relied on him in a way she had no right to, not when she intended to simply remain a friend.
She kept smiling at him in that special way, kissing his cheek and allowing him to comfort her when she was upset, she let him in on her secret worries and wishes, it was not fair but she depended on him.
"I shouldn´t have said it because I know that it hurt you and you don´t deserve to be hurt- especially not by me."
He didn´t answer, instead he held the kitchen door open for her and and the queen stepped through it and into the dimply lit room.
"Just milk or are you hungry too?"
She asked, walking over to the fridge.
"You don´t have to-" "Oh don´t be silly, Josef, it won´t exactly overtax me to warm up some milk."
Clarisse put a pot with milk onto the stove and took a tin with freshly baked cookies from the kitchen counter.
"About what I said-" "Madam, please- it´s none of my business."
"You just called me Madam and you try to tell me that everything is all right?"
"I don´t know what you are talking about" he replied, avoiding his gaze.
"Damn it, Josef, you are so stubborn sometimes."
Clarisse turned away from him, she couldn´t look at him and see the hurt in his eyes.
"What do you expect me to say? Would it make a difference if I told you to stop talking about your marriage? Would you tell him to keep out of your bedroom? Would you leave him?"
Clarisse turned around abruptly.
"You know I couldn´t- this is just-" "Ridiculous? I know it is- so tell me, why should I make an effort to talk to you about this? It´s so much easier and more comfortable to simply smile and pretend, enjoy the small pieces of affection you throw my way, the smiles, if it´s a good day a hand on my arm or my shoulder, if it´s a great day a kiss on the cheek- it´s all I can ever expect from you and somehow it has to be enough, so please don´t make it even more difficult and let us just talk about something different."
His words shocked her, she had a way to make things between Josef and her even worse.
"Please, Clarisse?"
The sound of her name from his lips, spoken in such a pleading tone made her heart even heavier but she nodded.
"Of course, Josef."
--
To her relief Clarisse found her husband still asleep when she got back to her rooms.
It was near dawn already and even though the queen was tired she knew there was no way she would manage to go back to sleep, the conversation she had had with Josef was still replaying in her head, so she got dressed instead of going back to bed.
She walked over into the nursery and sat down in the rocking chair next to Mia´s bed, watching as the sky outside changed from inky blue to grey and then to a pinkish glow until finally the sun started to rise and the little princess woke up in her bed.
"Good morning, Darling" Clarisse cooed, picking the baby up.
"Time for breakfast, don´t you think?"
Mia still looked drowsy as Clarisse carried her down the corridors towards the kitchen, praying that she wouldn´t meet Josef there, she couldn´t look him in the eyes right now.
The kitchen was empty except for the cook who was preparing breakfast for the staff and the royal family and greeted her respectfully, smiling warmly as he watched her fuss over her granddaughter.
"What would you like for breakfast, Your Majesty?"
"Just some toast and tea, tank you, Paul."
"Not at all, Your Majesty."
The kitchen door opened again and Clarisse stifled a sigh when Josef entered the room.
"Good morning, Your Majesty- hello, Paul."
"Hey, Joe."
The cook smield at the Head of security, then walked over into the storage room and Josef turned to the queen.
"You havn´t gone back to bed?"
She shook her head.
"I couldn´t have slept anyway, so I waited for Amelia to wake up- I take it that you havn´t been to bed, either."
He shook his head as he poured himself a cup of coffee from the coffee machine Paul obviously had turned on earlier.
"I have been outside for a run, it´s a very nice, clear morning."
"I´m sure it is- I think I´ll go for a walk with Mia after breakfast and then I´ll take her up to Phillippe, he can take her to Rupert´s office with him, maybe they won´t fight so much if she´s there."
"Maybe- you are right though, he has to get used to take care of her eventually."
"Yes, he does indeed, he is positively terrified of being alone with her."
Amelia tugged at Clarisse´s string of pearls, obviously she felt as though she wasn´t getting enough attention and when Clarisse looked down at her the little princess smiled brightly.
"I am sure you will be very happy to be a princess, Darling, everyone will fuss about you wherever you go."
"At least when you are a little older, right now they prefer to fuss about your grandmother" Josef added as he offered the little girl another spoon of baby food.
Clarisse watched in silence as her Head of Security fed her granddaughter, unable to stop herself from thinking what a wonderful father Josef would have made, hadn´t he decided to rather find a wife and raise a family instead of remaining in close proximity to the queen, even though there was no hope that he would ever be more for her than a friend.
Or what if she had met Josef before her marriage to Rupert, she would have married him, perhaps they´d already have grandchildren together then and he would be happy, without the melancholic expression in his eyes- she herself would be making breakfast for them right now instead of waiting for her personal chef to do it for her.
"What are you thinking about?"
His voice made her look up and she sighed when she saw the concern in his eyes.
"Why do you care so much about me, Josef? I´m horrible to you- you said it yourself, I keep giving you hope and then I shatter it again and all because-" Clarisse bit her lip, she mustn´t say another word and to her enormous relief her son choose that precise moment to enter the room and interrupted the conversation.
"Good morning, Mum- hello, Joe."
"Good morning Pierre- have you slept well?"
"More or less, it wasn´t a very long night, I got so upset with Father that I spend most of the night watching old horror movies on TV."
"Charming, Darling- what a lovely way to calm down again."
"It worked though- are you going to take a walk after breakfast?"
"Indeed I am- do you want to accompany me?"
"That would be nice- besides I want to talk to you about Father."
"Of course, Pierre- Josef, are you going to come with us?"
"I don´t think so, Your Majesty, I don´t want to intrude."
"Come on, Joe, you aren´t intruding, you usually were the only one I talked to at all- please?"
Pierre looked pleadingly at his mother´s bodyguard who smiled affectionately back at the young man.
"All right, I´ll come."
Thanks, Joe- I´ll go and say hello to Phillippe before Father locks him into the office, I´ll meet you in the entrance hall."
Clarisse looked after her son as he hurried out of the room, shaking his head.
"Where does he get all his energy from?"
Josef shrugged.
"I have no idea- but he´s always been like that, he never wanted to quit, no matter if it was a game when he was young or sport or a discussion when he was older, he always had to push anyone else to the limit and then he still wanted to continue."
"Yes- he would have made a fine king."
Clarisse sighed while cleaning Mia´s face with a napkin.
"Probably, though I´m not sure if he could have concentrated all his energy on just the one job effectively, he always needs several things to do at once."