A/N: Okay here is another chapter for you all. I really appreciate my team, mamadog93 for her plot idea, ttharman and theonlykyla for the friendship and pre reading for me! An extra special thanks to my beta's Twinstar Junkie and Shadowed by Passion- you two keep me looking good and I know that job is not easy, so thanks, thanks, thanks and even more thanks!

For those of you who read Metal Pointe, after a long wait, we have finally posted another chapter for you. Thanks for the patience with me : ) I still got a lingering cough but I feel a million times better than the last time I posted, the well wishes certainly helped me tons!

Again I am fail at review replies, please know that I read and love every single one you send me. I just run out of time! I'm so sorry, please forgive me!

Playlist: Let Me Down Easy- Saving Jane, Comfortably Numb- Staind, Your Mistake-Sister Hazel, All We'd Ever Need- Lady Antebellum, A Falling Through- Ray Lamontagne, Every Breath You Take- Brooke White

As always there are sets on polyvore to go with this chapter. It is just polyvore dot com and in the search box choose members, and type in bnjwl.

I hope you like it, we are really picking up speed here so hang on!

Chapter 10

The next morning, I left Charlie a note because he was already at work. It was much easier this way because really, how would I explain why Jake and I broke up? What would I say?

Well, Jake's a wolf, and therefore bound by this mystical law. So, he imprinted on someone else and now I'm toast. That was not my story to tell, so I just said that we had broken up, and I was headed off to college early. I would leave all the fine details for Jake to explain. It was his responsibility anyway, since he knew what he could and couldn't share.

For once, it would be nice to just walk away and not have to pick up the pieces. Call me selfish if you want…but I needed this.

I called the student housing phone number, as I pulled out of Forks. After several transfers, I finally spoke with Makenna. She helped me find an available dorm and even put me in touch with a friend of hers on the library staff. It looked like I would have a job and a place to stay when I rolled in; the day just kept getting better and better.

An hour or so into my trip, I got a frantic phone call from Charlie. He wanted to know why I had left so unexpectedly. I explained that Jake and I decided to go our separate ways. That he fell in love with someone that had more in common with him, and I decided to make a clean break.

I was partially honest with Charlie. I told him that 'I was only with Jake because he made me feel normal', and that Jake was 'interested in me'. It was 'never love on my part, at least not a romantic type of love'. I loved him 'like a brother but nothing more'. That was the reason that we never progressed past a kiss or two, not that I told Charlie that part.

Charlie was satisfied with my answers and agreed to let me go as long as I promised to call him often. I agreed and gave a quiet chuckle. It wasn't like he could really stop me anyway.

The last part of my drive, I thought about who I wanted to be there. It was my chance to reinvent myself. No more quiet, mousy Bella Swan. I could be whoever I wanted, because none of these people knew who I was in high school. None of them knew about Edward or the previous goodbyes I'd had in my life. That was the best part of this? No need to explain about things that happened in my past. I could keep it casual and not have to answer those questions.

I turned on the awesome new radio from Emmett and listened to the music. One artist after another played, and as I listened to each one, I contemplated who they were and their personalities. The act would be easy to keep up if I had a role model. I finally decided on a mix of several. I wanted to be a badass, that didn't take any shit; yet was flirty and fun as well. I feared the new me would alienating my new girl friends, I didn't want that either. So in effect, I would be a perfect woman! I wanted to be fun to be around and fun to sleep with.

I took a deep breath when I thought about the sleep with part. In the past, I knew for sure that I wanted sex, but I'd only wanted it with Edward. I wasn't sure I was ready to have sex with anyone else. Maybe I could work up to that, flirt a little first, find someone that didn't turn my stomach; then I would round the bases with them, and have some sex. I knew there was no point in saving myself for Edward, so I might as well just enjoy my life and that included sex.

When I rolled into the dorm parking lot, Makenna was waiting for me. She introduced herself and helped me carry some of my stuff up to the room. After several trips, Makenna asked the question I didn't want to answer. "So, Bella, what's your story, 'cause no one shows up early without a story behind it."

I blew a piece of my hair up and out of my face. I stalled. I just didn't know how much to share or spill, or if I could trust her? Did I want to start out this new adventure with pity from my first potential friend? The answers to both of those questions were hell no, so I was very vague.

"Well, I'm from Forks, small town, very small. I took my chance to get the hell out of there."

She smiled and tossed her long auburn hair. "Well, then let's get your ass dressed, and we'll make sure that you know you're definitely not in Forks by the end of the night!"

I quickly pulled out my suitcases and flipped them open. I ran to the showers, and Makenna pulled out something for me to wear. When I got back, she had my favorite pair of skinny jeans with the rips, a pink satin shirt and lacey pink shoes. The shirt and shoes were obviously Makenna's because they did not belong to me. It was not something I would have normally bought, but to see it all paired together, well, it made me rethink my previous fashion choices. I just might have to do some shopping with that credit card that mom and Phil gave me. I'm sure she wouldn't mind.

We ended up at a little hole in the wall bar, where I used my fake ID. It was amazingly easy to score those on a college campus. They had a three-piece band that played, the music wasn't bad, but the choice of men was even better.

I decided I would start the first part of my new identity tonight, find myself a man, someone that would make me forget but wouldn't break my heart. I had to remember that it was just a casual thing, nothing serious.

I had never drank much before, so I asked the bartender to water down my drinks for me. That way I could drink throughout the night and not get too drunk my first time. She winked at me and handed me the first drink 'on the house'.

Later, I understood her intentions when I caught her as she tried to look down my shirt. I just winked at her and walked away. Her drinks were good, fruity, and I was able to get a good taste of what they were supposed to taste like, but they kept me fairly sober all night. I tipped her well.

I met several people and made some good contacts. It was a good night, no drama, no memories that came back to haunt me. In fact, for the entire night, the name of Edward Cullen never even came to mind. I'd call that a success.

The next day, I had several texts from my new friends and an invite to eat lunch with them. I was thrilled. My routine continued on this way, and Makenna introduced me to several new friends each week. That girl must have known everyone on campus, because we would party almost every night with a new crowd, and needless to say, my ability to hold my alcohol greatly improved. I was a full-fledged college student now.

I spoke to Charlie several times a week but always during the day. I pretended to be the normal, quiet, mainstream daughter that he knew. He was thrilled that I finally lived out my dreams and made sure to let me know that he had a talk with Jake.

"Dad, that was unnecessary, really. We were in two different places in our lives, and it would have ended a few weeks later when I left. Don't be angry at him, I'm not. I really kinda used him after Edward left anyway. He deserved someone who would love him with all of their heart, and that wasn't me. So, don't hate him," I told him after he indulged on what he said to Jake.

I really meant what I said, it wasn't Jake that I hated; I was hurt, because I missed my friend, not because I lost his love. I knew this because with Edward, it was a whole other story, I ached for him. I longed to feel his arms around me, and his mouth move across my own. It definitely was a different kind of pain.

"Well, Bella, you make a valid point, but I just couldn't help but tell him how stupid he was because he let the best girl in all of Forks go. I wasn't too tough on him though." He chuckled, and it held a slightly dark quality, that told me I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall to see what was really said and done when he talked to Jake.

I often worried about the fact that I had not broke down after Jake and I split up. I even called the crisis counseling center here on campus. I explained what happened and my history with goodbyes. They explained to me that each person deals with each goodbye differently. Just because I dealt with one goodbye one way, doesn't mean I would deal with another goodbye exactly the same. They suggested that I had possibly learned and grown between the goodbye with Edward and Jacob. So I was better prepared to deal with Jacob's, and combined with the fact that I admitted that I wasn't in love with him, well I just didn't need to cry over it. They advised that I keep a constant check on myself though, because sometimes, the hurt and anger could manifest itself in other ways, self-destructive ways. I had already ventured down that path, but I knew I was smart enough to handle myself, so therefore, I wasn't worried about things.

I shopped with my credit card, with mom's blessings of course, and Makenna's help. We bought a brand new wardrobe that was college appropriate. Makenna and friends definitely approved. I also purchased myself a pretty tattoo that rests on the right side of my rib cage, and a small stud nose piercing with mom's credit card. Everyone back in Forks would shit their pants if they saw me now. I wore make up and heels every day, my hair was professionally cut and had highlights now.

It was a large tree; half of the tree was bare and the other half was beginning to leaf out. Two blue birds of happiness sat in the tree's branches. Their heads turned up as if they sang their songs out to the world. A small cage sat opened and empty at the bottom the tree. The blue birds were Edward and I. We had each gone away from what we knew, the cage, and branched out to find our happiness, the tree. I only hoped and prayed that he had found his.

I still searched for mine, but I had hoped that one day, my life would be fulfilled.

I had trouble with work. See, it was hard to get there when you were out half the night with your friend's drinking. So, I quit the library and found a job at the bar where we usually hung out. I could hang with my friends and still get paid for it. It seemed like a brilliant idea to me. Besides, I didn't have to be at work until eight at night, and it would be a great schedule when I started my classes in two weeks. I could study and do my homework after class let out, and then I could go to work later that night. I wouldn't work every single night, so I would have more time to work on the in-depth projects. It all sounded like a great plan to me.

The problem was that since I worked nights, and all my new friends worked days, it left me alone frequently. Which ended up leaving me too much time to think, at least until classes started.

I turned on the television and watched daytime TV. I started to smoke, and most days I drank way before five in the afternoon. I withdrew into myself and did not call back home like I promised. In one day, I got four missed calls from Jake and two text messages. I didn't want to miss him; I didn't want to need him. I would not cave in and call him. I promised myself. Instead, I caved in a different way; I went back and got another tattoo.

See, I was of the frame of mind that a tattoo should have a meaning for you, not just be a thing you thought looked cute at the time. So, this time I got a dragonfly.

On the afternoon after Edward had left me, I sat on the window seat in my bedroom. I cried and called out his name. I prayed that he was in the woods and hadn't left Forks yet. A small part of me wanted him to have as much of a hard time with our separation as I did and wanted him to sit somewhere and watch me, to not be able to let me go, either. Each time I cried out his name, a dragonfly came to my window and landed on the sill. He was a blue-ish color with the prettiest green spots on his wings. For two weeks he came around almost daily, I began to talk to him like he was Edward.

So, this was my way to remember Edward and what I had with him. Dave, my tattoo artist, drew it out and filled in each wing with a colorful design. I had him add the initials of each person I felt had bid me goodbye in my life. Dave added a swirl design that curled around the tail and the word 'inspire.' It was to help me to remember that each goodbye inspired something in me and to never stop reaching for something new, even when you are faced with a goodbye.

I hoped it was a lesson I could remember throughout my life.

E/N: Our Bella is sure stepping out on her own now...how long can she hang with this new lifestyle? How long before we see Edward again? All great questions, review and I just might tell you both answers! Evil ain't I?

Till next time...