Hello People! Sorry I didn't update last week; I had an emotional breakdown last week due to some family drama. You see, I had an abusive childhood and forced myself to move on and forget about it, but what I didn't realize was just how many unresolved issue I had from that coping method. So an event happened, and I forced to face all og my childhood trauma at once. But I'm getting better, and I can write again, so it's fine, and I have a major announcement!
Due to EXTREME popular demand, and recent inspiration, I have decided to write a sequel to my Case Closed x One Piece crossover. Don't get too excited people- I still want to finish this crossover first, and I am not writing two big crossovers at the same time. The story's still in the drawing board of my mind, but feel free to ask questions. But remember, the more reviews I get, the faster I update, and the sooner I can publish the sequel.
So review people! The release date of your beloved sequel depends on it! Bwahahaha! But seriously, read, enjoy, review!
Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece or Gintama
It had been a week aboard the floating restaurant Baratie; Gintoki and Shinpachi swore on their graves that they'd get revenge on Kagura for this one day; when they came out of their mini-comas, they found themselves propped up in a standing position, dressed in waiter uniforms, and found themselves being used as coat hangers. After throwing a tantrum by stomping on the coats and throwing them into the ocean, they added another five years to their debt. Shinpachi and Gintoki's jobs were very simple, all they had to do was take orders and wash dishes; Gintoki soon got banned to outside cleaning duty for his rudeness towards the guests and him swiping the desserts for himself. Shinpachi was okay at being a waiter, but he struggled to write the orders fast enough. It was Kagura was having a blast, she was beloved by customers in her maid outfit it was mid-length black maid-outfit with a maid hat and apron. They said their orders slower, invited her to join their meals, some paid for her meals, and she even got off the hook for throwing a man through the wall for touching her leg inappropriately. Yes, only one of them was having a good time.
Gintoki cursed to himself as he swabbed the main deck; closing time was two hours ago, and his job was to clean all the floors of the outside deck along with Kagura's and Shinpachi's help. With her strength and speed, Kagura got her part done instantly; Shinpachi and Gintoki weren't as lucky. Sighing, he continued mopping and enjoyed the feeling of the ocean breeze against his skin until-SMACK! Something hit him in the face. He cursed grabbed the piece of paper out of his face, and proceeded to crumple it up.
"Damage that paper and it'll be your head, perm-boy." Gintoki turned to Zeff staring furiously at him. Raising a brow, Gintoki glanced down at the paper; it was a badly drawn portrait of a blonde man, with a cigarette, and a curly brow. It was a wanted poster of a man named 'Black-Leg Sanji', with a bounty of $77,000,000 beri. "You know this guy?"
"Ah. He's my son." The old chef took the wanted poster from him and posted it back in its proper place. "I raised him in this very restaurant to be the best he could be, he left about four years ago to find the 'Great Blue'."
"Great Blue?"
"It's a section of the ocean in the Grand Line where every species of fish supposedly exists, extinct or not. It's his dream to filet and fry each and every kind, ha ha!" Zeff laughed. "He's a good kid, a lousy chef though."
"Then why let him go?" Gintoki raised a brow.
"Cause. The only way he was going to get better was if he expanded his horizons, his cooking was becoming lazy because he kept preparing the same dish over and over again." Zeff explained. "He was bored, but was foolishly loyal, when the opportunity finally came for him to leave he almost refused it because he actually had the gall to think I couldn't run my own restaurant! Imagine me! The greatest chef in the world! HAHAHA!" Zeff smiled at the poster. "He'll get better in his cooking because he'll keep getting inspired."
"Hm…who'd he end up joining?" Gintoki asked.
"The Strawhat Crew, crew to the future King of the Pirates." Zeff chuckled. "Sanji better damn-well be the world's greatest chef by then."
Next Morning
Gintoki, Shinpachi, and Kagura got up like they normally did at 6am and prepared for the day. They swabbed the decks, set the tables, and cleaned the dishes; yep a completely normal day. Except for the fact that this was day they where they would meet their maker in the form of an angry Vice Admiral.
Vice Admiral Momonga wasn't having a pleasant day, in fact he was furious. He was starving, had been forced into watch duty last night by Kizaru, and still hadn't found those damned Odd-Jobs fugitives! Luckily, he and his crew were close to the famous floating restaurant, Baratie, which by some miracle ended up in their route. So he was ecstatic that his budget allowed him to eat in such a high-quality place, he'd stop by that demand Gecko Island later! Walking into the restaurant, he threw his coat to a waiter and went to take a seat, waiting impatiently for someone to take his order.
Shinpachi, the waiter he threw the coat at, was pale in the face, recognizing Momonga immediately. Very quietly, he went out into the lower to deck to find Gintoki; the damn permhead was taking a nap! "Gin-san!" He whacked the older on the head with his serving tray. "Get up! We've got big trouble!"
"Oi, oi, oi, what are you yelling so much for Shinpachi-kun?" He asked.
"Remember that Navy-guy from Thriller Bark?! He's here in the restaurant!" Shinpachi exclaimed.
"So?"
"So…if he finds us, he'll arrest us and we'll never find that diamond!" The boy exclaimed.
"Oh yeah…who knew a one piece treasure would be so difficult?" The lazy samurai sighed. "Relax, we'll just play it cool until he leaves; all you and Kagura have to do is make sure that he doesn't see your faces, he eats his meal in peace, and we're in the clear."
"True. What about you Gin-san?" Shinpachi asked.
"I'm the outside cleaning person thingy, I'm not allowed to interarct with the customers, remember?" He asked.
"True. All right, leave it to me!" Shinpachi ran back into the rstuatn to find Kagura.
"Damn. Kids have too much energy these days." Gintoki sighed and went back to his nap.
Shinpachi ran back into the restaurant and glanced around for Kagura; to his horror, she had her back turned to Momonga while she was serving another customer. Momonga, who didn't know it was a minor he was hitting on, was enjoying the view of the young lady's back side. The white tights and skirt suited her legs nicely; licking his lips, he reached out to touch the young lady's legs.
When Kagura felt the hand touch her leg, she twitched in annoyance. "Excuse me little lady, how about taking my order; would you happen to be the special today?" Twitching at the horrible pick-up line, she snapped. PUNCH! POW! BOOM!
"What do you think you're touching, damn hentai!" She screeched at him. Shinpachi stood, frozen in place; from the shock and horror at the risk of being exposed. "HAHAHA! You got what deserved damn hentai!" Momonga was bloodied up in the nose, face, and his pupils were rolled back; the man was out cold.
Taking his chance, Shinpachi dashed over to the girl. "Kagura-chan! I need to see you in the kitchen!" Bursting into the kitchen, the staff looked at him in surprise before he shouted, "Quick! Customer down! He might sue!"
DASH! The cooking was staff went out, leaving Shinpachi and KAgura alone. "Kagura-chan listen to me, the man you just punched out was that Navy-bastard we fought on that haunted ship island."
"Really? I thought he disappeared three chapters, weird. You really do have a great memory, Megane." Kagura replied.
"It doesn't matter! We have to keep our faces hidden until after he leaves, otherwise he'll arrest us and we won't be able to find the diamond!" Shinapchi exclaimed.
"Ooooh…so that's why we have to keep it on the download." Kagura nodded.
"Kagura-chan, please don't use such outdated language." Shinpachi sweat-dropped. "But yes, and that means no beating up the guy."
"If it's for Sadahaur No. 29, anything!" Kagura saluted.
"Oh yeah, what ever happened to that bird Kagura-chan?" Shinpachi then realized he actually hadn't seen the bird since they got here.
"I let Sadaharu no 29 fly around for exercise on the roof, but he hasn't come back yet for some reason. I'm starting to get worried about him getting eaten." Kagura explained.
"YOU IDIOT! THAT MEANS YOU LET HIM GO?! THAT MEANS WE'RE HERE FOR NOTHING!" Shinpachi exclaimed.
"But he looked so sad and bored that I had to let him go!" Kagura argued. "Besides…he wouldn't eat any of the food I prepared for him, so…I let him go back to the place where he did eat."
"Kagur-chan…" Shinpachi was astonished at the girl's empathy. "You really miss Sadaharu back home don't you?"
"Yeah. I miss him, the Sadist, my friends, Granny Otose, and everyone else." She explained.
"I see. Well then, we'll have to find the Pirate's Eye diamond even faster then." The boy encouraged.
"YEP! For Sadaharu!" She cheered.
Menawhiel, Momonga finally came around from the blows he received, and he wasn't happy. "Where the hell is that damned waitress?! I demand that she is fired!"
"Well sir, the truth is she's working off a debt, we can't fire her." The biggest assistant said.
"Then make her apologize at least!" The Vice Admiral exclaimed.
"How about a free meal instead? I'm Patty the assistant head-chef. The girl will be on dish duty for the rest of the day, so you won't have to see her face." The large man explained.
"Fine. Give me the lamb-fish filet special and the finest red wine." The Vice Admiral demanded.
"Right away!" He replied. After the cooking staff retreated back into the kitchen, Momonga noted there was one waiter left; feeling impatient he snapped his fingers. The boy stiffened and shuffled to the Vice Admiral awkwardly, trying desperately not to show his face.
"H-How can I help you sir?" The boy asked a deep voice.
"Finest red win you got, and make it snappy." He griped.
"Yes sir!" The poor boy saluted and ran to the kitchen. "Finest red wine please!"
"Here!" Patty passed the bottle to Shinpachi. "Make sure prissy bastard out there gets happy-drunk; should be easier to deal with then."
"H-hai." Shinpachi nodded nervously and went back out. He looked around for Kagura and sighed in relief when he noticed her on the top floor.
"Thanks for waiting, uhhuh! Your order was hard to balance whoops!" Kagura accidentally tilted the tray of food too far backwards, and the food fell…straight onto Momonga's head. Shinpachi sweat-dropped when he noticed fine red wine dripping from the man's head. "Sorry! I'll have towel boy get you a fresh set, uhhuh!"
"Do you even know what the hell that means you imbecile?" Momonga exclaimed, turning his attention upwards. He blinked when he saw Kagura's face, as if trying to place her.
"HERE!" Momonga suddenly found a wine glass being shoved in face. "LET ME POUR FOR YOU! ALSO, HERE'S A FRESH TOWEL FOR YOU TO CLEAN YOUR FACE WITH!" Momonga mumbled and struggled as Shinpachi hastily poured his wine, while forced the cloth to stay on his face. Only when Shinpachi dashed back to the kitchen, did Momonga get to pull the cloth off.
"What in the world is with this damned waiting staff?! Honestly, if I wasn't getting this meal for free…" He growled and started for his wine glass, he drank it calmly; Kagura and Shinpachi watch form a distance behind a pillar in relief.
"Okay, we should be in the clear as long as he doesn't ask for anything else." Shinpachi sighed.
"Yeah. Good thing he didn't ask for an appetizer!" Kagura nodded.
Shinpachi gulped. "Appetizer?"
"WHERE'S MY APPETIZER! WAITER!" Shinpachi once again went into that award pose. "GET ME A CRAB SALAD FOR MY APPETIZER MAKE SURE THERE'S NO LAIT!"
"SURE!" Shinpachi went to kitchen. "CRAB SALAD FREE OF LAIT!"
"Why are you shouting?" One of the chef's asked. "And free of lice?"
"That's what the customer said!" Shinpachi defended.
"Okay, but as a general rule, all of our dishes are free of lice." He handed Shinpachi the salad and the boy zipped of, passing Kagura in her hiding place.
"HERE SIR!" He handed him the crab salad.
"Finally." After taking a few bites of the maynoise-covered salad he actually put a smile on his face. "Wow, leave it to the Baratie to make Lait-free maynoise taste good."
"Lait-free?" Shinpachi repeated.
"Yes. I said Lait-free! One of the only redeeming" GRUMBLE. A loud gurgling noise came from the Vice Admiral's stomach; he suddenly pulled Shinpachi to face him. "This isn't Lait-free is it?" He gridded out, holding his stomach in pain.
"Uh…" Shinpachi was more nervous about his at the moment.
"You don't even know what Lait means, do you?" He growled.
"…Not exactly. It's a parasite found on your head, right?" Shinapchi asked.
"NO YOU IDIOT! LAIT IS FRENCH MORE MILK! I'M LACTOSE-INTOLERANT! WHY WOULD I ORDER A DISH FREE OF LICE?!" Momonga demanded through his intestinal pain. GURGLE! Momonga's face went blue. "I'll deal with you later!" He rushed towards the bathroom and shut himself in.
Kagura ran up to her friend. "Nice Megane! You forced that tight-ass bastard to take a dump!"
"Don't use such language Kagura-chan, you're a young lady." He sighed. "This buys us some time, let's hide out upstairs and have another server help him."
"Oh, I thought you knew Megane; we're the only wait-staff; people keep quitting because of all the violence between the pirates and navy people. Apparently the Navy and the Pirates are pretty tense with each other in this word; fighting over the ocean or something."
"Half of that's probably accurate." Shinapchi said in interest. "Then we have no choice, we have to try get through this meal. But at the rate we're going, we might outlast Momonga-san."
"Un. We have to make sure his meal his flawless, uh-huh." Kagura nodded.
Five minutes later, Momonga emerged from the bathroom a new man; to his relief, the wait staff was nowhere to be found, and it appeared that his salad had been taken away. After checking above and around him, he stepped out of the bathroom and warily went back to his table. The waiting staff may very well be trying to kill him. To his relief, Patty brought out his food, and still no sign of the waiter and waitress from held. "Enjoy your meal sir, everything on the house."
"Thank you." Said the humbled Vice Admiral; the blue streaks in his still showed. After Patty left, he went to savor his meal with his eyes. His fish was beautifully filleted and perfectly cut; the lamb's smell was absolutely heavenly and the chops were arranged in a beautiful circle. To top it off, there were mashed potatoes and peas on the side. After taking a smell, he got his knife and fork and-
"Ah. There's a stain on that tablecloth, let me get that for you." CRASH! Momonga didn't move when the food he was about to dig into was pulled away from him, and fell unceremoniously to the ground. With his mouth still open, he turned to see the same idiot pemrhead who defeated him a little over a week ago at Thriller Bark. The permhead just stared at him with ha slightly apologetic expression. "Uhh…I can fix that."
Momonga's face slowly turend a very bright shade of red, and then: "AAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUGH!"
5min Later
"You people better feel lucky I don't feel like filing charges against you people for housing fugitives!" He yelled at Zeff, who had finally woken up from all the commotion. "Too much paperwork."
"Take them; I never thought I'd meet a worse waiter than my son's captain." Zeff huffed.
Momonga pursed his lips. "I expect my order to be take-out later. But for now…" He turned to the three fugitives, who were now in handcuffs. "I want these three in the holding cell on Gecko Island; there's no possible way they could ruin my meal from that far away! No devil fruit has time powers!"
"Gecko Island?" Gintoki repeated. "Where are we going, the land of the giant lizards? This isn't a parody of Jurassic Park, is it?"
"Gin-san…just what were you thinking back there?" Shinpachi asked.
"Oh Shinpachi-kun! I found this great recipe that combined a chocolate parfait and Kailua. It looked so good that I had to try it; and then I tried three." Gintoki explained. "That recipe joined my two driving forces: sugar and alcohol."
"So basically, you got drunk and screwed us over." Shinpachi sighed.
"I haven't a loser stupid enough to get drunk on sugar." Kagura added.
"ENOUGH!" Momonga got their attention. "You three will be detained in Syrup Village until my meal is finished, and then you will be transported to Impel Down for imprisonment which I will take great pleasure in throwing away the keys!
"Someone's got anger issues." Gintoki replied.
1hr Later
Apparently, they were right outside this 'Gecko Island' for the floating restaurant was stopping for a stock refill there, so it wasn't long until the Odd-Jobs people found themselves in a dingy holding cell in the village's jailhouse. A couple of marines stood guard, but they about as excited to be there as the jail occupants.
"Small base you guys got here." Gintoki said trying to make conversation.
"Bases are being estabslighed everywhere since the war." The soldiers shrugged.
"Oh yeah, this Marineford War-thingie people keep talking about. What happened exactly? Who was fighting who?" Gintoki asked.
"What are you, a complete hermit?" One of them asked.
"No, just an alien from another planet. Now spill, what's with this war everyone keeps talking about?" Gintoki asked.
"It was a war that was between the pirates and navy; the Navy had captured Gol D. Ace-san for execution to extinguish the hope of the Pirates." One of the guards answered. "Gol. D. Ace was the second commander for Whitbeard's crew, the strongest and largest crew in the world. The Navy fought as best as we could, and were even close to eliminating Strawhat!"
"So what happened?" Shinpachi jumped in. Even though he heard this story, he hadn't gotten a good explanation.
"Tch! If it hadn't been for that damn Red-Haired Shanks, then both Fire Fist and Strawhat would be dead!" The other solider punched the wall. "The war was about to be won when Fleet Admiral Sengoku-san was about to execute Ace and Luffy with his shockwave, but Red-Haired showed up with his crew and stopped the war. He forced the Navy to stand down, and convinced the Pirates to take Fire Fist and Strawhat."
"Our numbers were depleted, and both sides suffered tremendous losses in numbers." Solider #1 continued. "As a result of the war, Strawhat and the Whitebeard Pirates disappeared for about two years, and suddenly resurfaced not too long ago. Whitebard and his men are stronger than ever, and with his alliance to the Strawhat's…I don't even want to know what they're capable of."
"Huh? I'd think the people who have the ignorance to say who can live or die are the bigger threats." Gintoki shrugged casually, catching the two marines off guard. "So basically, your government's cracking down on old leads and strangle-holding places these pirates might be hiding. That's so funny it's pathetic." Kagura and Shinpachi watched and listened carefully.
The men glared and pointed their muskets at him. "You!" Gintoki smirked and pulled the muskets forward. POW! POW! Their faces met with Shinpachi and Kagura's fists simultaneously. Gitnoki snatched the key from their corpses and unlocked the cell.
"Let's head back to the restaurant; that old man isn't expecting us to be long." Gintoki sighed. He, Shinpachi, and Kagura walked out of the jailhouse, and started for the beach. Only to be confronted by…children?
"Stop fugitives! This town is under the protection of the Onions! Go back to your cell or suffer the consequences!" They declared.
The Odd-Jobs group just stared; Gintoki spoke. "Um…what?"
"Boys! Shame on you!" A beautiful blonde ran to the group and started chiding them. She turned to the group and bowed politely. "Hello, my name is Kaya, welcome to Syrup Village."
Review Please! Remember, if I don't get more reviews, I won't post, and if I don't post, you won't get your Case ClosedxOne Piece sequel. So anyways, I forgot to mention something in the last chapter- Sadaharu. Sadaharu is Kagura's giant pet puppy dog as mentioned earlier, but by the no. 28 or no. 29 thing, is the number of Sadaharu's Kagura has had. Due to her immense strength as a Yato- Kagura has accidentally killed all of her pets, except for the current Sadaharu, which is the giant puppy dog.
As for this chapter, I don't think I missed any references. As for the Case Closed x One Piece sequel, you are all allowed to ask questions, and brign up theories, and even make requests, but I am not posting that story until this one is complete. Thank you!