Thanks for all the reviews last chapter, I love hearing what you guys think! I tried to reply to them all, but if I missed a few I do apologize.
I just want to let you guys know that my updates may come less often than usual, with the fall semester about to start, it'll be more difficult for me to update as often. I'm thinking I may start posting new chapters twice a week instead of every other day.
Okay, proceed!
"Are we there yet?"
Edward sighs for the thousandth time. "No, Mase. Not yet."
"How much longer, mama?"
"Mommy already told you, a half hour." Edward answers for me. As annoying as out little man's being, I silently thank the heavens for the loud crack of thunder that woke Masen from his nap. At least now it's not Edward and I, sitting in deathly silence, glancing at each other awkwardly out of the corner of our eyes.
"But that was hours ago!" Masen whines, his bottom lip jutting out.
"Actually," I turn around in my seat to face him, "It was two minutes ago." Sticking my tongue out, I grab his half-empty bag of cookies and begin munching on them; if nothing more than to pass the time.
He shrieks as though I've just committed a crime and points an accusing finger at me, "Daduh! Momma's eatin' my cookies!"
"Eating, Masen. There's a 'g' in that word." Edward reminds him sternly. I can tell he's just barely holding on to his sanity, and I thank god we're almost in Forks. Never thought I'd say that again.
Masen, realizing his cookies would be gone in a matter of seconds at the rate I was going, decides to let it go, glaring out the window with his arms crossed.
"I'm sorry, Bean." Edward's voice surprises me, although it shouldn't have. I could tell he's wanted to say something since back at mile marker seventy eight.
"For what?" I ask, already having a pretty good idea about what he's referring to.
"For what I said earlier. It was out of line. Way out of line. Especially on the way to my parents' place with," He nods his head toward the backseat, "him back there."
"The timing was crap, I'll give you that. But… I think its good you told me. I'm glad you told me. I don't want us to have secrets." I admit.
"Neither do I; but I think this was something better kept up here." He taps his forehead. "At least for the time being."
"I'm not upset, Edward. I was, but not anymore." I munch down the last cookie and crumple up the bag.
"I can tell. I thought for sure you were gonna deck me at one point about an hour ago." He chuckles, rubbing his forehead.
I almost did, but I don't tell him that. "I think that, if you are truly having these feelings, we should talk it out. Not now, obviously. But when we get back home." I should stop there, but I don't. "Maybe… maybe we're too close?" I hesitate, "Maybe that's why you think you feel the way you do." I tell him, screening my words so as to not rouse suspicion in the angry five year old in the back.
"I know what I feel." Is all he says with finality in his tone, slowing down near the 'Welcome to Forks' sign. "Here we are buddy," Edward smiles as he speaks up, tapping Masen's leg. "Five minutes and we'll be at gammy and grandpa's." Masen squeals, clapping and whooping it up in the backseat. "You ready for this?" he directs at me.
"Ready as ever, I suppose. Rose texted me awhile ago- they're running a few hours late."
"Everything okay?"
"Yeah; Em got held up at work."
He nods, grumbling something I don't quite catch. "Listen, uh… I don't think I ever thanked you for this- coming with me this weekend. I know it can't be the most comfortable situation for you, and yet here you are. So thanks, uh, for that."
Is he nervous?
"I know I probably made it worse, telling you… what I did. I just wanted you to know that I never meant to do that. Make you more uncomfortable, that is."
I let out a puff of air. "Let's just put the past few hours behind us, okay? At least until the weekend's over."
"Deal. I must admit, I'm a bit relieved to have it out there in the open." He nods his head, patting my knee. He leaves his hand on my leg and I make no move to shove it off. In fact, I rather enjoy the feeling of his heave, warm hand on my jean clad thigh.
"Edward?"
"Yes, Bean?"
"Talking about it isn't considered putting it behind us." I remind him smartly.
He blushes, smiling despite himself. "Sorry. No more, I promise."
"Is that grammy's house?" Masen yells, pointing to the first white house we've seen since entering Forks.
"No, baby." I tell him, rolling my eyes. He knows it's not. "Five minutes."
"You said 'five minutes' years ago!" he whines, throwing his head back against his car-seat.
"For the record," I whisper to Edward, my eyes boring into the side of his head. "I'm glad you told me. Just give me time to think, okay? Then I'll be able to talk about it."
He grins, momentarily taking his eyes off the slippery road to wink at me. "I thought we were dropping it?"
"We were," I settle back into my seat, "You know I always have to get the last word, though."
"Ain't that the truth." He laughs, the tension leaving his body almost immediately.
"It's 'isn't', daddy. I get yelled at when I say 'ain't.' You have to say 'isn't'." Edward ignores him, laughing silently at the matter-of-fact tone and sheer satisfaction radiating off of our boy. He just loves to correct us.
"Is that Gammy and Grandpa's house?" Mase points to a beat up red-barn looking building with a plastic statue of a cow displayed proudly on the front lawn. "If it is, do you think they would let me take the moo-moo cow home? We could put it on our balcony, mamma!"
Not happening.
"Hon, you know that isn't their house."
"I know," he sighs, "I wisht is, though. Then I could have the moo-moo."
Edward nudges me mouthing 'Christmas-gift,' with an impish grin set on his lips.
"Don't you dare, Cullen. I know where you live."
"Ooh, sca-ry." His voice cracks from the force of my fist landing on his bicep.
"Is that Gammy's house?" Masen asks again. At this point, I'm not above taping his mouth shut.
"No, it's not." I grumble, not even bothering to look.
"Silly, momma!" He laughs, "Yes it is."
Well, fuck me. Either my memories failing me, or the Cullen's moved, because this monstrosity of a mansion was not where Edward grew up. "Dayum." I whistle, my eyes darting from the clean white modern house to the green grass and beautiful gardens surrounding it. "Since when did Esme become the Queen of Forks?"
Edward smiles, shutting off the Volvo. "They moved up here last year; I thought I told you?"
"I think I would've remembered, Edward." I lie, knowing full well he probably did tell me. I can never seem to remember the little details. "It's beautiful."
"Well," he shrugs, "With mom retired, Dad wanted to make sure she didn't get bored. Thus the gardens."
"I didn't know you could grow flowers in Forks." I tease, reveling in all the beautiful colors and diversity of the plants.
"Grammy!" Masen squeals, throwing open the door and racing through the rain to the beautifully aged woman standing on the porch. "Grammy, grammy!" Esme is truly the epitome of beauty; not only due to her natural young-looks and hair any fifty-year old woman would kill for; but also for who she is as a person. She's always been a passionate woman, I knew that from the first time I met her, but it seems to have only grown over the years, with her being a part of multiple charities and starting up Forks' first women's shelter.
I didn't realize until this moment, sitting in the driveway watching the woman I once considered a mother embrace my son, how much I truly missed her.
"She missed you too." Edward whispers, although I don't know why. We're alone in the car; he doesn't have to worry about Masen hearing anything he says.
"Am I that obvious?" I know by his silence that the answer is yes.
"She still hasn't stopped apologizing to me for the last time you were here. She hates herself for pressuring you, and making you feel uncomfortable."
"I know. It wasn't just her though… It was me mostly. I just- I don't know I guess I just felt weird still acting like she was a mother to me when we had just divorced."
He leans across the center console, his eyes locked on mine, and places a feathery kiss just below my cheek-bone. "She loves you, no matter what happens between us. That'll always be true. Thank you for giving her another chance." He's out the door, running back to the trunk of the car before I can respond.
I use my moment of solitude- probably the only one I'll be getting for the next two days- to collect my thoughts and mentally prepare myself for what's to come. Sure, Esme and I ended things on the wrong foot last time, but we've spoken over the phone since then, and I'd like to think that we're passed all of it. That she forgives me for being a monumental bitch.
A knock on the window next to my head startles me, and my eyes shoot open. I wasn't aware I had them closed. I pull up on the lock, swinging the door open to face Edward. He's holding an umbrella over my side of the car, a concerned look etched in his face.
I don't like it. Edward should always be smiling his sweet, crooked grin. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine." I respond, maybe just a bit too brightly. "No time like the present, right?" He nods, taking my hand to help me out. I thank him, knowing full well my legs aren't quite up to par after four hours of sitting in the car.
"Bella, dear, is that you?" Esme's familiar sweet voice floats down the driveway, bringing years upon years of memories with it.
"Who else would it be, mom?" Edward jokes, resting his hand along the base of my spine. She either doesn't hear him, or decides not to comment as she races down the steps- and into the rain- toward us. "Mom, you're getting soaked!" Edward whines, tugging her under the too-small umbrella.
"You look so beautiful," She tells me wistfully, pulling me in for a comforting hug. The kind of hug only mothers can give; and only daughters understand. The kind of hug that makes you question why, exactly, it's been a year since receiving the last one. "So beautiful."
I pull back just long enough to stare at her apologetically with tears in my eyes, "Esme I-"
"Hush," she chastises with a knowing look in her bright green eyes. "What's done is done."
"I never got the chance to apologize face to face. I'm so sorry, I never-"
"Bella, dear, shut up. Please." She raises an eyebrow giving me a look; the same look I give Mase whenever he forgets to put his underwear in the dirty-clothes bin.
Esme still has her fire.
"Now, let's get out of this storm." She watches the rain drip down off the umbrella with disdain. "As much as I love Forks, this weather just kills me sometimes." With that, she links her arm through mine and grabs the umbrella from Edward, leaving him standing in the downpour. "Can you manage the bags, Edward, or would you like me to get Carlisle?" She giggles. God I missed this woman.
He rolls his eyes, obviously used to his mothers' antics. "You'll be sorry when I have the flu tomorrow."
"And where is Carlisle?" I prompt, missing papa bear as well.
She sighs, a dissatisfied grumble sprouting from her lips, "The hospital managed to rope him in until seven tonight, even though he's been planning to take today off for weeks. He'll be home soon, though. It wouldn't surprise me if he snuck out early; he's missed you three so much." She glances at me from the corner of her eye. "We both have."
"I know." I nod sheepishly. "I've missed you both as well."
"No more fighting." She promises. "No more talk of marriage, or divorce. I was out of line on your last visit; I realize that now. It's just," she lets out a breath. "It's just hard for me… to see you two like this."
"You just have to remind yourself to see beyond the divorce, Es. We're happy now- more so that we were when we were together. We're still a family; just a bit unconventional." I tell her honestly, though Edward's words from earlier sneak in my mind. What I felt for you then- it's nothing compared to what I feel now. That's what he said. Apparently he's not as happy as I thought with our current arrangements.
Nothing compared to what I feel now.
"You'll always be family, Isabella Marie Swan, and don't you forget it." She says with conviction, interrupting my thoughts. Taking the umbrella from her, I shake it off and lean it by the rich mahogany door. Looks expensive- in fact, everything about this house looks expensive.
"Carlisle's overtime must be paying well." I comment, following her into the foyer.
She smiles gratefully, if not a bit humbly. "My husband loves to spoil me."
"It's a beautiful place." I tell her honestly, too distracted by the rich brown and cream décor of the living room just beyond the entry to say much else. The whole back wall of the house is covered in floor to ceiling windows looking out into the lush green Fork's forest. "So beautiful."
"Those windows are what sold us on this house." She comments, following my line of vision. "It's not much when it's storming this bad, but when it's clear out… the view is just breathtaking; like a fairytale."
Off in the distance, we hear a loud crashing sound- the sound of glass hitting the tile- and both our heads shoot up, the trance the forest held on us broken. "What was that?" I ask stupidly- like she knows what it was. "Masen?"
"Masen, honey!" Esme calls out, frantically running toward what appears to be the kitchen- if the stainless steel appliances are any indication. "Oh, Masen." She sighs, stopping and staring at my little boy. My little boy who's sitting in the middle of the floor, surrounded by broken glass with tears marring his green little eyes, streaking down his face.
"I'm sorry, gramma," he cries, running into my arms. "I didn't mean to!"
My heart nearly stops while I run my fingers along his face to check for scratches and he holds me tight, sniffling. "Are you alright?" I ask him softly, not finding any boo-boos. Thank god. My heart slows to its normal pace. He nods, peaking out at Esme from the crook of my neck. "What happened, Mase?"
He holds onto me tighter, shaking like a leaf. "I was trying to put up my picture on the fridgerator, but I fell and knocked that over." He points to the remnants of what looks like a very nice- very expensive- green glass vase. "It was an accident, momma, I pwomise!" He pleads, wiping his runny nose on my sweater, a new round of tears on their way. Unfazed by being used as a human Kleenex, I kiss his forehead and ask him to go find Edward; I'll talk to him about it later. "Sowry Gramma." He whispers just before running out of the kitchen, not waiting for a response.
"Poor baby." She shakes her head, grabbing a broom. "I hope he doesn't think I'm angry at him."
"I'm so sorry about this, Es. I'll buy you a new one-" I cringe internally just imagining how much this is going to cost me.
"Nonsense, Bella. Remind me to thank him later." She winks, handing me a dust-pan. "Will you scoop it up? My back's just not as lenient as it used to be."
"What do you mean thank him?" I wonder aloud, holding the pan as she brushes the glass shard into it. "Es, this must have cost-"
"A small fortune?" She rolls her eyes. "Tell me about it. It was a gift- nothing I'd buy for myself."
My brows furrow, "And you… didn't like it?"
"It's not that I didn't like the gift, per se… I just cannot stand the woman who gave it to us. You know me; I'm not one to judge anyone before I know them-"
"Who?"
"Leanne Martis across the street." Her eyes narrow. "She's hit on my husband just one too many times for my liking." Giggling she adds, "I was just waiting for the opportune moment for this vase to have an unfortunate accident."
I can't help but join in on her laughter; how could I not? "I think you should be sure to tell Masen that. It'd cheer him up a bit."
"I'm just sorry this happened." She frowns, a concerned look etched on her face, "He's not hurt? You're sure?" I nod. "I should've known better than to keep glass where he could reach it."
"Really, Esme, don't worry about it. He's fine. Just a little shaken up, I think."
"What is this?" She asks, picking Masen's drawing up off the floor. "Oh, isn't this precious?" I watch, a tad bit smugly, as her eyes begin to tear up at the sheer genius of her grandson. See? I'm not the only one who thinks it's great. "Please, tell me I can keep this. Please Bella?" Her watery eyes meet mine as she clutches the drawing to her chest.
"Sorry, Es. His teacher need sit back by Monday for open house." I dump the shards in the trash and face her.
"Well," she frowns, reluctantly passing it over to me. "Make sure I get a photocopy."
"Absolutely." I promise, nodding my head.
"What happened?" Edward interrupts, his bronze hair dripping, stuck to his head, his green eyes wide and searching. "Is Mase alright?"
"He's fine, just had a little accident." I tell him, grabbing a kitchen towel to wipe him off a bit.
"An unfortunate accident." Esme adds devilishly, smirking in my direction. I bark out a laugh, rubbing the towel through his hair gently. "Where is he? I want to make sure he's not too upset."
Edward points behind him to the living room, his eyes falling shut, an easy expression washing over him. "That feels nice."
"Yeah?" I breathe out, wiping his face and neck.
"Mmhm."
"I'm sorry you got all wet."
"Mmhm." He nods, leaning back against the counter, still not opening his eyes. "The things I do for you, woman." He smirks, one eyelid lifting half-way, just enough to tease me with a strip of dark green before shutting again.
"Aren't I the lucky one." I tease back, wringing out the towel over the sink.
His hand rests on my waist. "Why'd you stop?"
"Go change into something dry." I order, refusing to acknowledge the fact that there's barely two inches between my back and his front. "I don't want you getting sick."
He ignores me, rubbing the skin where my thermal shirt has risen up. Again, I make no move to shove him off; I like the way his skin feels on mine. "So… you and mom seem to be getting along."
"We are. It's nice." The towel has long since been wrung out, but that doesn't stop me from twisting it further. Nervous habit. Why, am I nervous? Because I can't stop thinking about the car ride here. And the fact that we're practically touching in a more-than- friends manner.
I'll do whatever it takes to make you see that you feel the same. That's what he said, isn't it? Or something to that effect. And what I felt for you then- it's nothing compared to what I feel for you now.
It's nothing compared to what I feel for you now. It's nothing compared to what I feel for you now. It's nothing compared to what I feel for you now. The words run in a seemingly never-ending loop through my brain.
"Are you trying to kill the towel?" Edward whispers, taking it from my hands and laying it over the faucet.
"Not kill." I shake my head to clear my thoughts. Friends. We're just friends. At least until we can talk about… whatever this is. After we leave Esme's. "Just maim."
"Just maim." He chuckles, his head bobbing.
"I need to go check on Mase." I blurt, after a beat of silence. "And you need to go change before you freeze to death."
"Hey," he grabs my arm gently, stopping me before I'm two steps away from him. "I don't know what's going on in that pretty little head of yours, but you need to stop over-thinking."
I sigh, "I do that a lot, don't I?"
"What, over-think?" I nod. He laughs, "Yes that is your forte it seems." He starts laughing harder. "Remember when we were picking paint for Masen's room? You had a whole cart full of little paint samples." He's full on belly-laughing now. "The guy who rung us up looked at you like you were psycho."
I'm not amused.
"Need I remind you of the time we were in the market for a new TV?" I retort, cocking an eyebrow. Talk about over thinking. "Maybe this one," I mock him in a deep voice. He stops laughing. "It's three-D capable. No, wait," I gasp, throwing a hand over my chest. "But this one has a DVD player built in." It took him three months to find the 'perfect' TV. Which turned out to be the same model we had before ours broke.
"Bella, I think TV's are just a tad more important than paint colors." He shakes his head. "I mean, how many different shades of blue can there possibly be?"
"A fucking ton." I shoot back, crossing my arms. He shoots me the stink eye and stalks out, knowing that he'll lose this argument one way or another. Because he always does.
It takes me a few minutes to realize that he had effectively fulfilled his purpose- I stopped thinking about us.
Awww Edward can be so cute sometimes! What do you guys think about Esme?
Drop me a lie before ya' go(: