Jack sat in the main part of the hub, watching and listening to all the machines making their first morning whir. He sighed to himself and ran a hand down the side of his cheek, puffing them out. Jack had been up all night with little Tommy, he'd cry none stop and Ianto somehow was able to sleep through it all. He looked down at his hands and thought about his family, not knowing what to do with himself.
Ianto hated waking up alone, but it seemed these days he was always alone in bed when he woke. He sat up, touched the bed beside him and like it had been most of the past year it was cold. Jack had left the bed long ago. He sat up and saw Tommy sat up slightly in his cradle. He got up and held the baby in his arms. "Hey baby, lets go find your daddy yeah?" Ianto whispered.
Jack pushed himself up from the sofa, guiding his body into the kitchen knowing that Ianto would have been awake by now for his morning coffee. He placed two mugs onto the work surface and a medium sized baby bottle. Pouring out the two mugs of coffee, he gently poured some warm milk into Tommy's beaker so that it was all ready for him when they arrived.
Ianto held a sleeping baby in his arms and headed over to the kitchen. He smiled at Jack. "Hey." He beamed. Just as he spoke the baby started to cry. "Hey Tommy, look what daddy made for you. You want some milk?" Ianto picked up the bottle and brought it to his baby's lips who started to drink it eagerly. Ianto smiled and leaned over and kissed Jack on the cheek. "Morning."
Jack smiled brightly as he saw Ianto and Tommy wander into the kitchen, he always seemed to put on a mask when Ianto was near, not wanting him to know anything was bothering him. "Hey" he smiled warmly. Jack paused and closed his eyes when he had heard Tommy cry, his fist placed firmly against the work surface as he tried to block out the crying. He soon opened his eyes and smiled at Ianto when he had fed Tommy his morning meal.
Ianto wasn't stupid, he hated that Jack seemed to think he was. He knew that something was wrong with Jack, he just wished that the older man would do something about it. "We better get you ready for nursery." Ianto sighed smiling at Tommy. Tommy just gurgled in reply. Ianto looked over at Jack who had a slight distant look on his face. He sighed and walked out of the kitchen and to the bedroom.
Jack grunted in frustration and wanted to kick himself in the stomach as soon as Ianto had left the room with Tommy. Why couldn't he just get over the stupid feeling he had of not being able to cope? He ran a hand through his hair now and slowly slid himself down the worktops, pulling his knees into a tight hug as he rested his head against his hands.
Ianto dressed Tommy after a quick wash. He smiled at how cute he looked in the outfit Gwen had got him. "Come on, lets go say goodbye to daddy and take you to nursery." Ianto said in a sing song voice. Tommy smiled up at him. Ianto walked to the kitchen and saw Jack cradling himself on the floor. He gulped. He took Tommy to his pram and buckled him in before settling down next to Jack.
Jack sniffled softly as he let tears run down his cheeks, making his pyjama bottoms a little wet. He couldn't understand what was wrong with him. He wanted to love Tommy and he desperately wanted to be a father to him but felt like he couldn't. Feeling Ianto beside him, he swallowed and just let his head fall into Ianto's lap, his hand up by his face.
Ianto sighed and held Jack close. No words were spoken. They both knew what this was about. Ianto ran his fingers through Jack's hair trying to soothe the older man. Ianto wasn't too sure how long they were sat there, but when Tommy started to cry, Ianto reluctantly pulled away. "We still have time, why don't you go and get dressed and take him to nursery with me?" Ianto asked softly.
Jack lay there for a good few minutes and placed his hand over his ear as he heard his little boy cry. He sighed softly to himself and held onto Ianto's arm, not wanting to let it go. Hearing Ianto's question, Jack looked up at him, his face stained with old tears that had now dried up. "And what would they think? His teachers. They've already asked how his mother is."
Ianto sighed. He had already told the teachers at the nursery that Tommy was adopted and that he had two fathers. They didn't care. They just smiled at him. "Jack. you never care what people think." Ianto sighed reluctantly. "You could just say no. You could say that you don't want to spend time with him. Don't feed me excuses." Ianto got up grabbed his jacket and headed to the pram.
Jack grabbed onto Ianto and pulled him back down against the cupboards, his face looking as if it was about to burst with tears once again. "I never said that I didn't want to spend time with him. And they're not excuses" he frowned, his grip on Ianto's arm, rather tight. "If you want, I'll go, then if you don't..well I'll just stay here."
"Jack. You know that I want you to come." Ianto said gently. "I want you to be able to talk to me too... tell me your worries... please." Ianto sighed. "How about we drop trouble off at nursery, and then we go walk down the bay?" Ianto asked as he leaned against Jack.
Jack stared into his eyes, his own eyes stricken with fear and guilt that he couldn't seem to get rid of. He loosened his grip on Ianto's arm and slowly got up. "All right I'll come with, but if they give me funny looks, I'm getting out of there" he made it sure.
Ianto smiled, he took Jack's hand in his and pushed the pram with the other. They walked to the nursery together in a comfortable silence. Every so often Ianto would point things out to Tommy and make him giggle. Ianto was glad that when they got to the nursery no one gave them looks or said anything, in fact the workers there were pleased to meet Jack.
Jack held Ianto's hand rather tightly as they entered the nursery. He was quite shocked at the greeting they gave him, he thought it was all going to be pointing and stares. Jack stared down at Tommy who seemed rather eager to get out of his pram so that he could go and play with his little class mates. Jack chuckled as he saw this and looked over towards Ianto to let him out.
Ianto smiled and knelt down and let Tommy out. "You be good for your daddies." Ianto whispered and kissed his head. Tommy smiled brightly and held out his hands for Jack to hold him. "Thinks he wants you," Ianto smiled looking at Jack. He really hoped that Jack would come out of this funk just for a minute to give his baby boy a hug goodbye at nursery school.
Jack watched Ianto let him out and saw how quickly Tommy seemed to scramble out of his pram and over to him. Jack looked from Ianto to his little boy who was just pleading for his father to hold him. Jack smiled slightly and glanced at the teachers for a moment before bending down to hug Tommy. "You be a good boy, okay?" Jack asked, ruffling his hair "Now go off and play."
Ianto smiled and let Tommy out of his hand and he immediately crawled over to the toy section. He chuckled, even at the age of 1 his son was quite popular, always being invited over for play dates even though Ianto always said no. He was too protective over him sometimes. "We'll see you at four." Ianto smiled at the nursery nurse who grinned back. "Come on. Time for that chat, yeah?" Ianto smiled.
Jack stood up straight now and straightened out his greatcoat as he watched his son amble away from the pair of them. Jack looked across at Ianto and smiled slightly before glancing back towards their son. He too could be very protective at times over Tommy, it was in his instinct. Jack heard Ianto's question and sighed "If we must."
Ianto felt like screaming. He wasn't angry at Jack, not really. He was just... confused. They walked for a while in silence. Ianto didn't know how to start this conversation but he knew it was one they needed to have, and soon! He couldn't stand being in the house with Jack any more, he was too distant, always there but never there at the same time. "So what's wrong?"
Jack walked along the streets, his head bowed and his hands placed firmly inside his pockets. He looked up every now and again to see where he was going, not wanting to bump into anything. Hearing Ianto's question made him grunt and growl inside. Jack frowned and looked up at Ianto, staring him in the eyes "What is your problem? I told you nothing was wrong."
"Jack. I need you to talk to me. I need you to tell me what's going on in that head of yours so I can help you! Because right now, I don't know you any more. You just... you don't talk to me... you can't even look at your son. I... I don't know what to do any more." Ianto was close to tears, he couldn't look at Jack, he just walked forward wiping his eyes as he did so.
Jack sighed and ran a hand through his hair from frustration as Ianto wandered ahead of him. He quickened his pace and grabbed hold of Ianto's arm, turning him to face him, staring deeply into his eyes. "It's not you, or him..it's me. I can't cope. I mean, I coped many times before and I just don't understand why I can't this time. I'm sorry" he told him, looking down at his feet.
Ianto stopped. His heart breaking. Jack couldn't cope with him? He felt the tears fall from his eyes, he hated that his emotions were still too strong. "Jack... I don't know what to say... but... he needs you. I need you. You have to sort this out. Because... being with you... living with this shell of you. It's hard. And I don't want Tommy around you if you're going to pretend he doesn't exist."
Jack snapped his head back up towards Ianto, his eyes now wide and steeped with anger. He lifted his upper lip slightly as he gripped onto Ianto's arms "You can't do that. You can't stop me from seeing him. And I don't pretend he doesn't exist!" Jack shouted as if his 'not being able to cope' had disappeared.
"See you do care." Ianto said quietly. He looked up at Jack. "You... I would never take him away from you. I'm sorry. I just... you act as though he isn't there Jack, you... I've seen you. You're like a robot around him, you've no feelings towards him. You get up at night and everything but it's like you're empty. You do it as a reaction not because you want to." Ianto sighed. "How can I help?"
"Ianto, I get up every night when he needs BOTH of his fathers but you can't be bothered to get up. What does that tell you then?" Jack snarled and lifted a finger towards Ianto's face "Don't you ever blame this all on me. He's ours, we made him and we both have to deal with him" he frowned and stared at Ianto angrily.
"Jack. I take sleeping tablets. You know that! You knew when I take them I'm out of it. And when he was born I said I'd stop but you told me that I was being stupid. So don't you bring that on me! He's our son. You're ot supposed to just deal with him. You're supposed to care!" Ianto screamed. "I can't do this now. I'll see you later." Ianto mumbled and walked away from Jack.
Jack rolled his eyes and turned his body away from the direction that Ianto was going as he began to head back towards the nursery. He looked back once or twice and saw that Ianto was out of sight. Jack smiled slightly to himself as he gently entered the nursery, seeing his son playing with the other toddlers. "Come on Tommy, home time" he knew it was early but Ianto was right, he needed to bond with him.
Ianto headed home. He sighed, his body was shaking with fear. Had he lost Jack forever for just being honest with him? all he wanted to do was find Jack and apologise. But he didn't feel as though he had done anything wrong. He started to pick the toys around the living room up, putting them in the blue basket of toys. He distracted himself by cleaning for a few hours trying not to think of Jack.
Jack lifted his son up against his chest and softly wandered out of the nursery with him. He held him close and smiled up at him as Tommy gurgled at his father. Jack chuckled and poked him in the chest lightly "What are you trying to tell me? Hm?" he asked him, knowing full well that he wasn't going to get an answer.
Ianto looked up at the clock and saw that it was almost three. He grabbed his jacket and headed to the nursery. When he got there, he was told that Tommy had been picked up by Jack. Ianto saw red. He grabbed his phone and dialled Jack's number waiting for the older man to answer. How could Jack pick Tommy up without even telling him!!
Jack was sat in the park, Tommy resting against his chest as he sat upon his lap. He smiled down at him as he stroked his hair, hopefully sending him off to sleep. He frowned shortly after as he felt his phone vibrating inside his pocket against his leg. Jack pulled it out and saw on the welcome screen it read 'Ianto. He sighed and opened it, holding it against his ear. "Yeah?"
"Jack. Thanks for letting me know that you went to pick up Tommy." Ianto snapped. The sensible part of his mind was telling him that it was okay that Jack was bonding with Tommy, but the rational part of his mind was screaming that Tommy needed routine and being pulled out of nursery wasn't the right thing to do.
Jack rolled his eyes and sighed against the microphone. "Ianto, he's fine. Like you say, it's time for us to bond with each other" Jack told him, smiling down at Tommy who was intrigued at who was on the other end of the phone. "I think he want's to say something to you" Jack grinned and held the phone against Tommy's ear, whilst his other hand supported him. Tommy stared up at Jack who gave him a nod "Heyo daddy!"
Ianto felt his heart soar at Tommy calling him daddy. He smiled to himself. "Hey baby." Ianto smiled. He wanted to say more but figured he wouldn't understand. A second later Jack was on the phone. "I get that you wanted to bond. I'm not mad... I was just... You could have told me you were going to pick him up is all I'm saying, would have saved me a trip."
Jack chuckled "Would you stop rambling and get your bony little ass down here at the park? He wants to show you something as well" he said, grinning down at Tommy who giggled in a high-pitched tone and clapped his hands. "And hurry up, this little boss is very impatient."
Ianto smiled. He knew this wasn't over, he'd have to talk to Jack about this at some point. But he was glad that Jack wanted him there. "I'll be there in five. I'll bring some food. Have a late picnic?" Ianto asked, it was his way of apologising.
"Sounds great. See you then" Jack grinned and put the phone down on Ianto and stood Tommy up upon his lap. "I'll be behind you every step of the way, son. You just make daddy Ianto proud" he chuckled and reached a hand over towards Tommy's thick head of hair, giving it a quick ruffle.
Ten minutes later, and a bag full of food from the local shop Ianto made his way to the park. He stood at the gate and watched as Jack crawled around on the grass chasing a giggling Tommy. He felt a lump in his throat. He pulled out his phone, and took a picture of the scene in front of him. He wanted to be able to remember that image forever. He walked over to them smiling. "Hey baby."
Jack laughed loudly as he pretended that he couldn't catch his feisty son, purposely missing him as he tried to grab him. Hearing Ianto's voice made Jack look up with a wide grin spread upon his face. "Hey there, Ianto. Come see what our little lad can do" he smiled and turned to Tommy, encouraging him to crawl back over towards him so that Jack could support him for his next move.
Ianto smiled as Tommy crawled towards him. Ignoring the fact that he would get dirt on his jeans he bent on the floor and crawled over to Tommy who grabbed his face. "You're such a clever boy." Ianto smiled. Tommy giggled and pressed a slobbery kiss on Ianto's cheek. Ianto, grinning picked up his son and rolled on his back holding him in the air laughing.
Jack chuckled when he had seen Ianto roll on the floor with Tommy "careful, you're suit will ruin" Jack told him, but decided that Ianto probably didn't at all care. Jack sat himself down on the grass properly and waited for Ianto to put their son down once again so that he could show him what he could now do.
"Can wash them." Ianto smiled. He put Tommy on the floor who crawled into Jack's lap. Ianto sat up opposite them smiling. "So... what can my boy do then?" Ianto asked grinning.
Jack pulled Tommy in close against his chest and smiled over at Ianto "You wanna watch this" he chuckled. Standing Tommy upon his feet, Jack held his hands up behind him "Go on, over to daddy. I'm here" he told him softly as Tommy begain to take small unstable steps.
Ianto held out his arms and watched as Tommy walked slowly towards him, his tiny feet covered in blue converse trainers stepped slowly but confidently. Ianto grinned as his son was in front of him. "Oh I'm so proud of you!" Ianto beamed. He picked his son up again spinning him in the air. Ianto looked over at Jack and smiled softly at his lover.
"Learns something new every day" Jack beamed and winked over at Ianto. "He's just like you in every way." Jack grinned and slowly made his way over towards his son and his lover, sitting himself down beside them. He placed one kiss upon Ianto's cheek and once against Tommy's forehead his hand pushing into Ianto's inner thigh.
Jack turned his head towards Ianto's direction. "No..you were just being responsible" he nodded "It's me who over reacted and..I'm sorry." Jack sighed but soon grinned as he saw little Tommy fall and pick himself up once again "Clever boy" Jack chuckled. Tommy stared up at Jack now and giggled "Cle..clever!"
Ianto grinned. "Tommy you hungry?" Ianto asked as he picked some stuff from the bag. He had brought some baby food and sandwhiches for him and Jack. Tommy nodded and crawled over to his daddy. Ianto picked him up into his lap and opened the small tin and started to feed him, making aeroplane noises making both Tommy and Jack giggle.
Jack watched as Ianto fed Tommy, watching Tommy's reaction as he tasted the food in his mouth. Tommy grimaced and poked his tongue in and out as the food lay on his tongue. Jack chuckled and shook his head. Tommy turned his head and spat the food out onto his bib that rested against his chest.
Ianto smile. "Don't want it huh?" Tommy shook his head. "Guess your daddy's going to eat it." Ianto put the spoon in the pot and brought it to Jack's lips. "You want daddy to eat your food?" Ianto asked looking at Tommy as the spoon got nearer. Tommy shook his head. "Nooo!" He cried and Ianto giggled and brought the spoon to Tommys mouth.
Tommy watched as the spoon came near enough to touch him mouth. He frowned and lifted up his hand as he batted it away, the contents of it flying over Ianto's suit. "Yuck!" he groaned and crawled onto Jack's lap hoping that he would be safer.
Ianto moaned and stared at his suit and groaned. Jack chuckled. "It's not funny." Ianto sighed. "Sorry dadda." Tommy said his eyes watering. "Oh baby it's okay." Ianto sighed. "It can come out in the wash." Ianto said though he knew it wouldn't. His suit was ruined. "Why don't you have some of my sandwich then? like a big boy." Ianto broke some of his sandwich and handed it to Tommy.
Tommy held onto Jack's neck as he buried his head into his fathers chest, not wanting to get told off for what he had just done. Hearing Ianto's offer made Tommy slowly turn his head so that he faced his birth father. "Yeah!" he giggled and jumped back onto Ianto's lap, snatching the whole sandwich out of Ianto's hand, dropping the contents over himself. "Oh.." Tommy trembled as he looked down.
Ianto sighed and picked up the sandwich, it had only fallen on his sons stomach he broke some of it off and took Tommy's hand, placed it in his chubby fingers and brought his arm up to his mouth. "Like that," Ianto smiled. he watched as Tommy sucked on the sandwich and swallowed it. "Like?" Ianto grinned as Tommy put some in his mouth on his own. "Good boy." Ianto smiled and turned to Jack.
Jack rolled his eyes when he had seen his son drop the contents of the sandwich all over himself, another clumsy one. Jack shook his head and gave a small chuckle, knowing that it wasn't all bad. He looked down at Tommy as he ate and smiled before looking back up at Ianto once again. "He's learning fast"
"Takes after you." Ianto smiled. he looked at Tommy who was now finishing off the sandwich and looking over at the swings. "Thinks he wants to go on them." Ianto smiled at Jack. "Why don't you take him and I'll go get us some ice cream?"
Jack grinned widely and ran a hand through his hair as he watched his son's direction. "Why don't we give him the choice of who he want's to take him over?" he asked softly and sent a small smile in his direction.
Ianto nodded. "Tommy you want to go on the swings?" Ianto asked picking him up. "Yes!" He claps his hands excitedly. "Who do you want to take you?" Ianto asked. Tommy reached out for Jack. "Good choice. He can push you much higher." Ianto smiled. Receiving a giggle from Tommy. "I'll go get you some ice cream yeah?" Tommy cheered loudly.
Jack sighed and turned his head away as Tommy reached for him to take him over to the swings. "Ianto I..I'm not very good with swings" he shook his head and stood up, backing away slightly. "Why don't you take him? After all, you did give birth to him"
"Jack. you put him in and push it." Ianto chuckled. "He wants to spend time with you. And don't remind me... I still feel fat." Ianto giggled. "Spend this time with him, he wants you too any way. Cause you know tomorrow we might be too busy with you now life to do this." Ianto kissed Jack softly on the lips. "Love you both." He smiled and headed over to the ice cream stand.
Jack groaned and grunted as Tommy was placed into his arms. He stared down at the little boy who had a rather large similar looking grin upon his face. Jack sighed "Oh come on then." Tommy giggled and clapped as he adjusted himself in Jack's arms so that he could look over towards the swings. Jack entered the park with Tommy and smiled weakly as he placed himself down into the swing. He soon stepped back and expected Tommy to start swinging.
Ianto ordered three ice creams. The man who had served him looked at his suit and handed him some extra wipes. "Thanks. Got two messy people to look after." Ianto smirked. "Twins?" He asked. "No. One baby one father." Ianto laughed. "Though sometimes he acts like a child." Ianto said to himself making the man laugh. "Thanks." Ianto grinned and headed over to the swings.
Tommy looked over at Jack and frowned slightly as he kicked his legs. "Well, go on then" Jack shrugged and waited for him to swing himself back and forward. "Hurry up otherwise daddy will be back soon with the icecreams." Jack sighed and sat himself down upon a nearby bench as he waited. Shortly after Tommy began to wail and scream for Jack to push him.
Ianto frowned. Tommy was sat in the swing crying and Jack was sat on the bench. He walked over to Jack. "You're supposed to push him." Ianto sighed. He handed the ice creams to Jack who looked a little confused, and then walked over to Tommy. "Daddy silly. did he forget to do this?" Ianto asked as he pushed the swing. Tommy stopped crying instantly. "Ice cream time."
Jack sighed and shook his head, he wanted to hit himself as it was such a small simple thing that Tommy wanted him to do and he couldn't even do that for him. "See Ianto? I'm useless! I've tried but I just don't get anywhere!" he stood up and wanted to storm away from them like a stropy teenager but thought better of it. He watched Tommy's little face tremble as he shouted.
Jack looked at both him and Tommy and ran a hand through his hair giving it a sharp irritated tug as he was still very much annoyed with himself. Jack looked at Ianto and swallowed hard, his intentions were to cry as he didn't know how much he could take any more. "Ianto..I'm sorry" he sighed and looked down.
"Jack... you don't have anything to be sorry for." Ianto smiled. He held out his hand for Jack to take. "Come on, the ice creams melting." He said and Tommy reached for his ice cream. "Not till we sit down. you'll probably drop it on my head."
Jack frowned deeply before he heard Ianto's last sentence where he grinned widely and began to chuckle slightly. "Awh come on Ianto, give the little guy a break, he just wants his ice cream. Just give it to him" he pleaded for Tommy, knowing that he couldn't quite do that yet. "Otherwise he'll be unhappy."
Ianto nodded reluctantly and handed Tommy the ice cream. After three licks Ianto felt the ice cream on his jacket and Tommy giggled. "Sowi!" Tommy apologised loudly. "It's okay. Just eat your ice cream champ." Ianto smiled. Tommy gurgled happily and started to eat his ice cream. Ianto linked his hand with Jack as they walked along the park to one of the tables.
Jack chuckled at how Tommy took the ice cream into his mouth "Awh!" he grinned widely and ruffled his tiny head of hair. He leant down closely towards Tommy's ear and whispered "Do it.." Jack now stood back as he gave his son a small now. Tommy looked between the two of them and grinned cheekily at Jack as he plonked his ice cream on top of Ianto's head.
Ianto glared at Jack. He put Tommy down on the floor and then took the ice cream that was now on his head and spread it over Jack's laughing face. "Not funny any more is it?" Ianto said, though he couldn't hide the giggle from his voice. Jack pouted, but then Tommy started to laugh loudly, as did some of the parents around them and neither cared about what state they were in any more.
Jack watched little Tommy as Ianto placed him down upon the floor and grinned but it soon fell as he felt the cold substance upon his own face. "Ugh.." Jack groaned and glared up at his lover. "That wasn't on" Jack turned towards Tommy and picked him up, placing him straight upon his lap and took a tissue from Ianto so that he could wipe the ice cream off of his face.
Ianto sighed, he could feel his hair all sticky. He reached into the bag he had brought, took off his suit jacket and opened a bottle of water. He bent down slowly and poured some of it onto his hair to get rid of the stickiness, he shook his head the water hitting Tommy and Jack making them laugh. Ianto grinned and poured the rest of the water over Jack.
Tommy watched in awe as his father poured a whole bottle of water over both himself and his other father, his little mouth gaping open. "Wet.." he pointed out as he touched Jack's nose softly. Jack smiled softly down at him and nodded "That's right, son. I'm now wet also" he glared.
"I think we should probably head home. Tommy needs a nap. I need a shower. And you... you're going to tidy the house for making him put ice cream on my head." Ianto grinned. "What do you think Tommy? Daddy needs to do something to make himself a good boy?" Ianto picked Tommy up and wiped his face with a wet wipe, even though the ice cream was mainly on Ianto, Tommy still managed to make a mess all over his face.
"You're right" Jack nodded "It's getting a bit late for him and I think all of this ice cream is going straight to his head" he chuckled and nuzzled his nose into the side of Tommy's cheek. "I love you, Thomas, so much" Jack told him softly and smiled up at Ianto giving a small smirk. "Does that mean we get some alone time?"
"Hmm... I don't know... You do have to make this up to me somehow." Ianto gestured to his appearance. "I suppose you couldn't make it up to me with Tommy in the room could you?" Ianto chuckled and stole a quick kiss. "Come on lets go home."
Jack raised a brow and smirked dirtily at him now, his hand gently running down his back and stopping at his arse, giving it a small slap. "I love you too" he whispered into the young Welshman's ear as they began to walk, Jack giving as much into the kiss as he could.