A/N: For those of you interested, you can find me on Tumblr. I'm fishstickfriday on Tumblr if you want to follow me, which no one probably does because my page is lame. I only joined so I could follow my fan fiction wife. I didn't actually want to…partake…Stupid peer pressure…
Disclaimer: Yep. Still own nothing.
No Way Out
I could hear Tony snoring from the other bed. There were two full-size beds in our hotel room. At least he didn't insist on sharing a bed with me. I couldn't sleep. I wanted to sleep, but I couldn't. I didn't want to dream that I was with Logan again only to wake up and find that I wasn't. I couldn't take that crushing reality again.
I dangled my feet over the side of the bed, and started tiptoeing my way over to Tony. He had his gun held against his chest as he slept. My eyes watched him anxiously, half-expecting him to hear me moving about. My heart pounded violently in my chest. My breathing was quick and ragged. My hands were shaking.
I was now standing over him. I reached out towards him, and had my hand on top of his gun. I slowly started to pull it out from underneath him. When he fidgeted, and rolled over on his side, I squeezed my eyes shut, fearful that he would wake up and do something bad to me.
I breathed a sigh of relief when I once again heard him snoring. I tiptoed over to the other side of the bed. Once more, I started to tug the gun from his grasp; a little quicker this time. Nothing. He didn't fidget. He didn't stir. For all I know, he didn't even notice what I was doing.
It felt like a weight was lifted from my shoulders when I finally had possession of the weapon. I opened my mouth wide, and placed the gun in it with trembling hands. I could feel the cold steel on my tongue. I could hear the firearm clatter against my teeth.
"Camille, stop it!" a familiar voice said to me.
I looked in front of me, and there stood Spirit Logan once more. In two quick strides, he was right beside me. He placed his hand on top of the hand I was using to hold the gun. My eyes filled with tears when I couldn't even feel his hand on mine; I could see it, but I couldn't feel it.
"I can't do this anymore, Logan! I'm sorry, but I can't! I miss you way too much! My heart aches way too much!" I sobbed.
"Camille, think of all the people you'd be leaving behind; people who care about you; people who love you. Would you really want to put them through so much pain if you could avoid it?" Spirit Logan asked.
"Did you think about the people you'd be leaving behind when you died? The people who cared about and loved you?"
"That's not fair, Camille. I didn't have a choice when I died. You do."
"Exactly, and I'm choosing to be with you! Isn't that what you want too?"
"Of course, I do! Just…not like this."
He cupped my face with his transparent hands; one hand on each of my cheeks. I placed my hands on top of his, but they ghosted right through them, making me cry even harder. How I longed to be able to touch him again. How I wanted so desperately to be with the real Logan instead of Spirit Logan.
In a bizarre turn of events, my surroundings suddenly changed. I found myself back at the bank. Why did Logan take me here? What did he want to show me? I soon found the answer to that when I saw Kendall, James, Carlos, and Jo. They were kneeling down next to a body that had a white sheet draped over it. My breath hitched in my throat. I had a feeling I knew who was under that sheet.
"No, don't!" I called out.
Nothing. It was like they couldn't hear me. Why couldn't they hear me? Was I really not at the bank? What was going on here? I turned my head and looked at Spirit Logan.
"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded.
"I wanted to show you something. Never mind me; just watch," Spirit Logan answered.
I turned my head back to the grim scene before me. Kendall had pulled the sheet back revealing Logan's head and torso. I heard Carlos let out a whimper as he buried his face in James' chest and sobbed. James himself had tears cascading down his face. Jo turned away, unable to look anymore. Kendall wrapped his arms around her, and rested his head on her shoulder. I think I actually heard Kendall sniffling too.
"This isn't real! That can't be him! That can't be Logan!" Carlos cried out.
James wrapped his arms protectively around Carlos. His eyes were glued to Logan. It was like he was expecting him to open his eyes and sit up any second now. Like this was all some sort of sick practical joke. James knew just as well as I did that Logan would never play such a cruel joke on anyone.
"Where's Camille? Logan went to pick her up from her audition. If Logan's here, then where…" Jo said softly.
"I don't know, Jo. I don't know," Kendall said, his voice lacking its usual confidence.
"She wasn't outside with the other survivors," James stated.
I started to understand why Spirit Logan had brought me here; he wanted me to see how much the others would miss me. He wanted to show me that I couldn't leave them behind too.
"Maybe she escaped," Carlos suggested, hopefully.
"That doesn't make sense. Why would she leave Logan behind? Besides, even if she had escaped, why isn't she answering her phone? I already tried calling her countless times," Jo said.
I gasped in horror. I thought back to when my phone went off before when I wasn't even supposed to have it in the first place. That's where everything started to go downhill real quick. If it wasn't for that call, I wouldn't have been shot, and neither would…Logan still could have been alive. He lied for me. He tried to protect me. Because of that, he…
I clenched my hands into fists. I was practically shaking with rage. I couldn't even look at Jo the same way anymore. This was all her fault! If she had never called me…How could she do this to me? To Logan? Does she have any idea what happened because of her? Does she even care?
"Of course she cares. She had no idea this would happen, Camille. I know you're really upset, and you want to blame as many people as you can for what happened, but this wasn't Jo's fault. She didn't shoot you. She didn't shoot me. She only called because she was worried about you; because she was wondering where you were. She called because she cared about you. She still does. It would have been worse if she didn't call you at all. Don't you think?" Spirit Logan asked me.
"No! Hmm…you dying or you being alive? I think I much rather have you alive! Will you stop reading my mind? My thoughts are my own!" I shouted at Spirit Logan.
"You're her best friend. Once upon a time, she was your best friend too. If you want to blame somebody, why don't you blame me? I didn't have to take you to the bank when I did. I could have left the bank when you wanted to, but I didn't. If you think about it that way, it's my fault that you got shot. It's my fault that I got shot. It's my fault that I…" Spirit Logan started to say.
"Don't! Don't you dare finish that sentence! Don't you even think it! It's not your fault that I got shot! It's not your fault that you got shot either! You're being ridiculous!"
"So are you! If it's ridiculous that this all was my fault, then how is it not ridiculous that this is all Jo's fault?"
"Why are you defending her? After what she did to you…"
"That's just it, Camille! She didn't do anything to me! Honestly, I'd hate to see you lose your friendship with her over something that was no one's fault to begin with."
I dramatically turned my head away from Spirit Logan. I knew he was right deep down. He was always right, and I hated it. I just…I wanted Logan back in the land of the living. Was that so wrong? My vision clouded with tears. I was so confused. How could I even be crying if I wasn't really at the bank in the first place? I had no clue where I was. Was I dreaming? Was I in Heaven? But how could I be in Heaven if I was still alive? Unless I really did pull the trigger…
"You didn't pull the trigger. You're still very much alive, Camille," Spirit Logan said.
I heard a heart-wrenching scream. For a second, I thought it had come from me. Then, I realized that it had originated from Carlos. He had wrestled himself free from James' embrace, and had snuggled up next to Logan, with his head resting on his chest. His helmet rocked back and forth on the floor beside him, having fallen off his head.
Carlos was frantically shaking Logan's lifeless body. Tears fell down the sides of his face in torrents, drenching Logan's corpse in salty tears. I felt so bad. I don't think I had ever seen Carlos this sad before. Heck, I don't think I have ever even seen him sad before! I was so used to him being cheerful and practically bouncing off the walls with his excited energy.
Then I started to think to myself. Losing Logan, they had already suffered such a devastating loss. How could I even contemplate making them suffer even more by taking my own life?
"Logie, come on! We gotta go home! Please wake up! Please?" Carlos screamed before he completely lost it. He couldn't even hold his head up anymore. He just kind of collapsed on top of Logan's body. From head to toe, he was trembling like a leaf. The sound of his sobs rang through my ears over and over again. I plugged my ears, hoping to drown the sound out, but it somehow got even louder.
James stormed out of the bank.
"James, wait!" Kendall called out.
"Come on," Spirit Logan said, as we followed the pair.
James was pacing back and forth, his hands balled tightly in fists; so tightly that his knuckles turned white. All the color seemed to have been drained from his face. He kept muttering unintelligible words under his breath.
"Hey, are you okay?" Kendall asked.
"Am I okay? Do I look okay?" James snapped. "This is wrong, Kendall! This is so wrong!"
"I know."
"Why did this happen? How could someone kill so many people in cold blood? Logan wanted to be a doctor. Now he'll never get the chance! What are we supposed to do now? It's always been the four of us!"
"I don't know, James. I don't know."
I thought I was kind of being selfish, but I was kind of upset that the only person they seemed to care about was Logan. Was this why Logan wanted to show me this? To somehow prove that he mattered to them more than I did?
"That's not why!" Spirit Logan exclaimed.
I rounded on him, and glared daggers at his transparent form.
"Then why? It was bad enough when I lost you. Do you really think it was necessary to watch them lose you too?" I shouted.
"Keep watching," Spirit Logan told me.
I turned back around just in time to see James pull out his cell phone. With trembling fingers, he punched in some numbers in the keypad. Then, he held the phone against his ear. What was he doing? Who was he calling?
"Camille, where are you? We're all worried about you. I'm worried about you. Call me back so that I know that you're okay. If you're not, call me back anyways so I know what I can do to help. I…I…lost Logan, and I'll be damned if I lose anyone else!" James said.
"James," Kendall said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "Jo already tried calling her."
"Yeah, so? When's the last time she tried calling her? Besides, it wouldn't hurt if I tried too, right? Don't you see? Something's wrong here, Kendall. Very wrong! Camille's not with the survivors; she's not one of those bodies in there covered up with a sheet either. She's missing, Kendall. She wouldn't just leave Logan behind. Not if she could help it. What if she's hurt? What if she's dying? What if she's been kidnapped?"
"We don't know that, James."
"Fine. Then what's your explanation, Kendall?"
"I don't know."
James brushed past Kendall, clenched his right hand into a fist, and punched the nearest wall of the building. He punched clean through the wall, and when he pulled out his fist, his knuckles were all torn and bloodied.
"James," Kendall said sympathetically.
Several tears fell from James' eyes. I honestly wasn't sure if they were all tears of sadness. I'm pretty sure some of them were tears of anger as well.
"I should have saved him, Kendall. I've always been his protector since we were little just like you've always been Carlos' protector. I let Logan down," James mumbled.
"James, there's nothing you could have done," Kendall replied, trying to reason with James.
"Isn't there? I could have went with him when he went to pick up Camille from her audition. Maybe if I had, he'd still be alive. Camille wouldn't be missing…or worse."
"There's no way you could have known that something like this would happen."
James made a beeline for the parking lot.
"James, where are you going?" Kendall asked, following him.
"I'm going to find her; I'm going to find Camille. I owe it to Logan to find her and bring her home safely," James answered.
"Do you even know where she is?"
"No, but I can't do nothing, Kendall! Maybe you can, but I can't! I won't!"
"I really don't think it's a good idea for you to drive in your condition."
James stared at Kendall with wide eyes. Much to my surprise, he even let out a small chuckle…at first. Then, he started to cry even harder than before.
"It sounds like something Logan would say," James said glumly.
Kendall flinched.
"Well, let me get the others, and we'll all go look for Camille…together," Kendall said.
James nodded his head without saying a word. As Kendall went back inside the bank, James' legs gave out on him. He fell to his knees, buried his face in his hands and gave into his emotions; letting his tears fall freely.
I turned to Spirit Logan. I wasn't sure what expression I had on my face, but I'm sure it was one of horror.
"Is this happening now? Or has this already happened? Do they find me?" I asked, desperation in my voice.
"You're watching this live. They haven't set off to find you yet, but they soon will. They're looking for you, Camille. Don't give up, Camille. Don't lose hope. Give them someone to find; not just another dead body. Keep on fighting. If not for you, then do it for them; do it for me," Spirit Logan said.
I suddenly found myself back at the hotel, gun still in my mouth, finger over the trigger. Without giving it a second thought, I pulled the gun out of my mouth, and set it on the dresser. I was so confused. If we had been watching it as it happened, how did Logan know what to show me? Did I hear him wrong, or did I hear him say that the others would find me?
"Logan? Where are you?" I called out, looking to my left and then to my right.
I saw the window was open, and the curtain was blowing in the night breeze.
To Be Continued…
A/N: I should really stop setting expectations for each chapter. I never live up to them. I hype up one chapter to be something special, only to have it fall short in my eyes. I said this chapter would be pretty sad, but I have a feeling it wasn't even remotely sad. Sorry for this poor excuse of a chapter…