Chapter 10—A New Life

Carlos's alarm went off at 5. I get up with him. I am too nervous to sleep. I go into the bathroom and read the directions for the pregnancy test. I took one a few years ago when I thought I was pregnant with Joe's child. I wasn't at the time, thank God. I pee on the stick and wait three minutes. It comes up positive. I'm so excited to have a new life growing inside me, but I'm petrified that it's not Carlos's. With Carlos, I can face anything, but I don't want to raise Joe's or Jose's kid and don't want Carlos to have to do that either. I walk out of the bathroom to see Carlos sitting on the bed, a bundle of nerves.

"Well?" He asks.

"I'm pregnant." He runs to me and lifts me up and gives me a huge kiss. "We don't even know who the father is! How can you be so excited when this child may not be yours?"

"Babe, my Abuela called last night after you fell asleep. She called to tell me she had a dream that you were with child, my child. I told her what happened and the questions we have. She said she knows that this is my child. I did some research and found out that we can get a paternity test as early as eight weeks into your pregnancy. You are almost there now, so we can find out, for sure, soon. Why don't you make an appointment with your doctor and we'll find out how far along you are? Once you hit eight weeks, we'll get a test done. I'll put in for rush results, which we'll get within 12-72 hours."

"I sincerely hope your Abuela is right, Carlos. But I can't get super excited until I know for sure."

He left the gym, and I decided to start my day. I take a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. I begin to daydream about what our child would look like, with Carlos's hair and my eyes. I think about what my mom would say. Carlos and I are engaged, but I don't think I want to marry him before I have the baby. I want to clear up this mess first, and then we can talk about a date. I hope that I am a good mother. I'm not sure I even know HOW to be a good mother. Ella comes in and sits across from me. "Mi hija, are you okay? You look a little lost."

I look into her eyes and see her concern. Here is my mother. "I'm not sure. I took a pregnancy test and found out that I am pregnant. The problem is, I don't know who the father is. I conceived this child at a time when I had sex with Joe, made love with Ranger, and was raped. I am praying that Ranger is the father because that is what I want the most. I could deal with it be Morelli's child because, at one point in time, we did love each other, but I don't think I can keep this child if the father is Jose." I admitted my biggest fear to Ella. "I think I would have an abortion, which is against my upbringing and moral code, but I don't think I could truly love a child that was a product of rape. I would also consider adoption, but again, it would be hard to carry this child for nine months and then give them away. I'm so conflicted. Ranger is convinced that the child is his, and I want to share his optimism, but we would have to wait at least another week or two to find out for certain. If it's not his, I'm afraid he'll be devastated."

"Mi hija, I understand how you feel. You have every right to be scared and unsure. But know this. Regardless of who this child belongs to biologically, the child is already Ranger's. He will never abandon you or your child. Whatever you decide, he will support you."

"I know that which is what makes it even harder for me. I have learned that I was never really loved like I should have been, which is why it's so difficult for me to accept this unconditional love from Ranger, and you. You have become my mother in these last few weeks. I am so grateful to you." I hug Ella and kiss her cheek. She kisses me back.

"You have become the daughter I never had but always wanted. You make Ranger so happy, happier than I have ever seen him." It seems she finally sees the ring on my finger. "He finally asked you, huh? Took him long enough." She gave me a big hug. "Congratulations, mi hija."

We heard the door open, and a sweaty Carlos walked in. "I see you got a good workout in."

Ella walked over to him, and said: "It's about time you are making an honest woman out of Stephanie, and I know that you will be great parents." With that, she left.

"I hope you don't mind I told her, Carlos."

"No, I don't. It seems Ella has become your surrogate mother and you, her daughter."

With that, he went to take a shower. Part of me wanted to join him, but I wasn't ready for shower games just yet. Last night was terrific, but I'm still apprehensive about being with him again. The physical part of our relationship is so important and such a big part that it's hard being without it.

He finishes and comes out. We head to the conference room together.

"Bobby, are you ready to go get some skips today?" I ask once we enter.

"Yeah, it's been two days since food has been thrown at me, I've been shot at, or I'd had to chase someone down. I'm getting bored."

"Always the joker," I add with a laugh. The guys are used to Carlos and I holding hands and don't even look twice. I sit down and get ready for the update. The only one missing is Monica. Monica has quickly become my best friend. She is beautiful, with long, straight blond hair, dark brown eyes, and an olive complexion that makes me look pale in comparison. I know she is the right person to use to set up Morelli. I just wish he'd take the bait already.

The door opens, and Monica walks in. "He finally took the bait. We have a date for Friday night." She looks at me, "You have to help me coordinate my wardrobe…holy cow! Congratulations! He finally asked you?" She runs over to me and gives me a big hug. We look around the room at the guys who have no idea what she's talking about, who didn't notice the rock on my finger. We look at each other and roll our eyes, "Men" we say in unison. She goes over to Ranger and hugs him and says "It's about time. What took you so long?"

Finally, Tank bites the bullet and asks what the rest of the guys are missing. "Monica, what are you talking about? What are we missing?"

"Don't you see this rock on Stephanie's hand? Ranger proposed to her and she accepted. Goodness, if it isn't a gun, you don't see anything." She shook her head and laughed.

The guys looked back and forth from me to Ranger before he acknowledges the announcement and confirmed with a nod. "Last night, I asked Stephanie to become my wife and she said yes." My men immediately surround me, all hugging me and kissing me and giving Ranger high fives and fist pumps. "I never thought we'd see this day with Ranger's ring on your finger. How are we going ever to get used to a new Boss?" Lester said.

"Maybe now we'll get some cookies every once in a while," Hal added.

"Very funny, all of you, but we have work to do." Ranger got them back on track but he had a small smile on his face.

I turn to Monica. "Where is Morelli taking you?"

"He said this restaurant Rossini's. It's apparently a nice Italian restaurant here in Trenton."

"It is, they have good food and good dessert. For your outfit, we need to go borderline slut. A dress, low cut and form fitting, maybe halfway down your thigh, and of course, FMPs."

"He is that stereotypical? So disappointing. If you don't mind me asking, if I do wind up in his bedroom, will it worth it, at least?"

I look at Carlos, and look at Monica and say "He's no Batman, but he's good. He has some skills, tends to be playful before turning serious. He likes to be in control and on top always. He is also very open to a variety of positions, some of which you may not be open to trying. He never pushed me, but he did try often."

"Okay, good to know. Does Joe have condoms?"

"He did while we were together because I insisted upon it, but I would bring some anyway. Not having a condom would not be a game stopper for him." I sighed. "He has been with almost every woman in the Burg within two years of him, mostly his age and younger. He was, and is, a playboy who is idolized by the older Burg woman since he became a cop, inherited his house, and got a dog. He's arrogant to believe that the Sun rises and sets around Joe Morelli and that everyone woman in the world wants to be in his bed, and that he is the best lover in the world, which I can tell you, while he is good, he is not the best."

"Okay. I can handle Joe. It's good to know what I'm up against so I can prepare. Is he into water sports?"

"Yes, he is, and he can be pretty good there too, but lacks the stamina there. He's better on dry land." I look at Carlos and can see he's not happy with this conversation. Monica sees it too. She's the first to react. "Ranger, this is a mission, and during a mission, operatives need to know what they are up against. If this were me talking about an ex-lover, you'd be fine with it. Don't give Stephanie grief because she has to share, and share in front of the other operatives. We are all professionals. Get over your embarrassment and anger and get focused on the mission."

"Monica, you're right. I just don't like sharing."

"You aren't. Do you think Steph is enjoying this? I know that we'd be much happier talking about her fiancé in the bedroom while having girl time than talking about this playboy." With that, Monica looked at me and I at her and we both nodded and laughed. We will talk about his magic in the future.

Tank and the other guys chuckled and Carlos was embarrassed at the thought of me sharing his abilities in the bedroom. It was a sweet emotion to see him have. I recovered first. "Here's the plan. Monica, I need to you to make Joe think that you are totally into him and are looking for a potential husband. You need to ask about any previous relationships he might have had and try to find out why such a hottie like him is still available. You want to make him think you can't understand why any woman wouldn't want to be his wife. If you feed his ego, he should open up and we will probably be able to find out information we need. I don't know how many dates you'll need to go on, but I do think that you will need at least two to three. Are you sure you can handle him?"

"Yes. Now I have to go shopping to get the perfect dress for my date. Where is the best place to go around here?

"Quakerbridge Mall. They have a Macys and a Victoria's Secret." I answer quickly. "I would go with you, but we can't be seen together."

"I'll buy a few different dresses and then I'll bring them back here to show you. I think I'll also ask Joe about places to get a job. I told him I did research for a PI firm in Connecticut and that I'm looking for a similar position here. I'll see if he recommends RangeMan. If he still wants Steph, I could see him doing that to try to get a spy in here or to try and get Ranger to dump Steph. Just wait until he finds out you are engaged!"

"Make sure to put any expenses on a voucher. RangeMan will cover the cost. Don't worry about the price." Carlos told her.

"Woo Hoo! Can't wait to go shopping!" With that, she ran out of the room.

"Bobby, are you ready to go to the bond office?" I ask.

"Yup, let's hit the road, Hotshot." He looked at Ranger, "Don't worry; I have a will and all my affairs in order should you find it necessary to kill me. Just let me have one phone call first." We ran out of the room.

Outside the conference room, I told Bobby to head downstairs. I had to stop up at seven to get my purse and I had to make an appointment. I got up to seven and called my gynecologist. I explain my situation and get an appoint for next Friday. Ten more days until the pregnancy is confirmed, and about 12 until I know if Carlos is the father. I text Carlos with the appointment time and tell him I love him. I ride the elevator to the garage and step out to see Bobby and Monica having what looks like an argument. I hit the fob for my car and she gets in her car and leaves. Bobby seems upset. He gets into my car and I get in and drive to the bond office.

"Bobby, I know it's none of my business, but what's going on between you and Monica? I can sense that you have a history together and that you obviously love her. Does this have anything to do with what she has to do with Morelli?"

"Yes, I'm not happy that she's willing to sleep with him for the better good. I know that it won't mean anything to her and that she'll be helping you, but it still hurts. I don't know how Ranger stays so cool while you are doing distractions. It pisses me off to see those men touch my sister, but to do that to my woman, I don't think I could watch it."

"I understand. I don't think that I could watch Ranger do a distraction, either, but sometimes, we need to deal with things we don't like to find out answers we need."

"Are you happy being engaged to Ranger? I didn't think you wanted to get married again."

"Yes. I'm so happy. I think part of my fear of commitment was that I was afraid I'd commit to the wrong person. I loved Morelli, but I not as a potential husband. More as a friend with benefits. From talking with the doc, I realized that I have been in love with Ranger for a long time now, and deep down, I know that the only man I wanted to marry was Ranger. He kept telling me that marriage was not an option for him, which was pushing me towards marrying Joe even though I knew I wouldn't be happy. The title 'wife' was more important than being happy. I figured I'd learn to love Joe and be happy as the good Burg wife."

"Then I am even more excited for you. Are you going to tell your parents and sister?"

"At some point. Maybe when I decide to out Valerie and her affair; as much as I don't want to hurt Albert because he is a good man, Valerie deserves to have her reputation ruined for sleeping with my boyfriend."

We arrive at the bond office and I park in front. I get out of the car with Bobby. We enter. "Hey, Connie, who do we have to get today?"

Lula sees my ring and squeals "OMG! You are engaged?! To Officer Hottie or Batman?"

I sigh and roll my eyes. "Lula, who have I been living with for the last two months? To Ranger, of course. He proposed last night and I accepted. We haven't set a date yet. We are probably going to have a long engagement."

She jumps up and hugs me and looks at the ring on my hand. "Damn, girlfriend, you can probably sell this ring and buy a house if things don't work out for you and Batman."

At this point, Bobby jumps in "I don't think that is something that will ever happen. If you only saw the two of them together over that last two months, you'd know that they perfect for each other. They are constantly holding hands and have too many PDAs." Connie was annoyed but was trying to act happy. Lula still seems to be unsure of our commitment. I didn't want to deal with their negativity.

"So, Connie, where are the files?"

"Right here. No repeat offenders." I take them from her and look at Bobby. We are about to leave when Vinnie comes into the office. "Stephanie, Bobby, so glad to see you. You need to get the losers. I'm bleeding money here."

"Vinnie, we've been bringing the skips in within two days of getting the file. You're bleeding nothing." Bobby responds.

"Both of you, come into my office. I have an FTA Ranger. He asked me to give you the file and the particulars."

"Who is it?" Connie demanded. "All FTAs are supposed to be assigned to me. I didn't see or hear of any high bonds."

"This is from a friend of mine. The skip is from California and is visiting family here. He sent me the information at my house. And last time I checked, I am the boss here, Connie."

Bobby and I follow Vinnie into his office. "Here's the video and audio from the FTA's office. I've also got eyes and ears on FTA in their car and home. I have that here as well. Tell Ranger I appreciate him taking this guy on for me."

"No problem."

"Now go get them!"

With that, Bobby and I leave the office and wait until we're in my car. Bobby does the bug check and comes up with two. We drive to Tasty Pastry, where I get a donut order from Bobby while he removes the bugs. He checks me and I check him. We find one in my pocket. We remove it. Then we head back to RangeMan. I have Bobby read me the files and we construct a plan of attack. I text Carlos to tell him we've been bugged and to have Hector meet us in the garage for another check.

I drive into the garage and Hector is waiting next to my spot. He has his detectors ready and first sweeps me again. Hector sees an additional bug on me. He also finds one on Bobby. Once cleared, we go into the elevator. I text Bobby to go to his apartment to get changed as a precaution and I go up to seven to do the same. I put the clothes in a bag to give to Hector to go over with a fine tooth come in the secure room. Bobby does the same. Once we get rid of our clothes, we go into the conference room.

"Those bitches bugged me. They put at least two devices on both Bobby and me. We got changed and gave our clothes to Hector to double check. They also bugged my car." I was livid.

"Babe, this is crazy. I think you need to quit Vinnie. The bond office isn't safe for you. You can go work for Sebring if you want to continue to go after skips, or I can just start writing bonds and you can go after them for me. I've been thinking of doing it for a while."

"I have been thinking about quitting Vinnie a lot recently, especially after I found out that Connie screwed me over. But I need to wait and see what happens in the next two weeks." Carlos knew what I was saying, but the rest of the guys didn't know.

Hector came in. "Tres mas."

"She must be desperate. How did they take it when they saw that we were engaged?"

"Connie looked pissed off and Lula didn't think it would last. She asked if I was engaged to 'Batman or Officer Hottie.' It made my stomach turn. Vinnie walked in and gave us an FTA for you if you can read between the lines."

Ranger took the file from me. "Where are the other files?"

"We left them in the car so Hector could check them. I had Bobby read the files to me in the car and we developed a plan of action for going after the skips. Nothing that would give Connie information we didn't want her to have."

"Good." Tank said.

"I need to get a line on Burg gossip. I want to know how many people know that we are engaged." I get my cell phone and call my grandmother. "Hi, Grandma Mazur. How are you?"

"Stephanie, is it true you're engaged to Ranger?"

"How did you find out? I was just calling to tell you."

"Well, apparently Connie called her mother, who called Joe's mother, who called your mother to rant and rave how your broke Joe's heart and she had to get you to break off the engagement and marry Joe. Your mom called Valerie and me, and then took calls from half the Burg. It's quite scandalous."

"What exactly are the women of the Burg saying?"

"That you are destroying your family by marrying that thug and that he is forcing you into marriage. They say because you are always with Bobby when you are out that he is holding you against your will."

I roll my eyes. "What do you think?"

"Are you happy Stephanie?"

"Yes, more than I ever thought I could be."

"Then I am happy for you. Ranger will let you fly. Joe will cut off your wings." Grandma paused, "Ranger is the man for you and has always been since the day you met. Go with your heart. You are nothing like your mother. You're like me. Don't settle just to satisfy the Burg."

"Thank you, Grandma. Oh, one more thing, I've heard rumors that Val is pregnant. Is that true?"

"Yes, she is. She's about five, six months along. I don't think Albert's the father. He wasn't home when she was impregnated. I think she had an affair. She swears the baby is Albert's, but he doubts it, and so does everyone else."

"What does mom have to say?"

"Well, until it is proven otherwise, your mother is defending Val. Albert and Val are going to a paternity test today. She'll get the results next week."

"Bye Grandma. I'll take you out for lunch in a day or two to show you the ring."

"Bye Steph. And give that stud muffin of yours a kiss from me." With that, she hung up.

"Well, the Burg know we are engaged but think that you're brainwashed me into accepting. Valerie announced her pregnancy, and there is talk that the baby isn't Albert's, enough that they are going to get a paternity test tomorrow."

"Hector, can you hack into the system?"

"Sì."

"Good. That information will be helpful." Carlos paused, "Do you know who her doctor is?"

"Yes, and I hated him, so I never used him after one visit. He was weird." I answered.

"Well, I guess you and Bobby should research those skips and make sure everything is on the up and up and Hector, Lester, and Cal will review what Vinnie gave you. We'll reconvene at three o'clock." Carlos finished. "Stephanie, can I talk to you in my office for a moment."

We walk into his office and he closes the door. The moment it's closed he has my back against the door and he is kissing me. He pulls away "Sorry, I didn't get a chance this morning. I keep thinking about last night. Do you want to go upstairs for lunch?"

I laugh and roll my eyes. "I don't think it's a good idea. I'm not sure I'm ready to be with you again tonight. I wanted to join you in the shower, but I couldn't bring myself to it."

"It's fine. I've been speaking to Dr. Hendrickson as well. This lack of intimacy, especially when we are committed to each other is hard to me. He explained that his was normal for a victim of rape and that it would take time before we were back to normal. I'm just afraid that you don't want to be with me at all. That you no longer desire me, and I know it's selfish, but I need to know that you still want me."

"Carlos, I want you as much as I always have, maybe more. I know I can't live without you. I know that if it weren't for you, I probably would be in a hospital. I wouldn't be able to deal and cope without you. And now, knowing that I'm pregnant and not knowing for sure who the father of my child is, I don't think I could handle it." I stop and sigh. "I know this is hard for you, and I appreciate your control and your honesty. I think once we find out the results of the paternity test next week, I'll be able to heal even more. However, I'm afraid someone will try and mess with our samples. Do you know someone else who could do the test? Someone, who you trust explicitly?"

"Yes, Monica. She's a medic and can pull the blood and send out the test under aliases. Do you want me to ask her?"

"No, I'll do it. Monica already knows I suspect I'm pregnant. She got the test for me." I continued, "I hope you don't mind, but she has become a sister to me, and sometimes these things are easier to discuss with a sister. You need to be careful with Bobby when she is with Morelli. Talk to him before putting him on the scene. He and Monica were an item before, and I think they want to try out a relationship again, and he is having difficulty with her doing this assignment. He told me he doesn't understand how you can sit there and watch me during a distraction and stay so cool."

"I thought so. I'll talk to Bobby before that night and make sure he can keep his cool. As it is, I'm already planning on having you on the desk here in control that night. You can't be around. Morelli will get suspicious if you are, and Bobby is your partner, so it's only natural that you would be together."

"I don't like it, but I'll go along with it. It's what makes the most sense." I kiss Carlos. "Let me get back to helping Bobby."

I leave and head to the office that I share with Bobby.

Monica returns at two from shopping and we go to seven so she can show me what she purchased. She has a purple cocktail dress with purple FMPs that remind me of the shoes I bought when Joe and I first reconnected. He loved those pumps, and I felt that would be the best outfit for her to wear on date night. I told her what Bobby told me, and she sighed.

"That was one of the reasons why I went to Boston instead of here. He didn't want me doing distractions. Maybe if Ranger talks to Bobby, he'll be better, but he shouldn't be on-site or too near me."

"As of this afternoon, Bobby and I are on the control desk here. Ranger wants me here, and being that Bobby is my partner, he will be here with me." I look at the clock. "We have to be downstairs in five, but I just want to let you know that I am pregnant. Carlos and I would like you to do the paternity test. I go to my doctor next Friday to officially confirm my pregnancy and to find out a due date. Once I know that I am at least eight weeks, we'll have you run the test. I don't trust anyone outside of here not to screw the results. I need them to be accurate. However, it may turn out."

"No problem, Steph. You want them run under aliases, I assume."

"Yes. That would be best."

"I'll set everything up for you two. And Steph, I know that it will be Carlos's. After everything you've been through, I can't see fate being that cruel to you."