On a day like this

Disclaimer: The characters and other things from The Chronicles of Narnia don't belong to me (sadly). Credit goes to those who do.

The sun had not yet risen when Susan got up from bed. The world outside was still blanketed in darkness, save for a few lampposts that shone dimly. She looked out the window and saw that her neighbor was up and about as well. Susan allowed a pained smile to grace her face for at least none of it was a dream and he thought as well that no second of this day was to be wasted.

Susan went on autopilot, mechanically cleaning up and fixing her room, pausing only for a while to write a short note to Lucy.

Lucy,

I'll be out today. Tell mother I've finished packing and I'll be back for our trip. I just need to say goodbye to some old friends.

You know who I'll be with. You know why I need to see him and what I need him to know. He deserves to know this time. Whether or not it will change anything, I need to tell him I love him.

Your sister,

Susan

She folded the note and put it on her small desk in plain view. Taking a deep breath she walked slowly down the stairs, clenching her fists then releasing it gently. She opened the door and stepped out to find her neighbor already waiting.

Caspian smiled at her, his eyes glassy with unshed tears, as if he's seeing her for the first time after a long separation. He bit his lip and held out a hand to her, which she hesitantly took. He pulled her into a tight embrace, speaking softly in her ear.

"This was how it should have been, how I imagined it would be when I saw you again."

Susan could only smile through her tears as she pulled away from him. She could not find her voice. There was no need for it. Caspian touched his forehead to hers and looked deep into her eyes as he wiped away her tears.

"Let's take a walk?" he asked

"Where will we go?"

"The swings at the park." Caspian said

Susan nodded and followed his lead, taking his hand as she did so.

They walked in silence, like a spell was cast over them and everything that lay ahead was suspended in time so they could simply be. It's the first time they were ever together just like this, without threat of war or of disjointed memories hanging over them.

Early streaks of daylight burst through the clouds as they found their way to the swings. They sat next to each other, hands clinging to the chains, as they watched the morning unfold before them.

"I used to play here as a child. I remember asking Peter to push me as hard as he could and I'd hold on with all my might. It wasn't long after that it was Lucy asking me to do the same thing." Susan said sounding wistful at the memory

"It must have been wonderful having all that company growing up. There will always be someone looking out for you." Caspian said

Susan laughed, "I must say you won't feel that way when the lack of privacy becomes a constant. I agree though there is never a moment that I feel as if I have to take on the world by myself, even if since I left Narnia I tried."

"The lies always catch up to you," Caspian said looking distant, "you convince yourself everyday that you're moving on. You tell yourself that you've hit bottom and your heart can't break any further than it already has. You wake up the next morning to a world that seems unchanged and you find that it shattered a bit more when you woke up from your dream."

Susan was numb as she recalled her own pain. It was exactly as he described and even now the echo of that hurt lingered in her heart. She reached out to place a hand on top of his.

"Your hand is different but somehow it feels like yours already." Susan commented, "Even your voice, it has changed."

"A welcome side effect of the past 18 hours" Caspian said grinning ear to ear much like the boy John she had come to appreciate. He stood up and held both her hands in his, a smile still plastered on his face.

"Come on. There's a carnival nearby. We'll spend the day having fun. We don't think about the past, about tomorrow or anything beyond that. Today I just want to be happy with you." Caspian said.

"Sounds like a plan to me." Susan said with a smile gracing her own face

"Okay, race you there?" Caspian said already jogging away.

"What? I don't know where it is!" she said laughing as she ran after him

Adam heard the laughter from the open window of his bedroom. He stopped drawing and looked out to see Susan and Caspian chasing each other down the street, blissfully untroubled by anything.

The boy smiled and continued to draw the image from his latest dream. It was different from the different pictures he had drawn before, for this one was not in Narnia. It showed the king turning the lock, ready to return to his home. It showed only him.

"My aim is better than I thought," Caspian said to Susan as he won her a prize tossing rings onto a bottle about a meter from him.

"Your aim is lucky," Susan countered, her face flushed from all the games they played.

They bantered, laughed and enjoyed each other's company. Hand in hand they went around the small complex, eating and taking in everything around them.

"Ferris wheel?" Caspian said a boyish gleam in his eyes, dragging Susan after him.

They sat next to each other on the ride. Suddenly in close proximity to one another, Caspian felt conscious and was unsure how to act. Susan sighed as they started to go up and leaned her head on his shoulder. Out of instinct, Caspian place his arm around her and she adjusted to the new position. Her heart soared at the feeling of contentment of just being around him.

The carriage jerked and stalled when it got to the peak. Susan sat up in attention, worried something was wrong until she felt Caspian chuckling under his breath.

"I paid the operator to stall for five minutes. I wanted to see what all the fuss about this world is about," he said by way of explanation.

"You could have warned me!" Susan said lightly punching him.

"And miss the expression on your face? Never!" Caspian said laughing once more. He smiled at her and brushed her hair out of her face before he spoke.

"You could never truly hide what you felt. Fear, anger, relief, disappointment, happiness, resignation—all these I've seen on your face since I met you. For someone like me," Caspian said, "who grew up quite alone and in the midst of traitorous relatives, it was quite difficult to trust people. I never did know where I stood for I never saw truth. That day in the woods, when I first saw you, I was surprised that a woman could show such emotion."

"Do you want to know when I first realized I could trust you?" he asked, "Remember that day when I was tempted by the White Witch? You came in when it was all over and disappointment was written all over your face. There was no attempt to lie and pretend that it was alright, that everyone made mistakes. I knew then you would allow me to be myself, face the world head on and bear the truth even when it was painful."

"Your world is beautiful in its own right, my queen. I'm glad to have known it. I think I understand you better for it and why you need to still explore other parts of this earth. Aslan was right. It's time for you to live in your own time and world." Caspian said holding her hand in his, close to his heart. He closed his eyes as the ride started again slowly taking them back to the ground. He didn't want her to see his pain. He just wanted her to understand that he knew her decision and he has accepted it. Today is all that mattered for now.

The guardian watched the couple and though she respected his decision, her heart bled for them. She understood the call of duty and the sense of right. She understood the Gentle Queen's desire to do right by her family and by Aslan's wisdom. It did not mean however that it was easy, good intentions did not always lead to a happy ending.

"The king and queen have defied the odds." said the lion from behind her

The guardian bowed deeply before the great king of Narnia. "But they have decided, my liege, to part ways. It is noble."

"Allow the day to unfold. The deep magic will guide them. It is not yet too late. They have fears still in their hearts. They have not seen how love can blur the lines between reason and right, the heart and the mind."

She bowed once more as Aslan blew into the ear of Susan in the image before them.

"Choose with a free heart. Trust the deep magic will set things right by your decision. Listen to what calls you to be happy to the end of your days."


Susan heard Aslan's voice in her mind or in the wind, it didn't matter to her how, but she knew the message was for her.

"It's hard Aslan. I'm afraid to jump. I'm too far out to turn around now." Susan thought silently.

She expected and received no reply. Caspian held her arm steady as they stepped down from the Ferris wheel. Susan looked up at him and said thanks before walking a bit faster than her companion.

"Whoa, slow down!" Caspian called after her, "Is something wrong?"

"No, I just. I just need to think. Let's go somewhere quiet." Susan said anxiously.

They walked to a small clearing on top of a small hill just behind the carnival grounds. Susan sat in front of Caspian and took deep breaths as the young man watched her worriedly.

"Do you want me to take you home?" he asked.

"No! I mean no. I'm fine. I just need to calm down." Susan said.

Caspian nodded and proceeded to lie flat on the ground next to her and stared at the sky above them.

"Lie down. I want to show you something. It will help you clear your mind," he said

"Look," he continued after she followed his instruction, "doesn't that look just like Cair Paravel?"

Caspian was pointing to an oddly shaped cloud formation. Susan laughed and shook her head.

"It does not! But wait that looks just like our DLF."

"True and I think that one would pass for your horn," he replied

"Ooh! That one looks like a bear!" Susan said

"Or a snowman…" he said

"You're being silly Caspian."

He gasped realizing that it was the first time she acknowledged his identity. It shocked him. He felt elated yet at the same time fear crept in now that all the cards were on the table.

Susan heard his reaction and sucked in her own breath. It was finally out there, if there was still any doubt, it was eliminated with just one word.

"You never told me how you finally figured it out." Susan inquired gently, testing if he had gotten his bearings together

"Adam, it was him." Caspian said slowly, "I saw him again in the park. We talked. I took him home and he showed me his drawings, of his dreams." He paused, "Can you imagine your entire life in pictures all over a little boy's room. Every single memory in my being, every dream I've had since I got here and every drawing flashed in my mind like I was going through each experience again."

She absorbed the information, her heart filled with pity for what he had to go through. Susan tried to imagine the shock and the confusion that must have accompanied it all but she could not. She tried to place herself in his shoes but even that scared her. Susan respected him more for getting through the ordeal without losing himself in the process. She wanted to commend him on this but he spoke first.

"When will you ask me why I'm here, how I even came to your world?" Caspian said

"I'm afraid to find out Caspian," she admitted, "Cause then you'll have to answer other things I'm not sure I want to know."

Susan took a deep breath before speaking once more, "Is she still waiting for you? When do you have to leave? There, four questions."

She closed her eyes and listened to his voice as he began his tale, etching everything in her memory as if her life depended on it.

"No, she's not waiting for me. She was the one who gave me this key, the one that would let me into your world. Of course, it wasn't as simple as just opening a door. The moment I stepped through I wasn't myself anymore, as you well know. In truth, I have no idea how long I've been John. I only know that I am Caspian, King of Narnia and my people need me now."

Susan held her eyes tightly shut, willing the tears to go away on their own. It was as if all her dreams were coming true and within reach but she was slipping and her fingers could only brush against it.

"That's just three," she whispered hoarsely, "You didn't answer one question. Why did you come?"

"Because I love you." Caspian said simply. He had nothing else beyond that. There was no other reason truer than what he gave her. And the dam inside her broke free and she sat up to hug her knees to her chest as she wept openly. She cried for girl who waited so long to hear those words, she shed tears for the tiredness she felt after all they went through, but mostly she wept for the future in their grasp that she was about to throw away.

Caspian placed a finger under her chin, held up her face to look in her eyes and kissed her gently. It brought them back to the day she first left Narnia when she ran towards him with urgency, struggling to find the words to say farewell and ended up kissing him. She could not say it then for she thought it would only make things harder but now she knew better.

"I love you too." Susan said placing her hand on his cheek, wondering where she will find the courage to tell him goodbye.

They kissed once more, with more urgency and passion, knowing that the day was drawing to a close. There was one place left to go to and night was falling fast. One last chance before they sealed their fate.

"Here it is, hiding in plain sight." Caspian said once again tracing the familiar grooves on the tree just outside the library. It was majestic and imposing against a canopy of darkness with twinkling stars overhead.

Susan was speechless. She had passed by this tree as if it were a mere backdrop to her life, she spent time under it with Caspian even and yet she never regarded it as anything other than what it appeared to be—a tree. But not it seemed to glow from within, its secret to be revealed any second and with it her own fears.

Caspian watched Susan struggle with what to say. He understood her dilemma. She loved him, yes, but not enough to have her throw away what she had accepted to be her role in the world. She was a daughter, a sister and a friend. She had a life here, one that she has struggled to build and rebuild after each visit to Narnia. So he made the choice for her.

"So I guess this is goodbye," he whispered, "at least we had one more day."

Susan stayed still and looked away as tears fell silently from her eyes. She did not want to disappoint her mother and father. But mostly she did not want to leave behind Peter, Edmund and Lucy who will not be returning to Narnia. A life with Caspian was a trade for a life with her family, a kind of existence she never imagined would be.

She faced him and shook her head. "Sorry," she mouthed to him, "I can't."

Caspian closed the gap between them and held her tight to him. "There is nothing to apologize for. Just promise me you'll be happy here."

He turned away from her without waiting for a reply; his tears finding its way to the ground beneath him. Caspian wanted to be strong but each step required Herculean effort. But he had to go, he could not deny who he was any longer and it was time he found his way home.

"Just promise me you'll be happy here."

His words echoed in her mind as she watched him take the key from its chain and walk towards the tree. The world slowed to a halt as she processed everything until a calm descended in her mind.

She would never be happy here, neither would her parents nor her siblings would ever find true contentment for long as they watched her slowly eaten away by her longing for this man. She would never be able to recreate or surpass today or every other moment she had with John or Caspian then and now. She would never be happy here because Caspian would not be here. Suddenly it was easy and she understood why it was simple for him to come here. Love was reason enough. It will carry her to another world, another home where she would be safe in his love.

She took a step forward and another until she reached him, already halfway through.

Caspian turned around, the glow of the portal framing his face, surprised. He looked down and saw Susan's hand in his, clasped tight without intention of letting go.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading this and to those who left reviews. They've truly been quite encouraging and helped me to keep writing. :) There's a bit left in this story so I do hope you keep reading. Enjoy!