Hey everyone. I want to apologize for not answering your reviews. The end of the semester sort of snuck up on me. But I want to let you know that I've read them and I appreciated the hell out of them.

Without further ado... Here's the next installment.

Flashbacks are Italicized

I own nada.

Erin sits on the bed watching Lucy sleep, her belly rising and falling with each breath. The little girl lays sprawled half on top of her, half on the bed. Erin smiles. Lucy sleeps with the same kind of abandon as Jay. The little girl then stretches in her sleep and sticks one hand in the air. Gently, Erin reaches for it. Five small fingers spread wide apart then curl tight around hers. A sudden flood of emotion takes her breath away. It tightens her chest until she can barely breathe.

Wonder, fear, and deep happiness stirs inside her. Erin holds Lucy's hand tightly in her own and says, "I'm so sorry, Lucy." She lays her cheek against Lucy's head and draws her even closer. "Mama is trying to figure things out."

Erin hears a soft knock on her bedroom door, followed by it slowly creaking open. Annie pokes her head in and says, "How's it going?"

"Good." Erin says. "You're still up?"

"I was waiting for Travis," Annie says as she quietly enters the bedroom. "That boy is set on giving me gray hairs."

Erin smiles. "He's a good kid."

"I know." Annie takes a seat on the bed and for a moment she watches Erin and Lucy cuddle together. "You know, I remember when you told me you were pregnant."

Erin smiles sadly, having no recollection of the moment.

"You came over and told me you were pregnant, like you were telling me you were going for a coffee run." Annie smiles at the memory. "Despite your casualness I could tell that you were a bit scared, but really happy. I only got a proper reaction from you when I asked if Jay was the father."

Erin furrows her brown and asks, "Why? Were there other possibilities?"

"No, No…" Annie shakes her head. "I was only teasing."

"Oh," Erin smiles feebly.

"There was no question Jay was the father. According to you, Lucy was born out of a love that transcended all forms of contraception."

They chuckle.

Their laughter slowly fades and Annie is silent for a moment before she says, "He loves you, Erin. And he is really worried about you."

Erin hears Annie's words and tries not to let them pierce her heart. "I don't want to hurt him."

"Well, you're doing quite the opposite by hiding here."

"I'm not hiding. I'm just….I'm trying to figure things out."

"Let him help you. You have so much to lose if you don't."

Erin looks down at Lucy. "Jay expects me to be someone that I'm not. Annie, look at me. I'm the remnants of someone he loves. It not fair to him. I can't ask him to put his life on hold for me."

"Erin, you and Lucy are his life."

Erin is silent.

Annie squeezes Erin's leg through the blanket. "Erin, you are not dreaming. This is your reality," she says quietly. "Something happened and it's messing with your memories, but I know you love Lucy and Jay." Annie gives her a melancholy smile. "Why are you denying yourself of them?"

Erin is once again struck with silence as Annie's words whirls in her head. She had legitimate reasons for leaving. It had made sense, but now everything is blurry.

"I love you. You know that. But don't take this the wrong way when I say, go home. Go hug Jay and Lucy and never let them go."

Erin looks through glistened eyes and smiles. "You're kicking me out?" She asks.

Annie smiles back. "Yes. But not tonight," Annie clarifies. "Try to sleep and I can drop you off before I go to work tomorrow morning."

"Okay,' Erin agrees.

..x..

Jay slowly opens his eyes. The morning light from the living room window momentarily blinding him. He narrow his eyes and looks around – he fell asleep on the couch. No point on sleeping on a bed that feels too empty anyways. Sluggishly, he pushes himself to a sitting position and hears a knock on the door. He figures that's probably what woke him up in the first place. He pushes himself up and shuffles to the door. He thinks it's Hank checking on him again. But when he pulls the door open, it isn't Hank on the other side.

"Erin," Jay says surprised.

"Hey," she says quietly.

"Da-dy!" Lucy chirps and promptly flings herself into his arms.

"Hey, baby girl," Jay says hoisting Lucy on his hip. He kisses her cheek and glances at Erin. He notices her tired look, which is reasserted by the bags under her eyes. "You didn't let mama sleep last night, huh?" Jay says and tickles Lucy's sides.

Lucy giggles and twists out of his arms. She runs inside and entertains herself with the toys that are scattered around.

"Did she let you sleep?" Jay asks, brushing the remnants of sleep off his face

"She woke up a few times, but I can't blame her for my lack of sleep."

Jay smiles sympathetically and motions for Erin to enter. "I would have picked her up. You didn't have to come all the way here."

Erin takes a few steps inside and says, "Annie dropped me off."

"Oh," Jay says. He watches her and there's something different about her. Something has changed. "Do you want some coffee?" He asks – not ready to let her leave.

"Um, sure," she agrees.

Erin follows Jay into the kitchen and takes a seat on the table. While Jay is busy making coffee, Lucy serves as a distraction with her happy squeals and noisy toys coming and going from the kitchen. She missed this little girl so much and now that she's back here, at their house, she realizes she's been missing much more than that.

"Here you go," Jay says, placing a hot cup of coffee in front of her. "Black, extra sugar?"

Erin smiles. "Yes, thank you."

Jay sits across from her and they fall into a comfortable silence – the type permissible with a toddler running around.

"Looks like her battery is fully charged," Jay comments, watching Lucy whizz past them in a flurry of giggles.

"She's been up since six and her energy level has not dropped," Erin adds. "Is she always like this?"

"Yeah," Jay says. "She's been a firecracker since birth. As soon as she started to craw this girl was everywhere –under the kitchen table, wiggling her way down the hall, diving into the stacks of wipes, sneaking around behind the couch, and all points in between." Jay shakes his head at the memory.

Erin chuckles. "She changed our lives, uh?"

"That she did," Jay says and sips his coffee. "In the best way possible."

Erin smiles. Silence falls between them once again. It is a comfortable stillness, the quietness of real friends, which only good friends can engender.

"Hey, um," Erin begins hesitantly. She shifts uncomfortably on her seat and says, "I, um, I think I owe you an apology."

Jay's brow furrows, but he remains silent.

"I shouldn't have left like that. It was selfish of me."

"You're here now," Jay says tentatively and sips his coffee.

She nods and after a moment she says, "Yeah, and I plan to be here."

Jay leans forward with a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. His sudden elation is palpable and it seems to diffuse through an unseen channel between them because she feels it too.

"I don't know how to even begin to do this," she says honestly. "I've been trying to figure this out, but had no luck. Annie thinks I should stop trying to do things on my own."

"Erin, I'm here," Jay says, reaching for her across the table. "Whatever you need from me. I'm here."

Just then, Lucy saunters into the kitchen and runs around the table with a blinking toy in her hand. She stops in front of her dad and says, "Look, Da-dy! Litess."

Jay looks down at his little girl and asks, "What are those lights?"

"Po-leeece lites!" Lucy chirps.

"Good girl," Jay says. "Now, where is your star, officer?"

Lucy's brow furrows. "I dunno," she says.

Jay raises an inquisitive eyebrow at her. "I think I saw it in your toy box."

Lucy's eyes widens and she darts out towards the living room.

"She has a star?" Erin asks.

"Of course," Jay says with a smile.

Seconds later Lucy comes running back with a shiny toy star in hand. She goes up to Erin and hands her the star "Hea, mama."

Erin pins the star on her shirt and Lucy beams at her.

"You're ready for duty now," Erin says.

Lucy smiles and throws her arms up to be picked up. Erin lifts her to her lap and the litter girl nestles cozily in mom's arms. Erin looks down at the little girl – her little girl, and thinks about how she could have forgotten her face – the tiny freckles on her nose or the dimples on her cheeks. It doesn't make sense to Erin. Time travel – that makes sense to her. Erin chuckles at the thought.

"What are you laughing about?"

Erin shakes her head and says, "Do you believe in time travel?"

Jay's eyes gets serious. "Erin…"

"No, no, I don't think I, um… Well, maybe?" She adds half-jokingly.

"Well, I can prove you didn't," he says.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, it's pretty easy, actually." Jay walk around the table and motions towards Erin's shirt. "May I?"

Erin frowns. "Sure?"

Jay slowly hikes up her shirt, exposing the skin on her side. Lucy get curious and stretches her neck to see it too.

Jay glides his hand up and down her side searching for something. His hand feels like fire on her skin. Erin immediately recalls the touch, the feeling—the closeness, and it awakens all her senses. She wonders if Jay can feel the intense thumping of her heart.

"Here," Jay says.

Lucy looks where Jay has his hands, reaching out her little hand so she can touch it too. "Was that?" Lucy asks.

Erin looks down trying to see what Jay is pointing at. "What is it?"

Jay takes her hand and guides to the spot where she can feel the uneven grooves of her skin under her finger tips. She realizes it is a scar.

"C'mere, you curious monkey," Jay says and pulls Lucy from Erin's lap. "Can you see it now?"

Erin looks at the scar, then up at him with a furrowed brow. "Yeah, I can see it now." She analyses the scar, but doesn't remember getting it. "What happened?" She asks.

"You were shot and—"

"I was shot?" Erin interrupts.

"Twice. One bullet lodged in your vest and the second perforated through."

"Oh my god, when?"

"About three years ago," Jay says.

"What happened?"

They were just outside a scrap metal warehouse that according to a confidential informant was a front for a drug operation. The team was in position, waiting for Ruzek to get an eye inside with the fiber optic camera. There was nothing outstanding with this bust that granted any additional precautionary measures. It was supposed to be a clean search and seizure.

"Okay, I got eyes," Ruzek's voice was heard over the radio. "I see five at the north entrance, two by the loading docks."

"Artillery?" Voight asked.

"Hard to tell. Wait..." He said, panning the camera around. "The two at the docks seem to have A14s."

"Okay. Everyone look sharp," Voight said.

The team made a beeline to the front entrance of the warehouse and with a battering ram they busted down the front door.

"CHICAGO PD!" They yelled. "SEARCH WARRANT."

The individuals within the warehouse quickly reacted, pulling out their guns.

"ON THE GROUND. NOW!" They roared.

A group of women barely clothed stood transfixed at the sight of the police officers charging inside. It wasn't until the first shot was fired that they ran and screamed, elbowing each other out of the way.

"GET DOWN!" Erin yelled at the women that were still scrambling around.

Three gunmen fell back against the wall and raised their hands as Atwater and Antonio boxed them in.

One of the gunmen scrabbled away from the team towards the back. "Ruzek," Jay said into his radio. "There's one coming for you."

"I see him," Ruzek said.

More shots were exchanged until the last gunmen was down. The team scattered to secure the area and when the ALL CLEAR was given, Jay radioed in, "George 5021, shot fired by the police and at the police. Offenders in custody."

It was when their guard was down that it happened. Out of nowhere one of the women pulled a gun on Erin. The team immediately reacted.

"DROP THE GUN," Jay called out.

"NO!" She yelled. "I WALK!"

"DROP THE GUN, NOW!" Jay yelled.

"DROP YOUR GUNS OR I SHOOT HER!"

"Easy," Erin said, dropping her gun to the ground. "You want to walk. That's fine. Just put your gun down," Erin said as even as she could.

The woman held her gun pointed to Erin's chest. Her hands trembling.

"I WANNA WALK," the woman repeated. "DROP YOUR GUNS DOWN."

"Guys," Erin called out. "Put your guns down," she ordered, then turned back to the woman. "Let me help you get what you need."

The woman wiped her face with the back of her hand. "I need no help."

Erin took a step closer to the women, the barrel of the gun now inches from her vest.

"STEP BACK," the woman yelled.

"Look around. How do you think this will end, huh? If you want to walk out of here give me the gun."

The woman struggled for a fraction of a second before she fired two shots in rapid succession at Erin's chest. Subsequent shots were fired and both, the woman and Erin, were down. The gunshot noises stopped so abruptly that the silence was almost deafening by contrast.

"ERIN!" Jay yelled. He ran up to her and immediately started un-strapping her vest. "ERIN," he said it again patting her face, but she was unresponsive.

"CALL AN AMBO!" Voight yelled.

Jay saw that one of the bullets was caught in her vest, but a closer look at his hands said the other one had ripped right through.

"C'mon, Erin," He repeated, while trying to find the source of the blood. It was only when he completely removed her vest that he saw the red splotch growing on her left side. He found an entry, but not an exit wound.

"No exit wound," Jay said.

The team gathered, but didn't crowd around as Jay worked on her. Voight kneeled down next to Erin's head, checking her pulse.

"How far out is the ambo?" Voight asked, his voice cracking.

"5 minutes," Antonio said.

"Hold on kid," Voight said.

In the meantime Jay kept putting pressure on her left side, trying to keep the blood from draining out. God, how could this have happened?

"I can't feel a pulse," Voight said and Antonio immediately knelt next to Jay taking his place.

Jay, in turn, moved up to Erin's chest and began compressions.

"C'mon, Erin," Jay repeated under his breath. "Not like this."

The medics then arrived, ushered by Olinksy, and immediately took over. The team had to literally pull Jay off of Erin so they could work on her. When they finally got a pulse and steady vitals, they hauled her into the ambulance.

Jay jumped with her, never letting go of her hand.

"Don't do this, please…." Jay kept repeating. "Don't you dare, do this."

"The bullet lodged in your back, but they got it out."

Erin runs her hand once again over the scar. "What about the woman?"

"Died on the way to the hospital," Jay says and adjusts Lucy in his arms. "That was also the day I found out you were pregnant."

"What?"

"Yeah, crazy, huh?"

Jay saw his brother and Dr. Rhodes entering the waiting room where half of the 21st precinct were waiting. He immediately stood, with Voight following right behind him.

"Is she okay?" Jay asked.

"We removed the bullet and stopped the bleeding. Luckily she suffered very little internal damage. She's going to be okay."

There as a collective sigh of relief. Jay saw Will and Dr. Rhodes exchange looks, and before Jay could ask anything, Will put his arms around his brother and said, "Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Um, sure."

Will pulled him away from the crowd of the waiting room and looked straight in his eyes. "Did you know Erin was pregnant?"

"What?" Jay asked stunned.

"Erin is pregnant, Jay."

Jay was speechless. He placed his hands on his knees and bent over, trying to control his breathing.

Will patted Jay on the back and said, "You okay?"

"H-How's the b-baby?" Jay managed to ask.

"We did an ultrasound and so far we think the baby is okay."

Jay slowly stoop up and said, "I want to see her."

"Yeah, right this way."

"Turns out, you were only seven weeks along."

Erin was silent, shaking her head in amazement. "We don't have it easy, huh?"

"Through thick and thin," Jay says.

"Through thick and thin," Erin repeats.

Thanks for reading. I'm more excited for January to come than xmas, am I the only one?