O.K, I was feeling in a great mood after the amount of reviews that I got for the last chapter, and so I decided to give you this early Christmas present from me! I hope that you all like it and please review!

I would also like to thank all of those who read and reviewed the last chapter: dshortklutz, butterflyswest, siddika, EDITH78, kat priestley, modscho, Ocean of Ashes, heatherlynn28 and last but not least ERclaireER.

Chapter Ten: The Fear In Me

Neela looked down into Ray's eyes, tasting salty tears of joy running down her face and dripping off her chin onto Rays white gown and sheet. She couldn't help herself, she was just so relieved that Ray has opened his eyes, and was awake after such a short period of time. She had been dreading the fact that she might have been going home without him, and that she would never have gotten the chance to tell him that she loved him and to share her life with him.

Clasping his cool hand in her shaking one, Neela turned her head as she heard the sound of footsteps which belonged to Abby and Anspaugh, who had also been assisting in on the surgery. She wondered for a fleeting moment where DuBenko was, but then remembered that he had been called into surgery a few hours ago, and may still be there.

'It's great to see you awake Dr Barnett' Donald said with a smile on his face as he walked to the side of the bed opposite Neela, and began to shine a light into Rays eyes, testing for reactions. Obviously pleased, his face showing no other expression to worry Neela, Donald listened to Ray's chest for a few moments before he placed his stethoscope back around his neck and announced,

'Well, everything seems fine, so we can take that tube out now'

Neela looking into Rays eyes the whole time Donald was speaking, and saw the relief that filled them when Donald said that everything was fine and told Ray that he would take the tube out. She knew that it must be excruciating having it in, having removed them from enough patients herself, all who seemed just as pleased as the next to have the piece of equipment away from them.

'O.K Dr Barnett, you know what to do. Big deep breath in and out on three. One…two…three!' With that Donald pulled the tube from Ray's throat and his mouth, leaving his coughing and gasping on the bed, his eyes shut in pain as each cough reverberated through his skull, agony not being the word to describe how he was feeling at the minute.

'Slow, deep breaths Ray…that's it' Abby said as she placed a comforting hand on her friends shoulder, while Neela lifted a cup of cool water to Rays lips, holding the straw as he took slow sips, the pain of the action visible on his features.

After a few sips of the water, which had cooled his throat, but had also hurt it at the same time, Ray took a few large swallows and another couple of deep breaths before he tried to speak.

'What happened?' He managed to whisper out, his throat to sore and dry to come out any louder or stronger than that. Looking up at Neela, Ray saw the trace of redness around her eyes, a sure sign that she had been crying and it made him wonder what could have happened that she would be crying.

'You had a clot in your brain. But that's out now and you should be fine in a few weeks with bed rest and medication' Donald said, knowing nothing of the actual events that had lead to the young intern being on his surgery table, just knowing the implications and the action that he had took to ensure that the young man would live.

Eyes opened wide in amazement, Ray looked over at Neela, who was fighting another set of tears which where threatening to spill over. The words which Donald had just spoken reminding her how close she had come to losing Ray. All she wanted to do was wrap her arms around him and make sure that no one or no thing would ever hurt him again.

Leaning down, Neela gently pulled Ray to her, his head resting lightly on her shoulder as she sobbed out,

'I thought I was going to lose you'

Seeing the emotional scene before him, and not wanting to intrude, Donald nodded his head to Abby before leaving, knowing that the young couple would want to be alone after such a traumatic night of events.

Reaching his hand up to touch Neelas forearm, which was wrapped across his chest lightly as she hugged him to her, careful not to cause any pain to his damaged ribs, Ray whispered to her,

'But you didn't…I'm fine'

Ray wasn't sure if that was the truth, the fact that he felt as if he had been ran over by the EL about three times, and the fact that Neela was crying, but he couldn't see her like this, and so he had said the one thing which he hoped would make her stop crying.

Pulling back from him, Neela looked down at Ray as she wiped the tears from her face again, and leaned down to kiss him gently on the lips, quick and careful, her hand caressing his bruised face.

Sitting back down in her chair, Neela watched as Abby leaned over and hugged Ray too.

'I'm really glad you're O.K Ray. I was so worried' Neela couldn't stop the smile on her face as she saw Abby doting over Ray when she pulled back from the hug, fixing his pillow and pulling his blanket further up.

'Are you warm, or do you want another blanket?' Before he even had a chance to answer Abby had already walked off to get one, saying that he needed it.

Turning to look at Neela, a small smile on his bruised face, Ray said in a quiet voice,

'What's up with her?'

Reaching her hand over to his, Neela took it in her own and began to rub her thumb back and forth over the back of his hand as she said,

'She's just being maternal…she can't help it'

Waling back into the room, a blanket and pillow in her hands, Abby said to Neela,

'I am not. I may be older than him but not that much older'

Neela laughed and got up to fix the pillow behind Rays head as Abby pulled the blanket up to the top of his chest. He really wanted to tell them that he was going to hold them to the fact that they would run around for him and dote on him, but he was far to tired and sore, and before he knew it, his eyes hand begun to close again, and he was pulled into the land of sleep once again.

Looking down at the sleeping face of her boyfriend, Neela couldn't believe how peaceful he still managed to look, even covered in bruises and cuts, a large bandage on the side of his head to cover a five inch scar. Leaning forward, Neela gently placed a kiss on the tip of his nose and sat back in her seat, knowing that she want going to be leaving any time soon.

It was a few days later and Ray had been moved to a room of his own. It had a small adjoining bathroom and a small window which looked out to Lake Michigan. Neela had brought some clothes for Ray the second day which he had been in the hospital after Ray had told her to go home and get some rest that he was only sleeping and had an entire floor of nurses and doctors to look after him.

After the help and persistence of Abby, who Ray thought was actually very good at telling people what to do and getting them to actually do it, Neela had went home and had a shower and slept for six hours. She had then packed a bag for Ray, which consisted for mainly boxers, socks, sweats and t-shirts. She had also thrown in his hoody which she knew he loved and always wore as well as clothes for the say he got to go home.

So now he was sitting on his bed, thankfully out of the gown and wearing a pair of navy sweats, a grey t-shirt with the name of a band on it, although it was faded due to the many washes, a pair of thick socks and a zip-up jacket.

He was bored out of his mind, although he slightly preferred that state to when he was doped up on morphine for his headaches and other injures, and he couldn't actually remember a conversation which he had had with someone, let alone actually hold a normal one that didn't veer off topic at some point to something random.

Lifting a hand to the side of his head where the bandage was, Ray wondered what the scar would actually look like. He knew that it was five inches long, but it didn't stop his curiosity as to what it would actually look like on him. Running a gentle finger over the bandage, which was smaller than the initial one that had been put on, Ray winced slightly as he pressed to hard on the tender flesh.

Letting out a sigh of irritation Ray hated feeling the way he did. Every time that he moved, even if it was only a fraction, he managed to hurt himself in one way or another. If it wasn't his head it was his ribs, and if it wasn't his ribs then it was the bruises and cuts that littered his face and arms.

Laying his head back against the pillows, Ray couldn't stop the selfish thoughts of wanting Neela or Abby to come up to the room. He hated being on his own, the only company the noise of the monitors and the drips. Turning his head to look out the window, Ray felt his eyes growing heavy, and soon they closed.

His eyes had not been shut for more than a moment when they shot back open, and he jumped up, his ribs feeling as if they were on fire, and his head pounding as the blood flowed through his ears.

Pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around his head, as if he was trying to make himself as small as possible, Ray sat breathing heavily as he waited for the pain to subside. He was thankful that the door to the room was shut, blocking off the nurse view to his bed, as they would run in if they say him sitting like that, and ask him what was the matter.

The truth was, Ray wouldn't tell them what was wrong, because he didn't want Neela to get hurt, just like he did.

Every time that Ray had shut his eyes, or fell asleep he was assaulted with images of what had happened that night, and the look of madness that he had seen in Michael's eyes before he had went unconscious. Over the past few days everyone had been constantly asking him if he had remembered anything about that night, and he had lied to every single one of them, telling them that he couldn't, that he was sorry.

He had even lied to Neela, and that was the hardest thing he had to do. He hadn't lied to her once since they had begun dating, and it was heartbreaking for him to have to look her in the eye and tell her that he had no clue who had done it. To stop himself from blurting out and telling her the truth, Ray kept telling himself that he was doing this for her, so that Michael wouldn't hurt her. He didn't know what he would have done if he had of seen Neela lying on a gurney covered in blood and bruises.

Ray felt the tears sliding down his cheeks as he realized how scared he was and how he had no one to turn to. This reminded him of his childhood when…No! He wasn't going to dig that up again; he had too much to worry about at the minute without thinking about that.

Sitting up and wiping a hand across the back of his eyes, Ray lay down on the bed, his knees curled up and the blanket pulled up to his chin, as if he was creating a cocoon where he could be safe. It was what he had always done as a child when he was scared, a habit that had always stayed with him. It was one of the few things that showed Ray Barnett's vulnerable side, something which he tried to hide as much as he could, even from Neela.

It was the day that Ray was going home, a little earlier than most patients, but Neela was getting two weeks off to look after him, so Anspaugh and DuBenko had agreed that it would be fine, so long as Ray came back if he had any problems.

After agreeing to all of the terms and signing his discharge papers, Ray was in his room and getting reading to go home. He was wearing a pair of old, comfortable jeans and t-shirt with his hoody on over it. He was also wearing a pair of converse instead of his boots, Neela saying that she couldn't find them anywhere in his room. He was also wearing a woolen hat, not only because of the snow which had started to fall slowly outside, but to cover the scar on his head, a reminder of what had gone on that night.

'Ready?' Neela said from her place at the door of the room, a wheelchair beside her and a sly smile on her face.

An 'you can't be serious' look on his face, Ray said to Neela,

'You're kidding right…because I can walk; I hurt my head not my feet'

Neela just gave an exaggerated sigh, only joking, and walked into the room and put her hand around Ray's bicep and pulled him over to the chair and made him sit in it and waited as the orderly began to wheel the chair away and into the elevator, Neela walking in step.

They were soon down in the ER, and Neela had taken the wheelchair, thanking the orderly and pushing the chair herself, laughing a little as she watched as Ray tried to hide his face, a blush covering his cheeks as Luka and Abby came over. It wasn't that he hated being the centre of attention, since being in a band sort of required him to be able to stand up in front of people, but he just hated his friends seeing him like this. He felt like a child.

'How are you feeling?' Abby asked as she leaned down and hugged Ray, laughing slightly at the look of embarrassment on his face. It was adorable.

'Great…good' Ray said when he saw the questioning look that Abby gave him, not believing for a moment that he felt 'great'. She knew that he put up an act of feeling fine, but she could see through it. Just like she could see through Luka whenever he wanted to stay in and tried to make a reason to make it sound like he was staying in for her.

Luka went to open his mouth to tell Ray that Weaver said that he didn't need to worry about coming back, that just to come back when he felt up to it, but was beat by the annoying voice that was Morris, as he waltzed over to the four of them, a huge smile plastered on his face,

'So rock star, you must feel great having Neela running after you for about two weeks…at your beck and call and all that' Morris laughed as he said this, and slapped Ray on the shoulder, meaning a friendly gesture, but just jerking Ray into hurting his ribs, although he did a good job of covering it up.

'If you don't shut up I'll run after you…with a knife' Neela shouted after Morris, laughing at the look of shock and slight fear on the redheads face.

Stroking her hand down the back of Rays neck, Neela gave a slight squeeze as she leaned down and kissed him on the cheek before saying,

'Although, he is right'

Smiling, Ray turned around in the chair and looked up at her, a smile on his face and a twinkle in his eye as he said,

'Just don't let him her you say that'

Laughing, Abby and Luka both said goodbye to Ray and Neela, arranging to come over later in the week, and then returned back to work, knowing that they would get in trouble by Weaver if they were caught talking when the waiting room was filling up.

Soon Neela and Ray were back in the apartment, Ray lying down on the couch with a blanket on him, orders of Neela, who was in the kitchen and making soup for them, even though Ray had laughed and told her that he wasn't sick that way and didn't need soup. Although Neela had countered back, explaining that back in England her mother had always made soup in the cold winter days, a sure way to warm up any Rasgotra.

Neela came into the living room, two bowls in her hand and set them on the table as Ray moved his feet so that she could sit down. Neela had ate happily, the soup reminding her of her childhood as she watched the T.V, although Ray had only ate when Neela looked, not feeling all that hungry, too busy trying to keep his eyes open.

After she had finished, Neela looked over at Ray, and smiled as she saw his efforts to stay awake, the day taking its toll on him. It had been the longest he had been awake since the accident, and his body was still trying to recuperate.

'Here, I'll take that sleepyhead' Neela joked as she took hers and Rays bowl into the kitchen and set them in the sink, mentally telling herself that she would wash them later. Walking back into the living room, Neela sat down on the sofa beside Ray, laughing lightly as he lay his head down in her lap, his feet pulled up on the couch.

'Comfy?' Neela joked, her hand running up and down Rays arm lightly, her fingers tracing lightly over bruises and cuts that were slightly visible against his pale skin.

Running her other hand lightly through his hair, Neela gazed at the scar, the hair around it having been shaved off. It would grow back soon, but the scar would always be visible unless Ray had his hair at any sort of a length to cover it.

Hearing Rays breathing even out; Neela smiled and pulled the blanket up around Ray. She was glad to have him back in her arms, and with Christmas coming soon, she didn't want it any other way.

Well, I hope that you all enjoyed this little Christmas Present of a chapter, from me to you, and please review and let mw know what you think.

Consider it your Christmas present to me!

Well, I just want to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and I hope you all have a great time and enjoy yourselves.