Sorry folks for the long, long wait in between chapters. First the holidays got the best of me. Then it was writer's block. But, I finally finished it. I hope everyone enjoys. It's a bit of a long one, but you all deserve it after having to wait over two months for it. Thank you to all that have reviewed, faved, and story alerted this one. You all are awesome!
He was angry.
Had felt the anger radiating off of him as soon as he walked into her apartment. He had shown up around two o'clock in the morning—thirty minutes after she'd come home after processing Chris Pacci's residence with DiNozzo.
He hadn't given her any time to question as to why he was at her apartment—immediately pinned her to the closet door and ravished her mouth. Tore away her clothes until his hands met soft, heated flesh. His mouth had left her breathless—blazing a trail from her mouth, down her throat to her breasts—where his tongue licked and laved her pale pink nipples, then continued downward over her taut abdomen to her sex.
He had literally devoured her. Wretched harsh moans from her lips. Had slipped two fingers into her warmth as his tongue continued to pay homage to her clit, bringing her to the verge of sobbing before shooting her over the edge—his name a loud, harsh moan as she had climaxed.
Before she could slip to the floor, he'd picked her up in his strong arms and carried her into the bedroom. Unceremoniously thrown her onto the bed—proceeded to strip himself before joining her on the bed.
The interlude inside her front door had seemed rather tame to her when he'd forcibly thrust into her—his hands tightly gripping her thighs, leaving marks on the tender flesh.
It scared her.
His teeth scraped over her clavicle—bit down hard, bringing a harsh scream from her. He took that as encouragement. The thrusts became harder—began to hurt.
He was in his own world right now.
"Gibbs," her voice harsh, "stop." No response from him. She pushed at his shoulders. "Jethro, stop!" Shouted as loud as she could.
Kate's voice filtered from the fog. His name. Kate shouting stop.
Immediately stilled his movements—lifted his head from her neck and gazed into her mocha orbs. What he saw literally felt like a punch in the gut. Bile rose in his throat.
Withdrew from her—cringed inwardly at the wince that sounded from her. He rolled away from her and sat up on the edge of the bed—his arms propped on his thighs and head hanging down. He let himself be blinded by his anger over Pacci's death. How he had treated Kate felt like a knife in the heart.
Cringed when he felt her hand settle in the middle of his back. Didn't deserve her touch. Not after what happened. Didn't deserve anything that she would ultimately give to him.
"Gibbs," she breathed, not sure on how to continue. Knew from his body language that he felt like shit—and probably beating himself up on the inside.
She sat up on her knees—behind him—and wrapped her arms around his waist, laying her chin on his shoulder. "Talk to me, Gibbs." She wasn't angry with him from his recent actions. He was hurting over Chris Pacci's murder.
Shook his head as he spoke, "I don't deserve this." Grasped her right hand and brought it up to his heart and held it there.
"Don't deserve what?"
"This. You comforting me after what I just did to you," he growled.
She closed her eyes for a brief moment—to gather her thoughts—before plowing forward. "I know that you wouldn't knowingly hurt me. You're hurting—in a different way than when you were hurting from getting shot and letting the terrorist get away. You're also angry—in a different way as well. I didn't want," she paused, not sure on how to describe what was happening. Couldn't be described as lovemaking could it? Oh, what the hell? "I didn't want our lovemaking to be marred by those emotions. I'm here, Gibbs. Talk to me," she whispered before gently kissing his shoulder.
He had briefly talked to Ducky at the crime scene—but maybe he needed this, too. It terrified him to be stripped bare in front of Kate—terrified him more that he was on the verge of using Kate to vanquish his demons over Chris' murder. "I brushed him off."
One sentence. Brief. But to Kate, it was a start in the right direction.
"He asked for my help on a cold case he was working on. We were chasing Petty Officer Curtain. Didn't have any time to give him." Raised his head and turned it slightly to gaze upon her face. "Told me it could wait. What was another day in the grand scheme of things?"
Kate had an inkling of where he was heading with this. "You didn't cause this, Gibbs."
"Everyone keeps telling me that," he hissed. "You. Ducky."
Crawled off the bed, came around to stand in front of him and straddled his thighs—sitting in his lap. Looked him straight in the eye. "This isn't your fault. You didn't know what would happen when you brushed him off last week. Pacci wouldn't want you to blame yourself. He would want you to catch his murderer."
Kate's words struck a chord in him. Remained silent, though, but gathered her in his strong embrace—burying his face in the curve of her neck, the soothing scent of lavender drifting into his nostrils. "Come to Chris' memorial service with me."
Wasn't expecting that. She swallowed the lump in her throat. Breathed deeply. That meant something more between them. Gibbs was trying though—to move in the direction that she wanted. Nuzzled his temple with her nose. "Okay," she breathed softly.
Thanksgiving has come to the Gibbs-Todd house. Kate's parents had arrived yesterday from Charleston—along with Kate's older sister, Rachel, and her family from Miami. Only one of Kate's brother had come—Jonathan, the only one still single—the other two already had plans with their in-laws.
Then Gibbs invited the whole NCIS team—needless to say, the Gibbs-Todd house was bursting at the seams. But, she and Gibbs wouldn't have had it any other way—the house filled with those that they loved and cared for.
And there was enough food to feed an Army, thanks to her mother.
Kate had been banished from the kitchen by Rachel, Abby, and her mother—not that she minded. More time to have her feet propped up and maybe catch a few winks of sleep—Baby Gibbs-Todd has been restless at night as the pregnancy moved into its last three weeks. And she was as big as a house and probably took up half the kitchen—okay, that was an extreme exaggeration, but sometimes it felt like that. And no matter how many times Gibbs told her she was the most beautiful woman to him, she never believed him.
Settled herself on the chaise lounger part of the couch—folded her hands on her burgeoning belly and closed her eyes.
Her eyes fluttered open at the soft kiss that was placed on her forehead. "Mmm," she moaned, "time for lunch?" Rubbed a hand over her eyes as she slowly sat up.
Gibbs nodded his head while answering, "Yes, but it's more dinner. You slept the afternoon away, baby." Helped her to her feet and held her in his arms. "I don't think I've told you today that I love you," he whispered against her lips before capturing her lips in a short, but searing kiss.
Kate gripped his biceps—afraid that her legs would give out from the intensity of his kiss. Her breathes were heavy when he pulled back, "Wow," she gasped. "You sure know how to show a girl a good time on Thanksgiving."
Their guests laughed softly from the dining room.
"Come on, I'm starving, so the little one is probably fading away to nothing." A soft smile—only reserved for Gibbs—lit up her face.
They sat down beside each other at the table that the men managed to make larger for the large group of people. As the food make its way around the table—conversations started zinging back and forth. Rachel and Elizabeth Todd started discussing Rachel's practice down in Miami; Brian—Rachel's husband—got McGee's attention when he mentioned computers and something else that completely went over Kate's head; DiNozzo, Ducky, and William Todd animatedly got on the topic of NCIS. Her father had always been fascinated by her job with the government agency.
Discreetly cast a look at Abby and Jonathan—heads close together as they softly conversed.
Never imagined Abby would be attracted to her second brother, but miracles were known to happen. Jonathan, on the other hand—Kate knew he would find Abby attractive. He has dated both ends of the spectrum.
Felt Gibbs' hand caressing her thigh through her jeans. Look into his captivating gaze and they shared another smile between each other.
Kate directed her gaze to her mother when she asked about tomorrow. "I'm not shopping tomorrow, mom. We have a doctor's appointment in the morning."
"Ultrasound?"
"Mmm-hmm." Kate nodded as she took a few bites of mashed potatoes. After swallowing, she continued, "They want to check the weight and make sure everything is okay on the inside, so to speak."
Elizabeth nodded along what her youngest daughter said.
"What can you tell us about Katie, Rachel?" DiNozzo laid on the charm.
Kate couldn't help but smirk. Silently thanked DiNozzo. Normally, she would be giving him snarky remarks and threatening Rachel with something from their childhood—but having the team find out about her childhood antics—especially DiNozzo—was not even remotely bothering her. Couldn't care less what Rachel might reveal to her friends. For the first time in her life—she was at peace with who she was and what she was about to become in a matter of weeks.
Watched the moonlight bathe its ethereal glow on Kate's sleeping form. She looked so beautiful to him-so at peace. But he could never tell her those thoughts. Slowly—through the last couple of weeks—he was discovering his true feelings for her. Always remained silent about them when with her.
Earlier, while making love in her living room—when Kate settled over him and started slowly rocking her hips—all her ethereal beauty shining through—he had toyed with the prospect of revealing his love for her. The words evidently got caught in his throat. All that had come out were grunts and groans as he thrust into her heavenly body.
He has asked himself over the last thirty-six hours—was it Chris' murder that had brought these particular feelings to the surface? Came to the inevitable conclusion that he'd been experiencing all these emotions long before Chris Pacci was murdered.
Reached out and ran his fingers through her auburn locks. She stirred slightly before nestling her head further into the pillow—her hand reaching out, in search of him—settled on top of his pillow instead.
He still hated himself—stomach still pitched and rolled when he thought about it—for what he'd done to Kate early yesterday morning. And then could not fully understand why she didn't hate him. He was literally on the verge of using her to just get himself off—to vanquish some demons—with no consideration whatsoever for Kate and her pleasure.
And she had forgiven him.
Helped him open up about Chris' murder.
Still dropped everything when he needed her. That was why he wanted to admit his feelings for her or let her go, so she could mover on with her life.
It wasn't fair to Kate.
She deserved to be happy.
Even if it wasn't with him.
He laid back down on his side—facing Kate. Memorized everything about her. Ran his thumb over her full bottom lip.
As he fell back to sleep—wondered what it would take for him to realize—and express—his love for Kate.
"What is it with you and watching me sleep?" Kate mumbled as she opened her eyes. "It's a bit creepy, you know."
A sheepish grin graced his face. "What can I say—other than you look peaceful when you're sleeping?"
"Gibbs, no one looks peaceful when they are sleeping." She added with a smiled, "Except maybe you when you're on a C-130." Remembering that God-awful flight to Colombia still made her stomach pitch and roll. Grasped his hand in hers, ran her thumb back and forth over the top of his in a soothing motion. "We're fine, Jethro," she whispered.
Simply nodded at her.
"Doctor Holt caught everything quickly."
Another nod. Cast his gaze downward—focusing on their joined hands. Thought five hours would be sufficient time to wrap his mind around everything, but was still having some difficulty processing.
"Jethro," she trailed off.
He barked at her, "Is it a crime to be scared?" Snapped his eyes closed and winced at the harshness of his words.
Kate licked her dry lips. Didn't take his words—and tone of voice—to heart. This was a stressful situation for both of them.
There had been a lot to digest in the last five hours for both of them.
Doctor Holt had discovered a partial detachment of the placenta from the uterine lining on the ultrasound this morning. He discussed the options with both her and Gibbs—ultimately they had decided to induce Kate's labor. Holt felt confident with Baby Gibbs-Todd's weight and development—with it only being three weeks until the actual due date.
Kate could understand how terrifying this would seem to Gibbs—especially when he'd already lost a child. Granted, Kelly perished at the hands of a murderer, but she'd lost her life nonetheless and Gibbs his daughter.
His voice was low, "I shouldn't have talked to you like that. It was wrong of me."
"You have every right to be scared." Didn't want to admit that she, too, was scared—even with the utmost confidence in Doctor Holt. What mother-to-be wouldn't be terrified—even a little bit. "We'll get through this."
Instead of a nod, a confident answer. "I know." Squeezed her hand—both needing the support that each gave the other.
Changed the subject. "Were you there when Kelly was born?"
Entwined their fingers. A smiled tugged at the corners of his mouth as he reminisced. "No, I was deployed at the time. Shannon's mother was there with her. Three weeks later, I got a letter from Shannon, with a picture of Kelly in it." A soft laugh sounded. "My heart swelled with love and pride at the picture. She was so adorable, with this red peach fuzz—Shannon had red hair—and chubby cheeks."
She really should ask him one day about his obsession with red-heads. "When did you finally get to see her—in person—and hold her?"
"She was about four months old when I returned home from deployment. For a couple of weeks, she was leery with me, but then you couldn't separate the two of us. Kelly had me wrapped around her little finger—Shannon always yelled at me for spoiling her."
"Daddy's little girl."
Gibbs grinned proudly, "Of course."
She grumbled, "I'm screwed if Baby Gibbs-Todd is a girl."
The two of them talked some more about Shannon and Kelly—even though Gibbs was leery, not wanting to hurt Kate's feelings. She assured him that she did not mind discussing the two women that he had lost tragically—also reminded him of when she told him that if he needed to talk about them, she was there and wouldn't run the other direction.
Kate leaned against the partition behind her desk, observing Gibbs sorting through Chris Pacci's now vacant desk. The last three days—she has seen a different side of Gibbs and it has tugged at her heart. "Why are you going through everything before you box it?"
"Force of habit. I don't want his family getting an unpleasant surprise." Left it at that—hoped Kate would, too."
From his tone of voice, she got the gist that he didn't want to discuss his answer further. For some unexplained reason, she wanted to explore it further. "Has it happened before?"
Knew she meant well—trying to make him open up, but he didn't want to do it tonight.
Tonight, he wanted to finish the task at hand—boxing up Chris' desk—then go home, where he would hole himself in his basement and drown some of his demons in bourbon as he worked out his frustrations on his boat.
Even though every fiber of his being wanted to be with Kate. Close to her. Touching her. Loving her through the night—wishing the sun wouldn't come up, bringing forth a new day. But he didn't trust himself this evening.
Kate noticed the clenching of his jaw. This wasn't the best time to feed her curiosity. "I'm sorry, Gibbs. Forget I said anything."
Boxed another item after checking it. "No, it's all right. It's just," he sighed, "no one has ever asked about my earlier years at NCIS."
"Well, you're not exactly the approachable type."
That earned her a small smile—barely lifted the corners of his mouth—but a smile nonetheless. "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
"Truth be told, Gibbs—your bark is worse than your bite."
Another little smirk. She was teasing him. Making him laugh—knew that was what he truly needed. "Is that right? Aren't you the same person who absolutely loves my bite?"
A blush started blooming in her cheeks and then traveled down her throat and beneath her shirt. She thanked the Heavens above that the soft lights of everyone's desk lamps weren't bright enough to show her flushed cheeks.
"That wasn't nice, Gibbs."
He nodded along with her words. "My apologies." Felt really bad. They never engaged in flirting while at work. But she made him feel so much at ease while performing a task he despised. "Um, my first supervisor—Special Agent Mike Franks—had done the same thing whenever an Agent was lost. The family has its own perception of their family member. I want to keep it that way."
"That's a very honorable thing to do."
He had no reply for her comment.
Saw Kate turn away from him and start a conversation with DiNozzo and McGee—fought the smile that eventually formed when he heard her razzing DiNozzo about kissing the he/she earlier this evening.
Thirty minutes later, he had Kate's form leaning on Chris' desk. A feather light touch to his hand. The same touch that she'd bestowed upon him at Chris' memorial service. An anchor for him to hold onto. For how long? That was up to him to determine.
"Gibbs, go home. Get some sleep."
"What's sleep?" he muttered. Hated when she pulled her hand back—wanted the touch to linger.
She heard the hesitation in her own voice—didn't understand why she was doing this. "When you're finished here, come to my apartment. If you want. Goodnight, Gibbs," her voice was soft and then she made her way to the elevator.
Gibbs had indeed taken Kate up on her offer—he arrived at her apartment three hours later. She ushered him inside—removed his blazer and hung it up on the closet; laid his keys down on the small table inside the door; and then led him to her bedroom.
Slowly and methodically, she undressed him down to his boxers and undershirt. Placed his service weapon and badge on her dresser. Together, they crawled into bed—his hands snaking underneath the tank she had on, in search of her smooth skin.
She halted his ministrations.
His eyebrows quirked in confusion. Wasn't this reason that she asked him to come over tonight? Had he read everything wrong three hours ago?
"Just sleep, Gibbs." Gentle fingers soothed the furrows in his brow. "We don't need to do anything tonight—except sleep."
That was what he did—found solace in her arms. Didn't care what tomorrow would bring—tonight, in Kate's arms, was all that mattered.
Gibbs knew from first hand experience of the unexpected surprises—curve balls—that life sometimes threw at you. And how those curve balls sometimes knocked you onto your ass because you hadn't expected them to come flying at your head.
But there were those rare, special occasions when those surprises left you breathless—in the most glorious fashion—because they showed you the awe inspiring amazement that life ultimately was.
Gibbs was experiencing exactly that type of moment—on the Saturday morning after Thanksgiving—as Kate squeezed the life out of his hand while bringing their child into the world.
Neither had expected Kate to have placental abruption—discovered at the ultrasound yesterday morning—which in turn forced Baby Gibbs-Todd to come three weeks early, but both of them were going with the flow of the situation.
He knew Doctor Holt was talking to Kate—encouraging her, telling her how well she was so far and that they didn't have that much far to go—but to Gibbs, that sounded so far away—on another planet. All he was focused on was the woman he loved.
Being here—in the delivery room—was a surreal experience for him. He had missed Kelly's birth because he'd been deployed at the time.
A loud wail filled the room.
Couldn't stop the goofy grin that graced his face as he leaned down and kissed Kate's smiling mouth.
Doctor Holt motioned to Gibbs to come and join him. While the attending nurse held the squirming—and rather vocal—newborn, Holt instructed Gibbs as to where to cut the umbilical cord.
Minutes later—after being weighed, measured, and cleaned—the newborn was placed in its mother's waiting arms, swaddled in a warm blanket.
Kate brushed her thumb over the soft cheek of her newborn son. "So, you're the one who kept me up most nights," she whispered.
"Congratulations on your new addition," a familiar voice sounded behind him.
Hated tearing his eyes away from his newborn son—named Gabriel Todd Gibbs. He had been standing outside NICU for the past hour, just watching his son sleep—like he had watched Kate the same way three hours after the delivery. Was afraid that if he closed his eyes and reopened them, this would all be a dream.
No Gabriel. No Kate. Nothing.
He turned around to encounter his old friend, Andrea McKay.
"You look like death warmed over." Andrea wasn't one to beat around the bush. "Have you slept at all?"
"Thanks." Smiled at her while shaking his head. "Every time I see you, I'm always reminded as to why our visits are few and far between."
A witty smile lit up her charming face—her blue eyes sparkled. "You didn't answer my question."
"No, mom, I haven't slept yet. Happy now?"
Clicked her tongue. "Very. Thank you." Leaned her small frame to the side and peered around Gibbs' body to gaze upon the newest addition to the Gibbs-Todd household. "Adorable little one, he is."
"Yes, he is. Looks like his mother." Gibbs turned around once more.
Andrea nodded at his comment. "What did you name him?"
"Gabriel Todd Gibbs."
"Seriously, Gibbs, you had to give that baby two last names."
He sighed, "Andrea, do you see a hyphen between Todd and Gibbs?"
Andrea glanced at the name card on the bassinet. Shook her head.
"Todd is his middle name. Kate thought her last name would be a nice middle name if the baby turned out to be a boy."
"Okay," she muttered, "because I would've hit you if that boy had two last names. You need to marry his mother for Pete's sake."
"I want to. Badly."
"Then what's stopping you? You have a house together. And now a beautiful baby boy."
Gibbs glanced at Andrea—who happened to be entranced by Gabriel. He could ask her the same question—what was stopping her from moving forward with her life?
He had known her for ten years or so and through those ten years, she probably only had two serious relationships. He had always wanted her to be happy.
"I could ask you the same question."
"We're not discussing me and my relationship status," she hissed—the subject a sore spot for her.
"Andrea..."
"Don't, Jethro. Please, don't," she whispered. "You have an exceptional woman who loves you so much. I saw it in her eyes when I showed you two the house. Don't let her get away."
Gibbs was silent for a moment. "It's a bit complicated."
"Nothing is too complicated."
He nodded—knowing what she said was true. "Did Kate explain our relationship to you?" Motioned to a line of chairs situated nearby.
"All she told me was that it was complicated," she huffed. "The two of you..." trailed off, shaking her head as she sat down in the utilitarian hospital chair.
"It started at the end of a case—this woman latched onto Kate, playing on Kate's good-hearted emotions. In the end, the woman blew herself and her boyfriend/boss up. Kate felt ashamed-responsible-for what happened." He suddenly realized that he hadn't shared this with anyone—the only one who knew was Kate.
"Did you tell her that it wasn't her fault?"
Shook his head. Wished he had done just that, that night. All he'd done was show her that everything was all right—for one night.
"You slept with her that night." It wasn't meant to be a question.
Gibbs smirked. Andrea always had a knack for reading people. "Yes," he muttered.
"No wonder you say it's complicated." She leaned forward and laid her arms on her thighs. "I've met someone, Jethro. And I'm scared to death." Laid her heart out to a dear friend.
"It's normal to be scared to death. I was terrified when I began to realize that I was falling for Kate. I hadn't been ready for it—the relationship was only," he clamped his lips shut—not wanting to open up about what his relationship was with Kate early on.
Andrea understood his silence. And caught on quickly. "I know." Didn't say anything more, because nothing was needed.
"Every man you meet, date, or fall in love with, will not be like Eric. Just take this one slow—see where it takes you."
She chuckled, "Like you did?"
Gibbs replied sheepishly, "Okay, so I may have skipped a few steps."
To Be Continued...