Betaed by the wonderful Kittyluv.
To AmYa: Thanks for the review. Sadly, there is no way, Athena or any Saint, or event he old, wise woman who destroyed it, can restore a Cosmo, once destroyed. But that's not the end of it for Hyoga.
Chapter 10:
Hyoga broke up their camp early in the morning. They couldn't dare lose any more time.
The former Saint had kept the fire burning all night, managing to stay at least a little warm. But still, when the morning dawned, he felt stiff and his muscles ached.
He watched Shun fold the sleeping bag, tying the rope around it and stuffing it back into the duffel. The green haired Saint stood and swung the bag onto his shoulder.
"I can carry that," Hyoga said.
Shun looked at him. "You carried it yesterday. It's my turn now."
Hyoga nodded and Shun started to walk on. Hyoga hefted his eyes on his friend's back as he followed him silently. This had been the first real sentence he had heard from the younger Saint. He was even more closed off than the day before and Hyoga knew why. Shun had been having nightmares, turning and mumbling in his sleep restlessly. Hyoga hadn't woken him, not sure it would have been appreciated. But he couldn't just do nothing.
"You had a nightmare last night?" he asked carefully, leaving it open to his friend how much he wanted to reveal, hoping against all hope that he would not feel pushed and, maybe, talk about it.
Shun didn't look back and his answer was sharper and colder than the Siberian wind. "It is none of your business."
Hyoga was not used to such a tone coming from Shun. He didn't like this change at all.
"You have been talking in your sleep," he probed a little further.
Shun turned with a start, staring at him with wide, panic-stricken eyes. "What did I say?"
Hyoga frowned. "You just mumbled, I couldn't understand a thing."
Shun visibly relaxed. "Let it drop Hyoga. It is none of your business. And next time, wake me up, instead of eavesdropping on me."
"I didn't..." Hyoga began startled.
"Just wake me next time," Shun interrupted sharply, turning back and taking on his pace again.
"Alright. Don't get mad," Hyoga said in what he hoped was a calming voice. "I'm just worried. Something is bothering you and I only wanted to…"
That was as far as he got before Shun was on him, pushing him backwards against a tree, holding the front of his coat in his fist, staring at Hyoga with blazing eyes. "Are you stupid or just stubborn? I told you to keep out of my business!" he yelled at the Russian with hateful eyes.
"Okay Shun," Hyoga said, arms lifted in a non-threatening manner, trying to calm his friend. "I won't ask again. Just relax."
Shun kept eye contact for a few moments longer, his chest heaving and his panting breath coming out in puffs of white mist, before his eyes lost their furious look and something like shame or guilt replaced it. He let go of Hyoga's coat, turned and picked up the duffel bag that had fallen to the ground when he attacked Hyoga.
He swung it back on his shoulder and turned to leave. "Come on Hyoga. We better get going, before Natasha's men gain too much ground on us."
Hyoga followed him worriedly. Shun was acting more and more out of character.
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Shun kept his eyes straight ahead. He couldn't look at Hyoga. He didn't know what had come over him, attacking his best friend. But after Hyoga had said he had heard him talk in his sleep, he had been scared out of his skin that Hyoga might have heard the truth about what he had to hide from him. He couldn't deal with Hyoga knowing about it. He would loose his best friend. Hyoga would be disgusted about him and he just couldn't handle losing Hyoga's friendship. He bit the inside of his cheek as guilt twisted his gut. He would have seriously hurt him. Hyoga had no Cosmo, and had he attacked with his own, Hyoga could be dead right now.
He had to hold it together until they got home. Maybe it would be possible to talk to his brother about it. But he doubted even that.
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Igor urged his men to a faster pace. They had walked most of the night, even though it was dangerous to walk in darkness. But they all knew it was more dangerous to deal with Natasha if they failed to bring the Saint back and kill the traitor. He had seen the smoke of their fire and knew they were closing in on them. He supposed they would catch up with them the next day or so, which wasn't too soon, because the fugitives would reach the boarder in two days at the latest.
With grim satisfaction he recalled the message from Natasha from last night. She had told him that the Russian traitor was no Saint after all. A good fighter, but with no special powers. That gave them a chance to succeed in their mission.
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Hyoga and Shun had walked all day long without talking much and they had made good progress. The incident from the morning was not mentioned once the whole day.
They stopped late in the evening when they reached some big rocks, which promised some shelter from the icy night wind.
Shun posed the bag on the floor and walked wordlessly off to get some wood, leaving Hyoga the task to unpack the supplies. Their share of tasks and the meal was a perfect repetition of the night before, with the difference that Shun didn't say one unnecessary word the whole time.
Hyoga tried to start a conversation several times, evading the matter of Shun's secret or his strange behavior, but Shun didn't play along and only gave short gruff answers if he answered at all.
Hyoga finally gave up. It was obvious that Shun didn't want to talk to him at all.
And he didn't really wish for a repetition of earlier either.
So he hadn't said a word about his hands and feet, which had hurt like hell the whole day only to finally turn completely numb sometime in the early evening. He knew what that meant. It was a bad sign, and if he didn't manage to warm his feet soon, he could lose some toes or worse.
After they finished their meal, Shun only said; "You can take the first watch today, since I did yesterday", without even looking at him and went to the sleeping bag to untie it.
"Shun..." Hyoga began worriedly. He didn't recognize his friend anymore.
But one warning look from Shun made him shut up. So he just sighed and moved closer to the fire, trying to get a little warmer. His hands had started to sting painfully, as he had warmed them on the fire and circulation restored itself slowly, but his feet were still numb.
It was two hours later when he heard Shun murmur something. Warily, Hyoga observed his friend who was clearly still asleep, even though far from restful. The Andromeda Saint kept on muttering something inaudible and moved his limbs under the confines of the sleeping bag. In a matter of seconds, he became more and more agitated and tossed his head restlessly from one side to the other.
Hyoga waited a few minutes, but Shun's trashing didn't stop and even became more violent, his mind trapped in horrid memories of a nightmare.
Mindful of his friend's order to wake him in case of another nightmare, Hyoga stood and approached the sleeping bag, crouching down at its side. Carefully, he nudged the shoulder closest to him.
Shun didn't even acknowledge him, even less wake up. Hyoga shook him harder. "Hey, Shun. Wake up."
This time, he got more of a reaction than he wanted. Shun's eyes flew open and glared, confused and hateful at him - or rather through him, for there was no recognition in the green eyes - for a split-second. Hyoga felt a bang of energy slam into him and throw him a few meters backwards, making him crash sideways into the boulders behind their camp. He heard the snapping sound, like a breaking twig, before a breath-taking pain radiated from his wrist up his arm and body. He slumped down heavily to the ground in front of the boulder and stayed there, panting and trying to catch his breath and getting control over the pain in his side and arm.
Through blurry vision he saw Shun sitting up, looking at him with wide eyes, recognizing him at last.
"Oh Goddess. Hyoga!"
Hyoga closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, to gain control over the situation and his hurting body. Shutting out everything around him for those few moments he needed.
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The Andromeda Saint woke in time to see Hyoga impact the rock side. With near panic, he freed himself of the sleeping bag.
'Ikilledhimohgodsikilledhim' Shun couldn't stop the tumbling thoughts forming, fumbling, consuming, keeping all other thought out, while he finally disentangled himself and ran over to Hyoga, going to his knees beside him. Hyoga's eyes were shut tightly in pain and he was taking rasping breaths, but he was breathing. Shun allowed relief to wash over him. Finally Hyoga opened his eyes and looked up at him, even managing a slight smile. "Hyoga, are you alright? Can you get up?" The Russian nodded and Shun took hold of his shoulders and helped him into a sitting position.
"Gods, Hyoga. I'm so sorry. I didn't recognize you. I could have..."
Hyoga took some deep breaths, ignoring the searing pain in his hand and interrupted his friends frantic rambling. "It's okay, Shun. I'm fine. It was an accident."
Shun shook his head and felt a stinging in his eyes, as tears of frustration dwelled up on him. "I could have killed you. I didn't even recognize you. All I saw was…" he trailed off, leaving his thoughts unsaid and lowered his head.
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The deep desperation in his voice broke Hyoga's heart. There was so much pain there… He didn't think about his next actions and reacted only out of a sudden feeling to ease the pain of his hurting friend somehow. He reached forward with his unhurt hand, grabbed Shun's shoulder and pulled him close until the younger one's head rested against his shoulder. Shun stiffened at first, but then gave in to the embrace.
"I'm so sorry Shun. I wish I could help you. You are hurting like never before and there is nothing I can do to help you, if you don't tell me what is bothering you," Hyoga whispered softly.
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Shun didn't answer for several minutes. What he had feared had happened. Caught in the dream, he had used his Cosmo and had hit Hyoga with it. It was all her fault. He wanted to tell Hyoga so badly. He wanted to let it all out but he was scared shitless about the looks of accusation and disgust he was sure to get from his friend from the moment he told him. And still, feeling Hyoga rubbing comforting circles against his back he could feel his resolve crumble and the tears fell hot on his cheeks.
"She used to say she loved me. She wanted my love in return but I couldn't give it to her," he started to murmur, first hesitating, but then some barrier broke inside of him. He grabbed a fistful of Hyoga's coat in a tight grip and let go of his held back words and tears. "I hated every touch from her, despised every word and hated every smile she made. I felt so helpless and I didn't know if Athena or you would or could come to get me out, as long as she endangered what Athena stands to protect. I felt so alone and scared. And she used to touch me, wanting to kiss me. I felt nauseous letting her close to me. And then one night. The night before I saw you, she came on to me." He swallowed passed the tears, fighting the nauseous feeling at the memory. But he forced himself to go on. There was no stopping now, but his voice was no more than a painful whisper. "She wanted to make Love with me. She... she just came to me and was all over me. I pushed her back, refused to let her near me. She said that she would detonate one of the bombs if I would not do it. I didn't want too, I swear, but I couldn't refuse. I am a Saint. I have to protect humanity. It is my duty, you must understand Hyoga. I had no choice..." His last words were spoken in a desperation so deep, his voice trembled.
He looked up fearful at Hyoga, expecting to be pushed off, but his eyes widened as he saw tear tracks down his friends cheeks, who looked at him with painful eyes.
"I'm so sorry Shun. I was there, but I had no idea. I couldn't do anything." Instead of pushing him off, Hyoga pulled him even closer, hugging him close to his own body with his arm. Shun stayed this way for a long while, crying silently, guarded by his friend's presence and comfort.
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Hyoga felt his own tears down his cheeks. Tears of sympathy for his friend. A friend who had been hurt deeply. He felt anger in the back of his heart for Natasha. She would pay for it. This wasn't over. Not by a long shot. Shun had always kept a big part of his innocence, no matter what fights they had fought. And Natasha had hurt him on this innocence, the most precious thing about Shun. Why him? He thought. Why didn't she want another of them? They all would have been hurt by her actions, but they would have just done it to protect innocent people and not thought much more of it. They wouldn't have been hurt as deeply as Shun. They had all lost their innocence before. Now she had destroyed Shun's as well. 'Oh dear God,' He thought, 'Don't let him lose his innocence and kind soul because of her.'
So he just held Shun close, letting him cry it out.
It was about a half hour later when Shun's sobs finally subsided and he straightened, swallowed and met Hyoga's eyes. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to cry," he said.
Hyoga smiled, trying to lay all the compassion and friendship he felt for the younger boy in that gesture. "Don't worry. You had every right to do so. I'm your friend. Don't you ever justify your actions before me."
"Thank you, for not rejecting me," Shun whispered.
Hyoga leaned forward, whipping some more tears from Shun's face with his palm, then resting his hand on his friend's shoulder, squeezing lightly. "Never. You are my best friend, because you are what you are. I will never reject you. I promise."
Shun sniffed once more, whipping away the last of the tears on his face with his sleeve and managed a small smile. "I'm lucky to have a friend who is willing to sit in the cold snow, freezing his butt off, so I can cry on his coat."
Hyoga laughed. "If that is all it takes for true friendship, I'm perfectly willing to do that, Tovarish. But I think right now I have another problem."
Shun narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"I think I broke my wrist on the impact with the boulder."
Shun looked at him alarmed and gasped. "Are you sure?"
Hyoga still smiled, but now Shun saw the fine lines of pain around his friend's eyes. "I don't think you can forget the feeling of broken bones, now could you?"
"Let's go to the fire and I'll take a look." Shun said and stood up. He reached down and took Hyoga's healthy hand, helping him up. Hyoga closed his eyes, once standing and took a deep breath as the pain in his hand and side returned with the movement.
Shun stayed close beside him on the way back to the fire, ready to steady him, should he need his assistance. Once back, he helped him sit down on the sleeping bag.
"Are you sure it is only the hand?" he asked worriedly.
Hyoga nodded. "I think so. I have no trouble breathing, but I'll have a helluva bruise on my side tomorrow."
"I'm really sorry Hyoga," Shun said looking guilty.
Hyoga held his gaze intensely "Hey. Don't beat yourself up over it. It was an accident, okay." When Shun didn't react, he squeezed the other boy's hand "Okay?"
Shun nodded and sat beside him on the bag. "Let me see your hand."
Hyoga complied and Shun took the limb carefully into his hand. "I will have to take off the glove. It's going to hurt like hell though."
"I've had worse in my life. I'll live," Hyoga smiled.
"Okay then." Shun carefully pulled on the glove to remove it. Hyoga closed his eyes, when pain grew into agony, searing through his whole body. He tried to relax and breathe profoundly through the pain, to better bear it.
It was only Shun's sharp intake of breath, which let him open his eyes and meet his friend's alarmed face.
"Oh Gods. Hyoga, why didn't you tell me?"
Hyoga didn't understand at first. "I told you that the wrist is broken."
"That is not what I mean. Why didn't you tell me about this?" Shun pointed at the exposed hand with his own.
Hyoga looked down. His wrist sported a purple-blue color and was swollen at least twice its size, but it wasn't that, what Shun indicated at. His whole hand had lost almost all color, only his fingers were slightly bluish and the finger tips started to take on a darker bluish tone already.
"Don't tell me, you who have been raised in Siberia doesn't know the signs of a frostbite!?" Shun accused angrily.
"We don't have time to worry about that," Hyoga tried to explain. "I knew it was a risk to expose myself to this weather without Cosmo.
"We can only hope that our followers will lose some toes too," He added in a lighter voice.
But Shun didn't buy it. "This isn't funny Hyoga. You should have told me."
"And what would you have done about it?" Hyoga said more serious. "It will get better, once I get closer to the fire and I'm a little warmer. We will reach the boarder tomorrow, or the day after. I can handle it until then."
Shun held his gaze without replying. After a while he carefully laid Hyoga's hand back on the ground and stood up. "I'll see if I can find something to set it." He disappeared into the woods and returned a short while later with some wooden sticks. When he walked around the sleeping bag to get back in front of Hyoga, he bent down and lifted the cord they tied up the bag with before. He sat back down beside Hyoga and gently took the damaged hand back into his lap.
"It doesn't look misplaced too much. I will only immobilize it for the moment. It will be better if a doctor sets it after some X-rays." He ripped a piece of cloth off his coat and laid it loosely around the injured limb, before he placed the sticks around the broken joint and bound the cord around it several times, tight enough to immobilize it, but loose enough not to cut off the circulation.
"And this time you will say something if you feel the swelling increase, you hear me?" he said severely to Hyoga, who hadn't made a sound of discomfort the whole time, even though he knew that Shun knew how much it hurt to splint a broken bone. And Hyoga also saw how Shun glanced worriedly at the piece of fabric he fisted tightly with his good hand, trying to distract himself from the pain and make it bearable.
Hyoga answered with a short nod to Shun's command and started to get to his feet. But Shun stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. "No. It is your turn to sleep. I'll take the next guard." He stood and moved from the sleeping bag. Hyoga smiled gratefully, but his smile didn't reach his eyes. He was in too much pain right now and if he was honest, he longed for the relative warmth of the sleeping bag. He pulled off his boots and laid down in the bag. He observed Shun walk to the fire and put some more logs on it. Hyoga closed his eyes and shivered. He hurt really bad from the broken hand, and felt terribly cold. Sitting on the cold snow-covered ground for so long had definitely been a bad idea. But Shun had needed it, so he didn't regret anything. He tried to relax, but the fire didn't do much to chase the chill in his bones.
He didn't realize the movement directly behind him at first, all his mind on the pain and cold, but he opened the eyes with a start when he felt an arm going around him from his back, and another body laying down beside him. He jerked up his head and turned it to see Shun laying close behind him on top of the bag, his body close to Hyoga's, smiling at him. "Sleep Hyoga. You'll need your strength tomorrow. I'll stay awake to keep guard." Hyoga felt the air around them getting warmer, as Shun burned his Cosmo, chasing the cold from the air around them. Hyoga smiled back gratefully and laid his head back down. Some minutes later he was asleep.
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Shun stayed awake for the next few hours, but didn't move from Hyoga's side, keeping him warm until they would continue their way.
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It was about seven in the morning, when Igor and his men reached the place with the rocks. He crouched in front of the abandoned fire place, took off his gloves and touched the still warm ashes slightly with the tip of his fingers. A victorious smile played around his lips. The two boys had no more than a half hour lead on them. And they would catch up with them shortly now.
T.B.C